t-shirt Archives - Page 12 of 14

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 8: I Love D’Jais

Posted on July 1, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Not even McCarren International Airport in Las Vegas is exempt from having a real live, genuine New Jersey guido leave his mark there. And not even the NJ guido in his “plane clothes” can escape from having his picture snapped by The Sexy Armpit.

There’s nothing worse than waiting endless hours in the airport seating area for your flight to board. You could imagine my wide-eyed amazement when I looked directly in front of me and saw a guido wearing a shirt that he could get away with wearing only in Belmar, NJ OR 2,000 miles away from NJ. This guy’s shirt had “I (heart) D’Jais” printed on it. Trust me, my Corey Feldman Center for the Arts T-Shirt is radically more publicly acceptable than this. He may as well have been wearing a shirt that said “I’m a huge guido,” because that’s exactly what that shirt translates to.

It was like a National Geographic episode where we have a bird’s eye view of the guido secreting his cologne/B.O stench and talking obnoxiously on his cell phone. It was a rare occasion to have such a photo op since the guido’s blown out hair was concealed by a hat, he wasn’t wearing tight black pants, and there was also the absence of a tight, shiny, purple button down shirt. The tan was still prevalent which is indicated by the blatant gun show that he’s putting on for the poor disinterested folks waiting for their flight.

Right now, most of you not from New Jersey are saying what the hell is D’Jais? Well, in short, it’s the guido capital of the entire universe. If space aliens were to tune in their “guidar,” a HUGE blip would appear blinking incessantly like a strobe light at D’Jais in Belmar, NJ. You can tell by their websites ridiculously loud thumping beats that dudes go there to dance like idiots and sweat like maniacs. The guys that go there are so cool Richard Grieco couldn’t even touch them.

No self respecting human being should step off the airplane with an “I Love D’Jais” shirt. What’s crazy is that this guy was parading around Las Vegas with this shirt on, proud as a peacock. Of course, as soon as that thought crossed my mind, we hopped on the plane and noticed him slip an Ed Hardy shirt over this one. I guess he didn’t heart D’Jais that much.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 7: Artist Tom Krohne

Posted on June 24, 2009 by sexyarmpit

I’ve been going on the internet for over 15 years and I’m still totally amazed at the stuff I come across. You never know what kind of results a Google search will deliver to you, but if you use the right terms you’ll surely find stuff you didn’t even know you were looking for. A prime example is how I found Tom Krohne, a freelance illustrator who’s got a boner for horror movies and monsters of pop culture!

Krohne’s T-shirts: Jersey Devil X-ing and The Jersey Devil: Terrorizing NJ since 1735

While doing routine research for my weekly T-Shirt column, I found that Cafe Press appeared in many results for New Jersey related T-Shirts. I must admit that, in a way, I was sort of disappointed. I’m always hoping to find some mind blowing piece of news like Perez Hilton wiped his bloody face with a New Jersey T-Shirt right after he experienced will.i.am’s right hook. I’d consider that to be quite a showing for NJ T-Shirt Tuesday. But sometimes I can settle for more subtle triumphs, like finding a superior artist such as Tom Krohne. His Cafe Press store not only features Jersey Devil T-Shirts, hats, and hoodies, but also breakfast cereal monsters and other oddities that are worth checking out.

Jersey Devil with State Backdrop and the metalicious “1909 Outta The Pines Tour”

Usually it’s a crap shoot with Cafe Press. Finding a storefront that features a slew of imaginative and cool looking designs is a rarity. Too many of the stores feature products with one boring logo. I’m not out to disrespect any of the hard work that goes into the various Cafe Press stores, but I will say that when you come across a store like Tom Krohne’s, it makes the others pale in comparison.

Tom Krohne’s Cafe Press store is located here!

Tom Krohne’s blog is located here!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 6: Wet Hot American Summer

Posted on June 17, 2009 by sexyarmpit

You get a F for today if you’ve never seen Wet Hot American Summer. Shame on you! It’s an f’n classic! The summer camp comedy set in 1981, is chock full of comedians you love. You actually get an F-minus if you’ve only caught bits and pieces on Comedy Central at 3am once because you were bombed out of your mind, and the TV was already tuned to Comedy Central when you flipped the TV on. That’s even more feeble than completely not having seen it at all. With that said, if you are from Jersey you’ll greatly appreciate the NJ references, specifically the T-Shirts!

McKinley (Michael Ian Black) dons an awesome Clifton High School Track ringer T-Shirt throughout the film, while Gary (A.D Miles) rocks a Betty Jane Tavern Tee, which used to be an actual bar that existed in Lake Hopatcong, NJ. Both of these shirts are available at Found Item Clothing.

