The New Jersey Steambath

Are you looking for a fun activity to do to your significant other? Well look no further than Urban Dictionary for a potpourri of different options that are sure to spice up any stale relationship.

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I’ve lived in Jersey my whole life and this is the first I’m hearing of the New Jersey Steambath a.k.a The NJ Sauna. Are 15 year olds writing the entries for Urban Dictionary? I really hope Urban Dictionary doesn’t permeate our culture like Wikipedia has or this world is going to straight into the shitter. Have you heard of the NJ Steambath, or am I living under a rock?

Jersey Shore Halloween Costumes

via Costume Craze and Fashionably Geek

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It’s inevitable that you’ll be seeing people at Halloween parties across the country dressing as Snooki, The Situation, and the rest of the Jersey Shore cast this year. Dressing as a member of the Jersey Shore cast is not only fairly easy to pull off, but you’re also guaranteed to get recognized and bothered to take many Facebook photos with party goers, no matter how ridiculous you look.

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You could probably slap together a more authentic costume based on your favorite Jersey Shore character on your own, but for the lazy ones out there, Costume Craze has whipped ’em out for you. The website is offering Snooki, The Situation, and DJ Pauly D costumes in deluxe and lower budget versions. For the cash strapped, you can be The Situation with the purchase of the cheap and easy equivalent of the Tuxedo T-Shirt complete with painted on abs.

I’m not surprised that nobody wants to dress as J-Woww. With that big shot attitude of her’s she’s not exactly inspiring a generation of J-Wowwnabes. Hey, if you really want to be original why don’t you just go as a giant grenade?

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 60: Bluto and Wimpy

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I grew up knowing him as Brutus, but he’s more commonly known as Bluto. No matter what he’s called I bet he’d fit in quite nicely with the sweaty, juiced up guidos down at the Jersey shore. In today’s first t-shirt, Bluto is pictured begging for you to hit him with your best shot, because he’s from New Jersey and obviously he loves pumping Pat Benatar’s Crimes of Passion CD while cruising up and down Ocean Avenue.

Wimpy is seen on the second tee defying all Popeye comic rules and regulations. Wimpy only eats hamburgers, not pork roll sandwiches! The front of the shirt claims that you can’t get REAL PORK ROLL anywhere else but New Jersey, and for some mysterious reason, that is true. Maybe if he was from Jersey he would be hooked on the previously posted Jersey Burger, that’s the best of both worlds. In the end, that cheapskate wouldn’t last a second in a Jersey diner because they wouldn’t stand for his wily hamburger scams.

For more of Popeye’s adventures in New Jersey check out Volume 45 of NJ T-Shirt Tuesday!

TNA’s Hardcore Justice Reunites Original ECW Crew

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I keep hearing “F*ck You Vince” chants linger in my head. The ferocity and passion of ECW fans fueled that anti-Vince McMahon chant, even though he IS the father of modern day professional wrestling. Why was the crowd audibly burying the Vin-man during the finale of TNA’s Hardcore Justice pay per view on Sunday night? Because Vince refused to give ECW the proper send off they deserved. After WWE consumed ECW they downgraded it into another secondary show. Do you think ECW was going to give up and die that easily? It turns out they didn’t need the name recognition of WWE Superstars, they didn’t need their own ring names or company name, and they didn’t even need their leader Paul Heyman to reign supreme.

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Former co-host of The Sexy Armpit Radio Show, The F.B.I’s Big Sal E. Graziano 
makes his summer residence at The Jersey Shore in Snooki’s pool house

Most of the guys who were called to appear at the TNA event were enthusiastic to relive a night of glory, and you know what? They deserve it. After Vince McMahon made ECW into a generic, stripped down WWE show, it ended the ECW legacy on a strange note. Do you even remember that Ezekial Jackson went out as the last ECW champion? The Abraham Washington Show? WWE Diva Tiffany as GM? It was definitely NOT a fitting send off. Regardless of what some “critics” are saying, Hardcore Justice succeeded. Aside from not hearing Joey Styles call the matches and the absence of Paul Heyman, for fans of ECW, this was a proper reunion.

