comic books Archives - Page 5 of 6

Tales of the Black Freighter on Blu-Ray & DVD 3/24!

Posted on March 20, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Watchmen’s comic within a comic, Tales of the Black Freighter, has been lavishly produced for Blu Ray and DVD and hits stores, online retailers, and on-demand on March 24th. I am totally pumped to see this aspect of Watchmen get such a superb treatment. It’s sad to think that those people who have only experienced Watchmen in a movie theater or IMAX may be unaware of what Tales of the Black Freighter actually is. If you are one of the “enlightened ones,” then you have experienced this ghastly allegorical pirate tale. Even if you haven’t read Watchmen, Tales of the Black Freighter is a “must own” addition to your collection solely for it’s atmosphere and significance in the Watchmen universe.

Delving deeper into Watchmen lore is the short based on Hollis Mason’s book Under the Hood. Mason, the original Nite Owl, published a book detailing his exploits as a costumed hero. Excerpts of the book can be found throughout the pages of Watchmen and now we’re able to experience it in visually stunning high definition! Under the Hood mixes live action and CGI in it’s rousing retelling of Mason’s superhero career. I’m a fan of Nite Owl so naturally I’m excited for this!

Watchmen fans have only dreamed of seeing these unique elements of the mythology unfold visually. It took over 20 years but with these 2 new releases as well as the motion comics, and the new video game The End is Nigh, us Watchmen fans have finally got what we were waiting for!

For more on the Watchmen universe visit: http://theworldofwatchmen.com/

I Can’t Even Doodle

Posted on March 2, 2009 by sexyarmpit

My lack of artistic ability prohibited me from making those neat doodles on my text book covers and notebooks growing up. A bunch of my friends and classmates often drew dead on sketches and hilarious caricatures of our teachers in mere seconds. If it wasn’t KISS or Batman related, then it wasn’t on my 2 item long “able to draw” list. My family and friends always tried to rationalize it for me “But you’re good at other things, Jay!” Yeah right. I admire artists and I’ve always wished that I was one. Void of any artistic ability whatsoever, I continued to envy my friends who WERE excellent artists.

In class, I’d peer over at my friend Mark’s notebook and see all of his awesome and intricate sketches that he’d drawn during a boring lecture or during a free period in school. What he created simply on a piece of lined notebook paper seemed larger than life. To me, it meant that he must’ve had big ideas going on in his head. I mentioned to Mark that I thought he was really talented and I’d like to see more of his artwork. What really grabbed me about his sketches was that he’d occasionally draw a superhero, creature, or giant transformer-type robot. Naturally, being obsessed with comics since I was able to read, I also revered comic art. Mark offered to bring in his portfolio book for me to look at if I was interested. I told him “hell yeah!” of course I wanted to see it.

The next day at school Mark took his portfolio book out of his backpack and handed it to me. While examining the large pages of his creations, I thought to myself, “how talented is this guy?” and “Damn, I want him to draw something for me!” It was almost as if he read my mind, because when the period was over, and we were filing out of the classroom, Mark said “Hey Jay…I forgot…I drew something for you…here you go.” Mark drew this up for me in class on a piece of notebook paper:

Mark knew I loved Kevin Smith films. At the time Clerks and Mallrats were the only Kevin Smith movies that had been released, but I was obsessed already. Now, almost 15 years later, I’m still obsessed with Kevin Smith movies, and Mark is still exercising his skills as a freelance artist. Pay a visit to Line Light Arts where Mark Constantino and other excellent artists are featured. Look for posts by “MarkJC.”

Street Fighter II’s Blanka by Mark Constantino

Click here to read more about my worship of comic art in the Armpit’s recap of the NY Comic Con ‘09 Part 1 and Part 2.

and

Reasons why you NEED to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

New York Comic Con ’09 Part 2

Posted on February 11, 2009October 26, 2020 by sexyarmpit

I only walked a few blocks from the parking garage to the Javitz Center, but I froze my baguettes off! Frozen innards and frostbitten digits were a small price to pay for the opportunity to schmooze with like minded individuals. There’s something about geek society; whether it’s talking comics, trading links to websites, or discussing the pros and cons of the new G.I Joe film, it makes you feel like you belong.

After the lingering Comic Con buzz, going back to work and hangin’ and bangin’ at the gym was a real bitch. I’ll be honest, I’m running on fumes. So far today I’ve downed an energy drink AND a medium iced coffee – black, but somehow, it’s just not enough. JUST NOW, I took the precaution of gulping down this Health energy potion that the people from Mana Potions booth gave me to test out.

