sexyarmpit, Author at Sludge Central

KISS Slot Machines Now In Atlantic City, NJ!

Posted on January 22, 2013 by sexyarmpit

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For a while Miss Sexy Armpit and I thought that we’d have to go back to Vegas to play the new KISS slot machines, but this weekend we were proven wrong! It was a big surprise to see them at Harrah’s resort which was awesome.

Visually the machines look badass. The game play itself isn’t anything out of the ordinary, but naturally, it’s KISS-ified. There are a few different bonus games, but after playing 2 different machines, none of them popped up! BOO! One of the neighboring machines had a few bonuses so we were able to check them out. They were pretty cool and showed some concert footage and had you choose from various album covers to unlock more credits or another bonus game. The game plays a few KISS songs. The ones we heard included “Detroit Rock City,” and “I Was Made For Loving You.”

I’m happy that KISS is finally represented in Atlantic City. So far we’ve got Batman, Ghostbusters, The Phantom, Playboy, and now KISS. Not too many more left – I’m pretty happy with the selection!

The New Jersey Oscar Contender that Could Have Been…by N.J Holden

Posted on January 16, 2013 by sexyarmpit

Always on top of his game, our featured writer N.J Holden (@exiledinNJ) uncovers something you may not have known about Silver Linings Playbook.

When Matthew Quick’s debut novel Silver Linings Playbook was published in 2008, I’m sure few envisioned the multi-nominated film that would follow it in 2012. With a dynamite cast (Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro) and a proven director (David O. Russell), it should have been a celebration of the Garden State since the book takes place there. But the film, like so many adaptations, deviated from the source material, most notably moving the characters and plot from New Jersey to Philadelphia. While audiences and the folks at the Academy Awards have applauded and nominated the film for five Oscars (including Best Picture of the Year), I think we should look at the book, a celebration of family, football, mental illness, and New Jersey.

Pat Peoples is a former history teacher who returns from an extended stay at a Baltimore mental hospital to his childhood home in Collingswood, New Jersey. With his wife, job, and home all gone, Pat is a broken man who believes in “silver linings”, or a series of positive beliefs that he holds true to in hopes of winning back his old life. Following a strenuous exercise regiment and reading his wife’s school reading list, Pat tries to rebuild his life while under the care of his emotionally drained mother and emotionally distant, Philadelphia Eagles-obsessed father. In addition, Pat forms an odd relationship with Tiffany, a disturbed person in her own right who blackmails Pat into a dance competition with the hopes of reuniting him with his wife. Pat must also endure his precarious mental state which is always on the verge of snapping, especially by that wicked musician who haunts doctor and dental offices all over…Kenny G! The novel alternates between drama and comedy, with Pat’s humorous attempts at adjusting to life outside the hospital and his dark, growing obsession with finding out why he lost it all, something that he blocked from his mind.

While the movie dealt with all of these issues in a more lighthearted, comedic way, Quick kept the focus on Pat and his quest for the happy ending that eluded him. In addition, the setting would make any native to NJ happy and proud, with its beautiful descriptions of towns and places that people south of Exit 130 on the GSP would recall. The book stays true to the spirit of the Garden State, embracing its quirkiness and tough attitude and love of food. Some have criticized the handling of mental illness; with Pat and Tiffany’s relationship being contrived since both of them are the only ones capable of understanding one another since they are disturbed. But the relationship is only a little bit of the novel, with a majority of it focused on Pat and his journey to a better life, however ludicrous or unrealistic it may seem. So before that day in February when we get to see who will take home a gold statue, be sure to give this book a read and remember that it could have been a celebrated New Jersey film…only if.

– N.J Holden

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.72: Gremlins 2

Posted on January 14, 2013 by sexyarmpit

Clamp Corner would make a great replacement for Xanadu at the Meadowlands

CLAMP: “…This is what I’ve been looking for.”
BILLY PELTZER: “You want to buy it?”
CLAMP: “No I want to build it…for my next project over in Jersey. This is terrific! This is what people want now, the traditional community thing…”

Since we’re in the new year, I bring you a moment from The New Batch. It just makes sense.