Pictured above is Caped Boy, a possible precursor to Augie in Role Models. This is his studly attempt at enticing the girls at camp: “Excuse me, ladies. You may remember me as the guy who came to dinner a few weeks ago with underwear on my head. My name is Keith Stat from Millburn, New Jersey. State bird, the mosquito. And as you may have heard, I am recently a crowned class B dungeon master. So, if any of you would like to play D&D today, please speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Here’s a few more reasons why NJ is so prevalent in a film that’s supposed to take place in Maine:

Paul Rudd = born in Passaic, NJ

Janeane Garofalo = born in Newton, NJ

Michael Showalter = born in Princeton, NJ

and one of my all time favorites,

Michael Ian Black = moved to Hillsborough, NJ when he was young!

If you enjoyed Role Models, then you’ll definitely laugh your ass off at this one. Also look out for one of Bradley Cooper’s early roles, you know…that guy from Wedding Crashers…and that other one you may have heard of…The Hangover.

For an awesome blog dedicated to the coolest T-Shirts head over to Preshrunk.org.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 5

Posted on June 9, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Here’s another set of New Jersey t-shirts for this week! There’s so many out there that this column could go on forever. Let’s take a look at a few that I found for the 5th installment: “Friends Don’t Let Friends Live in New Jersey” is available through JerseyGood.com. “Welcome to New Jersey, Don’t Worry We Hate You Too!” shirt is from SolidThreads.com. “I’m From New Jersey…Deal With It” is offered at JerseyGirlUSA.com. Head over to these fine online stores and check out all of their great New Jersey related tees!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 4: Marc Ecko Rutgers Line

Posted on June 3, 2009 by sexyarmpit

At first glance, choice selections from Marc Ecko’s various clothing lines look way too cool for me to wear. If there’s no Batman symbol or no trace of Gob from Arrested Development, I won’t even try to put the shirt on. In the case of Ecko’s clothing line, I must make an exception. This guy is responsible for really some freakin’ cool and inventive attire. It takes a brave company to give Star Wars proper respect in the apparel market, and Ecko did just that. T ake a look at an old Armpit post where I snapped some pics of Vader, Yoda, Chewie and a Stormtrooper modeling the Ecko Star Wars line at Macy’s. Honestly, even though he’ll deny it, Vader was totally making love to the camera. Chewbacca may very well be the next Hansel, he’s so hot right now. Well, actually, he didn’t do that great at all, he was awkward, but I shot him a thumbs up anyway since it’s not wise to upset a Wookie.

In addition to the Star Wars line, the company is also responsible for the Ecko Unlimited, Zoo-York, MMA, and G-Unit lines, and has also teamed up with the tween queens Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens. In 2008, Ecko, a major proponent of New Jersey and former Rutgers University student, designed an entire clothing line inspired by NJ’s Scarlet Knights last year.

Ecko, who grew up in Lakewood NJ, now resides in an old school for girls in Bernardsville that looks like a castle from Harry Potter.

You can find these in the Limited Editions section of ShopEcko.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 3: Wedding Daze

Posted on May 27, 2009 by sexyarmpit

In the criminally overlooked movie Wedding Daze, aka The Pleasure of Your Company, 2006 Ted (Michael Weston) is damn proud to wear his “I Lost My Ass in Atlantic City” shirt. I know what you’re saying right now “But Jay, he’s wearing a 3/4 sleeve, how could you possibly include this in a column that strictly spotlights T-Shirts?” And to that I say, very eloquently, “Give me a f–king break! The title of the column would sound stupid if it were just NJ Shirt Tuesday.” Boy, alliteration is really special, isn’t it?

Wedding Daze is written and directed by Michael Ian Black, who also played a major part in this evening’s Reaper finale. SAVE REAPER! (I’m going to need some alone time, I’m in mourning). I’m a big fan of Michael Ian Black’s writing and stand up, and I’m surprised it’s taken so long for me to finally see this film. I remembered to add it to my Amazon shopping cart and I’m glad I did. Daze stars Jersey boy Jason Biggs, the adorable Borat wife Isla Fisher, Rob Corddry, Hoboken, NJ native Joe Pantoliano (Joey Pants if you’re from Jersey), and Toxic Avenger: The Musical alumni Audra Blaser.

If you haven’t seen it, this is one of those films that flies under the radar but is eons better than any romatic comedy released in the past couple of years. This is one that you AND your girl will enjoy. As an added bonus, some scenes in the movie were were filmed in Atlantic City, NJ.

