ExtraComicular Activities #1: Dave Bullock

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My love of silly puns has has inspired me to bring you a new column here at The Sexy Armpit. All comic book related stuff will now be found under this heading. We’ll take a look at new comic books, comic artists, and the like, but it will somehow connects to Jersey, even in a roundabout way.

In this post we’ll take a look at some artwork by NJ artist and animation director Dave Bullock. Bullock’s old school style evokes images of comics from the ’40s and ’50s and blends it with a modern sheen to infuse his characters with a look that is original and refreshing.

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As we take a look at Bullock’s artwork, his versatility is apparent. I’m sitting here drooling over all of these. The New Teen Titans piece posted above would make an amazing animated series. He captures the ’80s era of the group so well, but yet still makes it look like an extremely viable possibility for a new show. I could also easily see his version of Batman above showing up in the same series.

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Masters of the Universe

Bullock’s illustrious professional career includes serving as director on the DC Animated movie Justice League the New Frontier and several episodes of the Spectacular Spider Man. He’s also worked in the Art and Animation department on more shows than you’ll ever be able to watch in your whole lifetime. Some of the shows that Bullock has worked on are a fan boys wet dream across the board: Transformers, Hulk, Superman, Batman, X-Men, Masters of the Universe, Kim Possible, Wonder Woman, The Avengers, and one of my personal favorites Sym-Bionic Titan.

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I’m not sure of his exact personal influences as an artist, but I do see a lot of Will Eisner and even hints of Steve Rude. Maybe one day we’ll get to speak to Dave about his amazing body of work. Presently Bullock is working on a project for Hasbro, but it’s under wraps. What’s more amazing is that this dude signs his stuff for free if you meet him at a convention! He often makes appearances, so you can keep up with his schedule at his blog FAR-OUT FICTION, which also details the development of his new original graphic novel called The Savage Blade of King Ronok, which looks friggin’ awesome.

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Star Killer Causes a Stellar Explosion in Newark

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[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhnv2vbKVcw?rel=0]

Crime was the least of my worries on Saturday night as I ventured to QXT’s in Newark NJ to check out the NYC industrial metal band Star Killer in their first official New Jersey appearance. Lead singer Jasin Cadic grew up in New Jersey, so putting on a show for us here in his home state was a priority.

For over 20 years QXT’s has been the only club in the area where you could hear new wave, goth, 80s, industrial, and punk all in the same venue. As a lifelong Jersey resident, one of the reasons why I never went to the club wasn’t because of the crime in Newark, it was mostly because I doubted that I’d fit in. I listen to the genres of music that their DJ’s spin but visually I always figured I’d have to show up looking like I was the lead singer in a Cure cover band. But, upon hearing that Star Killer would be playing a show at QXT’s I threw all my apprehensions out the window because I knew I had to see them live. For months and months I’ve been listening to their EP (which is available HERE for a limited time free of charge) on my iPod and looking at a few videos from YouTube of shows that went down elsewhere. It was New Jersey’s time to feel the power of Star Killer live, and damn it was a spectacle.

I was in luck, it was superhero night at QXT’s. Glowing lights drenched the scantily clad Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy who were dancing all up on each other. It seemed like a typical night for them, although there was no trace of Batman anywhere. There were other girls dressed as characters from the film Kick-Ass as well as a couple of female Robins too. Holy supertight latex Batman!

As we arrived at the bar I noticed our female bartender’s costume. “Black Spiderman, right?” I asked her. “NO! VENOM!” she snapped back at me dumbfounded that I didn’t know who she was supposed to be dressed like. The Sexy Armpit cut her some slack and decided that her blood wasn’t made up of geekoglobin like mine and she was probably unaware of the origin of Venom. When she bought the costume I’m sure it said “Sexy Venom Costume” because every costume for a girl is “Sexy,” but this one really looked more like your basic black Spiderman costume from Secret Wars. Too confusing for untrue believers. Nevertheless, she was completely attentive and appreciative of her tips. My partner in crime for the night, Money Marc and I hung out and soaked in the scene until Star Killer finally stormed the stage.

