THE MEDICI IRIS by Max Medford: Book Review

In my early 20s I went through a period of boredom. I was dying for something out of the ordinary to happen. Typically, college and dating would be enough to keep things exciting, but I’d been living in a nice little suburban bubble for my entire life. I was craving some intrigue…something unknown. Comic books, movies, and episodes of The Twilight Zone and Amazing Stories strove to stimulate what I convinced myself was a stagnant existence. Eventually, here and there, things started to happen. Nothing earth shattering, but occasionally, some random amusing shit went down and inspired me to write about it, although it was nothing quite as cool and bizarre as what happened to fellow Jersey guy Wes Barino in Max Medford’s first novel, The Medici Iris.

During the the time I spent with this book, I got a few “what are you reading?” inquiries. Thinking of how to sum this book up and provide an answer to that was a bit of a challenge, but all I had to do was look right there at the bottom of page one: “A tale of murder, sex, drugs…and horticulture.” If that’s not enough of a description, here’s a few key words for you:

Beer, bar trivia games, organized crime, drugs, mysterious monks, strippers, corrupt cops, and crimson colored flowers. More than enough to elicit your attention I gather.

The characters Medford embroils into these exploits feel familiar. From the get go, we become acquainted with Wes Barino, our chain smokin’, sub makin’ main character. Right away I put myself in his shoes and even though he’s supposed to be twenty-something, I pretended he was thirty-something. Wes drives an old Chrysler LeBaron, a detail that I got a kick out of since that was my first car. He’s also a master at the bar trivia game, Quiztouch, a diversion that he’s perfected at a nearby Houlihan’s while drinking with his best friend, Scott, who trolls the establishment for women.

To me, Scott wasn’t as likable as some classic best friends like Stiles from Teen Wolf for instance. I always use that comparison, even though Stiles was occasionally kind of a douche as well. I pictured Scott to be played by Kevin Connolly a.k.a “E” from HBO’s Entourage, sort of annoying, tries too hard, but a fiercely loyal friend. Scott, who drives an IROC, usually goes a little overboard and he’s clearly a bad influence on Wes, who usually keeps his nose clean, well, not always.

You’ll be able to relate to Medford’s real dialogue, especially between Wes and Scott. Their banter sounds like it might have been transcribed from a conversation you had while hanging out with your friend the other night.

It comes to Wes and Scott’s attention that the Quiztouch game is holding a grand competition to determine the national champion of the game in Texas. Before the big championship, they’ll hold a regional tournament to see who advances. Wes enters. It’s a chance for him to do something that he’s really good at while possibly winning a small jackpot. And as Clark Griswold once said “Getting there is half the fun, you know that!” Since I think of everything in film terms, the quest to get to the big game tournament reminded me of “Video Armageddon” in 1989’s The Wizard.

Before Wes and Scott embark on their quest, there’s a whole load of other drama going on. Wes has to deal with his on-again off-again girlfriend who’s made up of Italian stereotypes, Sam, but he can’t keep his mind off her. She thinks Wes needs to quit the sub shop and do something more worthwhile with his life. Then there’s also his sister who’s having issues of her own with her husband who’s a cop keeping tabs on Wes. As if that’s not enough, there’s mysterious messages forming on her fridge. Oh and one more, Wes has an enigmatic flower growing in his yard that is devouring his attention.

Wes can barely focus on all this stuff, but the Quiztouch competition requires ultimate mental sharpness. Piling on even more tension, Wes has been having weird blackouts which have him visiting the doctor. It can’t seem to get much crazier until Wes and Scott get appointed delivery boys. They are bestowed with the precarious task of making a drop-off of a mysterious, locked duffel bag on their journey.

Geographical details of The Medici Iris obviously provide a nice frame of reference if you’re from Jersey or even have a loose knowledge of it from seeing it on TV. Naturally, for a Jersey freak like me, the Garden State backdrop made me feel even more like I was right there with Wes and his buddy Scott in the book. The duo traverses New Jersey from Montclair and Newark all the way down to the Pine Barrens. The NJ newspaper, The Star Ledger, is also makes a few prominent appearances.

