movies Archives - Page 5 of 8

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol. 34: Brewster’s Millions

Posted on February 11, 2010 by sexyarmpit

“C’mon, this is Hackensack, New Jersey, no scout comes here you understand that? A train’s going through the outfield right now…” – Spike Nolan, Brewster’s Millions

It’s only a matter of days before pitchers and catchers will be reporting to spring training. To get you geared up for baseball season, today’s entry features 1985’s Brewster’s Millions starring Richard Pryor. If you are a baseball fan and you haven’t seen this, it’s worth adding to your Netflix queue. The film is actually based on George Barr McCutcheon’s 1902 novel which spawned several movies, but this incarnation is the most well known. In addition to it’s baseball backdrop, New Jersey also plays a significant role in the film.

We first see Brewster (Pryor) as the pitcher on the minor league Hackensack Bulls. At first the film is reminiscent of 2000’s The Replacements, and it’s possible that this low rent, rag tag baseball team might get a shot at the big leagues later in the movie. Once the plot is exposed as fairly un-baseball related, the story becomes a bit cockamamy. Brewster stands to inherit $300 million dollars from his deceased great uncle, but only if he’s able to spend $30 million in 30 days. Brewster does everything he can to spend the dough, including running for Mayor of New York City and hiring the New York Yankees to take on the Hackensack Bulls in a 3-inning exhibition game.

Brewster’s Millions is one of those ’80s films that seems to get lost in the shuffle. The film is mildy humorous, thanks mostly to John Candy as Brewster’s friend, Spike Nolan. Candy was clearly not given the best material to work with but was still amusing as always. As the main character, Monty Brewster, even Pryor’s performance was mediocre at best. The storyline isn’t meant to be hysterical, but one would think that combining the comedic powers of Pryor and Candy on screen would equal gold, but it’s unfortunately not the case. I’m in no way implying that there are no funny parts in this film, but just not as many as I had hoped.

According to IMDB, Jennifer Beals was up for the role of Brewster’s love interest and financial advisor, Angela Drake, but the role ultimately went to Lonette McKee. McKee’s performance was dull and the film could’ve used a female lead with some sort of spark. McKee and Pryor didn’t have much chemistry at all and just the idea of Beals playing the role of Drake is much more enticing. I’m not sure why Beal didn’t get the role, but after reading more about Beals’ career, it seems to be a trend. She passed up the role of Appolonia in Purple Rain, and she was apparently the first choice to play Andie in Pretty in Pink, but lost out to Molly Ringwald.

Friday the 13th Part III’s Gloria Charles in a Camden Braves Jersey

Billboards at Pulaski Field: National Bank of Bergen County and Hasbrouck Dairy

Also thanks to IMDB, the exterior shot of Torchy’s Bar is also seen in 1979’s When a Stranger Calls:

“…he was out drinking ’til 3:30 at a bar in Plainfield last night…”

Brewster’s Millions offers various other mentions of New Jersey, Newark, and the fictional Hackensack Bulls baseball team. Look out for a hysterical cameo by Rick Moranis as Morty King King of the Mimics and Yakov Smirnoff as Vladimir the driver.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol. 33: 500 Days of Summer

Posted on January 26, 2010 by sexyarmpit

“You have your moments. Not many of them, but you do have them.”

– Princess Leia, Empire Strikes Back (1980)

When watching a love story on DVD with your woman for the first time, you might compare it to other films you have seen, or she may compare it to a classic romance novel you read not too long ago. Although, if you are like me and you have nothing to compare it to, it’s easy to arrive at the closest thing in my brain. STAR WARS! After watching 500 Days of Summer, the first thing that popped into my head was Leia’s grudging compliment to Han after he blended the Falcon into hunks of space garbage in Empire Strikes Back. The aforementioned famous quote perfectly describes 500 Days of Summer. It won’t blow your mind, and despite the buzz, it will not win an Oscar. It does have a handful of amusing moments though, not 500 of them, but it does have them.