If you’re still skeptical about seeing it, I’ve got 3 words for ya: The Jewla Hoop!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 2

Posted on May 19, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Our first selection this week is another offering from Solid Threads‘ New Jersey collection. The front of the shirt states “I’m From New Jersey but I Don’t Like Bon Jovi,” and the back makes it crystal clear: “I LOVE HIM.” Believe it or not, there’s many Bon Jovi haters here in Jersey. I consider myself a big fan, but if they don’t start cranking out some old school rock records I may lose my Faith in the band! What’s with the silly country music? Give it up already guys! Just play “In and Out of Love” over and over again and we’ll be straight.

Our 2nd and 3rd T-shirts come from Dirty Jerseys who exclusively offer New Jersey tees that are pretty friggin’ funny. The shirt on the top right riffs on the Garden State Parkway logo claiming “It’s My Way or the Parkway.” This shirt truly combines the old saying “My Way or the Highway” with the “F— off” Jersey attitude all wrapped into the immediately recognizable GSP logo. The next one I chose from Dirty Jersey’s says “I Blew My Load in Atlantic City.” The innuendos can’t get anymore blatant than that one! This shirt is hysterical and TRUE because people are blowing their loads in the casino AND with hookers up in the hotel rooms!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday

Posted on May 13, 2009 by sexyarmpit

There’s an infinite number of New Jersey t-shirts for sale on the Internet. Whether you’re into parodies, sarcasm, or you desperately yearn to elicit an “OH SNAP!” from your friends, you’ll never have to look too far for the perfect shirt. Today, let’s take a look at just a few of the endless supply of New Jersey t- shirts available. I’ll make this a frequent segment since it would be a crime to leave out some of the other brilliant shirts I’ve discovered while scouring the Internet. In this column you won’t see a typical shirt featuring the outline of the state that simply says New Jersey, I’ll be concentrating on t-shirts with original ideas or funny concepts on them.

Our first set is from Solid Threads, a New Jersey company whose business skyrockted in the past 7 years. They’re proud of their state and ballsy enough to dedicate an entire section of their website to that fact! Solid Threads even started the NJFU club (It’s not what you think! It stands for the New Jersey Fraternal Union), a highly exclusive club in which only elite Jersey peeps can gain membership.

Foreign Objects Protruding From New Jersey!

Posted on January 21, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Now that I’m apparently splitting my time between New Jersey and Las Vegas, I figured you wouldn’t miss me too much if I went to Vegas again. In anticipation of my next trip out there this weekend, I post for your investigation 2 photos that I snapped that I can’t seem to figure out.

Hanging from the ceiling of the restaurant America, in New York, New York in Las Vegas (who coincidentally had an awesome veggie burger with fresh avocado strips on it) was a model of the entire United States. Each state had a miniature trademark, for instance, Pennsylvania featured the Liberty Bell, New York City had skyscrapers, and upstate New York had apples.

What perplexed me for the entire trip was the enigmatic objects that were jammed into New Jersey.

Dammit, Jersey gets so much flack all the time and now I discover THIS! Why is everyone always shitting all over New Jersey?

What in the hell is that shit on NJ? Obviously anyone in their right mind can see that there’s a slot machine there to signify Atlantic City, but what about the other crap? Up north there’s some sort of Leaning Tower of Pisa. I haven’t the slightest clue what it’s supposed to be. Down in south Jersey, what I can see with the best of my ability is some weird looking roasted red pepper. There’s no chance that’s what it is, but I’ll be damned if someone tries to convince me it’s The Jersey Devil or something. If that’s what it’s supposed to be it’s the shittiest likeness of The Jersey Devil in the history of ceiling hung models of the U.S. Where the fuck is the Franklin Mint when you need them? Damn their veggie burgers are kickass but their version of New Jersey is all out of whack. Sure New York, New York gets it’s own state right but they f–k New Jersey up royally. Why don’t they give up this stupid grudge already?

I couldn’t resist adding this picture I took of the exterior of some cheesy stores on the Vegas strip. Notice the airbrushed t-shirts on the left.

The first shirt is classic: I Love to Fart a.k.a I Heart to Fart! Oh man, this is the best valentine’s day gift for a person who loves to fart. I’m pretty sure there’s others in the high fashion line such as “I love to take toxic dumps” and I Love “I Heart” Shirts. Watch out because Mark Ecko and Ed Hardy will be releasing their own versions of these pretty soon. Get these originals while you can since the designer brands will be $150 a pop.

If it’s possible, the shirts grow more tasteless from left to right, but let’s be honest…Vegas isn’t the classiest place in the country.

This next shirt features a stick figure going down on another stick figure. It reads: Warning: Choking Hazard! Package contains large parts Keep out of reach of small women.