Also a regional thing, the usage of Sub/Hoagie in vernacular gets brought up. Personally, I’ve never actually heard anyone refer to a sub sandwich as a hoagie, but one of our convenience store chains, WaWa, which happens to be represented in the book, sells these sandwiches under the guise of Hoagies, NOT subs. I give them a pass because they make decent subs, even though they’re clearly weirdos. What’s weirder, one customer at the sub-shop in the book refers to a sub as a “grinder,” and is appropriately scolded for it.

I had no idea what to expect The Medici Iris, especially since the plot synopsis sounded all over the place. I found myself tearing through the book just to see how the hell it was going to come together. I wasn’t frustrated by all the twists, turns, and red herrings in the least, in fact, they enticed me even more.  Medford methodically builds a mondo amount of suspense as the story ascends to it’s rousing finale. All the while ancillary thrills and mini cliffhangers provide a lot fun along the way. Even after the first 50 pages I wasn’t entirely sure where the book was taking me, but all I knew was that it was amusing and I thoroughly enjoyed the story that’s constructed like a wild mouse roller coaster.

The Medici Iris satisfied my desire for “something cool to happen,” while allowing me to stay out of trouble altogether. If you read this book you might wind up asking yourself “why can’t this stuff happen to me?” Wes and Scott ran into a few of those surreal experiences – the kind of times where you feel like they may not really be happening, so you have to pinch yourself. Competently, Medford’s intertwining plot unfolds in a similar way to an Elmore Leonard crime novel or in films like 1994’s Pulp Fiction and 1999’s Go, and even the slacker masterpiece Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

The style of the adventure incorporated stream of consciousness and it felt very cinematic. If you’re a fan of films like 1985’s After Hours and Into the Night, you’ll dig this. While I definitely recommend this book to my fellow New Jerseyans, I also say that if you have an insatiable desire for never-ending stories, fantastic voyages, and excellent adventures, I suggest you read The Medici Iris. It may change the way you look at stuff.

TRIBUTE TO A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY: JAMES GANDOLFINI 1961-2013 by Nick “NJ” Holden

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Our feature writer Nick “NJ” Holden pays respect to Jersey icon 
James Gandolfini a.k. Tony Soprano
Governor Chris Christie called James Gandolfini, who died unexpectedly yesterday at the age of 51, “a true Jersey guy”, and while the governor has made some questionable statements and decisions as the head of the state, he really hit the nail on the head. Not only was Gandolfini a true New Jerseyan (born in Westwood, raised in Park Ridge, and graduate of Rutgers University), he took a murdering, lying, cheating, neurotic gangster named Tony Soprano and have him a soul on the HBO show The Sopranos. But he was much more than a gangster on television, for he was a true character actor capable of roles on Broadway and on the big screen.

James Gandolfini first came to prominence as a violent enforcer in True Romance, where he had a memorable (albeit brutal and bloody) encounter with Patricia Arquette. Given his size (6’1”), it would be easy to typecast him as the heavy. But his acting ability and charm won him a variety of roles: a kind-hearted Hollywood stuntman (Get Shorty opposite fellow NJ’er John Travolta), a gruff working-class stiff babysitting a spoiled ad exec (Surviving Christmas), and even the Mayor of New York (The Taking of Pelham 1, 2, 3). 
I remember watching Zero Dark Thirty in a packed AMC Theater at the Westfield Garden State Plaza Mall, totally immersed in the action, when about mid-way through the movie, Gandolfini pops up. The audience was stunned, whispering in hushed tones “It’s Tony Soprano!”, but stopped once he began speaking. Gone was the heavy bravado and Italian accent made famous every Sunday night and on-screen was a strict but open-minded CIA director inquiring about a compound that may or may not house the most wanted man on the face of the earth. A personal favorite of mine is his role as Woody Dumas, a tough DEA agent with a lisp and unfortunate habit of getting hit by cars in the little-seen horror/action/romance/comedy Perdita Durango, also known as Dance with the Devil from Spanish director Alex de la Iglesia. Acting alongside Rosie Perez and a then-unknown Javier Bardem, Gandolfini manages to steal every scene he’s in while keeping his tongue firmly in cheek among the madness.

