NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 14: The New Jersey Giants

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Courtesy of XL3 Vintage Clothing

Last night the New York Giants won their first pre-season game against the Carolina Panthers at Giants Stadium. Depression sets in every time I watch a Giants game and I’m forced to fixate on that silly “NY” logo on the players’ helmets. Growing up in the ’80s, the Giants helmets simply read “GIANTS.” It was sleek and concentrated on the team name without any implication of geographical ownership. It’s a simple fact of life that the Giants will never change their name to the NY/NJ Giants, regardless of the fact that everyone in the country knows that their official headquarters, training facility, and home stadium are in East Rutherford, New Jersey. In a non-sports related argument, there’s no reason why a New York/New Jersey feud should even exist since their relationship is symbiotic. There’s no way the Giants would even exist without New Jersey, and their new stadium affirms that they’ll be sticking around for quite a long time.

During the ’80s and ’90s (and I’m sure it’s probably still happening) there were many bootleg “New Jersey Giants” shirts printed up. If you bought or wore one of these throughout the years, your fake boobs or juiced pecs were clinging to a lie. Wearing a shirt or an illegally created jersey that purported the Giants to be a New Jersey team was like falling in love with a girl who was already married. It’s a fruitless affair. New Jersey doesn’t want the Giants to be ours exclusively, we’re happy sharing Big Blue, but hell, we just want some credit! What’s the sense of having a fierce custody battle when we know that the Giants have lived in the swamps of New Jersey since ’76? I wonder how it would pan out if the Boston Red Sox stadium was actually in Rhode Island? The Rhode Island Red Sox has a better ring to it…and so does the Jersey Giants!!!

This shirt is a small, and it’s from the ’80s when everyone was the size of Napoleon, so I’d bet it’s only going to fit small children and girls without much in the boob department. Regardless, this sporty slice of retro heaven is ideal for those who love the G-Men, AND New Jersey!

To check out the listing click here: XL3VintageClothing.net

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 13: Bon Jovi at Giants Stadium 1989

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No joke: This shirt was $199 bucks on eBay. The auction offered free shipping though, as if that was any incentive to buy a 20 year old, used t-shirt.

Internet, oh Internet, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways! 1) you make it easier to pay my bills 2) you provide me with an occasionally biased, poorly edited, publicly written encyclopedia that has become the Britannica of the modern age. 3) you’ve made it so simple to find pornography at little or no cost to millions of men around the world (and excessively horny women…you know who you are!) 4) Where would we be without social networking sites? Actually speaking to each other on the phone, or better yet interacting with someone IN PERSON? OK, so the Internet is a blessing, but it’s also a curse because now we rely on it like a drug.

Above all of the aforementioned reasons why I love the Internet, the reason I love most is that we can find cool shit that isn’t for sale in any store, not even a thrift store or a flea market. You see, there are just some things that no one in their right mind would actually sell to you in person. That is where the Internet comes in. Places like eBay, Craigslist, and other auction sites have afforded us the opportunity to buy entire series bootlegs of TV shows that will never have even a minute chance of getting an official release. The Internet, and Google has opened up doors for us that lead to toys from our childhood that mysteriously disappeared from our den when we were young, only for us to find out that our father’s got rid of them so we can grow up and become men. You want Castle Grayskull mint in box? eBay! How the f-ck does someone still have that, you ask? Well, I have no idea because I ask myself that same question.

Where do our old hand-me-downs wind up? Remember that Kiss Animalize tour shirt you wore constantly back in ’84? Well, you can buy it on eBay for upwards of $200! Who would spend that kind of scratch on an old ratty, smelly, shirt that’s probably been soaked in someone elses beer puke once or twice? There’s someone out there who will, I guarantee it! Would you spend it on that Bon Jovi t-shirt that you had from their homecoming concert at Giants Stadium back in June of ’89? Even if it was a special shirt produced and sold that night only?

Even at their height of success, Bon Jovi was never known to have the best concert t-shirts. Proving that statement is the Jovi tee pictured above, created for their ’89 concert in East Rutherford. The graphic on the front of the shirt begs to be discussed. The first noticeable flaw is that Jon Bon Jovi is clearly not “Giant-Man: the all Mighty and Powerful Rock God.” It’s not humanly possible that all 5 foot 5 of Jon Francis could dwarf Giants Stadium! C’mon people! Whoever drew this must’ve been mistakenly drawing Jon Mikl Thor in Rock and Roll Nightmare, because Jon Bon Jovi is not that Herculean. I also had no idea Jon was the Intercontinental Champion, either that or he’s wearing a gold encrusted chastity belt. Dear Jon Bon Jovi, The Sexy Armpit wishes you good luck in defending rock and roll in East Rutherford, New Jersey from all the evil creatures attempting to stop you from playing your concert.

