t-shirt Archives - Page 11 of 14

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 19: Paranormal Books in Asbury Park

Posted on September 22, 2009 by sexyarmpit

“Back from the Dead” a vampiric Tillie T-Shirt found just in time for Halloween at
Paranormal Books in reanimated Asbury Park, NJ

Remember Ray Stantz’s book store Ray’s Occult in Ghostbusters 2? Ever since that movie came out I wished a store like that actually existed in my area, and now THERE IS ONE! Last year Kathy Kelly opened Paranormal Books & Curiosities on Cookman Ave. in Asbury Park. The store sign even gives off a creepy vibe as you walk passed it on the sidewalk.

Books detailing ghostly encounters, urban legends, ESP, and paranormal investigations fill the shelves of this awesome shop. Paranormal Books also carries an extensive array of books on ghosts in the Garden State as well as tomes on The Jersey Devil. Coming Soon at the shop is an exhibit on The Jersey Devil which I was able to get some dirt from proprietor Kathy Kelly herself. From hearing her teasers, this is sure to be a truly chilling, must-see exhibit!

Zombie Tillie, Asburied Park, NJ

Paranormal Books is on its way to becoming New Jersey’s spectral hotbed. Books aren’t the only thing Kathy offers up, in addition to T-SHIRTS, action figures, and other oddities, they also host events including paranormal lectures, classes, psychic readings, book signings, ghost walks and exhibits.

If you’re an Armpit reader who has never been to Asbury Park, then start planning a day trip! Now is the best time to visit Asbury Park thanks to the city’s resurgence. Asbury Park is a perfect example of how eclectic New Jersey is. We need more places like this in NJ that evoke personality and benefit from having owner who is as inspired and passionate about what they love as Kathy Kelly. (*cough*…*cough*…comic book store?)

Click here to visit the Paranomal Books & Curiosities website and online store

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 18: Wildwood Part 1

Posted on September 16, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Planet Spaceball ran out of air, but it doesn’t seem likely that I’ll ever run out of tacky, Jersey related t-shirts to discuss here on NJ T-Shirt Tuesday. I was literally bombarded by a barrage of terrible new tees during my recent trip to Wildwood. Much like the upcoming Autumn harvest promises to yield plentiful crops, this trip has provided me with copious fodder which I know you’ll enjoy, or at the very least snicker at.

You’ll notice a theme running through the next few T-Shirt Tuesday posts and its NEON! Yes folks, apparently everything you’ve heard about the Jersey Shore is 100% TRUE. It’s still the early ’90s there. I can tell you first hand that shops on the Wildwood boardwalk have not evolved passed 1993. It’s hard to miss the bright colors splashed all over every sweatshirt, hoodie, tank, wife beater, and t-shirt you see hanging on the racks as you stroll down the boardwalk. Without a doubt this is pretty strange, but my purpose in life is to bring you this pressing information. If you’re in Alaska reading this (which apparently there are quite a few of you), you may be wondering to yourself “I’ll never get to the Jersey Shore, but I’d love to know just how gaudy it really is.” See folks, I am actually providing a service. Read on for more insight on these terrible t-shirts.

My woman noticed the “GIRLS GONE WILD WOOD” tee, which is quintessential NJ T-Shirt Tuesday material. Aside from it’s riff on the Girls Gone Wild DVD series, its obvious they couldn’t resist making the fonts as bright as possible. Honestly though, I feel that this T-Shirt really speaks to me. It says “I’M LOOKING AT ASHLEY DUPRE’S TITS WHILE EATING FRUIT LOOPS AND LISTENING TO KID ‘N PLAY.”

If you’re not blinded by the bright splotchy colors you’ll notice that the second shirt is clearly inspired by expressionist painter Jackson Pollock. When you’re creating shirts to be sold on the boardwalk at the Jersey Shore, it’s a no brainer to let yourself be inspired by great abstract artists of our time. When the fat guy with ragged cut off jeans, greasy hair, cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and a big gulp mug full of beer walks by that store, he’s definitely going to pick up on the Pollock homage immediately. I can see him now holding it up in all of its glory, cigarette tucked between two fingers as he points at the shirt and his other hand holds the hangar, “‘Dat wood look grate on my old lady…dont’cha tink?” The Jersey Girl shirt gets people every time. When the late ’40s overly tan mommy from Staten Island passes by with her two obnoxious kids, she nearly has a heart attack at the sight of the shirt, “…OH…MOI…GAWD…look sweety! Don’t yew LOVE dis, awwww yew would look soooo cute in dis t-shut!!!” The language mutilation is no exaggeration. FAW REAL!

