Batman on Blu-Ray Giveaway!!!

Posted on by sexyarmpit

To celebrate the kickoff The Sexy Armpit’s DARK KNIGHT COUNTDOWN Fox Home Video has been gracious enough to supply us with a Blu-Ray disc of the original Batman The Movie (1966) Special Edition starring Adam West and Burt Ward to give away to a lucky reader. Batman was released today on Blu-Ray so THANKS Fox Home Video!

HOW TO WIN THE BATMAN BLU-RAY DISC: E-Mail sexyarmpit@comcast.net subject line: BATMAN. Just for fun, try to answer one of the 2 following questions: What was Catwoman’s Moscow Bugle Alias OR answer Riddler’s riddle What’s Yellow and Writes? One winner will be picked randomly and the deadline is 7/20.

I’ve always been obsessed with the ’60s Batman TV series. It’s so bad that I can tell you the episode name, what season it was in, who played each villain, etc. So basically it’s going to be difficult for me to give away the new Blu-Ray transfer and not try to hold onto it for dear life.

As any legit Bat-fan knows, the ’60s live action TV series brought us some cool bat crap but my favorite of all time comes from this film: SHARK REPELLENT BAT-SPRAY! When I was a kid my friend Frank and I made all kinds of accessories for our toy utility belts but the one thing that he never had that I DID was a mini can of Shark Repellent Bat Spray that my dad made for me. Alot of you remember the times that your dad taught you how to spiral a football, throw a slider, or change the oil in your first car. Well, I remember my dad fashioning me a kick-ass aerosol can that would repel sharks in case one decided to “pull my leg.”

In the film you’ll see all the classic villains masterfully portrayed as well as the entire cast of Batman regulars. There’s so many extras on this disc they couldn’t even fit on Commodore Schmidlapp’s yacht!

Features include: Commentary by Adam West and Burt Ward, Isolated musical Score in DTS, several featurettes including: Batman: A Dynamic Legacy, Caped Crusaders: A Heroes Tribute, Gotham’s City’s Most Wanted, The Batmobile Revealed, Batman on Location, original trailers, still galleries, trivia, and lots more! Take a look at one of the featurettes from the new Batman Blu-Ray disc:

www.SexyArmpit.com

Review: The Incredible Hulk

Posted on by sexyarmpit

While many folks schedule their vacations to the Bahamas or Mexico this summer, I base my vacation time off release dates of super hero movies. It’s something I’ve always done, even as a kid. Well, let me correct myself, we weren’t lucky enough to be able to schedule our own vacation time when we were in school but I did it anyway. “Mom, Batman Returns comes out on Friday and I want to take off of school so can you take me?” Surprisingly, my mom was always supportive of that kind of thing. Even as I went through High School I never ditched class, I just had my mom call me in sick. Then my friends (who all pulled similar strings with their moms) and I went to the theater whenever a MUST SEE movie came out. Most of the time it was a Batman movie. You can just imagine how pumped I am for THE DARK KNIGHT! I’ve already scheduled my day off and booked a room in Atlantic City so I can see it in an IMAX theater. To a lot of you those plans might seem a little excessive just to see a movie. The sun, palm trees, a frozen cocktail…a Jedi crave not these things. Today my vacation day entailed a trip to the theater to see The Incredible Hulk. Here’s the recap:

Like so many other people, I was not impressed with Hulk’s last movie treatment in 2003. I was never an obsessive fan of the Hulk like I am with Batman, but I was a loyal fan of the TV show as a kid. That was the type of film I was hoping for when I saw Ang Lee’s version. The latest incarnation starring Ed Norton as David Banner reached such a level of satisfaction for me that I was entirely impressed. Ed Norton and the rest of the cast (Liv Tyler, William Hurt, and Tim Roth) seemed like they rocketed straight out of the comic books and onto the screen.

A couple of my favorite scenes featured the interaction between Norton and Tyler who had such a natural chemistry. One scene involves Betty Ross (Liv Tyler), attempting to nurture the Hulk with her soothing voice while Hulk is going balls out throwing boulders because he just saw some lightning and heard thunder. “It’s OK, it’s only the rain…” she says. In that scene, the relationship between Kong and Ann Darrow come to mind. In comparison, Ang Lee’s version seemed tragic while this rejuvenated Hulk evokes vitality. A Hulk film should not be dull and dreary and this film was the opposite and triumphed because of it. Thankfully, The Incredible Hulk maintainted the drama and action with occasional poignant moments.
Another scene that I adored, and actually laughed out loud, is a scene where David Banner and Betty Ross are taking a cab ride in New York City. The driver is completely reckless and driving like a maniac. Because they’re getting dangerously bounced around, Banner is about to go ape shit. They get out and the ever protective Ross gets irate on the taxi driver kicking his car and calling him an “Asshole.” I couldn’t tell if her character was just trying to protect Banner from hulking up or if the filmmakers were attempting a social commentary on the uptight aggressive nature of New York City? If any place in the world makes you turn into a super pissed off 9 foot tall green monster it will probably be the New York/New Jersey area. Represent.

