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12 Fictional Bands That I Didn’t Mention on Nerd Lunch Episode 170

Posted on March 17, 2015 by sexyarmpit

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The Nerd Lunch Podcast Episode 170 is now available for download! It’s all about fictional/fake bands from various forms of entertainment. Tim Lybarger, CT, Pax, and myself offer some of our favorites and then later in the show we try to guess some really obscure selections! After you listen, check out my list of fictional bands below that I didn’t get a chance to mention on the podcast.

12. Danger Kitty, Discover Card Commercial, 2001
They’ve been enjoying the biggest success of their career as Steel Panther, and to think they started as a cover band playing ’80s hair band songs in Los Angeles! Originally they were known as Metal Shop, and then Metal Skool and they gained quite a following, now, as Steel Panther they’re touring the world, literally. Everyone loves a some good, tight zebra skin spandex and vagina jokes. Early on, the band appeared as Danger Kitty in a Discover Card commercial where they played a kids Bar Mitzvah. In 2001, at their website, you could get a CD single of the track they played in the commercial called “Love Rocket,” and you can imagine that I requested mine in about .02 milliseconds. Of course, I still have it and have been obsessed with the band ever since.

11. Arsenal, Rock of Ages Musical, 2005-present
Rock of Ages has been a staple musical since 2005 in various parts of the country and touring all over the world. The show spawned a 2012 film adaptation which I still haven’t watched in fear that it’s nowhere near as good as the stage show. The main band in the show is Arsenal and they play actual ’80s arena rock tunes, but what makes them so special to me is that all of the stops on their fictional first tour were to random New Jersey towns! If you want to see proof, I have their original promotional t-shirt and there are photos in my review of the off Broadway production from 2008. This early incarnation of ROA reviewed here was the best before they started tweaking the story, characters, and actors.

10. The Barbusters, Light of Day, 1987
The band in this rock drama is comprised of Michael J. Fox and Joan Jett in one hell of an oddball mash up. The title track was written by Bruce Springsteen. Bon Jovi also appears on the soundtrack.

9. The Lost Soulz, The Perfect Age of Rock n Roll
This rock and roll road movie was filmed partly in New Jersey and my friend Jasin Cadic from the band Starkiller co-wrote it! Check out my review from when it was released.

8. Black Roses, 1988
A monstrous metal band turns everyone into monsters – quite a masterpiece. I recommend adding it to your Halloween time viewing if you haven’t done so in the past. Tracks like “Dance on Fire” and “Soldiers of the Night,” are staples of my Fall playlists. Bands that appear on this rare soundtrack include Lizzy Borden and King Kobra.

7. Vesuvius, The Rocker, 2008
For a while I was watching The Rocker at least 3 times a week. That’s what happens when HBO gets a hold of a new movie. Rainn Wilson and Christina Applegate star in the comedy, but it’s a who’s who of comedic actors such as Fred Armisen, Will Arnett, and Jeff Garlin. It’s well worth your time if you are into silly comedies about rock bands like Spinal Tap. The direct result of watching this movie constantly: I was obsessed with “Promised Land” and listened to it on loop on the way to work for several months. The tunes by Vesuvius are attributed to singer Keith England and his band Lazlo Bane.

6. Stillwater, Almost Famous, 2000
A young music journalist embarks on tour with his favorite band Stillwater to document their exploits for a possible published spot in a rock magazine. Said to be based off of the early years of director Cameron Crowe’s life. I’ve had a couple of Stillwater songs on my iPod ever since I owned an iPod. The authentic track, “Fever Dog,” it sounds like it was a lost track made recorded in the mid ’70s, and it’s not surprising because the Stillwater songs were written by Crowe, his ex-wife Nancy Wilson of Heart, and Peter Frampton which helped give it that special vintage sound. Although the film did not knock ’em dead at the box office, the soundtrack won a Grammy for best soundtrack/compilation.

