Mary Horror Hysteria: Indie Horror In Bernardsville, NJ on Tuesday!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8HFDaHcvEo?rel=0]
MARY HORROR is showing on Tuesday November 20th at 9 PM 
at Clearview Bernardsville Cinema – Admission is $5 Bucks!

All these lame horror clones that make it to theaters not cutting it for you? They’re all crap if you ask me. I haven’t been satisfied with mainstream horror output in years. Setting my sights on indie horror has yielded much more entertaining results. Indie horror out of New Jersey is even better, it must be something in the water, or better yet, the tomatoes! The most recent film out of Jersey that I had the chance to check out was Mary Horror, a Ryan Scott Weber production. For horror fans, this film literally has it all: murder, a psychiatric hospital, a witches spell book, and someone even loses and eyeball!

Synopsis from the Official Mary Horror website:
Mary Horror is a normal high school senior who has just moved from Salem, Massachusetts to a small corrupt town in New Jersey. Mary’s life has not been going the way she planned. Her grandmother has passed away, her best friend Kelly has been missing for almost two weeks, and she suspects her boyfriend of cheating on the eve of her homecoming dance. A distraught Mary comes home to witness her family being brutally murdered. Being the only one to survive, she is put in a psychiatric prison to be “protected.” As two years pass by, Mary realizes what really happened that night wasn’t what she thought. As the plot unravels, so does Mary. Her time in the ward has changed her into something evil, a member of the walking dead. She realizes the truth and takes revenge on the town and on everyone that wronged her. Follow the life of Mary Horowitz, as she becomes Mary Horror!

Mary Horror exhibits some of the most technically sound independent film work I’ve seen. Writer/Director Ryan Scott Weber and cinematographer Ryan Coyle soar when it comes to shot composition and incorporating the subtle lighting and Jersey exteriors. Since the movie was filled with interesting settings and the use of real locations such as a hospital and Bernards high school, it all contributed to the realism of the film. The filmmakers were able to build the viewers anticipation as they used their production techniques to suck us into a world that we all could relate to – high school. But that’s only the beginning before things spiral out of control for Mary Horowitz. Yes, I said Horowitz…you’ll see.

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The actors took their jobs very seriously and it was clear that they were all in sync with Weber’s vision for the film. Susie Duecker, the actress who played Mary Horror herself, was quite good. It was fun to watch her become so involved in her character. Her transition from typical high school girl to an extremely unhinged one was ghastly and sublime. In my book she really understood the character which is a delicate balance since another actress may have gone on screen acting like a complete over the top psycho and that wasn’t the idea. Credit must also go to Ryan Coyle for the makeup as well as the crew in the costume and wardrobe department. Duecker was creepy as hell when she officially became Mary Horror. I only wish mainstream horror filmmakers could take the hint that simplicity can leave such an impression and we don’t need to see an hour and a half of lame CGI for the film to be unnerving.

The kickass makeup and practical effects were not used frivolously. The film has an old school horror flair, and although it doesn’t take itself too seriously in some scenes (like the one where Weber himself plays an EMT who beats up his co-worker while being interviewed on TV by a reporter) it still retains it’s spookiness. Without a huge budget, Weber managed to use subtle lightning and dutch angles to create the eerie atmosphere of the film. I especially dug a scene that utilized a strobe lighting effect as Mary was about to “interact” with 2 other characters. What tied it all together like The Dude’s rug was the cinematic quality of Scott Vincent’s score. Some parts were so triumphant and joyful, but still sent the message that all is not going to be well.

Without giving too much away, murders take place in the town of Bernardsville, NJ and it creates a hysteria all over town. I’ve always liked that aspect of horror movies when the whole town is petrified of a killer or going crazy acting like animals because all hell has broken loose. That’s captured and mentioned in Mary Horror and now life will imitate art as we have the chance to see a showing of Mary Horror in a Bernardsville movie theater as if we were actually IN THE FILM! The cast and crew will be there and so should you!

Mary Horror is filled with cool cameos. Some of the quick scenes were filmed at Monster Mania while others were full on roles! You’ll see Patricia Quinn, Troma’s Lloyd Kaufman, Jersey girl and Bernards H.S graduate Deanna Russo, as well as a hilarious cameo from Ghostbuster Ernie Hudson in the film.

