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MTV’s JERSEY GORE: Fist Pumping Zombie Guidos With Ripped Abs

Posted on August 4, 2011 by sexyarmpit

MTV’s Jersey Shore is about to jump the shark. The fourth season premieres tonight and it was all filmed in Italy. Oh, and Deena is now an official cast member which just means she’ll be stripping for any guy in Italy who pays attention to her. So, after spotting this JERSEY GORE pin at the last Monster Mania in Cherry Hill, I had an idea. This pin, which was for sale at the Bad Zombie/NJ Zombie Walk table, made me think of how much better the show would be if the cast all got turned into zombies.

The cast’s lame fights and corny, sappy romances would be elevated to a much more entertaining level if they were all part of the undead. I for one am frigging sick to death of all of Ronnie’s crying and whining about Sammie. F*ck that. If they were zombies I don’t think they’d really give a shit and I don’t think they’d do very much talking either so it’s a win-win. I’d love to see them all show up at a club down the shore with their jaws hanging open, eyeballs all white and glazed over, and their once artificially tanned bodies have decomposed into pale rotting flesh. No need for G.T.L anymore!

At the very least, I think it would be a great idea for the show to film a Halloween episode at the Asbury Park Zombie Walk since it’s a huge record setting deal. That would beat out an entire season’s worth of episodes from Italy. One question though, can walking corpses still maintain ridiculous abs?

Blue Jersey and Boardwalk Ice Cream Sundaes

Posted on July 9, 2011 by sexyarmpit

From The Ice Cream Bar at the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City

The above sundaes are offered at the new Ice Cream Bar at Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. Blue Jersey is inspired by the fact that Jersey is known for its blueberries, but there’s just too damn many blueberry things involved in that sundae. You have to be an absolute blueberry freak to order that. The second one is The Boardwalk sundae which sounds way too sweet to me but would probably appeal to a tween who is obsessed with Katy Perry. Being that it’s inspired by the boardwalk they forgot to throw in muffin tops, fried Oreos, and drizzle on some Ron Ron juice.

I’m not trying to say I’m Martha Stewart or Good Housekeeping or anything, but one of the most fun things as a kid was when my parents let us make our own sundaes at home. On rare occasions my parents set my sister and I up with all the toppings on the kitchen table and let us go to town making our own ice cream monstrosities. Mine was usually more gross and ridiculous than my sisters was, and I never wound up finishing it, but the fun was in the process. My sisters was always logical and neat while mine was just a mess of everything available and it looked like something Scooby and Shaggy would devour after they inadvertently solved a mystery. This makes me wonder, what would be your perfect custom made ice cream sundae?

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 59: Sharks Rugby

Posted on July 28, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Here’s a tee of the rugby team that was originally called The New Jersey Sharks, but is now known as the Bucks County Sharks. They moved to P.A and they made New Jersey short one rugby team. “What’s one less rugby team?” I always say. But meanwhile, in another part of the Garden State, there was another rugby team also called The Sharks, but these were The Jersey Shore Sharks! These guys were around longer than the other Sharks, and no, they don’t replace the Gatorade with Ron Ron Juice. So, in the end, New Jersey remains successful in filling it’s quota of having at least ONE rugby team named after Sharks!

If you read the history section of The Jersey Shore Sharks website, you’ll see that they are living up to the Jersey reputation. You’ll read more about drinking shots, starting fights, naked bodies, and wet t-shirt contests than you will about their games. That’s the way it should be, because I’m sure getting involved in rugby is all about the after parties and the travel games anyway.