5. Dyver Down from Holliston, 2013
Used mostly for comic relief, the Van Halen tribute band Dyver Down, lead by Lance Rocket (Dee Snider) actually has a track available on iTunes called “Love It Down Your Throat” and a schlocky, badass music video to go along with it. This was my favorite aspect of the show, well, this and Laura Ortiz of course.

4. Mouthfeel and Juggernaut, Gettin’ The Band Back Together
You’re almost guaranteed not to be familiar with these next bands, (it’s a twofer, I cheated) but you will be soon if all goes well. I was lucky enough to see the play getting the band back together with Miss Sexy Armpit at the George Street Playhouse in New Brunswick in its early phase. It’s been rumored for a while now that it’s on making it’s way to Broadway. If this happens, you may be seeing Rock of Ages take a back seat because that is how funny and entertaining this play is. The comedy/rock musical hybrid is about, you guessed it, a guy who gets his band back together to save his home and neighborhood. They get into a battle of the bands which pits the evil Mouthfeel against the rock heroes in Juggernaut. The original songs are ’80s arena rock style and a select few are available on iTunes. Unfortunately the self titled track “Mouthfeel” isn’t available. I hope Mouthfeel’s tracks make it to the Broadway show otherwise I’m protesting in ’80s hair band attire.

3. Eddie and the Cruisers, 1983
This Jersey classic is possibly one of the most successful fictitious band songs ever. “On The Dark Side,” by John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band, scored a number one hit on the Mainstream Rock singles and reached number 7 on the Billboard Hot 100. The sequel, Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives, arrived in 1989.

2. Tears of Blood, Disney’s Wizards of Waverly Place
If you follow me on Twitter, you may have read about how my life has spun out of control ever since Netflix removed Wizards of Waverly Place from their streaming service. I was completely devastated. It was like a punch in the gut! It’s one of my favorite shows of all time and it never fails to make me happy. One minor aspect of the show references a rock band called Tears of Blood. They get mentioned in a bunch of episodes and there’s even a poster that shows up on the wall in one scene. TOB is crazy popular with the teenage crowd within the universe of the show. They even get mentioned in other Disney shows which was always surprising considering the very un-Disney-like name of one of their tracks, “Crying Blood for You.” I can’t be certain anyone has actually heard their music though. If anyone has Tears of Blood music, send it my way!

1. The Hex Girls, Scooby Doo
Scooby Doo fans are ultra familiar with this “eco-goth rock band.” You can see and hear them perform in several Scooby outings, but I suggest you check out the Mystery Inc. episode “In Fear of the Phantom” while it’s still streaming on Netflix. In it, Daphne joins the band as a temporary new member, Crush, voiced by the lovely Grey DeLisle-Griffin. Look out for the influences of Phantom of the Opera, Phantom of the Paradise, and an awesome little surprise cameo from Vincent Van Ghoul from the 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo!

Who are some of your favorite fictional bands? Leave ’em in the comments! Thanks for reading!

Trixter Is Triumphant!

Posted on June 15, 2012 by sexyarmpit

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1QsE18PNIA?rel=0]

Trixter’s latest single “Tattoos and Misery” off their album New Audio Machine

On my commute home from work today, “Heart of Steel” came up on my iPod. As I drove with the windows down and the cool air blowing into the car, the song reminded me of how great Trixter was. They still are as a matter of fact! You may not realize it, but they are still rocking! The Trixter guys were the young dudes on the block as the hair bands began to go extinct, so they still have a lot of gas in the tank and they are about to start putting the pedal to the metal once again.

Remember when Rocky climbed to the top of the mountain in Rocky IV? When you reach the top, it’s hard to get any higher. Where could he go from there? Launch himself into space? That’s unlikely, regardless of how awesome he is. Trixter did the same exact thing in the music world. They sold tons of records, had a huge hit video on MTV, and toured the world with legendary acts. The best part is, they lived to tell about it and even cut a brand new record New Audio Machine that was released in late April. A whole new generation of fans is now getting a chance to see Trixter live as they tour around the globe to promote this new set of tunes!

