NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 29: Richie Sambora – You Can Go Home

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Jon Bon Jovi is a philanthropy snob. Obviously, there are worse things one can be, like perhaps the lead singer of a New Jersey rock band who now sounds like he’s a cowboy from Tennessee. How do you think the laid back, good time guitarist Richie Sambora feels every time Jon Bon Jovi donates $385 bazillion dollars to charity? It seems insurmountable to live up to that lofty standard, but Richie’s latest endeavor is quite praiseworthy.
Recently, Richie Sambora created You Can Go Home, a fundraising campaign for Kelly Mahon, a Woodbridge High School student in New Jersey who is afflicted with a brain tumor. Richie is one of the only celebrities ever to graduate from Woodbridge High School (besides me of course) and he felt compelled to give back to his hometown. According to the official You Can Go Home website, the original campaign raised over $75,000 for Kelly’s family which helped offset the tremendous medical bills.
For nearly two years, Kelly has been confined to the hospital for the majority of the time, but is now cleared to go home for overnight visits. In preparation for Kelly’s visits back home, The Mahon Family needed to renovate their entire house for wheelchair accessibility. Sambora personally financed all the renovations so Kelly could be reunited with her family in their home for the first time since she was admitted to the hospital in 2007.
Richie Sambora is offering a line of merch and the profits from which will provide further funding to aid Kelly in her recovery. Even if you’re not a Bon Jovi fan, this is for a good cause so head over to the website and make a purchase!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 28: Cold Hearts’ Secret Stash

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I know what you’re thinking…again with Cold Hearts?!?! Well, first of all, this atrocious Twilight saga seems to have ripped off the 10 year old Cold Hearts, at least a little. But more importantly, how could I resist bringing it up again when the film depicts a group of over animated frat guys who hang out on the Jersey boardwalk? It’s ripe for ripping. Luckily, one of the guys just happened to have worn a Jersey appropriate t-shirt in one scene.

Danny (played by Cherry Hill born actor Stink Fisher), is clearly the muscle of the crew, and proudly wears a Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash T-Shirt. It’s not officially known whether this specific shirt was chosen because it was sheer enough to accentuate his ridiculously huge shoulders or it was just what they had lying around in wardrobe. Danny looks like he could have went the full duration of an Iron Man match with Hercules Hernandez. Note to Chaz’s Jersey vampire crew: Don’t f-ck with Danny. Another member of the group, Kevin, is played by writer and director of the film, Robert A. Masciantonio. He keeps with the Kevin Smith tribute and dons a View Askew Vulgarians hockey jersey in this scene.

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The holiday shopping blitz will officially be underway in just a couple of days. It’s a great time to mention that The Secret Stash online store is having a Merry Christmas sale and you can get action figures, signed comics, DVDs, books, and of course T-SHIRTS! These are the latest editions of the Secret Stash shirts on sale for the Blunt-Light special price of $8 bucks! If you don’t want to order online, then just head to Red Bank, NJ and visit Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash in person.
You can also purchase the Cold Hearts DVD here at this link.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 27: Hennessy Cognac

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Nick from Trenton rocks his
New Jersey Jack Daniels & Hennessy mash up T-Shirt

Recently, I ran into Nick from Trenton, NJ who was wearing this cool New Jersey Hennessy Cognac t-shirt. The logo on the front of the shirt is a rip off of the iconic black label on Jack Daniels bottles. I did some Googling and couldn’t find any info on the existence of actual bottles of regional Hennessy Cognac. There is a good chance that this shirt might have been made simply as a parody or possibly to promote Hennessy’s work with Habitat for Humanity in various cities around the country. “Cognac for the Community” is an article that was printed in Brand Week last year and reports on the good work that Hennessy has done in Bergen County, NJ, among other places.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 26: The Proprietary House

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Got Ghosts? The Proprietary House Ghost Tour T-Shirt