James Gandolfini isn’t the only successful Jersey-born actor (Abbott and Costello, Ed Harris, Michael Douglas, Jack Nicholson), but he was the first to fully embrace his roots as well as his fame and keep a balance on both. He rooted for the Scarlet Knights and would appear on the sidelines. He produced the documentaries Alive Day Memories: Home from Iraq in which he interviewed 10 injured Iraq War veterans and Wartorn. He was also a fixture in the Tri-State area, appearing at dinners, lectures, and other public functions, all the while smiling and keeping his feet planted on the ground. And despite the credit that was showered upon Jersey Shore for revitalizing New Jersey, especially Seaside Heights, The Sopranos was really responsible for putting the Garden State back on the map, using locals in Kearny, Wayne, North Caldwell, and most notably Lodi (the strip club on the series Bada Bing! is actually Satin Dolls). Even after the show’s finale in 2007, fans from all parts of the globe can still see the actual shooting locations and other points of interest via The Sopranos Sites Tour (http://onlocationtours.com/tour/sopranos/), an four-hour bus tour. 
So with a heavy heart, the Sexy Armpit and I bid James Gandolfini a fond farewell and extend our deepest sympathies to his family, friends, and co-stars.

A Sexy Superman Celebration!

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Call the character hokey or old fashioned all you want, Superman is and always will be the quintessential superhero. The release of the Man of Steel may not come with the same type of fanfare as Batman or The Avengers films, but to DC fans and pretty much anyone who has ever worn a Superman t-shirt, this is a HUGE event.

Personally, I felt Superman Returns got a slightly bad rap. It’s by no means amazing, but I thought Brandon Routh made an excellent Superman and Kevin Spacey was entertaining as Lex Luthor. It worked merely as a very late on the mark sequel to Superman II, but that’s about it. Plus, I haven’t even seen Man of Steel and I already know that Amy Adams will be a much better Lois Lane than Kate Bosworth.

Many of you have already seen the Man of Steel (a.k.a lucky bastards). Lots of cool “biz” folks, journalists, and those who pounced at the chance to get into Wal-Mart’s preview showing have already witnessed Zack Snyder’s modern take on the icon. Reviews have been coming in for a few days and they are largely positive which is great news. I don’t think I’m going to be disappointed, but I don’t know when I’m going to be able to get to the theater to see it. Cue the “awwww” crowd sound effect or the violins – your choice. So to keep myself from getting too antsy in the mean time, I whipped up a video for you.

If you’re getting geared up for the Man of Steel, then I ask you to join me in celebrating this epic event by watching the latest video from The Sexy Armpit. It’s the Sexy Armpit Superman Celebration! I show off some of my early Superman collectibles that I’ve held onto for many years, and naturally, I also run down a few Jersey connections all while being pestered by Sludgey. It’s a fun time! Please check it out and give it a thumbs up if you approve. Thank you!

BatDave and Buster: A NJ-Made Batman Fan Film

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As we enter the summer, I’m taking it easy over here at The Sexy Armpit. Meanwhile, over at the Bat-Blog, Tommy the bat-bloggin’ maniac, broke the story about a made in NJ bat-film hitting YouTube. Unlike The Sexy Armpit show, which was produced for basically nothing aside from personal time, this fan film had a budget of $400 bucks. Similar to many other fan-films floating around the Internet, this one was also a labor of love.

Here’s their plot synopsis: A regular guy from New Jersey and his loyal dog who both constantly try to emulate the crime-fighting ways of their childhood hero ‘The Batman’ find themselves drawn into a wacky manhunt for The Joker and a brutal fight to the death with the murderous Bane.