If you are into flawless melodic rock with an edge and enjoy recalling simpler days of carefree rock and roll, Trixter’s songs definitely have a place on your iPod. If you are unfamiliar with their early work, it’s still as fresh sounding as it was throughout the ’80s and early ’90s. Trixter was all over the hard rock and hair metal scene back then. They were on the covers of metal and rock magazines and everyone around Jersey was psyched to have known them or have a run-in with them at the local mall. It was another feather in the cap for Jersey people because in addition to huge acts like Bruce, and Bon Jovi, we were also lucky enough to say Trixter was from right around the corner too.

While “Give It To Me Good” might sound like a line a porn actress might have demanded Ron Jeremy to do to her in the ’80s, it’s actually the song that really put the rocking sons of Paramus NJ on the map. A couple of classics from the era followed with “One in a Million” and “Surrender.” Trixter was also voted #29 on VH1’s Top 40 Hair Band Countdown. Pete, Steve, P.J, and Mark put on such an awesome show and you can read my review of their 2008 show at Dexter’s HERE. Seriously, don’t waste your money on Tom Cruise singing cover songs of the era on the Rock of Ages soundtrack, get the real deal stuff from the guys who actually lived it – Jersey’s own Trixter! New Audio Machine is available on iTunes.

See Trixter LIVE!
September 29th, 2012
Mexicali Blues in Teaneck, NJ.
CLICK HERE FOR TICKETS!

Steel Panther’s Stix Zadinia, A Jersey Drummer!

Posted on November 18, 2011 by sexyarmpit

http://steelpantherrocks.com

Steel Panther are the Viagra addicted, horny hair metal sons of Spinal Tap. The band has been on a tear since 2003’s Hole Patrol, and 2009’s Feel The Steel. Just a few weeks ago Steel Panther released their latest album BALLS OUT available through iTunes, Amazon or wherever you BUY music. Don’t illegally download this album because these m’fers need the money. Especially Stix cause he’s obviously been in therapy ever since missing out on the chance of drumming for Bon Jovi. Read all about the Jersey drummer in his bio pictured above that appeared in Feel The Steel‘s CD booklet.

SEE STEEL PANTHER ON DECEMBER 1st at STARLAND BALLROOM!

Drinking With Strangers by Butch Walker with Matt Diehl Review

Posted on October 26, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Maybe the cover of Butch Walker’s new book should’ve depicted a name plate that reads BUTCH WALKER: ROCK AND ROLL CHAMELEON. Who’s Butch Walker, you ask? Really? Do I still have to explain that one? One way or another, chances are you know Butch Walker. He’s reinvented himself more times than Madonna. He’s gone from hairband member in Southgang, lead singer and guitarist in late ’90s rock band Marvelous 3, an accomplished producer for the likes of Weezer, Katy Perry, Pink, and Avril Lavigne, to at the present moment, “just under the radar” indie rocker. If you’re becoming acquainted with Butch Walker now, it will only take reading the 253 page Drinking with Strangers Music Lessons From a Teenage Bullet Belt, a book he wrote with Matt Diehl, to feel like you’ve known him forever.

Butch Walker’s brief memoir does not recount explicitly epic rock star stories as printed in The Dirt or The Heroin Diaries. Perhaps Lifestyles of the Excessive and Eccentric is a more appropriate title for books about the lives of rock stars, but don’t expect to read about week long benders from Butch, unless they involve songwriting. Occasionally he recalls messing around with a couple of girls, or drinking way too much, but it’s not comparable to the exploits of Motley Crue. As much as he tries distancing himself from the hairband era, the best parts of the book turn out to be descriptions of random moments in his life, coincidentally with members of Motley Crue. For instance, the time he took a reckless helicopter excursion with his friend Tommy Lee. Walker even reveals a time he hung out with the Cruemaster himself, Nikki Sixx, and discovered just how over the top his lifestyle is. Walker’s obsessive desire to be a better musician, songwriter, and producer has, for the most part, kept him from falling into the usual rock and roll indulgences.