“This is a story of Boy Meets Girl…The boy, Tom Hanson of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he’d never truly be happy until the day he met the one“

SUMMER: Well you’re a perfectly adequate greeting card writer.

TOM: Thank you, that was actually my nickname in college, they called me “perfectly adequate” Hansen.

SUMMER: They used to call me anal girl.

TOM: (spits out drink)

SUMMER: I was very neat…and organized…

SUMMER: “I wanted to sing ‘Born to Run’ but they didn’t have it.
TOM: I love “Born to Run.”
SUMMER: Me too.
McKENZIE: Tom’s from New Jersey.
SUMMER: Really?
TOM: Yeah I grew up there, I lived there ’til I was 12.
SUMMER: I named my cat after Springsteen.
TOM: OK, what was his name?
SUMMER: “…Bruce…”
TOM: That makes sense.

After they do the horizontal hustle, we hear Hall and Oates’ “You Make My Dreams Come True” kick in. It’s a beautiful sunny day and, Tom, still glowing from his prior accomplishment, checks his hair in a nearby car window. Who appears in his reflection on the glass? Well, it just happened to be the coolest scoundrel ever to come from Corellia, Han Solo himself! I guess when you finally spend the night with the girl you’re in love with, you’re riding so high that you kinda feel like Han Solo is winking back at you. What follows is pretty badass, if you can see how a grandiose, cheesy, ’80s advertisement style dance sequence, replete with random people joining in, hands flailing in the air, a visit from an animated bluerbird, and a marching band would be considered cool. This was the high point of the film for me.

My only issue with 500 Days of Summer lies with the likeability of the characters. It’s not that we have a hard time liking them, it’s quite the opposite. Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Tom Hansen, a charismatic underdog who becomes smitten with Summer Finn (Zooey Deschanel), a sort of enchanting, intangible brunette who ensnares Tom with her natural beauty. Until that point Tom must not have felt the chill of dating such a secluded girl who keeps her personal life and thoughts a mystery. Once you mess with a girl like that you don’t want any part of it again. Watching the emotional ups and downs of our main character falling for this distant girl who isn’t ready to fall in love is frustrating to watch at times. The story is more about how our past relationships shape who we become rather than formulating a typical saccharine Hollywood vehicle. The main theme of the movie is that certain relationships may not survive, but what we take away from them sometimes helps eventually lead us to that sappy kind of true love. Tom just had to pound out some duds before he got to his prize.

By the end of 500 Days, you may find your mind too crammed with frustration to even remember the warning. If you haven’t seen the film, I urge you to heed the tip given before the opening credits: “You should know up front, that this is NOT a love story.” The film does have plenty of scenes gleaming with gratification, but for those of you seeking a fun romcom with wacky hijinks, this shouldn’t be your first choice. 500 Days provides a more realistic look at unrequited love thanks to shining performances from its two talented stars.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol. 32: The Secret of the Ooze

Posted on January 21, 2010 by sexyarmpit

If you’re looking for toxic sludge in order to transform a wolf and a turtle into two monstrous mutants, then look no further than Bayonne, NJ! There’s plenty of ooze here thanks to the work of Techno Global Research Industries, or TGRI, a company who, for 15 years, has been dumping their noxious waste in Jersey no less. I guess they figured, “Why not dump it in Jersey? Oh sure, the state is filled with garbage anyway, so bury it over there!”

“…Reporting live from Bayonne, New Jersey, this is April O’Neil, Channel 3 News, back to you…”

This wasn’t just any ordinary waste, it was chemical ooze that could mutate anything into a jumbo version of itself. Unlike all the spam e-mails you get, this stuff could actually work miracles for a certain male appendage or even females with negative A cups. The only drawback is that after you lather up in it, you’d probably have to live the rest of your life ridiculously ripped and grow to 10 or 11 feet tall. If you’re cool with that and you have some sort of Guiness Book of World Records freak fetish, then by all means, go to Bayonne and find yourself some ooze! Just a warning though, you may have to dig through some of the alien carcasses that appeared in 2005’s War of the Worlds.

