R2D2 is now an Awesome Astromech Aquarium!

I just read about an R2-D2 aquarium on Boing Boing that’s available at Hammacher and Schlemmer. I hope R2 doesn’t forget about the fish he’s storing in his “rusty innards!”

here’s the item summary from Hammacher and Schlemmer:
Modeled after the most well-known astromech droid in the galaxy, this R2-D2 holds a 1 3/4-gallon aquarium tank in his central compartment, ideal for a small freshwater family of goldfish, gouramis, or tetras. The domed head rotates with any vocal command you issue and he utters his familiar “bleeps” from the Star Wars movies. His radar eye houses the eyepiece to a built-in periscope that provides an intimate view of the aquatic activity below, allowing you to watch your charges swim towards the food you’ve dropped in from the dome’s removable feeding door. Includes filter and overhead LED tank lights that randomly morph between red, blue, and green (lights can be disabled). Includes a two-sided waterproofed cardboard insert depicting scenes from the movie as a background.

Star Wars Gang Runway Modeling Ecko Line at Macy’s

Here’s some pics I snapped at Macy’s of Darth, Yoda, Boba, Chewie, and a Stormtrooper sashaying around in the new Marc Ecko Star Wars clothing line. I could almost hear Vader talking to Boba Fett “You’re money baby! You’re money!” Sucks for Ecko and Macy’s, but I think more people would actually want to buy the masks rather than the clothes.

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DAAAMN YODA! those are some big ass hands for one little dude! And Chewie looks like he’s wearing a toupe!

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He’s One Sexy Sith:
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Should Layla Kayleigh Play The Clone Wars’ Ahsoka Tano?

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I must seriously question your midichlorian count if you aren’t a fan of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Although, surprisingly, the film and TV series have a large sand barge full of detractors. For some reason, many online folks have focused their feelings of disgust and hatred toward Anakin’s padawan, Ahsoka Tano. Actually, I can’t find anything about her character that I DON’T enjoy. She’s not annoying unlike some of the propaganda circulating on the Internet will tell you. Ahsoka proves to be a young, strong, female character who girls can look up to. When their friends or brothers are emulating Anakin or Obi-Wan, girls need a hero too! Thankfully, Ahsoka wasn’t given a stereotypical accent much like some of the other characters in the prequels (i.e Watto, Jar Jar, and Nute Gunray, to name a few). Ashley Eckstein flawlessly provides Ahsoka’s voice, but what if Ahsoka were to appear in the live action TV show? Who would be best for the role? 

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Keep in mind that Ahsoka is merely 14 years old, but I think we can stretch the age limit a little bit here. If Gabrielle Carteris and the rest of the cast of the original 90210 did it, then so can George Lucas! I choose Layla Kayleigh, a natural beauty who hosts The Feed on G4’s Attack of the Show and America’s Best Dance Crew on MTV among other TV credits. She’s only 24 and in addition to modeling, Layla has starred in a film and runs her own video blog. I find her physical features and diverse ethnic background to be prime reasons why she would be perfect for the role of Ahsoka. According to Wikipedia, Kayleigh has “African, European, and Middle Eastern ancestry.” What do you say Layla? Are you up for the Jedi training? How do the readers of The Sexy Armpit feel about it? 

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Battle Armor He-Man T-Shirt Contest!

I’ve always heard rumors that the transformation of Prince Adam into He-Man not only made him the most powerful man in the universe but also had a Viagra-like effect on his wang. While I’m not about to do a field study on this one, I can try to put myself in his position to properly understand the nature of the Beastman. We at The Sexy Armpit can’t be sure what team Prince Adam would actually be playing for considering his lavender tights, felt maroon vest, and cute little fuchsia power sword. All that aside, let’s give Adam the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s a little flamboyant, but straight nonetheless ala Paul Stanley.

Have you ever neglected some important work and found yourself wondering how He-Man resisted hot bitches like Teela, Evil-Lynn, and She-Ra…oh wait…that was his sister! So what, Luke and Leia had no idea they were brother and sister and everyone thought they were gonna,“do it…eww!”

It’s time for a kick-ass contest here on The Sexy Armpit.com! You can win the above pictured, custom made “Battle Damaged” He-Man Ringer T-Shirt by answering the following 2 questions as creatively as possible:

1) If you were He-Man what Eternian/Etherian girl would want to bang and why. **This can include anyone from Queen Marlena (but you’re my mo—) to Frosta

2) What would you (as He-Man) do for your first date with her? I love being Chuck Woolery, he’s an idol of mine.