Let’s hope I’m not up for the next 5 hours since I’ll need at least a few hours of sleep so I can be relatively coherent for work tomorrow. The cool little bottle is definitely eye catching. When I stopped by their booth, the blue and red varieties nearly glowing through the clear bottles made me feel like I was in a video game and just found a “power up” potion. (Their motto happens to be Replenish or Perish!) The scantily clad Mana girls did a decent job enticing me as well. The Health potion has tons of vitamins, folic acid, and even biotin which has numerous health benefits. Even though it tastes only a step above children’s liquid cough medicine, I was in it for the “energy” portion of the potion. The formula which includes ginseng, caffeine, taurine, amino acids, elderberry juice, and other ingredients gives the formula it’s “get up and go.” I can ignore its medicinal taste and syrupy consistency as long as it works. It’s been a few minutes and I’m not feeling tired or jittery, but pretty good. I’ll let you know if I crash by the end of the article.

I met Christof Laputka at the Leviathan Chronicle s booth. Headphones were set up in the booth to listen to installments of his science fiction audio saga. Christof’s quite the renaissance man. He’s gone from Wall Street to traveling the world, and he’s not ashamed to hide the fact that he’s a just a geek at heart. As a kid he grew up obsessing over Science-Fiction shows like Battlestar Galactica. Christoff described his aural creation to me as a throwback to old time radio shows, which thanks to my dad, I grew up listening to. I’m sure there’s a ton of people out there who have no idea what it was like to tune the old Philco radio and listen to Inner Sanctum, The Lone Ranger, The Green Hornet, etc. Through cassette tapes he ordered from a mail order old time radio catalog, my Dad introduced a young impressionable Armpit into the “theater of the mind,” and I appreciate that he did.

I popped The Leviathan Chronicles CD into my car stereo on my way to work and really got into it. I commend Christof for taking the chance to release this series; what better time than now? Everyone has an iPod or an mp3 player and FREE, high quality content is hard to come by. It seems like a no brainer and I hope the Leviathan chronicles gains a large following because that would open the door for Christof to produce other audio adventures. There’s plenty of websites doing original fictional programs for download but I’m going to wager that they don’t have the production quality of the Leviathan Chronicles. A description in their press release sums up the scale of the production: “The cast includes over 40 voice actors, cutting edge sound effects, and an original musical score.” The soundtrack really does rock! Each show is free and ranges from 30-40 minutes. You can find it FREE at their website or on iTunes!

NJ at NY Comic Con!

While Making my way around Comic Con it was great to see so much New Jersey representation! Like I mentioned about others in part 1, Rob Feldman of Earworm Media (based out of Jersey!) is another guy, who turned out to be a phenomenal dude! Rob didn’t know me from a vampire hiding behind his booth, but once I discovered that we had New Jersey in common we had a few laughs and then he introduced me to his creation, Dr. Shroud.

Robert even posed for a couple of photos. Here’s a priceless moment where Rob struck what he coined “The Sexy Armpit Pose,” that goes to show you that Rob was brave, and hands down the coolest guy in the entire Javitz Center that day!

Shame on me for not knowing about Dr.Shroud already! It’s nearly impossible to keep up on EVERYTHING! When you have entire seasons of Dallas stored in YOUR brain, miss some things your radar will! Dr. Shroud is a radtastic animated series available on the Internet and mobile phones. Shroud is a plastic surgeon with a secret past as a reformed vampire. Shroud’s daughter gets kidnapped by vampires that lurk in the city of Necropolis. Shroud embraces his former vampiric ways to defeat the city’s evil creatures in his quest to track down his daughter. The animated series features stylish animation, a creepy atmosphere, and an awesome soundtrack! Rob gave me a cool set of Dr. Shroud fangs so I can act out scenes at home. Thanks Rob! You can watch full episodes at Joost:

http://www.joost.com/embed/38kjc2w

Skullboy threw me for a loop when I saw how creepy he looked with his Misfits style face paint. I looked down and saw the all too familiar outline of NJ all over his table! There were t-shirts, stickers, and some killer skull art. All of a sudden, Skullboy reached his hand up and gave me one of his skullboy styled New Jersey stickers! That kicked ass!

Skullboy is truly adding to the great art culture in New Jersey and spreading the infectious Jerseyana. In fact, he’s not only a dedicated artist, but he’s also an event organizer. Skullboy has been putting on shows that mix art and rock music all over the state. Here’s some of Skullboy’s creations:

For show info go to myspace.com/theartofskullboy

To purchase his artwork, T-shirts, or stickers go to skullboy.net

Image comics: Jersey Gods!

I literally had to stand and wait for a middle aged female newspaper reporter from the Star Ledger to finish her “interview” with Glen Brunswick, writer of Jersey Gods. It was clear that she had to have been given this assignment to tackle, because either her interview skills sucked ass or she was completely unfamiliar with anything comic book related aside from reading the Jersey Gods comic. I bet the Jersey Gods and Ziggy are the only comics she ever read in her life.