In an attempt to improve the company’s public image, TGRI tries to clean up much of the waste they have buried through the years of ecological incompetence. This ruise is not much different than some campaigns rolled out by many high profile companies in the last several years to “go green.” It’s common for companies to exploit the angle that they are being conscious of the environment to cover up a lot of their other shady operations. Just think, without this ooze, yeah maybe we wouldn’t have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but more importantly, we wouldn’t have Tokka and Rahzar!

At one point, as he’s being in interviewed by April O’Neil, Professor Jordan Perry (David Warner) even claims the sludge was non toxic! Oh yeah…of course. It was as non toxic as Crayola crayons! I don’t think so! Can you ever trust the man known as the voice of Ra’s al Ghul? I think not Detective…

Mutated giant dandelions, now do you understand why we’re called The Garden State?

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol. 31: 21

Posted on January 11, 2010 by sexyarmpit

“You want to count cards, you do it in Atlantic City!” – Cole Williams

The New Jersey Division of Travel and Tourism really ought to think about updating their slogan to “Come to New Jersey where our women are easy and our Blackjack tables are even easier!” In 2008’s 21, Cowboy Curtis…eh…I mean, Laurence Fishburne plays hardened casino security chief, Cole Williams, who beats down anyone he suspects of counting cards or cheating the house. Morpheus ain’t f-cking around either, he even slides his gigantic tacky gold rings around his fingers before he beats the shit out of you.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol. 30: Movie Madness!

Posted on January 4, 2010 by sexyarmpit

National Lampoon’s Movie Madness – wow, what a crapfest. I originally began my mission to see this film because I noticed that Diane Lane had a bit part in it. Luckily, a few years back, the film also known as National Lampoon’s Goes to the Movies aired on cable, so I checked it out. I’m sure there’s other bloggers and reviewers on the internet who consider this film to be a forgotten gem, but it doesn’t have many redeeming qualities, so before you search it out I warn you not to even bother. I’m sure the parody aspect of the film was much more effective back in 1982, but looking back it’s weak. Even Diane Lane’s role is easily forgotten. I’m usually a fan of weird, dry, and absurd humor, but this film didn’t even elicit a chuckle from me.

Ann Dusenberry as Dominique Corsaire, or…Miss Dairy Doll

In the “Success Wanters” segment of the film, the young and attractive Dominique Corsaire (Ann Dusenberry), recently graduated college and is determined to be successful. Corsaire was desperate after failing to find a job within days of graduating, so she becomes a stripper. One night Corsaire has a gig to dance at the National Conference of Presidents of Dairy Companies. She’s introduced as Miss Dairy Doll and the presidents heckle her to “show us your tits!” The lords of dairy got so charged up as she was dancing that they rushed the stage with sticks of butter. I’m pretty sure the “butter bang” is not in the kama sutra. Ahh, old dairy moguls and their weird sexual fetishes. (guys, don’t get any ideas OK? you’re wife probably won’t be into that) Corsaire wasn’t going to let the incident get her down. Corsaire vowed revenge on the butter industry. She wound up sleeping her way to the top of the Everest Margarine Company, then got busy with a wealthy Greek tycoon and his son, and eventually scored with the President of the United States.

In a slimeball attempt to make Butter and Margarine coexist, Jeff Steele, butter rep, sleeps with Corsaire. His vision for years was that “butter and milk could merge with margarine and other non-dairy creamers.” It sounded like a grand scheme, but little does he know that Corsaire’s actually using him to take his father, Walter Steele, a supreme overlord of butter, out of the picture. Sounds like the plot of a terrible soap opera, right? Well, not until you find out where Steele took her for a seductive rendezvous…

you’ll be hard pressed to find a Lake Interlude in New Jersey.

If you’re thinking of pulling a Jeff Steele style merger, then you’re better off making a rez at The Loop Inn Motel, in beautiful Avenel, NJ.