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TNA wrestler Matt Morgan talked about how he used to be a bouncer at Bar A in Belmar, NJ when they held an ECW show in their volleyball sandpit. “People came by the drones,” Morgan said. Did you mean droves, Matt?

Although playing second fiddle to WWE is not TNA’s mission statement, it’s a title they have been living with for several years now. Dedicating an entire pay per view to ECW was a risky manuever by owner of TNA, Dixie Carter. It was a chance to say “Hey, we’re not only a wrestling company, but we are fans of wrestling history as well.” Even the most superficial fan has to respect that the company handed over the booking for an entire pay per view to Tommy Dreamer and told the rest of their roster to take the night off. Or is it just that TNA was in a paralyzing submission hold desperately reaching for the ratings rope? Whatever their reasoning, I had fun watching the event.

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“Kahoneys” aka Balls Mahoney hails from NUTley, New Jersey

The fact that the ECW guys were reuniting on a show run by a company who is hungry to finally establish themselves lent a more genuine feel as opposed to having Vince throw tons of money at the ECW alums just to have an artificial moment and higher buy rates. In fact, this was almost too genuine. Some of the competitors haven’t missed a step. Seeing The F.B.I cut a rug…I mean a ring mat, hearing that Simon STILL has a problem, Kid Kash’s spring board off the top rope, and the extreme drama of Raven and Tommy Dreamer’s final showdown showed that these guys are still as entertaining and bookable today.

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Raven was born in Short Hills, NJ

The Jersey Burger

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Columbus Farmer’s Market in Columbus, NJ

The Columbus Farmers Market features tons of stores that sell fresh produce, antiques, collectibles, toys, housewares, pets, candy, clothes, jewelry and more. All that shopping will probably make you hungry so naturally there’s plenty of places to eat. During your visit you may want to stop and try The Jersey Burger!

As if reality shows and movies aren’t enough, even hamburger joints have jumped on the Jersey bandwagon. Obviously, this burger ain’t nothin’ compared to the monstrous New Jersey Breakfast, but it’s a nice appetizer in comparison. I would opt for American cheese over Swiss when eating pork roll, but that’s just me.

For the best burger coverage check out my friend Tommy Salami’s blog PluckYouToo.com and Brian and Allison’s Burger Blog at EatinBurgers.com.

Scarlet Carson Quoted The Sexy Armpit!

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Yesterday I spotlighted New York City’s The Dirty Pearls, and today it’s New Jersey’s own Scarlet Carson.  The Dirty Jersey Rock and Rollers were ready to open for KISS, as were The Dirty Pearls, but since Eventful’s contest is clearly predetermined it doesn’t look like that will be happening, even though both bands deserve the shot. The bands at the top of the contest rankings literally came out of nowhere and have double the votes than the other top bands. Most of my friends and concert freaks that I know have never heard of the bands that have taken over the lead for the opening slot at the KISS show on 8/20/10 at PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel, NJ.

Scarlet Carson have an ad out in the local music newspaper The Aquarian to help rally some new votes, and in the top left I was stoked to discover that they quoted from The Sexy Armpit’s review of their latest album! To a guy who has been writing since he knew how to hold a pencil, that is quite a high honor and I greatly appreciate them doing that. I remember when Matt from X-E wrote about how his quote was used on The Ghoulies DVD, and I just thought that had to be the coolest thing in the world and indeed it is!

For one of the best rock shows you will see, you MUST check out Scarlet Carson if you are in the area. The Stone Pony will be welcoming Scarlet Carson opening for Skid Row on Saturday August 28th, 2010. Once again, a big thanks to Scarlet Carson for quoting The Sexy Armpit!