It seemed like a bit of a stretch for Warner Brothers and Amblin to pull another Gremlin out of their hat 6 years after the original was in theaters. According to the entry on Wikipedia, they held out until Joe Dante agreed to helm the sequel for them. To me, Dante rules – and not just because he’s a Jersey guy, but mainly because the majority of his work incorporates a few of my favorite things: horror, monsters, and comedy. 1990’s Gremlins 2: The New Batch isn’t quite as incredible as the original, but it’s still so good and isn’t praised nearly enough.

One of other reasons why I enjoy Dante’s films is because he usually makes it abundantly clear that you’re watching a Joe Dante picture. His style oozes out of every frame and his go-to actors always show up (i.e Dick Miller.) Some of his other notable films include Piranha, The Explorers, and one of my all-time favorites The Burbs. The bulk of his films include elements of fantasy and the supernatural as well as throwbacks to old b-grade monster movies.

As much as I want to sing Gremlins 2’s praises, there’s a few things that keep me from fawning over. I love that it’s probably the most prototypical Joe Dante film ever, but I felt that he went slightly too self indulgent with it. It was really more of a straight up comedy, or cartoon come to life, rather than a horror film. The original Gremlins offered a nice balance of horror and dark humor, it was creepy and maintained a tense atmosphere once the Gremlins started showing up. With the Mogwai being such a mysterious and likable little character, it lent a bit of fantasy to the film as well. Once the sequel rolled around it became “how ridiculous could we make these little creatures?” The sequel brought an array of different Gremlins, too many actually. The best one out of all of them is Brain Gremlin. I would love to be friends with him in real life. I wouldn’t have fallen asleep in class if he was giving a lecture when I was in college.

Dante was given full creative control on the project. For a big studio film that’s usually unheard of. The plot was interesting and I think if it built up more of an eerie atmosphere and dropped a few of the gags, the film would have become a classic. Nowadays (even today in fact) you can pick up a DVD copy of Gremlins 2 for $5 bucks on Amazon.

Other aspects of the sequel really stand out. The cast was fantastic, including the often overlooked, Marla, played by future Garden State Playmate Haviland Morris. The film’s score is trumped up and more fun than it’s predecessor, but just as cool and creepy. The opening credits include a sweeping shot of New York City with the Twin Towers in all of their glory. According to IMDB, this happens to be stock footage from the opening of Superman IV.

Even with my minor complaints, Gremlins 2 is an absolute riot and simply a fun film to watch in a very cartoony way. To hit that concept home, Gizmo dances to Fats Domino and the movie even begins with an animated intro with Bugs and Daffy. The original is more serious and offered less slapstick and in-jokes, and I still hold that as my favorite of the two. The big difference is that we get a New Jersey reference in Gremlins 2: The New Batch, courtesy of the billionaire owner of Clamp Enterprises, Daniel Clamp himself.

*Joe Dante was born in Morristown and grew up in Parsippany, NJ.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 104: Fatman on Batman

Posted on January 8, 2013 by sexyarmpit

Today Only at ShirtPunch – FATMAN on BATMAN!

What’s the difference between a Podcast and a Smodcast? There’s one big difference – a Smodcast is featured on NJ icon Kevin Smith’s network of podcasts available on iTunes. One of them happens to be about one of my favorite subjects in the whole world.

You can hear Smith and a Batman related guest discuss all things Caped Crusader on Fatman on Batman. It’s incredibly satisfying to be able to listen to a podcast all about the nuances of my favorite hero hosted by a reputable source such as Jersey’s own Kevin Smith.

Adam West, Arleen Sorkin, and Kevin Conroy have all been guests on the show. I’ve listened to all the episodes so far and the best guest was Mark Hamill. Hamill has been the voice of the Joker since Batman: The Animated Series, and there’s no one more associated with the character than Hamill. This 2-parter was fascinating and if you’re interested in sampling this podcast – I suggest downloading this episode! Smith delves into all kinds of bat-details, so it’s perfect for Batman and Kevin Smith fans alike.

5 Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2013

Posted on January 4, 2013 by sexyarmpit

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQmCib1fgC8?rel=0]

5. Scarlett Johansson on Broadway in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Cats? Hot tin roof? Not so much. Scarlett. Johansson. Yes. Please. http://www.catonahottinroofbroadway.com

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDN3mAdv6rQ?rel=0]

4. Miss Sexy Armpit and I missed American Idiot during it’s Broadway run so we’re going to check it out at The State Theatre in New Brunswick, NJ.