Fans of the TV series and comic book will not be disappointed because it seemed very much an accurate mixture of the two. You’ll notice many references to the TV series such as Ferrigno as a pizza accepting security guard, Bill Bixby’s on the TV in The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, hints of the old theme song, and of course the Marvel staple Stan Lee is sipping a gaurana soda. Norton even begins to utter “You wouldn’t like me if I’m…” I’ll leave the rest to your imagination if you haven’t seen it yet. You may even hear a “HULK SMASH!!!” thrown in for good measure and a hint at Leader as the next villian.

The film had an excellent pace and didn’t drag, and the action scenes were skillfully created. And like the filmmakers promised, this Hulk film wasn’t bogged down with CGI. Even though Hulk and Abomination were CGI, they looked totally realistic and not like a video game. Hulk especially looked awesome.
If you’ve read articles on the Internet about the film or watched any TV spots, they couldn’t wait to spoil the Tony Stark cameo. I really wish it was a secret because seeing him at the end would’ve been more more of a surprise. But honestly, I was so wrapped up in the film that I totally slipped my mind that Robert Downey Jr. was about to drop in. How exciting will THE AVENGERS be? That one might necessitate a week long celebration, not just a day off!

So far this has been one helluva summer for movies. I’m traditionally let down by “summer blockbusters” but many such as Indy, and Hulk have blown me away. I can’t imagine what THE DARK KNIGHT is going to do to me. It might make me Hulk up and SMASH stuff! Have you seen The Incredible Hulk yet? Did you enjoy it? I’d like to hear YOUR thoughts!
www.SexyArmpit.com

Super Hero Dance Sequences

Posted on by sexyarmpit

OK, so this article is a bit BAT-HEAVY but these entries deserve to be on the list! Feel free to leave a comment with any ones I forgot! I know there’s many others, but here’s the most notable ones…

Spider Man 3 – Upon its release I remember there being quite an uproar that Sam Raimi decided to feature a dance sequence in a Super Hero movie. I’ll sling myself out on a web here and risk my reputation by saying that I actually enjoyed this part of the film. You have to remember that Peter was still in the black suit and it was doing weird primal stuff to his psyche. So naturally, the way that it manifested itself was by jazz dancing with a hot blonde. Who better to piss off your ex-girlfriend with than Gwen Stacy! While jazz dancing! C’mon, lighten up…it was fun.

Smallville actually seemed to have “bit” off Spider Man 3 or “taken the lead” from it so to speak. In season 7, Chloe, one of the best characters in the show, goes and hangs out at a club and heats things up with Jimmy Olsen on the dance floor.
Mystery Men – Perhaps it’s not a classic superhero movie but it was hard to resist. In yet another brilliant role, Geoffrey Rush plays criminal mastermind Casanova Frankenstein. We hear the Bee Gee’s Night Fever, and see the gigundo disco ball hanging from the ceiling while Casanova takes it all in: “Ah The old disco room, just as I left it…” His cohort Tony, played by Eddie Izzard, prances around disco dancing and doing the macarena. He later proclaims “Disco is NOT Dead!”
Plastic Man Cartoon – I don’t know if you’re on board but I had really fond memories of watching Plas as a kid. It was such a fun show! Plas was accompanied by his cute blonde girlfriend Penny, his Hawaiian best bud Hula Hula, and Baby Plas. Here‘s part of the intro of the show where Plas boogies down: “…he can spring…he can stretch..he can fly…he can bounce…he can change his shape…and he can even dance!” Plastic Man doesn’t get enough accolades. He’s one of the better comical super heroes and that combo usually doesn’t work well but it does for him! I always thought Jim Carrey would be an awesome choice to play Plastic Man in a movie.
Batman Returns – Michael Keaton and the super smoking hot Michelle Pfieffer slow dance to Siouxsie and the Banshees’ haunting Face to Face while having the type of conversation I’ve only dreamed of having with Catwoman. “Mistletoe could be deadly if you eat it…A kiss could be even deadlier.”