SEND ANSWERS and YOUR ADDRESS TO SEXYARMPIT@COMCAST.NET
Your information will be kept strictly confidential, although if your answers are good they’ll be featured in a future post!

Remember Armpiters, the Best, Funniest, and Most Original answer will win the custom made Battle Damage He-Man Ringer Tee!

For more in the world of Masters of the Universe, check out the awesome new blog Geek Orthodox. Reis is putting himself through the arduous labor of scanning all the old He-Man and the Masters of the Universe Mini-Comics for all of us to enjoy. Head over there and do some friggin’ enjoying.

The Changing of the Geek

Can you even recall when black rimmed glasses and a pocket protector was the sole association with a geek? For me, it doesn’t seem that long ago that Eugene from the Grease films was the first person who came to mind when I heard that word. Heck, even Screech Powers from Saved by the Bell was synonymous with Nerd or Geek. Robert Carradine and Anthony Edwards stood up for all who were nerdy in the Revenge of the Nerds series and I honestly can’t see a modern day “re-imagining” of that series because the idea of Nerd or Geek has totally changed.

Is there even a clear difference between a geek and a nerd? The classic definition of a nerd/geek varies greatly from what it is today. At one time, geeks were typically guys, ultra intelligent, never seemed to know how to dress, and they definitely couldn’t talk to girls (if only they had Beauty and the Geek back then). I bet my coveted toy WWE spinner belt that you or someone you know has been called a computer nerd. Nowadays, it seems that a geek is someone who is heavily into computers, comics, gaming, sci-fi, or nostalgia. As a matter of fact, you can be a geek with just about anything if you’re THAT obsessed with it. But it doesn’t sound right when you say “I’m a music geek, or a movie nerd.” With that said, it seems those once derogatory terms can’t be used universally. For now, let’s just assume they refer to similar types of people.

Since the ’50s we’ve had the pleasure of poking fun at these smart, goofy bastards called Nerds. Back then they were mostly found in high schools or libraries getting shaken down for their lunch money or a term paper or overzealously raising their hands at each question asked by the teacher and getting every answer so right that you thought you might be missing your frontal lobe.

Geeks across the nation rallied and experienced one hell of a renaissance once the ’90s rolled around. Perhaps Family Matters’ Steve Urkel captured the title of one of the most familiar modern day geeks. How can fanboys like me, (a much better term I’d say) and say…your friend who’s into fantasy role playing games be considered the same kind of animal? It just doesn’t seem right. I always felt it was a negative comment to call someone a geek or a nerd and now it’s just as insulting, but in different way. I get called a geek all the time and I’ve just come to accept it and brand myself one before anyone can pounce on it. It’s easier to say I’m a superhero geek to make it easier for people to understand what I’m about. Have you been called a geek because you love Star Wars? Now anyone who loves Star Wars is considered a “Star Wars Geek.” Lame but true. Why should we be persecuted for what we like?

It became a whole different IQ test when bands like Weezer surprised the shit out of the music business helping to introduce the genre known as “geek rock.” While they had smart, self depreciating lyrics filled with pop references, and hard rock with memorable hooks, they were far from geeks. It may have just been a style they went for to be tongue in cheek considering one of Rivers Cuomo’s previous bands was considered a hair band.

Nerds are penetrating pop culture more than ever before. Right at this minute you can open up another browser page and look at a whole online store that sells stuff that nerds would drool over (ThinkGeek). Hell, there’s even an entire magazine dedicated to geek culture…(which at this moment i’m fantasizing about subscribing to) Geek Monthly . Even consumers who are apprehensive about buying computer and home theater equipment can call in the “Geek Squad” to save the day. Why is it that you have to be a geek to know about computers and hook up electronics?

A trendy term in the past few years “Geek Chic,” refers to everything geek becoming cool. Damn, you would need to be up on your “Geekspeak” before you could possibly know what “Cheek Chic” is. On the defunct “O.C,” Adam Brody’s Seth Cohen was a hero to the nerd kingdom. He was like Ghandi, or Abraham Lincoln bringing us one step closer to freedom. Seth had a thing for graphic novels, death cab, he drew and wrote his own comics, coined his own words, and dug The Goonies. You can’t get more geeky than that. But more recently on TV, G4’s influential Attack of the Show features Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn, two good looking non geeky hosts giving the run down on all that is geeky. They discuss the latest tech gadgets, superhero films, and report live from what is known as “geek nirvana” the Comic Con. With them leading the geek charge it’s no wonder that geeks of today are only called that for lack of a better term.