American Idiot
January 29th – 30th
The State Theatre
New Brunswick, NJ

3. MOVIES!!! – Hipsters will have shit to say about this, but I’m looking forward to Oz the Great and Powerful, Man of Steel, This is the End, and yes…The Lone Ranger. Hopefully I’ll be seeing a couple of these in IMAX!!!

2. Wrestlemania 29 at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ. The entire week leading up to April 7th will be filled with festivities such as the WWE Hall of Fame, WWE Fan Axxess, AND Monday Night Raw…all taking place in NJ and NY!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GpAEhXAmDs?rel=0]

1. As far as I know there’s no official date other than “Late 2013,” but…CASTLE GRAYSKULL! If you pre-ordered the most ambitious release from Matty Collector EVER, then you’re in for a treat toward the end of the year! I personally cannot wait.

The Muppet Babies: Bunsen in Menlo Park

Posted on January 3, 2013 by sexyarmpit

Muppet Baby Dr. Bunsen Honeydew in Thomas Edison’s Menlo Park laboratory (scan courtesy of Muppet Wiki) as seen in the 1993 coloring book: The Muppet Babies Visit The 50 States. Thomas Edison is credited with creating the first industrial research lab in Menlo Park, NJ as well as gaining the patent for his advanced version of the light bulb in the U.S.

An animated TV show based on The Muppets sort of defeated the purpose. The magic of the Henson brand of puppetry was what made his characters come alive and leave such an impression on the world. Although they are pieces of felt and feathers, The Muppet characters always seemed to be more charismatic than other random puppets controlled by human hands. Each Muppet’s personality was defined by their voices, their little specific gestures, and subtle nuances. Did the Muppet Babies take that all away?

Sure there’s been famous ventriloquists and comedians, but The Muppets are in class of their own. Animating them into a 2-D children’s cartoon may not have seemed like the most grand idea for a bunch of puppets who previously had their own real-life variety show. Deciding to make them regress to Muppet Babies was an idea that was conceived in one of their live action films and remains way cooler looking ’til this day.

The comparison can be seen in the short sequence of The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984) when we first see the Muppets when they were babies. Using actual puppetry and effects, I always find this part of the film the most fascinating, and much more vivd and surreal than the animated show turned out. I’m sure it was cheaper to make an animated show rather than having to use actual puppeteers. The live action Muppet Babies can also be seen in the holiday special, The Muppet Family Christmas.

Aside from their regression to toddler age and their transformation to 2-D animation, Muppet Babies was a huge success. It’s 8 season TV run is highlighted by winning four consecutive Daytime Emmy’s.

As a kid, I loved watching The Muppet Show and Muppet Babies when it hit the airwaves. But, by 1993, Muppet Babies wasn’t even a blip on my radar, but many kids around the world were discovering it for the first time. Although the show ended in 1991, two years later, merch featuring the characters was still being sold, which indicated that the property was still viable with children. During the ’90s the show enjoyed long syndication runs on channels like Nickelodeon, Nick Jr., and Toon Disney among others. Throughout the mega crazes of Batman and Ninja Turtles, Muppet Babies stuck around for a while. The Muppets Babies had McDonald’s tie-ins and comic books as well as a slew of other collectibles.

In 1993, a coloring book called The Muppet Babies Visit The 50 States was released. It depicted all the Muppet Babies – each in different states across America. You can read more about this coloring book via this link at the Muppet Wiki. By far the most awesome entry is Animal at the top top top top… of the Empire State Building in New York City. Which one was your favorite?

GREAT GEEK GORGE #6: Christmas 2012 Edition

Posted on January 1, 2013 by sexyarmpit

A few friends have asked me what kind of cool stuff I got for Christmas. I told them that in due time they’ll be able to read all about it at The Sexy Armpit. See, that’s the beauty of having a blog. I avoid having to rattle off the same list of things at different times to handfuls of people. I decided to incorporate a run-down of some of the awesome 2012 Christmas gifts I got into one of my favorite columns here, the Great Geek Gorge.