Here they are performing “Not So Innocent” 
at 2009’s Bamboozle Festival at The Meadowlands 

The Dirty Pearls Rocking Union, NJ

Since Eventful’s KISS Opening Bands competition is completely fixed, make sure you catch The Dirty Pearls elsewhere on their upcoming east coast tour. They are the best band in New York City and in the above performance of “Caffeine & Gasoline,” they show Jersey what their brand of Rock and Roll is all about. The video was recorded by FuzztopiaVideos at Soundwaves Recording Studio in Union, NJ.
Along with a couple of New York City dates, The Dirty Pearls will blow the roof off of Maxwells in Hoboken, NJ on October 2nd 2010. See you there!

So Long Shark Month!

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Andrew Zubko’s Batman vs. Shark

Thank you for joining The Sexy Armpit for Shark Month!
Some people have been calling me crazy, while others say I’m just a total geek. Most of the time I can’t figure out what I consider myself. Is spending countless hours of my precious time researching, brainstorming, creating graphics, writing, and editing posts about New Jersey related nostalgia a worthwhile pastime? As if the work week doesn’t deplete my life of free time as it is, I then sink whatever time I have left into trivial bits of New Jersey nonsense. Would it sound completely moronic if I narrowed my blog topic to be even more specific? The answer is YES, and I just spent the last month writing discovering the many relationships that New Jersey has with Sharks. Yes, you really just read that.
While it may not have been as bloody or pulse pounding as the actual upcoming Shark Week on Discovery Channel, for those who enjoy the occasional obscure fact or finding out about a little known film, you probably enjoyed it along with me and I thank you for that. Did Shark Week get monotonous? Hell yes, of course it did. Was a month too long? Definitely. Was Radiation Scarred Reviews right in only doing their own Sharkathalon for 8 days? Absolutely. Now, I know you’re thinking, “But Jay, isn’t the Halloween Countdown a full month long?” Yes sir, but that isn’t nearly the arduous task of uncovering the connections of Jersey and Sharks. Halloween is a much more broad affair, when almost anything spooky, including movies, personal photographs, and memories get shared. So I guess I am a total geek because I can’t wait to get back to my regularly scheduled programming here. And I’m even more excited for The Countdown to Halloween with all of you!
Before I kicked off Shark Month, I had it in the planning stages for several months. I gathered so much material that I’m even thinking of starting and infrequent recurring column on the subject. Would you want to see that? Did you enjoy Shark Month? 

Shark Frenzy and Sambora

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Before he was well fed, getting a street named after him, and sitting on mountains of moolah, Richie Sambora was as hungry for rock stardom as Jaws was for some silly human flesh. You read it right, Woodbridge, New Jersey’s Richie Sambora or “Sambo” wasn’t always the superstar guitarist of Bon Jovi. Like most rockers destined for greatness, when Richie was through with local sports, he paid his dues playing in several bands. In addition to auditioning for KISS and Poison (who, at the time, was known as Paris), and playing guitar for Joe Cocker, Sambora was part of a band of Jersey guys called Shark Frenzy.

Shark Frenzy’s classic rock sound has been compared to ’70s rock bands like Aerosmith and Meatloaf, but I also hear similarities to several other bands such as Free, and Boston. Their music wasn’t officially released until over 20 years later, when founder of the band and grammy nominee, Bruce Foster, had the previously damaged tapes remastered and put out by Sanctuary Records. There was enough Shark Frenzy material for 2 full albums and the CD’s are available at many online shops (even Walmart!) and possibly the few record stores left. Both volumes are available on iTunes for $9.99 each.

On his official website, Bruce Foster reveals more about how he salvaged the music to finally get it released: “This album features Richie’s first time playing and singing in a recording studio. The master tapes of these priceless recordings were erased by the recording studio. I had the mixes on tape which went under 2 feet of salt water and river silt in the flood. Now, over 20 years later, through months of careful restoration, these recordings equal and in some cases exceed their original sonic spectrum.”