Throughout the book, Butch reveals a number of stories, some embarrassing, others frustrating. His anecdotes were very real and not embellished like you’d expect from a 40 year old rocker. He brings up his chance meeting with one of his favorites, Elvis Costello, how the band Creed opened for him before they were big and almost put the crowd to sleep, and he also reflects humorously on the time he accidentally smoked crack. If that sounds oddball enough for you then I’d pull up a stool and have a drink with Butch. Oh, and there was even that time he made a gay slur while working with songwriter Desmond Child. He felt terrible, but assumed that “…he’d heard the same stupid thing out of New Jersey knuckleheads like Richie Sambora and Jon Bon Jovi, anyway.”

My one main annoyance in the book was Walker’s constant name dropping of Pink. We get it Butch, you’re friends with Pink! Walker and Pink are friends and have worked together on music, but he tells us more about his relationship with Pink than anything about his actual wife and mother of his child, Nora. The most we learned about Nora is that she is a heavy sleeper. He rarely, if ever, gushed about his young son, although he did express how overwhelming it would be if he had lost them in the devastating wildfire that took his home California a few years back.

Even if Butch’s career didn’t go exactly the way he planned it, he’s never given up. He’s now considered a true songwriter and musician and it’s taken over 20 years of hard work to gain that recognition. Aspiring musicians should use this book as a guide; it may change how they approach their career. Walker points out that if you can attain just enough success it will provide the ability to be creatively free, independent, and even financially secure enough to avoid kowtowing to major label bullshit. It seems to me that Butch should be more appreciative of his first taste of success – the hairband days, but he’s way too in love with the present moment to waste time looking back.

Motley Crue, Poison, and The New York Dolls in Holmdel NJ

Posted on July 17, 2011 by sexyarmpit

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir1KkVjHOIY?rel=0]

Motley Crue “Wild Side” at PNC 2008 footage by The Sexy Armpit

Tonight the concert tour that many of us rock fans dreamed about since we were kids is stopping at the PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel, NJ. Motley Crue, Poison, and The New York Dolls will rock the amphitheater tonight in what’s sure to be a kickass show. The parking situation at PNC is terrible but it’s a hell of a night and it’s a great venue for a show once you get inside. The Sexy Armpit will see you there if you are going!

This tour marks Poison’s 25th anniversary tour which they are billing as “Glam-a-Geddon 2011,” and there are rumors that this may be their last tour, at least for a while. They’ve been touring almost non stop since the early 2000’s. Motley Crue is said to have a new CD on the way and aside from Mick’s health issues, they show no signs of slowing down. With their new lineup, The New York Dolls are promoting their most recent album Dancing Backward in High Heels.

Now for some Poison footage Sexy Armpit style with “Talk Dirty To Me” from 2008:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvgD-SYCKKw?rel=0]

Kip Winger Thursday: The Greatest Kip Winger Story Ever Told!!!

Posted on July 16, 2009September 5, 2018 by sexyarmpit

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Kip Winger Thursday, it’s a day that can alleviate some of the tension from the stresses of the economic crisis, the soaring unemployment rate, and other terrible atrocities. It’s a day when all we have to do is fondly recall the more carefree atmosphere of the days of ’80s hairbands. When the sunset strip was crawling with bands like Motley Crue and Guns N Roses and all was right in the world…well, my world at least. I think Stevie Rachelle said it best “When Def Leppard rocked and Skid Row Ruled,” in his song “American Hairband.” Grunge came in like a lion but it totally went out like a lamb. Nowadays who really cares about grunge anyway? Life is challenging, and depressing as it is so why would we want our music to make us even more angry and morose? Don’t you want to have fun and party?