I can’t say that I actually had anything specific that I wanted for Christmas this year, but I did indeed drop a few hints at some items that were bouncing around in my brain.

It’s hard for my family and Miss Sexy Armpit’s family to buy me any kind of media. Buying me a DVD or a CD will usually be futile since I have thousands of them and it will most likely be a duplicate. I’m maturing a bit though. Or should I say I’ve been practicing restraint? I waited on buying The Dark Knight Rises and the WWE’s C.M Punk documentary on Bluray because I knew Christmas was coming up, so I threw that idea out there to Miss Sexy Armpit and her mom got them for me! It was like magic.

Miss Sexy Armpit did a great job picking up cool gifts for me as always. She got me a Batman plush “pillow” and throw blanket. I don’t see how the plush doll is a pillow but maybe since it’s geared toward boys they didn’t want to explicitly describe it as a doll or plush toy. Either way, it’s pretty awesome and I had a similar Superman doll like that but from the Knickerbocker company when I was a kid.

Before I get to the big crowd-pleasers there were a few things that I didn’t ask for, but I was still very happy to receive. First I got an awesome black cross with a diamond in it on a chain as well as a pair of work out pants. There was also an awesome K’nex KISS set, a USB salt rock lamp for my desk, and a knit hat with ear buds built in. Then, there aren’t many other ways to describe it but here it goes – a Coach “man purse,” It’s more like a mini backpack, but really there’s no other way around it. At the end of the day it’s still going to be referred to as a man purse. It’s pretty swank though. It’s a step up from my old TV Guide duffel bag that they sent me for free. I can understand not wanting to be seen in public with a guy carrying that around, especially while on vacation.

For those who know me or follow me on Twitter (@sexyarmpit) I’ve been obsessed with A&E’s Storage Wars for the last few months. I’m not into the other variations on the show, just the original incarnation. My favorite is Barry Weiss – that guy cracks me up. He always puts on these black skeleton gloves before he picks stuff out of lockers and I wanted a pair of my own.

The gloves and the next item you’ll read about were the only items I actually threw out as ideas for Christmas. I was a little sad that I didn’t get the gloves after my girlfriend and I exchanged gifts, but then, soon after, I was ecstatic when Miss Sexy Armpit’s mom got them for me!

One KISS collectible that I always wanted but never got my hands on was a limited edition 24-inch Gene Simmons statue by a budding (at the time) New York toy company called Art Asylum. The statue was part of the full band collection and created in the comic book style of the Destroyer album cover art. When pushed in, the statue’s base plays “God of Thunder.” The 24 inch line was sold at Spencer Gifts in 1999 and they each retailed for about $150.00. Back then it was too pricey for me. Nowadays a full set mint in box would probably go for close to $1,000. although I’m no Toy Hunter. Jordan Hembrough would probably ask $1300!

Around the time their big comeback record Psycho Circus, the KISS craze was on again worldwide. Toys, t-shirts, and comics filled stores like Spencer’s and KISS fans were going nuts buying everything in sight. The 24 inchers were the highest quality figures at the time, but with KISS fans you have to pick and choose what to spend money on, especially back then. There were concert tickets to be purchased, and plenty of other items that I lusted after, so I tried to ignore the most ultimate Gene Simmons figure I’d ever seen. Then, years later, at KISS cons and on eBay, the prices increased a bit.

Aside from my KISS fountain that spews blood out of Gene’s mouth, dubbed “The Gene Simmons Vomitizer” by Sebastian Bach on an episode of MTV Cribs (which coincidentally Miss Sexy Armpit ALSO got for me for Christmas one year), this giant limited edition figure is the Holy Grail of Gene Simmons collectibles in my opinion. It was hot on my mind and I figured I’d tell Santa, Miss Sexy Armpit, or anyone who would listen that I wanted this giant Gene for Christmas. So what if I was 14 years late on the mark?

Miss Sexy Armpit came through and continued to feed my KISS habit! She also came up with the idea to customize a pair of Sexy Armpit sunglasses for me. These are very cool pilot style sunglasses made by a company called Vaunt – check them out! The Sexy Armpit logo and name are etched into the lenses! The company can put anything you want on the lenses so it’s a cool gift idea!

Thank you to everyone who made this Christmas kick ass for The Sexy Armpit!