Last and finally not least, the Warner Brother’s logo has been paid the ultimate tribute. If you see ‘da police Warn a Brother!

Battle Damage He-Man T-Shirt Winner!

Posted on December 11, 2008 by sexyarmpit

The rules of the He-Man T-Shirt contest:

1) If you were He-Man, what Eternian/Etherian girl would you want to bang and why? ***This can include anyone from Queen Marlena (but your my mo—) to Frosta

2) What would you (as He-Man) for your first date with her? I love being Chuck Woolery, he’s an idol of mine.

Obviously I’m not eligible to enter my own contest, but if I was, it would definitely be a toss up between Glimmer and Frosta. I’m good either way. Glimmer’s deceiving because she’s a goody two shoes on the outside but she’s a hardcore party girl so don’t let her fool you. At least Frosta is blatant about her sexual attraction to He-Man. I think if I had a date with Frosta we might go to a nice little dinner at The Melting Pot just to be ironic. From then on it’s over the top perversion, so I won’t even go into detail. See, I almost had you! You thought I was going to settle for just Frosta? Silly you! If you can recall just a few sentences back I described how Glimmer was a real party whore, so she’s obviously going to be down for an “etherian ethreeway” as it’s known in those parts. All while you’re trying to tag two Etherian dames, you need to keep your eyes peeled because somewhere around your bedroom Loo-kee is hiding and you have to find that cagey, multicolored motherfucker.

Even though I only received 3 “official” entries it was difficult choosing a winner. By official I mean your entry isn’t eligible if you tell me your answer when I run into you while I’m at the grocery store picking up milk. The winning of He-Man T-Shirts is serious business! I came to my final decision today and I thank the 3 people who participated. I feel honored that my Sexy Armpit T-Shirt giveaway during Halloween was a runaway success compared to this one. I really thought more people would be clamoring for an obscure He-Man Tee, but who knows…the winner may just have this baby up on eBay as soon as they receive it! And now let’s take a look at the entries:

Laura from New Jersey wrote:

Since I’ll assume that I’m probably one of the only girls who entered this contest, I decided to take a few liberties. Sure I could pick any of the “hot” ladies in the world of MOTU but to the chagrin of many guys out there reading this, I’m just not into chicks. So, while I’d like to say that Catra is a dirty little minx and I want her paws all over me, that’s sadly not the case. I’m sorry.

I’m going to change the rules a bit since Jay didn’t think that a girl would want to enter. With that said, any guy reading my entry will automatically think I’d pick He-Man or Bow to go out on a date with but that’s surprisingly not the case at all.

My answer would be Orko. Just thinking of him working his magic on me gets me HOT! Even though his spells usually turn out disastrous I definitely give him credit for trying so hard. Not too many guys out there give such an incredible effort like Orko. Sometimes, it’s more charming when a girl sees a guy really trying and being creative rather than a jerk who acts like he’s God’s gift and everything he does in bed is perfect. OK, ok, the real reason why I chose Orko? He had THE BIG “O” on his chest!

Eric “Bubba Shelby” from California wrote:

Here are my answers (as He-Man of course!)

1) Madame Razz. I watch “Desperate Housewives,” I have every Teen Beat magazine issue
that features Ashton Kutcher, and my favorite film this summer was “Sex and The City,” so I know all about the Cougars! Rowr!

2) Obviously it would all begin when I held aloft my magic sword and said “I have the Poweeeeeeerrrrrr!!!!” I would then point my throbbing power sword at the quivering pussy and ZAP – That pussy will ROAR! After that I’ll strike a quick manly pose, glance from side to side, and run away.

Donovan Jacob S. from Gloucestershire, England:
I chose Zilora:

1) Zilora…isn’t it obvious? She’s got hypnotic spiral breast coverings!

2) I would lure her to Zodac’s sex dungeon: Zodac’s Pleasure Shack, where Fisto would be waiting to perform his “trademark specialty” and Modulok would be ready with his “Mod-u-cock.” I’d take pictures and make a special ViewMaster disc to commemorate the event…

It was a close call between Eric and Donovan. Thinking of Madam Razz as a cougar is pretty damn funny but I ultimately had to go with Donovan’s genius creation of Zodac’s Pleasure Shack and the Fisto mention (he’s one of my favorites). How awesome would it be if we had cameras that took pictures directly to a Viewmaster reel? That would kick ass! Congratulations Donovan, you are a visionary and the winner of the He-Man Battle Damage T-Shirt! I had no idea The Sexy Armpit was being read in England! Unfortunately, the only parting gift I have for the contestants is a sincere THANK YOU to Eric and Laura for entering! I know…that’s a pretty lame parting gift, but it’s pretty low budget here at the Armpit.