During last week’s ’80s hard rock extravaganza aptly known as Rocklahoma, party is exactly what they did. For 4 days in Pryor, Oklahoma, fans of the genre relived the hairband glory days. It’s an opportunity to see your favorites from the era, as well as new bands who keep the scene alive like Wildstreet and Bang Camaro. Some of the classic bands that appeared this year were Anthrax, Overkill, RATT, Danger Danger, Kix, Nelson, Lizzy Borden, Skid Row, and Twisted Sister to name a few. The festival has been going on since 2007, and has been building up steam each year. The true fans show up hardcore, front and center for all 4 days! I happen to know one of those fans.

A friend of mine, Elise, wouldn’t miss Rocklahoma for the world. She takes her love of these bands to the next level.

On July 11th, 2009 at 1:04 AM, I received this text message from her:

“I just told Kip about u and KWT!!!!”

Apparently, Kip Winger was hanging out at the show and Elise had the chance to slyly slip in a mention for my ongoing Thursday meme dedicated to Kip Winger. To join in the fun, go to www.twitter.com/sexyarmpit. Kip was even in New Jersey a few weeks back and I had the opportunity to go to the show, but the idea of someone else telling Kip about Kip Winger Thursday felt so much cooler to me, especially coming from a girl who he was clearly digging! A BIG thanks from The Sexy Armpit, Elise!

Also, Bring Back Glam has an abundance of info on Rocklahoma and the reasons why it sucked this year, so head over and check out Allyson’s awesome blog.

15 Bon Jovi Songs That Won’t Turn You Into a Pussy

Posted on June 4, 2009 by sexyarmpit

When We Were Beautiful sounds like a coffee table book featuring photographs comparing and contrasting female senior citizens with glamorous photos of them from 50 years earlier. When I first heard that Phil Griffin ‘s Bon Jovi documentary, that recently premiered at the Tribeca film festival, and the upcoming book with the same name (slated for Fall ’09 through Harper Collins), was to be called “When We Were Beautiful,” I seriously almost puked.

In case the folks at Harper Collins read this, here are a few of my top choices for new titles for the book:

1) When We Were Ballsier
2) Back When We Had Some Degree of BALLS!
3) When We Were a Band Who Wouldn’t Ever in a Million Years Think of Releasing a Book With a Name as Ghey as “When We Were Beautiful”
4) This Left Never Felt Right in Any Way Shape or Form, You Know What, As a Matter of Fact, Just Stop Making Turns Altogether!

Combining such a weak book title with albums like Lost Highway, Bon Jovi has certified that the band they were in the ’80s has officially been put to rest. I’m constantly hoping, secretly of course, that Bon Jovi will finally return to their rock roots and unleash an album for guys. Songs like “Wanted Dead or Alive” and “You Give Love a Bad Name” are songs that guys could rock out to because they’re bold and written from a guys point of view.

Age 4 through age 9, I prided myself on being a Bon Jovi fan, along with other rock bands like KISS, Motley, GNR and Poison. It was OK to like Bon Jovi even if you were a guy, in fact, being from Jersey even gave you street cred by association. For the past 15 years or so, that hasn’t been the case, even though Bon Jovi has enjoyed continued success from hit singles to blockbuster tours. Unfortunately, now, all they do is coddle their 40-something female fans dying to jump some Jovi ass. Sometime around 1992, every guy who liked Bon Jovi started to get persecuted for being a fan. Some blame the onslaught of Grunge, but after years of contemplation, I could tell you that Jon Bon Jovi is to blame for the whole problem.