BatDave and Buster was written and filmed by a local bat-fan nicknamed Bat-Dave who appears on the Bat-Blog frequently and heads to many of the local NJ pop culture conventions. The film was directed and edited by BatDave’s friend Dennis Pellicano. As mentioned on their YouTube page, the cast is comprised entirely of “…friends, family members, fellow Batman fans, and talented regional cosplayers.” Clocking in at nearly a full hour, you can make some popcorn and add this to your next Bat-viewing marathon!

Guide For a Geeked Out Summer in New Jersey by The Sexy Armpit

Sometimes I find myself taking for granted the amount of cool events that happen here in New Jersey. I remember times when I used to wish that I lived in a place where more cool shit happens, but I really have nothing to complain about. Of course, it’s not like there’s celebrities walking down the street like in Hollywood, and it’s not like we have a night life like in Vegas or Miami, but if you’re a geek, we’ve sure as hell got you covered! What follows is a list of cool events and things to do in the Garden State from now until the end of the summer. Trust me, you won’t have a cruel summer if you let The Sexy Armpit show you how to sand the deck.

6/1, 6/2, 6/8, 6/9 New Jersey Renaissance Faire
I need not explain what a Renaissance Faire is, this is New Jersey’s version takes place in Borden town. http://www.njrenfaire.com/Home.html

6/2 Rocky Horror Picture Show
Live production at Asbury Lanes. http://www.asburylanes.com/schedule.htm

6/6 Roxy’s Gong Wild – Talent & Game Show
Have some cocktails and show off your talent in front of the judges to win big prizes. Roxy & Duke’s Roadhouse, Dunellen. http://www.roxyanddukes.com

6/6 An Evening with Actor Joey Pantoliano
If the line “Let’s kill each other over the pepperoni” is commonly bandied around on pizza night at your house, then you may want to attend an evening with Joey Pants at The Count Basie theater in Red Bank. http://www.countbasietheatre.org/calendar/show/show.asp?id=43248426

6/8, 6/9 Pirates Weekend
In case you didn’t get your fill of puffy sleeved shirts, or if you dig those shirts and you just like to grab some booty in them, head to the Pirates and Privateers Weekend in Berkley Township June 8th and 9th. http://www.bloodyhistorical.us/festival/

6/8 Billy Idol
It’s a nice day to see a Billy Idol concert. House of Blues in Atlantic City. http://www.houseofblues.com/venues/clubvenues/atlanticcity/

6/8 Legends of the Ring 16
A host of wrestling stars from past and present gather to meet fans for the longest running wrestling convention in the Northeast at the Crown Plaza in Monroe. Scheduled to appear: Sting, Edge, Dusty Rhodes and about 50 others! http://www.legendsofthering.com

6/11 Steve Schirippa
Soprano’s star signs his new book Big Daddy’s Rules at Bookends in Ridgewood. http://www.book-ends.com/

6/15 Zombie Bikini Carwash
“Get your car washed by the hottest bikini zombies you will ever see.” The Rail, Richland, NJ.

6/15 The Burlesquepades
Ice Capades + Burlesque at Asbury Lanes. http://www.asburylanes.com/schedule.htm

Delsea Drive-In Theatre
The Man of Steel and The Long Ranger are characters that have been around for quite a long time. They deserve some respect, so do it up old school for ’em. See these summer blockbusters in an actual original drive-in theatre. NJ’s only drive-in theatre was built in 1949, and since 2004, after a long hiatus, it’s been showing first run movies. http://www.delseadrive-in.com/nowplaying.php

6/18 Kings of the Mic Tour
The fact that L.L Cool J, Ice Cube, Public Enemy, De Le Soul are on a package tour makes me feel kinda weird…I mean OLD. These are rap and hip-hop legends so this is an easy way to check out all of them at once. Coming to NJPac in Newark. http://www.njpac.org/events/detail/authentic-hip-hop

6/19 George The Animal Steele
Steele signs his new book, Animal at Bookends in Ridgewood. http://www.book-ends.com/