For more vintage, overpriced concert tees check out Power Seller “stormcrow-vintage.”

WWE Hell in a Cell Comes to The Prudential Center

newark,new jersey,wwe,hell in a cell,wrestling

This photo of the Prudential Center appeared on WWE.com today

WWE brings their brutal pay per view, Hell in a Cell, to the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey on October 4th, 2009. The main event of Hell in a Cell takes place in a massive, roofed steel cage. Stars from Raw, Smackdown, and ECW will compete at the event. The last time WWE broadcasted a live pay per view from New Jersey was Summerslam 2007 at the Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford, which wasn’t as impressive as I hoped. I’m sure Hell in a Cell will squash the lame aftertaste Summerslam ’07 left.

Tickets go on sale this Saturday morning through Ticketmaster, but you may have been one of the lucky people to get in on the pre-sale that happened this week. The Sexy Armpit will be ringside for Hell in a Cell, the first ever WWE pay per view event to emanante from the 2 year old arena.

The Prudential Center shares a common nickname associated with WWE, “The Rock,” is not only Dwayne Johnson’s former moniker, but also refers to The Prudential Center as well.
For more info check out the official press release at The Prudential Center’s website.

No Doubt Will Kick Off Tour in New Jersey!

No Doubt Borgata Atlantic City
To the dismay of Anaheim, California, No Doubt will kick off their ’09 tour at the Borgata in Atlantic City NJ on 5/2! A day later, they’ll also be headlining the 2nd day of the Bamboozle music festival at the Meadowlands in East Rutherford NJ!

No Doubt - King of the Hill
To celebrate No Doubt picking NJ to start their trek, The Sexy Armpit has grabbed screen shots from the bands animated appearance on King of the Hill! The episode “Kidney Boy and Hamster Girl: A Love Story,” aired on May 13th, 2001.

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Gwen Stefani is hot even in animated form
The ‘toon version of No Doubt performed at Arlen High School’s prom. Throughout the episode, their songs “Ex-Girlfriend,” “Don’t Speak,” and “Bathwater,” can all be heard.

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Tom, Tony, and Adrian
No Doubt will also be appearing at the PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel, NJ on 6/26!

Classic WWF/WWE Event Cards from New Jersey #4

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Sundays depress me. I know Sunday is a religious day and it’s supposedly reserved for rest and relaxation (lazy Sunday Mr. Pibb & Red Vines=crazy delicious). But, ever since I was a kid, I was never a fan of Sundays because I knew I had to go to school the next day. Even now, Sunday signals the end of an all too short weekend. Of course, I preferred going to wrestling events on a Saturday if possible, but if completely unavoidable, I was game for driving up to the Meadowlands for a WWE event. Oh, who am I kidding? I called in sick to school so I could go with my cousin and our moms to the Wrestlemania 11 press conference in New York City. Every day is a good wrestling day. Today we’ll take a look at the event card from the WWE event that took place on Sunday December 12, 1993 at the Meadowlands Arena in East Rutherford, NJ.

After his stint as “The Narcissist,” an injury forced Luger to get a metal plate implanted in his forearm. Surgery lead to Luger’s return to the ring, touting a new finisher – the running forearm smash. The WWF shaped Luger into an All-American hero, even slamming the 600 lb Yokozuna on the USS Intrepid. From then on Luger seemed to have been strictly pitted against “foreign” opponents. Much like Smackdown’s Russian monster Vladimir Koslov, Ludvig Borga was a Finnish powerhouse. What do they both have in common? They’re both boring as hell in the ring and lack versatility. Not to say that big, boring guys like them don’t serve a purpose, because they do. There’s always a need for heels, especially international ones!

The Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Crush feud was still raging since Crush’s heel turn. Savage and Crush were to mend their differences on MNR but it lead to Crush turning on Savage and then pressing him over his head and dropping the Macho Man’s face onto the steel barricade. Savage supposedly lacerated his tongue which sparked their heat up big time. Crush joined Mr. Fuji’s stable which also consisted of the late Yokozuna. Crush was also under the tutelage of Fuji during his time as the 3rd member of Demolition. Savage and the late Crush were actually good friends outside of the ring which translated into their great ring chemistry.