This tank top is a party unto itself. And what a steal it is. At only $3.99 this amazing “Jersey Girl: Wildwood” tank top includes every color in the spectrum and it will send you straight into convulsions if you stare at it too long. **WARNING** Please don’t try this at home because then some asshole will sue me. Ah, who cares if they do…they’d only make enough to buy 3 tank tops at the Wildwood Boardwalk!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 17: Eastside High School, Paterson NJ

Posted on September 9, 2009 by sexyarmpit

NJ T- Shirt Tuesday kicks off the first ever Back to School Week here at The Sexy Armpit! Today we’ll take a look at T-shirts from the actual Eastside High School in Paterson, NJ. If the school sounds familiar that’s because Eastside High is the subject of the 1989 film Lean on Me starring Morgan Freeman. If watching yet ANOTHER Morgan Freeman movie isn’t up your alley, then you’ll also get to see Benson’s Robert Guillaume, “Candyman” Tony Todd, an appearance by The Sopranos’ Michael Imperioli, and a young uncredited extra by the name of Ahmed Best who probably wished he quit acting after this film because he’s better known as JAR JAR BINKS!!!

The film’s story is based on the unorthodox methods of former Eastside High principal Joe Clark. The high school was overrun with drugs, violence, and low test scores, so Clark sought to improve the students education and change the policies of the inner city school. Although the film wasn’t 100% accurate to reality, it still managed to capture the essence of Clark’s disciplinary mission.

PrepSportswear created the 2 custom Eastside High School T-shirts pictured above. They also offer customized jerseys and sports apparel for many other high schools.

Here’s the official website for Eastside High School and its sports teams “The Mighty Ghosts.” Click here for the official Eastside High School apparel store.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 16: Retro DC T-Shirts

Posted on September 1, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Fellow Jersey blogger Tommy Salami of Pluck You Too tipped me off to this weeks NJ T-shirt Tuesday offering. Tommy sent me the link to the Retro DC T-Shirt Shop which is run by Steve Jencks of the horror/b-movie blog Lost Highway: A Detour Through B-Movies and Cult Films. Steve is a versatile graphic designer who specializes in illustration, web design, and logo branding. Jencks has created many awesome T-shirts available online through his Retro DC T-Shirt Shop.

In addition to his other Zombie, Lost Highway, and Pinball Playtime designs, Jencks offers 2 New Jersey related T-Shirts. The first, “New Jersey ate my Neighbors,” features a graphic of a green, throbbing, one eyed monster reeling in a nice lady from the neighborhood. He gets hungry, can you blame him? The 2nd one is the “Jersey Devil Dark T-Shirt,” and it’s badass. The skeletal remains of the Jersey Devil look as if they are buried in the state like dinosaur fossils! It’s an original take on the Jersey Devil legend, one that I have yet to see, especially in t-shirt form!

The majority of shirts offered at Retro DC are available in a slew of different colors so you aren’t limited to the black ones I’m showing you here. Also, at the top of his online shop, Jencks mentions that you can contact him for your very own custom t-shirt design.

I was curious to find out if Steve Jencks is from Jersey because many people who aren’t from Jersey despise this state and would probably never spend the time designing a shirt inspired by the most toxic state in the U.S. Who can blame them? I was able to ask Jencks through his Twitter page (twitter.com/Losthighway) and his reply was “Nope, I’m not from Jersey, just a big fan. I love Weird NJ and all the legends. Hope to visit someday!” Right on Steve!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 15: Mickey Mouse Chillin’ in Jersey

Posted on August 26, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Unfortunately, this isn’t another practical joke, Mickey won’t actually be chillin’ in Jersey anytime soon. Even if he was, he’d need the proper attire. Here he’s looking more like he was auditioning to be an extra in a McDonaldland commercial. Mick would have looked more appropriate rocking a pair of stone washed jeans and a wife beater, but he got the sunglasses right though! If the folks at Disney animation weren’t so uptight about their squeaky clean image, maybe we’d get an animated short called Mickey’s Sopranos attached to the beginning of The Princess and the Frog? If I was Mickey, I think I’d pick Jiminy Cricket as my consigliere.

If we had it our way here in Jersey, we would’ve had a nice gigantic Disney Theme Park in place of Xanadu, the debacle that’s presently taking up space in the Meadowlands complex. Until then, we can fantasize about how cool it would be to see racks at the gift shops filled with these t-shirts at Disney World: New Jersey.

Recently, eBay Seller VintageCandee1 featured this ’80s Disney T-Shirt with Mickey on the front leaning against the words “New Jersey.” At the bottom of the graphic, the fine print reads “The Walt Disney Company by Velva Sheen.”