6/21 Short Film Festival and Networking Reception
Submit your film or just come to watch and meet the filmmakers at the Union County Performing Arts Center in Rahway. Live Music, free food, and independent short films. http://www.rahwayfilmfest.com

7/5 WWE Live
The way things are going right now in the WWE, your cousin Ned’s backyard fireworks display might be just as fun as seeing WWE Live in Wildwood. http://www.wwe.com/events/all/all/all/all/all/3000/mi/page-6

7/14 Jersey Shore Comic Book Show
Comics. Buy some. Free admission. Guest Artists. Forked River, NJ. https://www.facebook.com/JerseyShoreComicBookShow

7/20 Alice Cooper
Uncle Alice haunts the House of Blues in A.C. http://www.houseofblues.com/venues/clubvenues/atlanticcity/

7/20 11th Annual NJ State Ice Cream Festival
Ice cream tastings, contests, vendors, games, rides, food, and entertainment. Downtown Toms River. http://www.downtowntomsriver.com/icecream/festival.htm

7/26 – 7/28 4th Annual Visionary Tattoo Arts Festival, Asbury Park
Tattoos, artists, vendors, etc. for more info and tickets go here: http://visionarytattoofest.com

8/16 – 8/18  Monster Mania Horror Con
With the latest news that the creators of the Monster Mania Convention will be opening a store in New Jersey, it’s taking away from the announcements of guests at the next Monster Mania Convention in Cherry Hill. At the con you’ll be able to meet Carrie Fisher, Malcolm McDowell, and the cast of SyFy’s Being Human to name a few. Check out their official site for more guest announcements. http://www.monstermania.net/MMC25_GUESTS.html

8/18 – 8/25 JAWS on the Beach
Shore Flicks will be screening my favorite film to watch in the summer, JAWS, at multiple locations for FREE! The film will be projected on a huge screen on the beach or at waterfronts all along the Jersey Shore. That’s how they roll. It’s like a drive-in, but without the cars. I saw Batman on the beach in Asbury a few summers ago and it was awesome, but the only problem is when it’s really windy the screen starts to flap around. Either way, nothing beats watching Jaws on the beach at night. It’s the Jersey Shore equivalent of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, expect Jaws isn’t wearing lingerie…or singing. Go here for the full listing of films Shore Flicks will be presenting this summer: https://www.facebook.com/ShoreFlicks

8/18 NJ Collector’s Convention
Pretend you are the Toy Hunter and buy some stuff to sell or find some giant sized action figure you can buy and hold onto until you die like I do, or simply check out the costume contest, vendor tables with comics, video games, and all kinds of other collectibles. Holiday Inn, Cherry Hill. http://www.newjerseycollectorscon.com

Arcades and Nerf Battle Arenas
Get out of the heat and into an arcade. Spots like Yestercades, The Break, and the Silver Ball Museum offer a retro video gaming experience the way you remember it. Get into some adult style Nerf wars at the Airsoft Factory.

*If you would like me to list your event, or you think I should add one of interest, please contact me via twitter @sexyarmpit or e-mail sexyarmpit@comcast.net.

GREAT GEEK GORGE #8: Eating Katy Perry, Chiller Theatre, and 12″ Action Dolls!

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Welcome to the long winded 8th edition of Great Geek Gorge. This where I spew about some of the crap I bought or consumed recently and throw it all into one very random post. Today we’ll look at a new snack, some giant action figures, and some hot zombie mermaids.
 