Up next from Weber is the sequel to Mary Horror, Sheriff Tom vs. The Zombies. You can see the preview to this if you go to the showing in Bernardsville on 11/20!

Popsic Art For The Holidays!

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Use coupon code thesexyarmpit10 at

*Holiday Gift Idea Alert!*

Often I just cruise around the Internet searching for Jersey related paraphernalia. Occasionally I find some really cool items. A while back I was browsing Etsy and I found Joshua Zaitz’s POPSIC ART based out of NJ. His 3-D style art is colorful and has an cartoonish vibe which appeals to me. What I thought was cool was that among a host of pop culture pieces, his online store offered several iconic Jersey related prints like Springsteen, Asbury Park’s Tillie, and the Atlantic City skyline. Popsic Art makes a great gift for an office, den, or game room.

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At Chiller last month I had the chance to meet the man behind Popsic Art. Joshua is awesome and he set up The Sexy Armpit with a discount code for our readers to utilize in preparation for the holidays – THANKS JOSHUA! Browse around his store and I’m sure you’ll find something perfect for a gift and yourself at the same time.

Use the coupon code thesexyarmpit10
for 10% off your entire purchase. This offer is good until 11:59 PM on 11/30/12.


Joshua Zaitz creates 3D Pop Art featuring vibrant colors, fun themes, and a fresh look at some of the most beloved icons we’ve all grown up with. Each piece of art offers viewers a unique 3D experience. Hand-cut pieces are glued layer by layer to the background picture. Since every piece of artwork he creates is hand-cut, constructed and embellished differently, collectors of his artwork each receive a unique piece of art. 

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New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.71: The Oranges

The Oranges
Our featured writer N.J Holden is back and this time around 
he’s providing his thoughts on the 2011 film The Oranges
This is what happened when House and Gossip Girl visited The Oranges (Well, sorty of). With fall comes not only the changing of the leaves and temperature, but a crop of films, from the ones that litter the multiplexes like poppies on a bagel to the smaller fare that fly under the radar. The Oranges has just opened in limited release in theatres scattered about the Garden State, and one should think that New Jersey would be proud. An acclaimed cast led by everyone’s favorite angry doctor House and a semi-serious look at the middle aged would be cause for celebration. But aside from the cast, the film is probably the first pro-Jersey film NOT filmed in Jersey. As witnessed by the end credits, New York stands in for nearly the entire film save a fleeting glimpse of the Atlantic City Boardwalk and the nice hand-painted sign that welcomes the visitors to the Oranges. But regardless, one should find time to check out this rare oddity.

David and Paige (Hugh Laurie and Catherine Keener) and Terry and Cathy (Oliver Platt and Allison Janney) are neighbors on the same block in the NJ suburbs of the title, both well to do and constantly enthralled with the latest gadgets on the market. But when Nina, Terry and Cathy’s free-spirited, nomadic daughter, Nina (Gossip Girl Leighton Meester) returns home after a failed relationship, everyone’s happy existence is thrown into chaos. David and Paige’s daughter Vanessa (Alia Shawkat) is embittered by her sheltered life and fleeting dreams of being a designer and their son Toby (Adam Brody), who was thought to be a perfect fit for Nina, is conflicted when the free spirit instead finds a kinship and romance with the older, but miserable, David. What ensues is a comedic look at how marriages survive and wither as well as an insightful look into how happiness eludes people in favor of normalcy and comfort.

New Jersey (despite not being shot in NJ) is shown in an appeal not seen in a certain shore show or long-off-the-air Mafia cable drama. The Oranges is an idyllic, decorative suburb with manicured lawns and a Rockwell-esque appeal that demonstrates that the Garden State is far more beautiful than it is given credit for, and kudos to the production team for finding locations that fit the state without making it too much of a distraction. It is odd that the film, while nowhere near a big-budget noisemaker, could not be filmed at least in a nearby location such as Montclair or Verona, towns that could easily fill in for the Oranges. But the film survives due to the appeal and witty exchanges between the characters, and Meester actually does a lot to distance herself from the bitchy society girl on Girl and makes you feel for and against her devil-may-care character who is far from the typical whore found in such fare, just a girl falling into unfortunate situation after situation. Another standout is Keener, a wife trying to (and ultimately, in hilarious fashion) put on a brave smile while her happily framed life falls apart all around her.