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 14: The New Jersey Giants

Posted on August 19, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Courtesy of XL3 Vintage Clothing

Last night the New York Giants won their first pre-season game against the Carolina Panthers at Giants Stadium. Depression sets in every time I watch a Giants game and I’m forced to fixate on that silly “NY” logo on the players’ helmets. Growing up in the ’80s, the Giants helmets simply read “GIANTS.” It was sleek and concentrated on the team name without any implication of geographical ownership. It’s a simple fact of life that the Giants will never change their name to the NY/NJ Giants, regardless of the fact that everyone in the country knows that their official headquarters, training facility, and home stadium are in East Rutherford, New Jersey. In a non-sports related argument, there’s no reason why a New York/New Jersey feud should even exist since their relationship is symbiotic. There’s no way the Giants would even exist without New Jersey, and their new stadium affirms that they’ll be sticking around for quite a long time.

During the ’80s and ’90s (and I’m sure it’s probably still happening) there were many bootleg “New Jersey Giants” shirts printed up. If you bought or wore one of these throughout the years, your fake boobs or juiced pecs were clinging to a lie. Wearing a shirt or an illegally created jersey that purported the Giants to be a New Jersey team was like falling in love with a girl who was already married. It’s a fruitless affair. New Jersey doesn’t want the Giants to be ours exclusively, we’re happy sharing Big Blue, but hell, we just want some credit! What’s the sense of having a fierce custody battle when we know that the Giants have lived in the swamps of New Jersey since ’76? I wonder how it would pan out if the Boston Red Sox stadium was actually in Rhode Island? The Rhode Island Red Sox has a better ring to it…and so does the Jersey Giants!!!

This shirt is a small, and it’s from the ’80s when everyone was the size of Napoleon, so I’d bet it’s only going to fit small children and girls without much in the boob department. Regardless, this sporty slice of retro heaven is ideal for those who love the G-Men, AND New Jersey!

To check out the listing click here: XL3VintageClothing.net

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 13: Bon Jovi at Giants Stadium 1989

Posted on August 11, 2009 by sexyarmpit

No joke: This shirt was $199 bucks on eBay. The auction offered free shipping though, as if that was any incentive to buy a 20 year old, used t-shirt.

Internet, oh Internet, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways! 1) you make it easier to pay my bills 2) you provide me with an occasionally biased, poorly edited, publicly written encyclopedia that has become the Britannica of the modern age. 3) you’ve made it so simple to find pornography at little or no cost to millions of men around the world (and excessively horny women…you know who you are!) 4) Where would we be without social networking sites? Actually speaking to each other on the phone, or better yet interacting with someone IN PERSON? OK, so the Internet is a blessing, but it’s also a curse because now we rely on it like a drug.

Above all of the aforementioned reasons why I love the Internet, the reason I love most is that we can find cool shit that isn’t for sale in any store, not even a thrift store or a flea market. You see, there are just some things that no one in their right mind would actually sell to you in person. That is where the Internet comes in. Places like eBay, Craigslist, and other auction sites have afforded us the opportunity to buy entire series bootlegs of TV shows that will never have even a minute chance of getting an official release. The Internet, and Google has opened up doors for us that lead to toys from our childhood that mysteriously disappeared from our den when we were young, only for us to find out that our father’s got rid of them so we can grow up and become men. You want Castle Grayskull mint in box? eBay! How the f-ck does someone still have that, you ask? Well, I have no idea because I ask myself that same question.

Where do our old hand-me-downs wind up? Remember that Kiss Animalize tour shirt you wore constantly back in ’84? Well, you can buy it on eBay for upwards of $200! Who would spend that kind of scratch on an old ratty, smelly, shirt that’s probably been soaked in someone elses beer puke once or twice? There’s someone out there who will, I guarantee it! Would you spend it on that Bon Jovi t-shirt that you had from their homecoming concert at Giants Stadium back in June of ’89? Even if it was a special shirt produced and sold that night only?

Even at their height of success, Bon Jovi was never known to have the best concert t-shirts. Proving that statement is the Jovi tee pictured above, created for their ’89 concert in East Rutherford. The graphic on the front of the shirt begs to be discussed. The first noticeable flaw is that Jon Bon Jovi is clearly not “Giant-Man: the all Mighty and Powerful Rock God.” It’s not humanly possible that all 5 foot 5 of Jon Francis could dwarf Giants Stadium! C’mon people! Whoever drew this must’ve been mistakenly drawing Jon Mikl Thor in Rock and Roll Nightmare, because Jon Bon Jovi is not that Herculean. I also had no idea Jon was the Intercontinental Champion, either that or he’s wearing a gold encrusted chastity belt. Dear Jon Bon Jovi, The Sexy Armpit wishes you good luck in defending rock and roll in East Rutherford, New Jersey from all the evil creatures attempting to stop you from playing your concert.

For more vintage, overpriced concert tees check out Power Seller “stormcrow-vintage.”

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 11: Atlantic City

Posted on July 29, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Let’s take a look at 3 different Atlantic City shirts for this weeks installment of NJ T-Shirt Tuesday. It’s being said that Atlantic City is hurting and people aren’t gambling as much due to the economy, but every time I’m down there it doesn’t look that way to me! The casino’s are typically jam packed, especially on the weekend or when there’s a great concert going on at The Borgata. If you don’t believe me, jump on the parkway and head down there yourself!