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Katy Perry’s Kettle Corn Pop Chips
The thought of eating Katy Perry’s…chips…appeals to me. Like many of you, I also easily fall prey to product tie-ins. If Katy Perry was on the carton of Eggland’s Best, or growing her own line of organic watermelons (Katy’s watermelon’s…), or even a Campbell’s soup tie-in (Katy’s Clam Chowder), I’d be on line at the store as soon as they are released. You can see how it makes food more appealing. When I was a kid and went grocery shopping with my mom, anytime I saw Batman or Superman on the label of a peanut butter container, I nearly went into convulsions. Had to have it. Not much has changed.
Normally, I enjoy Pop Chips. They are a lighter alternative to other types of chips, but I can’t say I buy them often though because they seem pricey for a bag filled with air and just a few chips at the bottom. Hands down my favorite flavor is Barbecue – I could polish off a regular sized bag in no time. So when I saw a display of Katy Perry in Quick Check advertising her new Pop Chips flavor, it was obvious I went into my usual “buy two” mode. After tasting them I was disappointed that the Kettle Corn flavor wasn’t prominent enough. I don’t know if that means they weren’t sweet enough or what, but I will tell you that I don’t think it was necessary to make chips in the flavor of kettle corn when you can just buy a bag of actual kettle corn and bypass any possible disappointment. It’s like ordering steak-flavored chicken at a steakhouse. Katy should’ve just created her own candy line instead.
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Chiller Theater Expo – April 26th, 2013
 
Usually I find a few cool things at the Chiller Theater Expo here in N.J to share with you and the Spring 2013 installment yielded a couple of worthy items. A few weeks back, the pop culture and toy convention took over the castle themed Sheraton in Parsippany, NJ. Sure, the guest signings are great, but my favorite part is always the dealer rooms. Even though the rooms get a bit cramped, they are chock full of stuff that you can’t find anywhere else.

First I ran into my buddy Jessica Rajs from Gorgeous and Gory. Each year, Jess and her crew create a fantastic calendar featuring zombified pinup models. This year’s theme is mermaids. The photography and effects are incredible and the makeup is superb, so head over to Gorgeous and Gory to get one for yourself!

Cookie’s art. kicks. ass. Cookie’s own brand of art is inspired by punk rock and horror and is aptly named Rock and Roll Art School. I wasn’t familiar with Cookie before the last Chiller, but that’s the beauty of the event. I was walking around the dealer room and anytime I see neon colors or Lily Munster I stop right in my tracks. I’m easily distracted so this brightly colored painting of Lily was screaming for me to buy it, and I replied out loud immediately, “You don’t have to scream at me neaon Lily, you had me at “Ohhh Herman.” Check out Cookie’s collection of vibrant monster and tattoo art for sale at his Etsy shop! http://www.etsy.com/shop/RockNRollArtSchool
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WB Store 12″ DC Super Heroes Batman Figure – now with BONUS extraneous backstory!

Lately I’ve been on a kick of larger sized action figures – which are actually more like dolls. Obviously many male collectors don’t want to admit that they own dolls, and I will only admit it if it seriously reminds me of a freaking doll. If it’s 6″ inches tall or smaller and is made of plastic, it’s an action figure. Any bigger than that then the figure/doll war rages on.
Growing up, I had no use for any figure larger than my Kenner Super Powers or Star Wars figures. They were perfectly sized and very easy to collect. I came to the party a little late for the ’70s Mego phase, so the larger sized action-doll type figures (satisfying everyone, see?) with changeable clothes never appealed to me, and they really still don’t. I’m talking about these 12″-14″ monstrous sized plastic and vinyl figures. I always used to wonder why these giant collectibles were even getting made and I also wondered who was actually buying them since they seemed to sit on the shelves forever when I was a kid. For some reason though, within the past year or so, I’ve been having these urges to own several key figures of this size. If you ask me what my inspiration is, I can’t even tell you because I have absolutely no clue what brought this on. I only recently found out about the re-release of the 12″ Star Wars figures, but I am not going to let myself fall into that Sarlaac Pit of collecting. Maybe the culprit was when I picked up those 10″ Dark Knight Rises Batman and Bane figures? Now just stop it Jay. We can’t keep this going or I’m going to have to buy another place just for my toys.
Let me take you back to when I could care less about figures of this size. When the mall was the place to be, before eBay and Amazon became one of my favorite past times, I actually used to go to the mall with my friends. Yes, we physically ventured out of the house and into a place where you could put one foot in front of the other and transport yourself from store to store. Novel idea right? Many times we walked to the two nearby malls, (ahh we used to have so much ambition, right?) other times we got dropped off by our parents. Much like Shannon in Mallrats, I too used to have a shopping agenda, and much like Brody in Mallrats, I was there for comics.