So, instead of the usual fare that is soon quickly forgotten just as soon as it has arrived, give The Oranges a view, a great Jersey film that isn’t and wasn’t at the same time.

by N.J Holden

The Sexy Armpit Turns 8!

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Since Hurricane Sandy hit, things have been stressful around here. Many friends and readers that I know through this blog have e-mailed me to see if I was O.K. That means more to me than anything. Thankfully, I am O.K. But, now is definitely not the time to be celebrating. My heart goes out to those who lost loved ones and had their homes destroyed. We’ll make a comeback, we always do.

Thank you. Seriously. If you’re reading this post you’re either a reader who stops by occasionally or someone who stumbled onto this site via a Google search for pictures of Elisabeth Shue’s ass. Regardless of why you are here, I thank you. It’s been 8 years since I started this site and what makes it all worth it is that there’s people that stop by to look around. There would be no point in doing it without you!

You’ve probably noticed that I’m more of a casual blogger. In the history of the site I’ve always tried to post at least a few times a week and for the most part, I do. There’s always a stretch of a few days where I’m feeling lazy. Once it starts feeling like I have to post something, that’s where it loses all the fun. So, I try to keep it simple. In trying to make sure that the majority of stuff I post about has some sort of underlying New Jersey theme, it actually alienates many readers, and I’m OK with that. That’s the point of this blog, otherwise it would just be a random blog with a funny name. Would I want to read a blog all about Kalamazoo, Michigan? Probably not. But the power of The Sexy Armpit lies in the fact that people come to this site from all over the United States.

“Anniversary of my blog” posts often tout milestones. I could probably list a bunch of awesome things that have happened because of this blog in the past several years, but honestly in the past year it’s been pretty much business as usual as far the actual blog goes. I’m not looking to reinvent any wheel or try to get picked up to write for other sites. I like doing what I do. Whenever I’ve written for other sites it’s taken away time from posting here. But posting every day isn’t proving anything to anyone and it’s not practical for me.

Plans for the future of the site are more than just writing posts. Putting up more of The Sexy Armpit shows for you to enjoy at our YouTube channel is what I’ll be concentrating on in the coming months. The posts won’t stop though, so please keep coming by!

Until then, follow me on Twitter @sexyarmpit and Subscribe to us on www.YouTube.com/thesexyarmpit

There’s several people I want to thank so I’ll give you a short list and if you’re not listed just know that I greatly appreciate all of your help!

@MissSexyArmpit
@LipsnCigs
@TheDirtyPearls
@NerdLunch
@ExiledinNJ
@RoadsideWonders
@BrianDonohue

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 103: Restore The Shore

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TEXT REDCROSS to 90999 on your phone or
 visit The American Red Cross Donation Page to make a donation.

We don’t waste a minute here in Jersey. Well, I sure as hell can waste minutes, but the state as a whole didn’t even wait for Hurricane Sandy to be over to start formulating plans to Restore the Shore. It’s already a well known catchphrase. So many people lost their homes and nearly 30 people lost their lives in New Jersey alone during this colossal storm. The damage along our coast is so extensive that it will take so much time and labor to get it to look remotely like how we are used to seeing it. We’ll need all the help we can get!
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Immediately several companies jumped in to lend their help. Local independent t-shirt and graphics companies took to the Internet to sell t-shirts featuring original designs that would donate all proceeds to the American Red Cross Hurricane Sandy Disaster Relief effort. Some of the various tees are shown here in this post, but there’s even more floating around. Beware of knockoffs and companies that don’t seem like they are on the level. Some sites are scams capitalizing on this disaster – while many of them are totally legit and up front about where the money is going. Do some research before you buy! The ones listed below are the real deal!

Halloween In A Hurricane

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Halloween actually took place today in many parts of New Jersey. Not to jump the gun, but I have to make a Christmas reference. After all, this is truly a belated Halloween post. You know when Springsteen talks at the beginning of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town?” The line “the wind’s whipping down the boardwalk…” reminds me of Saturday October 27th, the night we celebrated Halloween. On the Atlantic City Boardwalk though, it wasn’t calm before the storm.