Photobucket
Batman 1996 TV episode Hi Diddle Riddle – Rules went out the window for Batman in the ’60s. Batman was not only getting a little wacky in the comic books but also on prime time TV. Adam West’s brilliantly dry portrayal of Batman gets alot of flack and it may mostly be due to the fact that he wasn’t afraid to dance the “Batusi.”

Photobucket
Return to the Batcave – Adam West and Julie Newmar get together for old time sake in this made for TV reunion to dance one last Batusi.

www.SexyArmpit.com

Six Flags Dark Knight Coaster: A HUGE LETDOWN

Posted on by sexyarmpit

If you’re into the whole brevity thing and you simply can’t stand my never-ending tangents, then here’s the short version: I’ve had more exciting rides on a compact John Deere Gator. Better yet…I’ve taken my life in my hands on numerous occasions reaching speeds 30 to 40 times faster than the Dark Knight Coaster on my Mongoose BMX bike. And yes, you CAN ride on my pegs.

A new ride at a local amusement park is usually pretty damn exciting. It gives us even more motivation to flock to the park and shell out zillions on season passes, parking passes, hopper passes, etc. This season, Six Flags Great Adventure in N.J capitalized on the popularity of the Batman Begins sequel, The Dark Knight, and threw up a dark ride in it’s honor. Naturally, like any die hard insane Bat-Fan, I needed to ride it.

I got there before the park opened because I knew I wasn’t going to want to stay in line for an hour and a half to ride it. Even though it was the Dark Knight, I don’t have the patience that I used to. Waiting for Kingda Ka was the biggest letdown because we must’ve waited 2 hours for a ride that seemed to last 7 seconds. The anticipation was high judging by how fast everyone sprinted to the Dark Knight as soon as the security guards let down the rope to get into the rest of the park. Don’t you hate it when you’re in a holding pattern in an amusement park waiting for it to open and you realize people actually work there and it isn’t just a fantasy world? There’s guys filling cold cases with soda and iced tea, opening up the doors to the various memorabilia and candy stores, and others are sweeping up. I always thought that stuff was done by the amusement park fairies that live in the old Victorian house at the front gate.

For young park visitors, the Dark Knight is a fun attraction but for the majority of people expecting a thrill ride similar to the Aerosmith Rock n Roller Coaster, they’ll surely be disappointed. It’s the most boring, lame, and uneventful ride in the park. I didn’t have to wait on line, but if you do you’ll wait in what they are trying to make us believe is the Gotham City transit system. The lights are dim and the big screen is showing a press conference with Harvey Dent (actually played by Aaron Eckhart) answering questions about crime in Gotham. Then the lights get even dimmer and the Joker’s catchphrase WHY SO SERIOUS comes on the screen while random Jokeresque quotes scrawled on the walls illuminate. There was a short montage with jolts of James Cagney and melting celluloid that for some reason got me so pumped. We boarded the ride, and not soon after I was deflated. I realized that we rode the majority of the ride and I kept saying “I’m sure it hasn’t even kicked in yet.” Was I wrong! The ride was over and nothing happened.

The Dark Knight “coaster” as it’s called is far from a coaster. It felt like it went about 5 mph!! There’s nothing even going on inside while you’re in you’re little 4 person train. You see some blacklit/florescent markings on the walls to make you think Joker is around, and you hear someone who sounds like Heath Ledger trying to spook you out, but other than that there’s really nothing to the ride.

Leave it to Six Flags to make a shitty ride. They can work wonders with their roller coasters but when it comes to other rides and attractions they suck. They rarely show any creativity and it usually seems like they don’t want to offer a variety of attractions. If they wanted to create a throwback dark ride, why didn’t they make a haunted house? At one time Great Adventure had a haunted house but it burned down in ’84. Check out this great article at Dark in the Park about the old Six Flags haunted castle. I haven’t been to a good haunted house since Castle Dracula.

It seemed like they whipped up the Dark Knight coaster in 6 weeks so I’m sure Six Flags has the means to make the most kickass, scariest haunted house on the east coast. You’ll always hear them bragging on TV with their annoying ads about how much bigger Great Adventure is than Disneyland, and how they feature a safari. Who cares how much land they own? How about concentrating on making Great Adventure an awesome amusement park with awe inspiring rides? Isn’t that the point? Their coasters are kickass but they are seriously lacking when it comes to creating atmosphere. I want to escape when I go to a theme park. I want to be pulled into Metropolis when I wait for the Superman ride, I DON’T want to feel like I’m waiting an hour in the sweltering Jackson, N.J sun by the greasy haired kid dressed all in black, yellow converse, who’s blasting some metal song from his ruby red Razr phone.