The Royal Governor’s mansion in Perth Amboy NJ, also known as The Proprietary House, is the only original Governor’s mansion of the original 13 colonies that is still standing today. New Jersey’s last Royal Governor, William Franklin and his wife, lived there from 1774 – 1776. The mansion was built in 1762, and since that time the Proprietary House has taken on different owners who used the mansion for various purposes. After being home to the Governor, it was a hotel, a resort, a home for disabled ministers, their wives and children of deceased ministers. The building also served as apartments, and a public restaurant, until ownership went to the State of New Jersey. The building is on the National Register of Historic Places, and is maintained by the non-profit Proprietary House Association. www.proprietaryhouse.org
As with many historic buildings like this, an abundance of ghostly activity has been reported throughout the years. Thanks to the concentration of paranormal activity there, every Halloween the Proprietary House and many gracious volunteers put on a Ghost Tour through the spooky old mansion. When I say “old mansion,” I’m not talking about a classic haunted mansion you’d see in a classic horror movie, this is a REAL haunted mansion.

Proprietary House, Perth Amboy
Your average volunteer probably couldn’t handle hosting a group of nearly 40 people on a tour through this rickety old mansion, they’d probably launch themselves out the window mid tour out of fear. Naturally, I’m embellishing a bit, but what makes a tour like this more memorable than running like mad through an insane haunted attraction that employs actors wielding fake chainsaws and breathing down your neck, is that you’ll be in the same spots where actual ghosts have walked. After having so many owners and inhabitants, The Proprietary House has no shortage of spirits materializing in it’s haggard halls.
Many prominent paranormal investigators have visited The Proprietary House. The Ghost Hunters have investigated the building on the SyFy Channel and The Halloween Ghost Tour that I took was hosted by psychic Jane Doherty. Jane’s expanding stomach is her trademark on ghost investigations. When she passes through the path of where the spirit has walked, her stomach expands widely. Doherty informed us that the phenomenon still goes unexplained by her Doctors. Currently, she’s working on a reality TV show called Ghost Chicks, a group of female paranormal investigators. For more info on the show click here: www.ghostchicks.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 25: Asbury Lanes

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Pictured above is the official Asbury Lanes T-Shirt, which is available for an affordable $15 bucks at this link: http://www.asburylanes.com/merch.htm

There were a few requirements I had when determining what to do on Halloween night. New Jersey offers an endless amount of options from costume parties to haunted houses, and like Clark Griswold I wanted to ensure the optimum amount of fun for The Sexy Armpit crew.

What were my stipulations? I didn’t want to spend $10 per drink, I didn’t want to drive too far, but I did want to be in a place where I would be recognized for who I dressed up as: the early ’80s version of Macho Man Randy Savage and my girlfriend was Miss Elizabeth. If I went to some snotty upscale place, and believe me, there’s many of those to choose from in Jersey, I would be looked down upon. I like to go places where I feel like I fit in. I narrowed my search down to The Berkeley Oceanfront Hotel which was offering The Shining: Red Rum, Red Rum Party, which would have soaked me $50 bucks at the door. My budget was basically non-existent, so I scratched that one off real quick. The hefty entrance fee was justified though, since winners of their costume contest would win big prize money: Best costume won $1,000 cash! Still, I opted for something more affordable, and more my style. Ultimately, I wound up merely a few blocks away.

In association with Paranormal Books, Asbury Lanes held The Bloodlust Ball. The masquerade’s cover charge was only $15, which included entertainment, snacks, and Halloween candy. For those who haven’t been there, you also have the option to bowl some balls. The vibe was very cool and I knew we were in for a great time as soon as we sat down at the bar. The drinks were priced very reasonably so you wouldn’t have broken your bank if you were out to get tanked. We caught a few minutes of the Yankees game and then I was recognized, “Hey look, that guy is Macho Man!” Throughout the night we received compliments on our costumes and praised other awesome ones as well! We ran into Emma Frost/White Queen, Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride, and even Charles Manson and Sharon Tate. We had a blast and I definitely made the right choice!
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Two aspects of The Bloodlust Ball set it apart from the rest of the parties I could have attended. First, DJ Jack the Ripper spun hours of retro ’80s tunes and cranked out tracks that I also have on my iPod like Prince’s “Sexy M.F,” and Whodini’s “The Freaks Come out and Night.” Did I mention the burlesque performers? Our host for the evening was the wickedly entertaining Weirdee Girl, who usually performs in Brooklyn and other venues in New York. Every hour she introduced other burlesque performers, all of whom presented their own unique show. The second performer, Justina Flash of The Gyronauts, put on quite a spectacle. Take a peek at what she does with a flaming hula hoop in this video:

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=2022772&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1

Asbury Lanes
209 4th Avenue
Asbury Park, NJ 07712

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 24: The Fiend Club

On Tuesday October 27th, 2009, The Misfits will premiere their new single “Land of the Dead” exclusively on Sirius-XM radio. In addition to the satellite radio premiere, The Misfits will perform 2 new tracks live at The Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, NJ on mischief night October 30th! Tracks from the new album, Land of the Dead, are available through iTunes, Amazon, Misfits.com, etc. The Land of the Dead T-Shirt is available at the Fiend Store. The albums cover art (and the art on this t-shirt) was drawn by Arthur Suydam (Marvel Zombies).

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The legion of KISS fans are known as THE KISS ARMY, while fans of The Misfits are The Fiend Club. This weeks 2nd offering for NJ T-Shirt Tuesday is the official Fiend Club T-Shirt available at 80stees.com.

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All month long I’ve been playing the Misfits on my iPod in honor of Halloween. The Misfits have never been embarrassed to admit that they are from New Jersey, and that’s awesome.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 22: The Home of Happiness

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If you want something visual, that’s not too abysmal,
we could take in another NJ T-Shirt Tuesday!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is performed in unison with the film for audiences all over the world, and New Jersey is no exception. Sure, we have the highest car insurance rates and the most toxic waste in the country, but bet your ass that we’ve also got our very own company of actors who passionately personify the characters from the most legendary midnight movie. Based out of northern New Jersey, the troupe has been strutting through theaters performing Rocky Horror since 1998! If you’re in the area and you’re looking to do something different in honor of Halloween this month, this is definitely it.

I’d have to say that if I were to play any role in the film, it would have to be Riff Raff. Don’t think for a second that it’s because I’m opposed to dressing up like Dr. Frank-N-Furter either, but Riff Raff is so much cooler. Did anyone get to see Sebastian Bach play the role of Riff Raff when RHPS was on Broadway? He tore it up!
Their next show is October 17th at the Bellevue Theatre in Montclair, NJ. For more info check out:

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 21: New Jersey Zombie Walk

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Here’s the official T-Shirt of the NJ Zombie Walk that took over the streets of Asbury Park last weekend. The illustration on the front of the tee depicts a zombie ripping through the outline of New Jersey with green slime splattered in the background. If you missed out this year, make sure you get there next year! Within the next few days, the official site will feature pics of the event: www.njzombiewalk.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 20: Wildwood Part 2

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No, it’s not 1990…it’s just Wildwood. What was that I was saying about Wildwood t-shirts being hideously ugly? The last time I discussed Wildwood T-Shirts I made it abundantly clear that you won’t be finding any runway couture on the Wildwood boardwalk.

From the top left:

1) The shirts you’ll see on the boardwalk are so terrible that they have to leetch off of another tourist attractions tag line. “What Happens in Wildwood Stays in Wildwood???” Are they serious? That’s the lamest thing I’ve ever seen, and to make matters worse it’s splattered with neon green, pink, and blue paint because we love that shit.

2) I’m not opposed to Zebra print in any shape or form, but when it’s ruined with Funfetti it just reminds me of a Little Debbie creation.
3) As we move to the top right I’m taking a vivid trip back into the ’80s. It could seriously pass for a title screen on an early ’80s Wildwood travel video.
4) This one should be called DRIPPING NEON KISSES FROM WILDWOOD! Was Paul Stanley the lip model for this shirt? Because I’m pretty sure he was doing a lot of lip modeling during the KISS Asylum days in ’85.
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5) Finally a generic Wildwood shirt made for tweens. Unfortunately they had to infuse the entire pastel color spectrum into this one.
6) As ridiculous as this last one is, it’s actually the only one that’s remotely wearable. Dig those Palm trees, huh? You are reading this correctly: palm trees on the beach in Wildwood.
Until next time folks, this has been NJ T-Shirt Tuesday, where things keep getting more neony.