Down on the A.C boardwalk Miss Sexy Armpit and I were all dressed up for some Halloween fun. The night was chilly, the sand was blowing wildly off the beach right into our eyes, and the wind literally swept us into A.C’s newest resort, Revel, to hang out at their Royal Jelly club. We knew that the impending Hurricane Sandy was on it’s way, but this was just amateur night, the real thing wouldn’t hit until Monday night. Meanwhile, speaking of amateur night, at Royal Jelly, the costumes were optional, but most of the attendees did actually come in costume. I think that if you go out on Halloween weekend it should be required that you walk around with a costume. I was pleased with everyone’s participation.

Not many of the people in the club that night displayed the same kind of dedication we do to Halloween. We carefully pieced together our costumes, and took a lot of time and effort as always to make sure we looked excellent. This year I had an inkling of what I wanted to be for several months, but I wasn’t 100% sure. I’m usually all geared up to create a costume and wear it out somewhere to celebrate my favorite time of the year. This year I was apprehensive because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to pull off the costume. With the help of Miss Sexy Armpit, all of that was squashed because as usual she did my makeup and worked her magic on my wig. And in return, I helped her decide what she should dress up as.

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This year I dressed up as the Johnny Depp version of Barnabas Collins from Dark Shadows while Miss Sexy Armpit dressed up as Draculaura, the Monster High Doll. Being one of the only people I know who enjoyed the new Dark Shadows movie, I knew while I was watching it in the theater that I wanted to be Depp’s Barnabas for Halloween. I also thought it would be neat for Miss Sexy Armpit to be a Monster High Doll, not only because I dig them, but also because there wouldn’t be many adults dressing as one of them. She picked her favorite character and went with it full steam ahead.

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We left Atlantic City on Sunday. The very next day the tri-state area was obliterated by possibly the most destructive hurricane to hit our area in history. You’ve seen the photos and news reports. People were killed and people’s homes have been destroyed. On a personal note, the majority of our favorite places to go all along the Jersey shore have simply been annihilated. Even before we knew about Sandy coming to town, Halloween this year didn’t have that same feeling for us. It sort of felt like things were slightly off kilter. If that night happened to be the end of the world, it was exactly the way we would’ve wanted it to go down: all dressed up in our Halloween costumes and ready for anything.

*Donate to the American Red Cross Disaster Hurricane Sandy Relief fund  or text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 dollar donation.

Nerd Lunch Halloween Special!

Nerd Lunch PodcastMy goal in life at this point is to become the Alec Baldwin of the Nerd Lunch podcast. I don’t think I’m quite there yet, but hopefully one of these days I’ll be in contention. What can I say, I have lofty aspirations! This time around I was a guest on their Halloween Special which I was very excited to be a part of. For episode 59, C.T wasn’t around, but Pax, Jeeg, Shawn from Branded in the ’80s, and myself discussed both the 1976 Paul Lynde Halloween Special and the 1986 TV movie The Worst Witch. It was a lot of fun as always and let it enhance your Halloween celebration. You can download it from iTunes for free, or go and visit www.NerdLunch.net and catch it there!

Chiller Theatre Recap Fall 2012

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In the midst of the “Frankenstorm” hysteria, nothing could stop the bi-annual Chiller Theatre convention. The guest list was more jam-packed than usual this year, which was a good way to usher in the new Chiller venue. For those of you who have stayed away from Chiller for various reasons, this recap will explain why you may want to reconsider and check out the Spring installment.

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A castle themed exterior seemed fitting for Chiller Theatre. The expo’s relocation to the Sheraton in Parsippany turned out to be positive on all levels. Lines were still long, but not as long and cramped as they were previously. Forget about parking at the hotel, even if you got there early you still had to park across the street. That’s not even a bad thing for a couple of reasons. Parking was free no matter where you parked and at least there WAS parking available. So in some respects this was a positive step forward. If they decide to move again it will have to be to some place really big like Metlife Stadium. (That is sarcasm in case you didn’t sense it.)