The two malls in my vicinity no longer even have comic book shops, but back in the day there were a couple that I frequented like Heroes World and Comic Attitudes, among others. In addition to the comic shops, I always had to stop at music stores like Record Town and Sam Goody, and eventually I’d start browsing videos at Suncoast Motion Picture Company. There was also the Warner Brothers Studio Store which usually came through with some cool DC Super Hero swag that you couldn’t find anywhere else.

That was a long journey just to tell you that I found a badass black 12″ Batman figure at Chiller. This particular figure/doll is one I hadn’t seen since my days of actually walking around the mall. I was able to knock the price down enough and brought it home. I felt like this was a good score since this specific line is pretty scarce, even on eBay. And now I find myself on a quest for a few of his peeps so he has someone to hang out with. The funny part about this line of DC Superheroes is that when they were on the shelves it was like they didn’t exist to me. I hated every aspect of oversized figures. Now, I’m obsessed with the idea. Funny how things change in some respects, but I’m still such an easy target for slapping Katy Perry on a bag of chips as if I was a 7 year old girl.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 106: KILL Tour T-Shirt from Fright Rags

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Often, when something “limited edition” comes down the pike I just have to own it. A prime example is the KILL tour t-shirt that was released as a special edition by Fright Rags recently. Fright Rags is known for printing up genius, one of a kind horror tees, and this may be one of the best they ever conceived. Check it out and you can be the judge of that.

The KILL Tour T-shirt is inspired by the Destroyer album cover art from my favorite band, KISS. Anytime the world of horror combines with KISS, it’s a win-win. The t-shirt art includes Freddy, Chucky, Jason Voorhees, and Leatherface taking the place of KISS. What knocks this baseball style tee right out of the old Roosevelt Stadium is KILL’s tour stops are listed on the back just like an old vintage concert t-shirt! On KILL’s Decades of Destruction Tour, in honor of the release of the original Friday the 13th film, the band’s May 9th, 1980 tour stop was at Crystal Lake…in NEW JERSAAAY!

Previous releases that I also HAD TO HAVE included G.I Jason (the GI Joe/Jason Voorhees mashup) and one of their beautiful Friday the 13th The Final Chapter tees. Artist Jason Edmiston was responsible for the artwork on both the GI Jason tee as well as this KILL tour shirt, but the new one may take the cake. It’s a dead heat for me. What do you think? If you own the regular black t-shirt version of “KILL,” it’s slightly more accurate to the Destroyer cover, but I opted for the larger KILL logo on the baseball tee.

You can now see why I felt so compelled to make this shirt part of my wardrobe. But surprisingly, this shirt wasn’t released without criticism since it’s hard to please everyone. The flack on this shirt was that Michael Myers should’ve been in the artwork instead of Chucky. I’m not sure why that happened, but if Myers was on the shirt instead it would indeed be perfect. I’m not complaining one bit though, I think it was an awesome idea and I’d like to see more cool ideas like this from Fright Rags.

Back From Hiatus!

 

If you’re wondering where I’ve been, I haven’t gone anywhere, although I was distracted from blogging temporarily. I am back now though. During the short hiatus I did some writing for New Jersey’s most famous news outlet The Star Ledger/NJ.com. I covered one of my favorite things, WWE’s Wrestlemania – right here in New Jersey, and it was quite an awesome moment in my life. To top it off, the live broadcast of WWE Monday Night Raw from Izod Center (which was said to have the greatest crowd in recent history) the day after ‘Mania, showed a screen shot of one of my live reports during a montage. Being a small part of that show felt phenomenal.

A few other major events have been going on in personal life as well. Two of my close friends are getting married within the same week this month and I’m in both wedding parties. One of the guys is Mike @idiotatplay who co-stars in The Sexy Armpit show on our YouTube channel. Mind you, getting all dressed up is not something that I truly enjoy, but for these guys I don’t mind at all, and Mike’s letting us wear Chuck Taylor’s with the tuxedo’s, so it’s all good!