Just before it was announced that the band was about to go on there were a few people who trickled out to the offshoot rooms in QXT’s. They really missed out because Star Killer stunned the crowd. For those in attendance who stayed to check them out, it was obvious from their banging heads and lots of crowd feedback that they liked what they were witnessing.

Star Killer’s aggressive onslaught of industrial metal featured songs that are immediately memorable and always get me pumped such as their single “As The Sky Is Falling.” As he introduced the song, singer Jasin Cadic even gave a shout to The Sexy Armpit for being big supporters of the band which was pretty f*cking awesome of him. The stage was lit up with green lasers and blue and red lights as Star Killer tore into many songs from their EP as well as an incredible cover of Joan Jett’s “I Hate Myself For Loving You.” If you are as unsure about getting into a new band as I was about heading to QXT’s, get over it and download their EP now! Star Killer will definitely appeal to hard rock and metal fans, especially those who are into Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson and Korn. Click Here for our full review of Star Killer’s debut EP 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvQYNy7geXE?rel=0]
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Spider Man on Broadway: Just Turn It Off Already

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Almost 8 months ago I was super excited when I first read about Spider Man slinging his web over to star in his own show on Broadway. There are times when the word impulsive just can’t begin to describe how over excited I get upon hearing news like this. Momentarily I become a little kid again without even thinking of previous disasters like the 1966 musical, It’s a Bird…It’s a Plane…It’s Superman. I wasn’t even on Krypton let alone Earth when some genius let that outrage make it to Broadway. How could Spider Man be as bad as that? We’ve come so far since then, haven’t we? With 3 blockbuster films, an animated series, comics, and toy web slingers, could there possibly be another way of running this Marvel property into the ground? Why yes, as a matter of fact, Spidey on Broadway! Looking back, I have no idea how I didn’t see this disaster of epic proportions looming on the New York City skyline.

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Why the f-ck did I even want to get tickets to this piece of trash anyway? First of all, no offense to the Marvel maniacs out there, but I’m a DC loyalist and have been since 1982. I still enjoy many Marvel characters and their films, but I have always enjoyed the DCU more. I would never EVER want to see any of the DC characters in a musical on Broadway, so hopefully if some marketing guru from DC Entertainment tosses that idea around…GET IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD IMMEDIATELY and then someone give that m-therfucker a swirlie.

So, yeah, I’m coming clean. I did something stupid. I bought tickets the moment they went on sale. Originally my excitement was high for no good reason other than sheer boredom and a lust for fanboy stimulation. There also seemed to be a bit of mystery involved since no details were available yet. Spider Man: Turn Off the Dark (dumb title) was set to premiere on January 16th, 2010. With no info available, I incessantly called Ticketmaster since the transaction wasn’t even appearing in my account history. There was no record of me even purchasing tickets to this crapshow. After several calls, I gave up. (I loathe Ticketmaster by the way.) A few months later, the Internet was buzzing with bad press about the budgetary issues, production problems, and set design perils that the Spider Man musical had run into. This almost sounded as bad as the time those mynocks latched onto the Falcon and started chowing down on those power cables.

The premiere date was pushed to the end of February. I hoped that the new date might give the producers enough time to get their shit together, but truthfully, I started to get fed up when I received an e-mail from terrible Ticketmaster. They wanted me to call them to EXCHANGE the tickets for the new date?!?!?! WTF? Shouldn’t they have just sent me tickets for the new date? I purchased the tickets and now I would risk losing the seats that I bought? That is pure bullshit, but like a shmuck, I called and exchanged the tickets like they asked. The employee who answered had no idea about anything I was referring to. She even snickered when I told her for the second time that I was calling about the Spider Man Musical. Clearly none of the Ticketmaster employees are made aware of postponements or cancellations. When she asked for an order number, I couldn’t even give her one because the transaction didn’t even exist and I was never given an order number, nor did it show up in my account. I was super pissed now. Finally, she figured it out, but the same seats I purchased were no longer available! They gave me seats at the end of the same row, which I settled for.