If Jon Bon Jovi was born just a little bit uglier, oh say…more Lemmy looking, we MALE Jovi fans would have our freakin’ Jersey ROCK back. Once JBJ realized that the key to his goldmine was singing songs to wives, fiances, daughters, and girlfriends all around the world, his musical mission became melting hearts and not our faces. Dude’s 47 and women still have coronaries when he hits the stage. Dude does spirit fingers and women go into cardiac arrest. Important tip for guys: don’t do spirit fingers…ever…it won’t work for you. Unless you’ve sold 120 million albums worldwide and have appeared on Oprah, girls will not like it if you do spirit fingers. Dude kisses random women in the audience while their husbands stand beside them, faces glowing with a shit-eating grin. How many guys’ wives can you go up to, grasp their arms, and plant a nice big kiss on without their psycho hubby’s attempting manslaughter on you? Jon Bon Jovi can do that kind of shit.

Picture it: The summer is here. You’re cruising around town in your newly washed car. The light turns red, you have to stop. Your music is blasting, but wait! Oh shit! Your windows are down! You can’t let anyone hear what’s playing on your stereo! Don’t get nervous, you need not worry. Just load this playlist onto your iPod and you’ll be fine. While I can’t guarantee you won’t get made fun of for listening to Bon Jovi, you’ll definitely have less of a chance of being accused of having a vagina by the guy in the monster truck blasting Slayer’s “Angel of Death.” Don’t be afraid to crank up your car stereo because listening to Bon Jovi does not have to be an emasculating experience. – The Sexy Armpit: Helping to Keep the Jovi schmaltz to a minimum.

Click here to check out this playlist on iTunes!

15) King of the Mountain, 7800 Fahrenheit (1985) – This chest pounder will make you feel like you’re on top of the world. “Boss man says, ‘Hey boy, you’ll never be no good’…Tonight’s the night they can’t put you down, no one could.”

14) Hook Me Up, Bounce (2002) – It’s ridiculous that I’m writing a post about Bon Jovi veering too far away from their hard rock roots while critics ravaged Jovi’s half-hearted hard rock comeback album, Bounce. “Hook Me Up” opens with the line “Hello, is there anybody out there?” Not only is this similar to the line that kicks off “We Got It Goin’ On,” from Lost Highway, “Is there anybody out there looking for a party,” but also reminiscent of when Bruce Springsteen begs the question of his listeners “This is Radio Nowhere, is there anybody alive out there?” in the first track of his ’07 album, Magic. The underrated “Hook Me Up,” has a bleak, foreboding quality rarely heard in Jovi songs.

13) Blood on Blood, New Jersey (1988) – By far this is the “Bruciest” Bon Jovi song ever. In the vein of Springsteen and other Jovi songs, “Blood on Blood” tells a story using names and places: “Danny knew this white trash girl, we each threw in a ten, she took us to this cheap motel, and turned us into men.”

12) We Rule the Night, 100,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can’t Be Wrong (2004) – Thanks to it’s menacing swirl of rising and falling guitar sounds and trancelike drum beats, this reject from ’85 is easily one of the coolest finds on Bon Jovi’s box set of unreleased material, demos, and alternate cuts. The lyrics make the song sound like it could have been on the soundtrack to The Lost Boys or The Warriors: “No one can save you, there’s nothing to say, Deception’s the name of the game” The “Whoa-Oh’s” sound like the precursor to those in “Livin’ On a Prayer.”

11) I Believe, Keep The Faith, (1992) Bon Jovi used to incorporate this song into their concert set lists but has rarely been performed as of late. It’s one of their most hard rocking songs that rises to immense proportions. Lyrically, “You and Me Can Turn a Whisper To a Scream” recalls the title of The Icicle Works’ hit “Birds Fly (Whisper to a Scream).”

10) Breakout, Bon Jovi (1984) Back in the day, Bon Jovi wrote songs that were all about being lied to and getting fed up with the deceptive hoebags that they were dating: “Your lies can’t hide what I see, I’m better off on my own.” The band’s mega success and bagging chicks like Diane Lane and Heather Locklear seemed to have squelched their scornful sentiments rather quickly.