With Six Flags association with the WB and DC characters, it’s a shame that they can’t get a grasp on the rides in their parks. How about a Marvin the Martian Space Mission? A Gossamer Funhouse? A Wonder Woman Invisible Jet ride? C’mon people…this is off the cuff here! Imagine what I could do if I really put my mind to it!

I love going on rides like Nitro (my favorite), El Toro, Superman, and The Scream Machine, but they don’t offer much personality. The rides themselves are awesome but what I value is the atmosphere. Six Flags chinces out and they don’t take the opportunity to sweep you into a different world as you’re waiting to go on the ride. That long wait is sometimes excruciating and could be made a lot more interesting. You know what I mean if you’ve been on any ride in Disney World and Universal like Spider Man, and Star Tours in MGM. I want to be transported and be so distracted that the greasy haired kid won’t even make it into my brain because I‘m seriously convincing myself into thinking that I‘m about to rocket into space. Maybe the people who run Great Adventure could go take a ride on Space Mountain, Tower of Terror, or even one of the awesome rides in Universal’s Islands of Adventure. They could learn a thing or two.

Have you gone on any terrible rides? If so, tell us about it!

www.SexyArmpit.com

The Dark Knight Roller Coaster at Six Flags

Posted on by sexyarmpit

Even though since my trip to Hollywood I’ve bashed the hell out of New Jersey, one cool thing we have that I’m looking forward to is the new indoor Dark Knight Roller Coaster at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, NJ. I get a season pass each summer and I’m usually disappointed at the new attractions they feature each year. Hopefully this time around I’ll be in awe of all it’s batty goodness. For all you haters of the first Batman coaster aptly named “Batman: The Ride,” I actually enjoy it. Of course it’s no Superman the Ride, and it can’t hold a candle to my favorite coaster ever, NITRO. I’ll give my thoughts on The Dark Knight Coaster after I ride it but in the meantime, GEEKS OF DOOM, a site I enjoy, has an excellent post on the ride with video.

www.SexyArmpit.com

A Few of my Favorite Movie Scenes

Posted on by sexyarmpit

An excellent horror movie blogger, Final Girl, has inspired many of us bloggers to write a positive piece about films rather than being negative and ripping a film apart. So as part of the Hey, Internet, Stop Being Such Cynical Effing Douchbags Blog-A-Thon I’ve decided to concentrate on certain movie scenes that I always wish I was in. Some arouse feelings of nostalgia, fantasy, or they just look so damn cool. I’ve always wanted to actually experience these scenes first hand rather than just passively watch them.

In 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Kirk Douglas thinks the Nautilus is a sea creature and is about to throw a harpoon at it. The Nautilus was mysterious and it evoked intensity and suspense. The sub, even though it was an extension of Captain Nemo, seemed to have a life of it’s own. Later on we get to see the lush decor on board and I never thought the inside of a submarine could be this cool.
In the 1966 Batman movie, I was seduced by the idea of having poles to slide down into the bat cave. To have an “instant costume change lever” that was actually labelled with its title would be even more awesome. Shit I just used my basement as a low rent bat cave.

Obviously, Labyrinth has a ton of classic scenes and shots. This one really captured the first moment where we see a full view of the Labyrinth and what’s in store for Sarah. When I saw this movie for the first time I don’t think I was old enough to even define the word labyrinth so seeing that Sarah was about to head into a whole adventurous world of mazes and creatures made me want to jump into the screen and join her in the search for her brother Toby.
What I would’ve gave to ride my big wheel around the deserted Overlook hotel while horrifying spectacles are haunting every corner just like Danny Torrance in The Shining.
I take a lot of flak for always referencing Sleeping Beauty as one of my favorite films. The exciting finale featuring Maleficent’s fire breathing dragon (GREEN fire by the way) vividly sticks out in my mind.
The documentary within the movie Boogie Nights is classic. Dirk Diggler’s speech touches on subjects like Napoleon, jealousy, and how he’s “gonna keep rockin’ on.” It’s some of the most eloquent stuff I’ve ever heard! DIRK: “Like my shoes? They’re like this patchwork reptilian pattern design.” I can’t leave out the recording session where they record “Feel My Heat” and “You’ve Got the Touch” which frequently come up in my iPod shuffles.
This scene in Love Actually perfectly captures how every guy feels about a girl at one time or another. You know when there’s a girl you like and she’s with someone else and you desperately want to show her that you could make her happier than the guy she’s with? This guy goes into Bob Dylan mode and knocks on aptly named Juliet’s door. He shows her notes he wrote on poster board expressing romantic sentiments while her boyfriend is sitting on the couch inside. Even though it’s apparent he’s got zero chance, he gave it his best shot. He settled for letting her know truly how he feels. She gave him a consolation kiss. It doesn’t hurt that Keira Knightley looks hot as hell either.