Chiller has grown to become such a huge iconic event. I’ve been going since I was a kid and it really has become a mega-con. While Monster Mania keeps with the horror theme, Chiller is more of a pop culture event. All kinds of stars came out this year including Joan Collins, Andrew McCarthy, and Samantha Fox. Dustin “Screech” Diamond was even there. There were rockers, wrestlers, pinup models, and artists, although I was only there to meet one guest in particular this year.

I didn’t think anything could top last year’s Chiller. You might remember when I was sandwiched in between Deb and Hilly from Weird Science. Basically my dream come true since 1985! This year was no exception. Star of Dallas and A Chorus Line, Audrey Landers, announced to yours truly on Twitter that she’d be in New Jersey for the Chiller convention this Fall. I was super excited because she’s one of my main celebrity crushes of all time. Getting the chance to meet her sounded great to me, and of course shopping around the dealer tables is always my idea of a good time.

Once she arrived at her table, Audrey looked literally dazzling in a green sequin dress. She was sociable and looking as radiant as ever. Of course what impressed me more was that she saw my Sexy Armpit T-Shirt and recognized me right away “Hey I know you from Twitter!” she said. Very good memory on her! After taking a photo, we chatted about her having a role in the new Dallas series on TNT, the big Halloween parties she has back home, and the hurricane that’s threatening the area. From there, it was time to do some shopping.

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Director of Mary Horror, NJ’s own Ryan Scott Weber with Kristen Accardi, a star of 
the sequel to Mary Horror, Sheriff Tom vs. The Zombies

I made it into the dealer rooms and met up with Jess Rajs from Gorgeous and Gory. The brand new zombie pinup calendar is OUT NOW! The theme this year is mermaids! Get yourself one HERE. Also, the official launch party is at Roxy & Dukes in Dunnellen NJ on November 2nd so we will see you there! It was also awesome to finally meet New Jersey’s own Ryan Scott Weber the director of 2011’s MARY HORROR, which was showing at midnight on Friday and Saturday at Chiller. Review of this cool horror movie is on it’s way here at The Sexy Armpit, so be on the lookout!

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No Chiller Recap is complete without a run-down of what I picked up. My “shopping cart” wasn’t too full this year actually – I only bought one thing. I actually bought the first thing that caught my eye which was a Lily Munster T-Shirt. I’d never seen this particular one and I wanted it immediately! It was coincidental because my DVR at home was recording the underwhelming Mockingbird Lane at the same time.

That was the Fall installment of Chiller for me. I had a good time with @exiledinNJ and the new venue was cool. If prior Chiller’s left a bad taste in your mouth, I say give it another go in the Spring time. It’s definitely improved on some of it’s flaws.  

Hinting At My Halloween Costume

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Here’s a hint of what my Halloween costume will be this year. Miss Sexy Armpit took this photo of me when we went to the IMAX theater at Tropicana in Atlantic City to see Dark Shadows. This was one of the coolest standees I’ve seen. It was designed specifically for dorks like me who love cheesy photo ops like this. And no, I’m not going dressed as a dude in sunglasses sitting on a Dark Shadows standee.

Monstrous “Frankenstorm” May Hit New Jersey

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Don’t let this hurricane stress you out. Relax. Have a drink.
“Melancholy Monster” by NJ artist Mike Bell

The media is so lame. They’re like your friend’s parents who always tried to say cool and hip things but they just sounded about 8 months behind the times. If you watch the news and read websites and newspapers you may be buying right into the hysteria. I’m not saying I don’t take weather threats seriously, but do we really need to refer to a killer hurricane as a “Frankenstorm??” That is the dumbest thing ever, way to make a mockery of a storm that has already left 30 people dead in it’s wake. Way to go reporters. You’re spin SUCKS…and Frankenstein rules. By the way, this Hurricane has a first name and it’s Sandy. It just so happens that it’s planning to hit the New York/New Jersey area a day before Halloween. Someone doesn’t want the kids in these areas to have any Halloween fun. Halloween was postponed last year because we had about 5 inches of snow. Did Nostradamus predict any of this shit? The weather needs to stop f*cking with Halloween and the media needs to stop being such morons. If you’re in the NJ/NY area, be safe, be cautious, and don’t panic just because the media is telling you to.