9) Social Disease, Slippery When Wet (1986) – “You can’t start a fire without a spark” was ripped straight from Springsteen’s “Dancing in the Dark” and as eloquent as it is, “She could run the bullet train on 38 Double D’s” sure as hell wasn’t. “Social Disease” is a fun and lively romp about love, sex, and maybe even a PSA about STD’s: “You cant hide when infection starts…”

8) If I Was Your Mother, Keep The Faith (1992) – Possibly the oddest, most f’d up Bon Jovi song ever. If you don’t listen closely you might miss the pussified lyrics because they’re smothered by crunching rhythms and blistering guitars. BJ wonders “Tell me what I got to do, To make my life mean more to you, I could get so close it’s true, If I was your mother.” There are various rumors as to what the message to this song really is, but it just seems to me that Jon’s singing about seeking a deeper, more elusive connection with a woman. Or maybe he’s just being a pansy.

7) Hey God, These Days (1995) – An average guy with a family asks God why he’s making life so tough for him. The music kicks into a tornado of desperation while the lyrics describe family problems, and financial troubles: “Hey God – Tell me what the hell is going on, Seems like all the good shit’s gone” The most awesome aspect of this song is that Bon Jovi can still write songs from the perspective of the regular guy and still make them sound relatable, even though the band is worth millions.

6) In and Out of Love, 7800 Fahrenheit (1985) – I like blasting this one, and I don’t know about you, but I’m a sucker for a good sexual euphemism. Like Jane Lynch motioning perversly with her bagel dog in Role Models, “Shes here to make my night complete.”

5) 99 In The Shade, New Jersey (1988) in the category of carefree summer songs this one wipes the floor with Lost Highway’s “Summertime.” Remember when the band was young and had fun getting into some trouble and had trouble getting out of their spandex pants? Lines like “I got a party in my pocket cause you know I just got paid,” indicated that the possibilities were limitless. The perfect song for looking at girls in bikinis on a sunny day at the Jersey Shore. In comparison, “Summertime” is reserved for the folks relaxing in their retirement community.

4) You Give Love a Bad Name, Slippery When Wet (1986) Just as he is in “Breakout,” Jon is all tied up in those metaphorical chains again in this Jovi classic. I heeded their warning back in ’86, girls promise you heaven, then put you through hell.

3) Wanted Dead or Alive, Slippery When Wet (1986) No other band or singer should ever think of covering the ULTIMATE Bon Jovi song, Chris Daughtry, this means YOU!

2) Roulette, Bon Jovi (1984) – The purest example of what Bon Jovi did best. The driving bassline is accentuated with a gambling analogy. Apparently, banging a woman who’s in a relationship is comparable to placing bets on a roulette wheel. I’m placing all my money on the fact that she’s actually a cheating whore. “You just keep on playin’ when all the bets are down”

1) Raise Your Hands, Slippery When Wet (1986) – No, it’s not the old Sure Deodorant commercial, it’s the most kickass Bon Jovi song EVER MADE, just ask Lone Star and Barf. They had to buy new speakers for the space winnebago after cranking this one. If the heroes of Spaceballs can rock out to it, then it’s good enough for you to BLAST in your super silly smart car. Fun fact from New Jersey to Tokyo: As the song fades out, listen closely for the shout out to Jon’s hometown of Sayreville, NJ.

Steel Panther’s “Death to All But Metal” Video

Posted on March 25, 2009 by sexyarmpit

A Twisted Sister Christmas at The Nokia Theatre in Times Square 12-5-08!

Posted on December 7, 2008 by sexyarmpit

Twisted Sister decked the halls of the Nokia Theater in Times Square REALLY HARD on December 5th, 2008 for their Christmas show and The Sexy Armpit was in attendance! If you’d like a visual aid, check out the video montage I edited up for you at the bottom of this post!

I was impressed with opening acts ZO2 and The Dirty Pearls, both from Brooklyn. I’ve seen ZO2 live before, and their afroed frontman Paulie Z has a dynamic voice and a likeable personality. Bassist David Z and Drummer Joey Cassata are abundantly talented and make the tunes sound rockin’, even though they’ve got a run of the mill ’70s retro rock vibe. Regardless, I found myself wanting to come home and download “Isolate” and “Ain’t it Beautiful.” Their TV show Z-Rock airs on the Independent Film Channel, and it’s also available on iTunes.