Brittany Murphy is December’s Garden State Playmate

Posted on December 31, 2009 by sexyarmpit

The Sexy Armpit was extremely saddened by the recent death of actress Brittany Murphy. Although she was born in Georgia, she grew up in Edison, New Jersey. Murphy attended Herbert Hoover School in Edison, NJ and the Verne Fowler School of Dance in Colonia, NJ. At only 32 years old, Murphy was too young to die, but thankfully she left us with many memorable performances which may only receive the credit they deserve now that she’s not with us anymore. Life is kind of f-cked up isn’t it?

Many of us remember Brittany Murphy as Tai in 1995’s Clueless, but prior to that she appeared in Drexell’s Class, an episode of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, as well as an appearance on Kids Incorporated among many other shows. Standout performances in Don’t Say a Word, 8 Mile, and Sin City finally helped garner Brittany Murphy some much deserved credit. You can say what you will about Just Married, but I saw it in the theater when it came out just based on her starring in it and I actually enjoyed it. She was dating her co-star Ashton Kutcher at the time and it definitely showed on screen. (Upon learning of her death, Kutcher tweeted “2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine…” and “see you on the other side kid.”) Since then Murphy continued acting in addition to lending her voice to Happy Feet, King of the Hill, and Futurama.

If you happened to see Abby Elliot do an impression of her on Saturday Night Live about a week before she passed away, then you know that Murphy was one of a kind and quirky. In many of her roles, Murphy evoked an innocent, loveable quality similar to Drew Barrymore’s demeanor while still being undeniably sexy. What’s most disappointing about her death, is that she won’t be able to celebrate the premiere of The Expendables, one of the most anticipated films of 2010, starring a who’s who of action stars. If the film is a success, her stock in Hollywood may have went up.

Back in 2005, everyone I knew was buzzing about how Brittany Murphy came back to Edison for the tree lighting ceremony and was given the key to the town. The NJ.com article reporting her death also mentions this event.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol. 25: Q The Winged Commuter

Posted on October 22, 2009 by sexyarmpit

The 1982 thriller, Q the Winged Serpent, is among the best blogger fodder of all time. David Carradine, Richard Roundtree, and Michael Moriarty star in this epic feature about a giant flying lizard who’s just trying to get his eat on around New York City. With a plot like that it’s just too easy to make fun of.

If you can look passed the awful special effects, there is a truly amusing scene in the beginning of the film. An unassuming woman is clearly trying to relax on a lawn chair and catch some rays on the roof of her apartment building. Just like any typical NYC sun worshipper, she is lathering suntan lotion onto her bare breasts when she suddenly gets ripped from her chair and hoisted away into the sky by the frigging buzzkiller Q. It sucks because I was really getting into that scene too. The actress, Bobbi Burns, was emoting big time. I don’t think I’ve witnessed such a dramatic application of suntan lotion on breasts ever. She showed such a beautifully subtle and gentle massage technique. Wonderful.

So, let’s see, the effects are terrible, the plot is pretty lame, and the acting is mediocre at best, so what is Q’s redeeming quality? I’ll tell you:

As detectives assigned to what is assumed to be a case of ritual killings, Shepard (Carradine) and Powell (Roundtree), treat this monstrous winged creature like an average New York City criminal. It’s when they meet with Captain Fletcher that the buffoonery begins. Fletcher offers his opinion on how Q gets to Manhattan:

“You know it can take us weeks to find where this thing’s holed up. I mean, it could be in the woods, away from the city someplace, it could be over in Jersey someplace. My God, with a wing span like you’re talking about here that thing could fly miles into New York City every day, and it would do that of course you know because New York is famous for good eating.”

Yeah that’s it Fletcher. Q likes to eat at all the gourmet restaurants in midtown. That’s one thing about Q, he always likes to use silverware and napkins.

SERGIO: “Oh well, isn’t this a surprise! Good Afternoon Q! I’m Sergio and I’ll be your waiter today. Do you see anything on the menu that you like?”

Q THE WINGED SERPENT: “Umm, yes as a matter of fact, I’ll take one shirtless human female, basted in suntan lotion.”