R.I.P Bam Bam

Believe it or not, I always liked Adam Bomb even though his “nuclear” gimmick was fairly droll. (Can you tell that I was a member of the “Bomb Squad?”) Bomb was better as a powerful heel, and when compared to guys like Borga, Adam Bomb was a ring impresario (not saying much). You’ll probably kill me for writing it, but I enjoyed NJ native Scott Levy’s work as Johnny Polo more than his persona as Raven. Presently, I yearn for the days of managers with a big personality and Polo was one that recalled the ’80s state of manager greatness. Polo was also funny on the mic when commentating matches. Nowadays, WWE lacks colorful personalities and Polo was exactly that. Ramon (Scott Hall) was unstoppable at the time. Even though he was a veteran in the business, he was basically new to the WWF except for a short run in the ’80s. After the 1-2-3 Kid beat Razor Ramon in a fluke on MNR, they teamed up a few times foreshadowing “The Clique.” It may have seemed like an odd tag team match but at the time, I remember this being really exciting match. The Kid matched up well with Polo while Razor and Bomb was even a decent matchup on it’s own.

A serviceable match, Jannetty vs. IRS held the crowd’s attention. IRS was a master at generating heat with the crowd. He grabbed the mic and started ripping into New Jersey, the swamps the Meadowlands were built on, and how we all evade our taxes. After a career in Michaels’ shadow, it was almost impossible for Jannetty to rise above his former partner. Jannetty was always an excellent performer with superior skills and awesome charisma. It’s a shame that his career didn’t take off like Michaels’ did. It’s also good to see Mike Rotunda making occasional appearances as I.R.S in the last few years since he’s working as a road agent for the WWE.

When M.O.M promos were being shown each week during WWF programming I doubt viewers had any clue they’d show up wearing glittery purple outfits. In video montages, Men on a Mission seemed liked they would have way more of an edge, sort of in the same vein as Cryme Tyme. Prior to their WWF stint they worked as heels, but M.O.M wound up debuting in the WWF as a far different team. With their rapping manager Oscar, Mable, and Mo were a consistent part of WWF TV for a few years. Mabel returned to the WWE and eventually became Viscera and subsequently, Big Daddy V before being released.

Virgil vs. Rick the Model Martel. Not much to say about this one, but I still maintain that Virgil needs to get his ass back into a WWE ring to take revenge on DiBiase by beating his son.

Overall, the WWF was far from experiencing a renaissance, but it remained entertaining. I have so many fond memories of the years prior to the “attitude” era. In the mid to late ‘90s, WWF house shows in NJ had low attendance and on this night, the Meadowlands was only a little more than half filled.

It’s Anybody’s Meadowlands

I read a story in our local paper yesterday that Continental Airlines is ending their deal with the Meadowlands arena in East Rutherford. They will no longer have their logo on the top of the building. The NJSEA is taking bids from all different companies to see what company the arena will be named after next. It took ten years for people to finally start getting used to calling it Continental Arena and now it’ll probably be something whacked out like Iams Dog Food Arena, or The Marlboro Lights Arena. Wait, shouldn’t a beer company own it!?!

“Welcome everyone to the Budweiser Arena in New Jersey, we’ve got a great game tonight for you the Nets vs. the defending Champions San Antonio Spurs! This season it’s a bit different though, every game the inside of the entire arena will be filled with BEER! That’s 37,693 gallons of BEER, not even your grandmother could throw that back! How will the players play while submerged in BEER? We’ll soon see as we go court side for the tip…”

Soon the N.J Nets will play at the Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn N.Y. What’s with teams playing in different states? (The New York Giants play in New Jersey and now the N.J Nets will be playing in New York! I think it’s all scam to try to get people to take mass transit and pay tolls when going to the games.) $400 million over the next 20 years will give Barclay’s Bank the rights to plaster their name to the top of the building. I understand that teams need the revenue but I can’t stand the fact that the winning bidders never truly have much in common with a sports or entertainment event at all. It’s purely done for exposure.

I think the advertisers bidding should at least have to correspond to the events or the sports held there in some way. I don’t care if it’s Nike or Gatorade, but it just seems to make more sense than a bank. A Continental Airlines sign on the top of the arena made sense since Newark airport is not far away and if you’re flying over the arena you’ll see the sign. Having an airline adverrtise seemed like a good idea since players and fans use airlines to travel to games. To some extent, I’m ok with venues like the Verizon Center. Since many people around the world use cell phones or Internet service, they apply. Through their service, sports/entertainment information can be accessed and tickets can be purchased.

The NJSEA actually asked former governor and one time namesake for the building, Brendan Byrne, if he and his family wanted to place a bid. Luckily, he replied with a definitive “No.” I don’t know how much money he has but I doubt he’d be able to compete with even the lowest bid. After all, he’s got a freakin’ N.J state forest named after him isn’t that enough? What company do you think should win the bid?