Today, more articles were published all over the Internet about Spider Man being postponed until Fall of 2010. Many of the news pieces reported that Ticketmaster would be offering refunds at this point. Earlier today I received an automated message on my phone from Ticketmaster stating that I was able to call them for a refund if I desired. If not, I would have to wait for a new sale date to exchange the tickets yet again. As soon as I got home, I called Ticketmaster and asked for a refund. Wouldn’t you know that the jackass who answered the phone had absolutely no clue about anything I was referring to. I told him that I received an automated call and that I was requesting a refund since the show would be postponed for a third time. I’d say it took a good 3 minutes of holding and listening to the same stupid music until he came back and asked more questions. By the end of the near 14 minute conversation full of needless back and forth, I got my refund. Now all I have to do is make sure it actually goes into my account or I’m suing Tickemaster for $200 bucks!

If you’ve been following the continuing debacle of the snowballing Spider Man Musical budget, you probably have a pretty good idea how I arrived at my decision. As of today, the budget is apparently in the realm of $50 million dollars and growing. Maybe I was sucked in by the thought of Edge working on the musical score for the show, or the idea that Mary Jane would be played by Evan Rachel Wood. Why don’t they just take those ideas, and before they shove them up their asses, put them to good use in either another feature film or an animated DVD movie? Considering that ticket sales for plays and musicals have been slumping for the past few years, the question here is…how many of you would be eager to go and shell out $100 bucks per ticket to see a Spider Man musical?

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A Memoir by The Green Hornet

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To whom it may concern:

I never asked for much. I never wanted to be number one, I never asked them for anything. I didn’t have any “wonderful toys”, or crazy bionic-geo-thermal-night-gear-infrared suits. It was a hat and an overcoat, and I even got a little mask to cover part of my face. I got a neat car, no, not the Hornet-mobile, the Black Beauty. Yes, the name sounds like a horse, and it’s considered a “clunker” by today’s standards. It didn’t even talk, or cocoon itself.
Sure my sidekick Kato just happened to be Asian. I have nothing against Asians, but just because of his nationality he thought he was some martial arts “expert”. He was always trying to show off, making me look like a total incompetent tool. You might know Kato from “The Kato Show” oh no, wait…that’s what my show “The Green Hornet” was called in Hong Kong. Villains? Rogues Gallery? No such thing. It was about as exciting as a bank tellers banquet. No one with face paint, split personalities, serum injecting psychos, and especially no crazy reptiles. No, there was no Hornet-signal to light up the night sky, but I owned a newspaper, The Daily Sentinel. Excitement personified.
My great grand uncle was the Lone Ranger. Do you know how hard it was living in his shadow? The man carried silver bullets! He was a legend and they made him hang out with an angry Native American. Wow, aren’t we a stereotypical bunch! Tonto must’ve been some prick though, always poking fun at L.R calling him “Kimosabe”. I’da belted him one. That wasn’t too long before Wayne Enterprises bought the Daily Sentinel and re-named it the Gotham Globe. Publishers revolted: “Britt Reid’s not cool enough to own a newspaper.” (direct quote)
Apparently I wasn’t cool enough for DC comics, who wouldn’t even touch me with one of Penguin’s umbrellas. Marvel said let’s tell Stan about him and see what he could do with him. The next month SPIDER MAN debuted in the comics, that’s how effed up Stan is. I finally signed with now-defunct NOW comics, the publishers of the ever popular Ralph Snart, Married with Children, and Robocop titles. (among other quality books)
What about show biz? Hollywood you ask? Well, when my glory days of radio were over, my TV show wasn’t fun and exciting enough so they teamed us up with Batman and Robin. Those caped clowns were gayer-than-gay in their leotards. I was so much more of a bad-ass. You’ll notice in that episode I was such a hardcore outcast compared to the others. I got no respect. They were in talks to make a movie starring GREG KINNEAR playing myself, but it never got off the ground. Not enough “Flash and Balls” they said. I said, Eff ’em. I don’t need them. But the franchise and merchandising rights alone would’ve made me rich beyond my wildest dreams.