Wrestlemania Week Begins!

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I came up with the ad for how a New Jersey Wrestlemania should look!
We’ve been waiting a whole year since the announcement that Wrestlemania 29 would emanate from Metlife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ. Finally, the time is upon us! LIVE from the home of the Giants and the Jets, Wrestlemania 29 all goes down on Sunday April 7th, 2013 live on Pay-Per-View.

It’s been a long standing battle as to why the Giants and the Jets are referred to as New York teams when they actually play in New Jersey. The same thing is happening with Wrestlemania 29. All of the official logos and advertisements feature a NY/NJ combo rather than just NJ where the venue clearly is. I can understand the fact that the venue and the teams that play in it are shared by NY and NJ, but in wrestling terms there should be no debate.
I took it upon myself to bury this nonsense by fixing the official Wrestlemania ad. Rather than show The Rock, Brock Lesnar, and John Cena, like the original, I replaced them all with wrestlers from New Jersey. Featured in The Sexy Armpit version of the Wrestlemania ad is the late Bam Bam Bigelow, the walking condominium King Kong Bundy, Diamond Dallas Page, one of my favorite indie wrestlers Jay Lethal, and present WWE Superstar A.J Lee. Notice A.J is proudly wearing her Sexy Armpit C.M Punk style t-shirt.
It doesn’t stop there for the Jersey-fied ad. Not only is the Jersey City skyline pictured in the distance, but there’s also a special attraction match!
This grudge match will settle the score for who is more Jersey. Jersey Shore inspired wrestler Robbie E. of TNA Wrestling facing off against Randy “The Ram” Robinson who lives in New Jersey in one of my favorite films, The Wrestler. Considering Robbie E. was mentioned in the movie, this would be a cool match to see. Randy “The Ram” feels that Robbie E. is making a mockery of his home state and Robbie E. feels that The Ram is all washed up. *We’ve confirmed that Randy survived his last match against the Ayatollah and he has clearance from his doctor to wrestle.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 105: My Chemical Romance

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Some cool MCR T-Shirt designs

Wow, it’s been a while since I posted a T-Shirt Tuesday, so here we go! If you’re into the rock music scene you’ve probably heard by now that New Jersey’s My Chemical Romance announced their break-up last week to the dismay of their legion of passionate fans.

Often mislabeled and passed off as merely “emo punks,” MCR were more than just a rock band. Each member of the band became a larger than life comic book character in the same vein of The Beatles and KISS. They also created a vast mythology to go along with their music, storytelling like a goth-glam Springsteen times five. Perhaps they’ll go the way of Green Day and formulate a Welcome to the Black Parade Broadway show? I’d go see it.
Most recently in the world of MCR, and prior to releasing single tracks from an incomplete album, the band unleashed the under appreciated Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, a poppy, upbeat spectacle of rock, one which I admire and rotate on my iPod Classic often.

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After 12 years the band has called it quits, yet I feel that they still have more to accomplish music-wise. I’m hoping we’ll see a HUGE reunion tour in about 5 years. I can definitely see them rising to new heights and selling out stadiums in the future. After all, we need a band to be “thee band,” since there’s a major void in rock music nowadays. Rock in general has languished in the past several years so this split comes at a bad time. The world needs another revolutionary rock album and unfortunately MCR was on the short list of bands who could’ve created the next one.
As far as band t-shirts go, My Chem has always had some of the coolest looking tees. Their shirts are usually wearable in any context (i.e fashionable), meaning that some people may not realize it’s even a band shirt because they just look cool. Keep in mind, there are zillions of MCR shirts floating around, but today I bring you some pics of my favorites and a few that I own as well. Many of the designs of their badass t-shirts incorporate their logos, symbols, and characters from their songs. Here is a link to their official online store which is still open for business: http://store.mychemicalromance.com/?q=shop/featured