I’ve heard songs from The Dirty Pearls before but last night was the first time I saw them live. They’ve got plenty of hard rock swagger and sleaze but thankfully they don’t chince out on the great chorus’ and hooks. What’s with all the afros in rock music? Both of the aforementioned openers have bandmembers with afros. Didn’t we get the memo? The afro thing was over a few years ago!

Hearing that Twisted Sister is playing Christmas music might seem cheesy to elitist music snobs, but they pull it off with cool to spare. You’d be surprised at how unbelievable Dee Snider’s voice sounds, it might be as strong as it was 20 years ago. I couldn’t make it to last year’s Twisted Christmas show, but I’m glad I was at this one because the entire band chewed up the Nokia Theatre and ate it for a midnight snack. Twisted consists of all original members (Dee, J.J, Mark, A.J, and Eddie) who effortlessly shred, hit, and berate their instruments yielding primal musical results. The band slashed through all their classic crushing tracks as well as the holiday fare from A Twisted Christmas, released in the fall of ’06.

The Twisted Christmas extravaganza became nothing short of holiday TV variety show! Mini Kiss ushered Santa Snider’s sleigh onto the stage. And still looking sexy, Lita Ford strutted onstage in a skintight red hot vinyl body suit to sing “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” with Dee. Another surprise was TNA Wrestling star, Mick Foley, who graced us by his presence disguised as Santa Claus offering to give the band members anything they wanted for Christmas. Naturally, Dee answered: “I WANNA ROCK!”

At the show, Dee announced that Twisted will release an album of all new material in ’09! And now onto my video montage of the show:

Trixter Rocks Dexter’s in Riverdale, New Jersey!

Posted on December 1, 2008 by sexyarmpit

I wasn’t about to travel to Pryor Creek, Oklahoma this past summer just to see a few boys from Paramus, New Jersey known as Trixter perform. For years, myself and many other fans of pop metal or the most insulting, heart wrenching adjective I can think of…hairbands, have been waiting patiently hoping that Trixter would reunite. Sure we’ve seen Warrant reunite with Jani Lane several thousand times, (FYI, Robert Mason is now lead singer) but what about Trixter? Steve (Stereo Fallout) and P.J (Ra) were in the successful local cover band Sugarbelly for years and they also released an extremely underrated CD as 40 Foot Ringo. Pete Loran and Mark “Gus” Scott haven’t been on the scene in quite some time, until now! It turns out that I didn’t have to head to Oklahoma to see a Trixter reunion after all!

On Friday, November 28th, all the original members of Trixter played their first show in New Jersey in over 13 years! Dexter’s Entertainment Complex in Riverdale was jammed and I could barely find parking. I’ve never been to Dexter’s so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I pulled into the lot and I thought I was Christmas shopping at the mall! After near endless attempts at finding a spot, I finally got one and made my way inside. I caught TNA’s performance which wasn’t bad. As TNA’s set came to an end, the place started filling up fast and I found myself getting moved closer to the stage.

At around midnight, Trixter took the stage. It was a cool moment and I’m glad I got to be there. They tore through all of their staple songs like “One in a Million,” “Surrender,” and of course, ended their set with “Give it to Me Good.” If you’re into glam metal or hairbands and you’ve never listened to Trixter, then you definitely need to. “Heart of Steel” and “Bad Girl” are a couple of personal favorites. Also, their 1992 album Hear! features a slew of great songs that went criminally unnoticed. Trixter veers toward the poppier side of the genre much like Poison does, but Trixter’s musicianship and knack for upbeat pop is undeniable. The band has expressed their interest in recording a new album, and if that happens, I see it making more of an impact than many of the other hairbands enjoying this under the radar renaissance.