God knows I haven’t been in a film since they re-created a scene from the TV show for “Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story”. As of now the Green Hornet film is in limbo and the licenses and options belong to Miramax. Last I heard Seth Rogen was writing a script about me. I’ll remember him in my will since by the time he finishes the damn thing I’ll be dead. Chances are if Seth Rogen writes the script, the movie will be about how some old time pothead radio announcer, who couldn’t pronounce his “R” sound, began calling me Bwitt Weed instead of Britt Reid. One of my tag lines that shows up in the teaser trailer will probably be “They don’t call me the GREEN Hornet for nothing” as I exhale a cloud of green smoke which also doubles as a sleeping gas that I use to fight criminals. Maybe I should just write the damn thing? (sswswswswsw whispers…..WAIT WHAT? They want Seth Rogen to play ME?”) What a joke. Why don’t they just kill me on the spot and cast Jonah Hill? Whatever, f-ck it. They won’t listen to any of MY thoughts on who should play me! After all…who knows me better than me??? TED “JEFFERSON” MCGINLEY BITCHES! If we’re going to make this funny then we may as well go for the gold here.

Oh and for those who’ve been pretending to care about what I’ve been doing lately then here it goes: For the last six months I’ve been living with Big Aunt Bertha. The sad part is she’s not even my aunt. I’m not even related to her. She’s a prostitute. I couldn’t pay her, so she’s forced me to stay here with her. She’s smelly and enormous. I hate rubbing her feet. I’ve learned to try and enjoy giving her oral pleasure, and some of the other God awful things she makes me do. It wouldn’t be that bad if she didn’t have a DING-DONG down there. I do get a meal every two weeks. It’s not anything exquisite, but then again, I’m living in a rat infested shack with an enormous prostitute. I cannot keep writing, because Bertha is behind me.

But I’ll leave you with this: I wasn’t a flying squirrel, not even a cool bird or serpent, I was a bug, just a fly on the wall. But I wasn’t just a fly, I was a HORNET! A Hornet who couldn’t fly. A Hornet who’s writing this wearing the old Hornet mask and green lingerie, bent over getting “Bertha-fied”, with a gun in his mouth.
BERTHA: “Ohh my Britt…You are onnee horrrnny Hornet!”
I’ll try…to…keep one shred of …de…decency… if I could just reach my Hornet sting…
………………..Kato!!!
Ahh, Thank goodness you’re here, get this Fat Piece of Shit off my ass!
www.SexyArmpit.com

Super Hero Dance Sequences

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OK, so this article is a bit BAT-HEAVY but these entries deserve to be on the list! Feel free to leave a comment with any ones I forgot! I know there’s many others, but here’s the most notable ones…

Spider Man 3 – Upon its release I remember there being quite an uproar that Sam Raimi decided to feature a dance sequence in a Super Hero movie. I’ll sling myself out on a web here and risk my reputation by saying that I actually enjoyed this part of the film. You have to remember that Peter was still in the black suit and it was doing weird primal stuff to his psyche. So naturally, the way that it manifested itself was by jazz dancing with a hot blonde. Who better to piss off your ex-girlfriend with than Gwen Stacy! While jazz dancing! C’mon, lighten up…it was fun.