Return to Oz depicts a very different, more realistic Oz than the glistening green skyline we’re used to seeing in the 1939 version. As a kid it was pretty scary after realizing that the whole sparkling city was turned to stone and the wheelers vandalized it. If you’re an adult and you still haven’t experienced Return to Oz, then GET ON IT!
The finale of Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, shows Jack Sparrow once again taking the helm as Captain of the Black Pearl: “drink up me hardy’s Yo Ho!” Then Klaus Badelt’s “He’s a Pirate” kicks in to pump you up.After the kick ass water slide scene, The Goonies kids discover the cou de gras…The Inferno, (One Eyed Willie’s Pirate Ship)…with TONS of rich stuff aboard.
I must have a million more, but for now…what are some of your favorite movie scenes?
www.SexyArmpit.com

The Case of the Perplexing G-String

Posted on by sexyarmpit

This one is “just a quickie” (no pun intended) Yeah right, that is impossible. As I sit in front of the computer I have a tissue stuck up my nose and I’m smoking my fake cigarette. This has been perplexing me for a while now so I needed to get in the mood. Since I started school this past semester in September of ’05 and ended a couple of weeks ago, I realized something about the girls at Kean. There seem to be many girls on that campus who wear G-Strings. I would sit in class and certain girls would waltz in and sit down in the rows in front of me and as they sat down I couldn’t help but see their backside where their G-strings would rise out of their pants and way up to their lower back. These weren’t normal G-Strings either. These had rhinestones, some had frilly doily patterns. Where the hell have I been? Personally, I’ve never been with a girl sexually who ever wore a G-string in my prescence.

I find this contradictory to what I had previously believed. I was under the impression that the majority of girls especially those in college wore THONGS. Am I living in the past? Are the days of Sisquo gone? To be honest – HBO comes to mind…”G-String Divas.” Is this show still on? Do they still make new episodes? I have never even seen it, I just know that they always used to show commercials for it relentlessly. Do you think that this show has anything to do with the upsurge in G-String wearing? Obviously our TV habits have an effect on our lifestyle. But I’m not sure in this case.

TO THE FEMALES READING THIS:

DO YOU OWN A G-STRING?

WOULD YOU WEAR IT ON A NORMAL DAY TO CLASS?

Would you wear it on an everyday basis? Like going to the bank? Is this a little odd? This may be a small percentage of girls. Perhaps I’m losing touch with the youth. After all, girls are having sex waay early at like…age 8 now. Personally, I just think a thong or regular underwear is fine young or old. I think jumping to the G-String definitely means SEX. Once you have that on you are hiking it up a few octaves. I just don’t think its necessary especially when a few of the G-Strings in question were seen popping up from girls jeans. Why do you need to wear one with jeans? I can see if it was a tight skirt, dress, spandex pants…whatever. I can see if you are on a beach in Brazil and everyone has one on. I can see you wearing one if you are Paul Stanley. I can see you wearing one if your butt crack needs a good flossing.

I just don’t know that if I was a girl if I would wear one to a school or work environment unless there was a reason. I can see if you are trying to turn on a co-worker or boss. I can see it if you slept at a boyfriends house and you dressed really sexy for him and then you realized you were late for class and had no time to put regular underwear on or even a thong then you just hightailed it to Kean for your Global History of Skankiness 101 class that you never study for cause you’ve aced all the tests. Maybe it’s extra points for the G-String. I sometimes sat there believing that these girls had a pole in their house and they would wake up twirl around it a few times in their G-String and slide down it and then once they hit the botttom floor their clothes would miraculously appear on them like Batman in the 60’s TV series. They slid down as Bruce and Dick (that sounded so dirty) and then appeared in the Batcave at the end of their poles (dirty again) as Batman and Robin. Frankly that was amazing. Who gives a fuck about G-Strings. I want a fucking Batpole so I don’t have to actually get changed in the morning. And what the hell does the G stand for in G-String? Am I missing something? Gyno? Gash?

www.SexyArmpit.com