You know what geek or nerd are euphemisms for? Pathetic. I swear. You and I…and everyone else…we need to accept that and revolt. We need to take on a new moniker because we don’t have much in common with those old school, pocket protected, highwater-wearing nerds. Think about it…is everyone who wears black rimmed glasses a geek? I’m sure some of them are but not all. Why in the name of all namers couldn’t we have named this new “geek” revolution something else? Webster’s dictionary makes a big deal about adding new slang terms each year that we stopped using years ago and we couldn’t think of another word that would better describe us? Video Gameamaniacs, Comic Bookers, Nostalgaddicts, none of them will work. In America we are always concerned about being PC and calling every different ethnic group the proper name so I think it’s only fair to give us geeks the same respect. This is a stigma that I hereby vow to eradicate. IT’S TIME FOR OUR REVOLUTION, GEEKS NEED A NEW NAME!

You Want It, But You Don’t NEED It!

I’m being a real slacker lately so I’ve put together a post that will highlight some cool shit that I’ve found while clicking around the Internet. I’m sure you’ve heard of some of these, while others maybe not. There will be more posts on the way from The Sexy Armpit.com, and the very first, limited edition, SEXY ARMPIT T-Shirts are COMING SOON!

For years I have been trying to invent a robot that wheeled itself around asking “Do you want ketchup on that” And if you said yes then it’s crazy robot hands would flip up and start squirting ketchup at you…or if you’re lucky…on your fries or burger. Once I figured out that I had no skills in science in any way I put that idea to rest, probably for the better. It was just a chance discovery to find this item, it’s no robot, but at least it attempts to bring condiments up to the FUN level that they should always be at. Introducing: THE CONDIMENT GUN!

The price of this collectible has jettisoned through the entire space time continuum and came BACK and it’s still ridiculously expensive. Even cowboy hats and Mary Steenburgen couldn’t make this baby affordable. Great Scott! It’s your very own Flux Capacitor!

If you ever aspired to be Jack Burton from Big Trouble in Little China, like I did after I saw the movie when I was a kid then you need the shirt he wore in the film. Found Item Clothing has one of the best replicas of the shirt I’ve seen yet.

When I was a young Masters of the Universe freak, I was never too happy wielding a half a toy power sword while I forced my dad to carry the other half which belonged to Skeletor. It was a great gimmick to put the two halves together but one side was silver and the other was florescent yellow. I always hoped to get a power sword of my own, I even contemplated getting one tattooed on me but I figured I’d get a huge RED “G” (for geek) burned into my arm by the townspeople. That brings us to just a few years ago when the new Masters of the Universe cartoon came on Cartoon Network. The resurgence of the He-Man toy line and collectibles soared, (or ZOARED! lol) but the power sword changed and got all mechanical on us. I couldn’t stand the look of it since it was pretty far from the sleek and simple design of the original sword. To my dismay, Kingdom of Swords carried the replica of the new complicated power sword, but they also carry THE LIGHT UP SWORD OF OMENS from THUNDERCATS! This is CRAZY COOL, PEOPLE! I don’t think you understand the magnitude….just click the link and you will!

I heard about this next link on Attack of the Show. Just in case you missed it, I’ll repeat it here: GH Skinz is a skins site for your Guitar Hero guitar and drum kits. These skins will spruce up your guitar if you already haven’t plastered stickers and other foreign objects all over it already.

If you’re imaginary intergalactic adventures aren’t quite up to par lately, why don’t you buck up some dataries (try almost 6,000) and splurge on your very own life size protocol and astromech droids? Fuck yeah!

This last one is purely for those who enjoy a constant state of regression, like I do. When you grow frustrated with your life, job, wife, etc. Make a SNO-CONE from the Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine! I had one when I was a little kid and I remember making the Sno-Cones with my mom and sister and they never lived up to the hype that you got watching the ads for it. I think the process was more fun, and the anticipation of how good I thought it was going to be. Ahh, what the hell, let’s get one for the condo!

Star Wars Slot Machines!

not too long ago…in a Borgata not far away….
STAR WARS SLOT MACHINES!!!! Yes, they are here and they are freakin’ awesome. They play clips from the film and there is a BONUS round where the death star spins around and you get extra credits. Neat-O. You should all go down to A.C just to play. You get to shoot some stormtroopers also…who can pass that up? Those shmucks are always getting gunned down. You gotta feel bad for ’em.