The Sexy Armpit’s Christmas Address

Posted on December 25, 2012 by sexyarmpit

No The Sexy Armpit isn’t dead. And no, I haven’t given up on the site.

Not too long ago I was getting over a head cold and then I just fell into a lazy funk the past few weeks. It happens to the best of us. Slacking is especially easy at the end of the year. After a pretty f’d up year filled with tough times for everyone comes the shopping, the holiday traffic, and the aggravation that goes along with it. So now it’s time to enjoy the hard work we put in this year, and soak up as much of the quality family time we can.

From my perspective here in New Jersey we dealt with one of the most disastrous hurricanes ever in the U.S. In addition to that, all we’ve heard about this year are heart wrenching news reports on the mass shootings happening around the country as well as reading every single stupid journalistic spin on the “fiscal cliff” that fills our quota for a lifetime. As with every ball drop in Times Square, 2012 started out positive, but definitely didn’t end that way. Whether these things effect you personally or not, these are stressful times. I didn’t even come up with a wish list for Santa Claus like I did last year.

As bleak as this post seems, I’m definitely looking forward to 2013. I’m still attempting to gather a small cast for the rest of the scripted YouTube shows I have in the can. As I’ve stated here in the recent past, I don’t have any lofty goals for this site. It’s not a place where I just post photos that you can find anywhere on the Internet without rhyme or reason and if you don’t see a post for a few days (or weeks) that means I’m not inspired by anything lately. It may sound silly that I refer to inspiration when dealing with New Jersey t-shirts and movie references, but it’s all about motivation, the fuel.

I don’t give a shit about awards, peer acceptance, or credibility. This blog is not a “jumping off point,” and after 8 years I don’t expect to gain anything from it, especially cash. It is what it is, and that is The Sexy Armpit. If you dig it, I consider you a friend and thank you for being on board. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and appreciate every second you spend with your family!

Amy Locane is November’s Garden State Playmate uhh I mean Cellmate!

Posted on November 28, 2012 by sexyarmpit

Ohhh boy have I been keeping this one on the back burner for about 2 years. I’ve wanted to bestow the honor of GSP to Jersey girl Amy Locane for a while now, but there’s no more appropriate time to dub her the first ever Garden State Cellmate than the day she got convicted of vehicular homicide.

While the quality control department here at The Sexy Armpit strives to maintain the proper policies and procedures, sometimes we have to just throw the rule book out the window. I’m in no way commending the blonde actress, a once up and coming star who never rose above supporting roles, for driving drunk and killing a 60 year old woman in a car in front of her. In fact, she probably should serve more than the 5-10 year sentence she will be receiving. But I’m not a judge, I’m a blogger, and I will give her my own sentencing.

Clearly this woman is an idiot. Obviously, Amy is not too bright when it comes to decision making. After drinking at a cast party and then some more at a family barbecue, she got into her S.U.V to drive herself home and eventually crashed into a couple of cars. According to this story at The Daily Record, her blood alcohol level was nearly 3 times the legal limit. If she was at a family BBQ, why didn’t someone offer to bring her home? I’m sure alcohol is never in short supply in that family since Locane’s husband, Mark Bovenizer, owns a liquor store in Princeton.

Regardless of it being an accident or not, the real tragedy here is that an innocent mother and wife was killed. The accomplishments of Locane’s glamorous former career were quickly washed away thanks to her poor judgement. With that said, this post recalls Amy’s glory days one last time before she serves her time in prison.

To me, the pinnacle of Locane’s career and perhaps the role that guys of my generation remember her for the most, is her role in Airheads as Chaz’s annoying, but hot girlfriend Kayla. Years earlier, the glimpses I caught of Locane as Sandy in the previews for the first season of the original Melrose Place were the only reason I tuned in. If I could get the time back that I spent watching those episodes when I was a kid, I would spend them more wisely. What can I say, I was easily distracted by blondes back then.

Vital info from IMDB tells us that Locane was born in Trenton, NJ. She lives in Hopewell, NJ with her husband and 3 children. Some of her other film credits include School Ties, Cry Baby, Going All The Way, and Bongwater among others. Her birthday is coming up in December and she’ll be blowing out her candles in the slammer.

Author: sexyarmpit