SERGIO: “Mmm, that’s one of my personal favorites. I’ll bring her out right away!”

Loew’s Jersey Theatre: Horror on the BIG Screen!

Posted on October 19, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Originally opened in 1929, the Loew’s Jersey Theatre located in Journal Square in Jersey City, was a venerable movie palace. Going to the movies in the ’30s and ’40s was not only cheaper (*tickets for their first film and musical performances were $0.35 each), but more of a grand experience than going to your local modern multiplex. After showing its final film, Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, the Loew’s Jersey was officially closed in 1986. Eventually, the theatre was sold to Jersey City and through volunteering and donations the ornate theatre was finally restored.

When the theatre reopened in 2002, I went with my father to see a showing of 1931’s Frankenstein. My dad used to go to see movies there as a kid and it was awesome to see that the landmark was saved and didn’t get demolished to make way for condominiums. If you’re in the NY/NJ area, you NEED to experience the Loew’s Jersey. When you’re watching a classic film there, it makes you feel like you’re traveling back in time.

Take my word for it and make a trip to see this majestic movie house for yourself. The Loew’s Jersey Theatre holds various seasonal and holiday themed movie marathons and events. This year for Halloween, they’ll feature 3 horror classics: Carrie, The Wolf Man, and Rosemary’s Baby. The best part is, the tickets are only $6!

For more info visit The Landmark Loew’s Jersey here: http://loewsjersey.org

*info grabbed from Wikipedia’s article here

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 22: The Home of Happiness

Posted on October 14, 2009 by sexyarmpit

If you want something visual, that’s not too abysmal,

we could take in another NJ T-Shirt Tuesday!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is performed in unison with the film for audiences all over the world, and New Jersey is no exception. Sure, we have the highest car insurance rates and the most toxic waste in the country, but bet your ass that we’ve also got our very own company of actors who passionately personify the characters from the most legendary midnight movie. Based out of northern New Jersey, the troupe has been strutting through theaters performing Rocky Horror since 1998! If you’re in the area and you’re looking to do something different in honor of Halloween this month, this is definitely it.

I’d have to say that if I were to play any role in the film, it would have to be Riff Raff. Don’t think for a second that it’s because I’m opposed to dressing up like Dr. Frank-N-Furter either, but Riff Raff is so much cooler. Did anyone get to see Sebastian Bach play the role of Riff Raff when RHPS was on Broadway? He tore it up!

Their next show is October 17th at the Bellevue Theatre in Montclair, NJ. For more info check out:

www.homeofhappiness.com or www.njrocky.com

Nocturna Mission #5: Casting Call

Posted on October 13, 2009 by sexyarmpit

To me, Edwige Fenech IS Nocturna, but in this installment of Jay’s Nocturna Mission, I’ll be choosing the best present day actresses for the role of the ghastly Batman villain. In case the big wigs at DC Entertainment are reading, then I’ll surely provide them with enough choices for a perfect Nocturna in a future installment of the Batman saga.

In choosing the best Nocturna, jotting down any actress with dark hair simply won’t cut it. For instance, appearance wise, Alina Vacariu would make a fantastic Talia, but casting Nocturna is far trickier. Having the right look is of supreme importance, because we wouldn’t even have a list if I based all my choices on acting talent. F-ck the Hollywood Foreign Press!!!

Since we’re deep into the Halloween Countdown, and there were a few ladies I just couldn’t bear to leave off, I narrowed my list down to 13. As you’re reading, keep in mind that these ladies will be made up to look super pale with blueish/black hair.

13) Megan Fox

12) Monica Belluci

11) Morena Baccarin

10) Natalie Martinez

9) Misa Campo

8) Asin Thottumkal

7) Rose McGowan

6) Kate Beckinsale

5) Cassandra Hepburn

4) Kim Director

kim director,blair witch 2 book of shadows

3) Emily Blunt

2) Aishwarya Rai

1) Inbar Lavi

Please feel free to leave a comment with your favorite from the list. Are there any actresses who you think were left off this list? Thank you for reading!