The first shirt I found is a vintage ’70s black T-shirt that says “Atlantic City Board Walk Where the Stars Come Out.” It looks as if it was sold in one of those cheesy stores on the boardwalk that sells a bunch of crap and uses a hermit crab display as it’s way to sucker you into the store. Ahh, the Jersey Shore…classy. This one is available at Bonanzle. Oh, and don’t bother looking for the stars that supposedly come out to the A.C Boardwalk because no celebrity in their right mind would be roaming around the boardwalk, they’d be playing craps or in the lush suites at Harrah’s and The Borgata.

The next 2 offerings come from Retro Duck. I was pleased to see the unique designs on these old school decals as well as the various styles of shirts you can choose from.

The orange long sleeve tee matched with this sunny A.C decal. Available here.

The A.C Monkey is smokin’, drinkin’ and chillin’ and is available here.

RetroDuck has some cool designs for sure, but the unfortunate part about their site is that most of their shirt are created with custom ironed on decals. If you’re a t-shirt connoisseur like me, I’m sure you know all about the inevitable fate of these decals after several washings. Even with proper care and air drying, these babies are bound to deteriorate, but the decal is part of the appeal. I give credit to Retro Duck for selling these obscure vintage looking A.C shirts!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 10: The Sopranos T-Shirts

Posted on July 22, 2009 by sexyarmpit

I woke up this morning…had a T-Shirt idea in my eyes. Allright, so the lyrics to Alabama 3’s Sopranos theme song don’t necessarily translate into a winning blog post joke. But it has been on my mind that The Sopranos has not been represented here on T-Shirt Tuesday. What a crime! One might think that I was roughed up a little by Mr. Silvio Dante in order to keep my mouth shut, but who cares? Do you think I’m going to listen to those guys? Let them try beating me again because I have a mind of my own, one that veers off frequently throughout the day into daydreams where I am a guy named Kevin Finnerty. Jeez, maybe all those beatings have taken their toll! Now fix me a capicola sand. with peppers so we can get down to business, and make sure this room isn’t tapped!

Word has come down that ChasingTheFrog.com has assembled quite a haul of links to stores that sell Sopranos shirts, hats, and other collectibles. This stuff fell off a truck so it’s hot! Let’s take a look at some of the T-Shirts they’re featuring:

You can find about a hundred different Bada Bing variations on Cafe Press, but this version is from the store Funny T-Shirts from seller “ybiaw.” Next is the Barone Sanitation shirt from Cafe Press seller “strk3.” One of my personal favorite T-Shirts shops is Stylin’ Online. They can be a little pricey at times but they’ve got an awesome selection. This Sopranos shirt they are offering specifically mentions New Jersey! Of course these are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Sopranos tees, so we’ll delve deeper in future posts.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 9: Bikinis or Wife Beaters?

Posted on July 8, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Male Sexy Armpit readers will most likely cast their vote for BIKINIS, but don’t count Wife Beaters out so quickly in this match up. Sure it’s a nice visual to think about a blazing hot day at the Jersey shore watching a smoking hot Jersey girl make her way out of the crystal blue water, OK maybe not so much crystal blue as it is murky green, but you catch my drift. Of course it’s not like watching Ursula Andress slither out of the water in Dr. No, but it’s the closest we come to that kind of sex appeal here in a state blanketed with toxic waste. It’s a miracle all the girls at the shore aren’t popping out of the water looking like mutated 3-eyed zombies. Perhaps it’s the fact that we have some decent women in this state that they’re all so proud of themselves that they’re “Jersey girls?” Instead of bragging about being Jersey girls why don’t they just say “Yay! we’re not mutants!” that’s what the t-shirts should be saying.

Without hesitation the choice between Bikinis and Wife Beaters would be a no brainer, but once you disassociate the wife beater from the greasy fat guy on the couch eating chicken, then we have ourselves a contest. Believe it or not, the Guinea Tee or A-Shirt as it’s known, can also look good on a woman! No shit you say? Just erase all the bad memories of hairy backed slimeballs who have given these useless styled undershirts a bad name. Hell, they gave these shirts such a bad name that their inclination for domestic abuse snowballed into becoming a widely accepted nickname for the shirts. So before you completely lose all hope for the regulation jersey for men who beat their wives, think about the lovely, doting wife with big boobs posing ever so innocently in a semi-see-through wife beater for their cold, uncaring husband. Her headlights are on and all they want is some attention, can’t we just give them that? Ahh, Who the f–k am I kidding? BIKINIS!!!

This week, the fine T-shirts pictured above are available through BurnTees.com where they offer all kinds of funny and sarcastic New Jersey themed shirts in addition to a host of others. Check them out!