Smallville actually seemed to have “bit” off Spider Man 3 or “taken the lead” from it so to speak. In season 7, Chloe, one of the best characters in the show, goes and hangs out at a club and heats things up with Jimmy Olsen on the dance floor.
Mystery Men – Perhaps it’s not a classic superhero movie but it was hard to resist. In yet another brilliant role, Geoffrey Rush plays criminal mastermind Casanova Frankenstein. We hear the Bee Gee’s Night Fever, and see the gigundo disco ball hanging from the ceiling while Casanova takes it all in: “Ah The old disco room, just as I left it…” His cohort Tony, played by Eddie Izzard, prances around disco dancing and doing the macarena. He later proclaims “Disco is NOT Dead!”
Plastic Man Cartoon – I don’t know if you’re on board but I had really fond memories of watching Plas as a kid. It was such a fun show! Plas was accompanied by his cute blonde girlfriend Penny, his Hawaiian best bud Hula Hula, and Baby Plas. Here‘s part of the intro of the show where Plas boogies down: “…he can spring…he can stretch..he can fly…he can bounce…he can change his shape…and he can even dance!” Plastic Man doesn’t get enough accolades. He’s one of the better comical super heroes and that combo usually doesn’t work well but it does for him! I always thought Jim Carrey would be an awesome choice to play Plastic Man in a movie.
Batman Returns – Michael Keaton and the super smoking hot Michelle Pfieffer slow dance to Siouxsie and the Banshees’ haunting Face to Face while having the type of conversation I’ve only dreamed of having with Catwoman. “Mistletoe could be deadly if you eat it…A kiss could be even deadlier.”

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Batman 1996 TV episode Hi Diddle Riddle – Rules went out the window for Batman in the ’60s. Batman was not only getting a little wacky in the comic books but also on prime time TV. Adam West’s brilliantly dry portrayal of Batman gets alot of flack and it may mostly be due to the fact that he wasn’t afraid to dance the “Batusi.”

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Return to the Batcave – Adam West and Julie Newmar get together for old time sake in this made for TV reunion to dance one last Batusi.

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Halloween 1981

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Last weekend I was looking through a box of old photos from Halloween’s past. These pictures become time machines for me. I came across quite a few that were taken at school during Halloween parades or just in the classroom. The one I’m posting today actually has nothing to do with me at all. This is Halloween 1981 and my sister dressed up as one of her favorite characters Holly Hobbie. The Wikipedia entry mentions that Hobbie was popular throughout the ‘70s, although I know for a fact she still held her own through the early ‘80s as well. Even though I was a little kid during that time I remember my sis loving Holly Hobbie.

In this photo my sister was one of the Holly Hobbies way in the back row. The Holly Hobbie closer to the front was actually “Evil Holly Hobby.” You can tell because she’s the one looking pissed off with her arms folded grumbling some crap about another girl dressing up as the same character. With more scrutiny we can see a lot of superhero representation here. There’s a possible Wonder Woman to the right of my sister in the back whose head is behind the kid with the red cloak. There’s a roaring Incredible Hulk in the front and then another poor Hulk stuck in the back biting his nails. He seems worried that he’s not as good as the proud ferocious Hulk who demands the spotlight. We can also pick out a few Spider Man costumes, a Superman, a kickass vintage Yoda costume, and finally an awesome Darth Vader with his mask up…dammit!
Leaving out the kids that make me giggle would be a crime. How about the little Asian boy with a cowboy hat on? (WWE fans: Is that Jimmy Wang Yang? was he foreseeing the future?) Is it even a cowboy hat? I totally don’t want to sound wrong but who are the kids in the front with the sheet over their head with their hats on supposed to be? The one in the front row’s face is being obstructed by the Incredible Ham Hulk who is raping the camera. You also can’t miss the innocent, friendly looking Snoopy. He doesn’t seem like that sarcastic, mischievous Snoopy we know from the cartoon. The ever-living Strawberry Shortcake makes an appearance as well as a nurse (yay).

Perhaps the winner for most enigmatic costume is the young New York Giant on the bottom left who is donning a #33. I have no idea who #33 was on the Giants back in the late ‘70s or early ‘80s. I’m going to assume that it was a generic N.Y Giants children’s costume with a random number on it unless one of the awesome Sexy Armpit readers can provide me with some answers! Lol. Oh, I saved the very best for last. On the right side, attached to the railing… is that a clown with an enormous fro, or is this supposed to be a character of some type?
I hope you enjoyed looking at some of these old-school costumes. Do you have any memories of these? If so, drop a comment! Especially if you know who the blonde guy is with the stars on his shirt. Evil Knievel? One of the Duke boys? I have a lot more Halloween related material coming your way here at TheSexyArmpit.com so stay tuned and as always, I appreciate you stopping by!
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