I’m standing there like Biff Tannen with my arms folded all cocky thinking “Well lookie what we have here…” some self important newspaper reporter trying to horn in on Comic Con. When I saw Jersey Gods for the first time I thought to myself “a match made in heaven!” It was as good as Macho Man and Elizabeth…a comic book filled with superheroes published by Image comics and it’s based in NEW JERSEY? It seems like it was created specifically for me to write about on this site.

If I could only get a word in edgewise. Every time Glen was about to cut over to me, she kept going and going with more irrelevant questions. She’s a wonderful, insightful, writer and I enjoy her articles, but I can’t say that I use the same interview style as she does. The whole situation made me feel uncomfortable. It felt like my 7th grade math teacher was interviewing a guy who WRITES AN IMAGE COMIC BOOK! It’s not supposed to happen! My mother interviewing Nikki Sixx would easily be 10,000 times more entertaining.

I’ve been reading comic books for over 25 years now, and for some reason I just felt protective of my passion. This lady had to pause and write notes on a pad every time Glen gave her a response! C’mon lady! Step into reality, we’re approaching the year 2010! We have digital voice recorders that can detect the sound of a pin dropping at a Gwar concert. Finally she finished momentarily with Glen and he directed his attention to ME! I explained to him what I do here at the Armpit and he was very enthusiastic about it. I mentioned that I’d like to review a copy for the site, so you can expect a full review here coming soon! Saturday morning rolled around, and sure as shit, as I was walked out of the gym I looked over on the Star Ledger rack, and staring back at me was a pic of Glen Brunswick and Dan McDaid at Comic Con with Amy Nutt’s interview. It made the front page!

Aside from the invasion of all of these “official” print/TV people, the Comic Con was just a great time. The legit press folks should stay out of comic con though. If you are a virgin do you go to watch the Rocky Horror Picture show at your local theater? I would advise not to. The majority of important news events only invite certified media and “prominent” bloggers, so why should we let them into our world? Bloggers, podcasters, vloggers, and all the other mavericky online criers are welcome at Comic Con. We gotta keep some shit to ourselves! I hate the mainstreaming of geek!

BTW: I didn’t crash. I feel energized but not shaky. Perhaps that Health potion is the real deal?

The Sexy Armpit @ New York Comic Con ’09 Part 1

Posted on February 7, 2009 by sexyarmpit

It’s highly possible that a fanboy could very well “totally geek out” out at Comic-Con, it’s our form of cardiac arrest except it’s more emotional, ridiculous, and involves more girlish yelps.

This was my first official Comic Con and it was exactly as exhilarating as I expected. John Malkovich, in one of my favorite SNL sketches from this season involving a calculator, had a line that’s become an oft used quote in my repertoire: “I’m going to need freak out control.” After surviving the natural disaster that is NYC traffic, the accident that was holding up the flow for several miles at my Turnpike exit, and the aberration of forgetting my iPod, (no tunes in the car!!!) I finally made it home. I was mentally and physically drained since I spent 6 hours trying to contain my excitement and actually put my “freak out control” into effect. Then there’s the fact that I lose my patience while driving, especially when navigating around Manhattan. FYI – KITT was no help at all. Scumbag. I did a shitload of walking, probably made my way through every aisle 2 – 3 times, and I was forced to eat some fairly awful empanada from a lemonade stand that was fresh out of lemonade. What can ya do? There wasn’t much to choose from at Comic Con in the food department but there were plenty of artists, cosplayers, and a ton of geeky new stuff to check out. Read on!

Lots of Video Game Previews!

This is Jared Carr, art director for the upcoming DC Universe Online game was much more informative and cooler than the folks at the Ghostbusters video game preview. The specific reason I wanted a PS3 was to get the DCU game and fans have been waiting quite a long time for it. “We’re not discussing dates” Jared told me. WTF man? Give me a break, honestly. Comic Con wants the masses to come and visit all the latest products and kiosks, but if the game isn’t coming out anytime soon then what’s the sense on wasting a whole booth for it? If the makers of the game are trying to avoid setting a date only to have to push it back 3 times, that’s understandable. The burning question people want an answer to is WHEN will it come out!?!

I spent a good 20 minutes talking to Jared and despite him seeming rather irritated that I asked the release date, he was extremely easy to interact with and provided a lot of great insight into what the game is going to be like. You’ll be playing as a character YOU create and the customization is basically without limits. The landscapes and graphics in the game are beautiful and flawless. The PS3 version for instance has no noticeable difference visually to the common person even though the creators of the game naturally had more leeway in terms of power when working on the PC version. Jared told me that every map, area, street, city, and point of interest has been researched with the DC comics team which means the player will be officially emerged into the DC Universe when playing.

The new Ghostbusters game looks awesome although they didn’t have as many of the actual makers of the game at their booth. At least when I was there they had hired hands who kept asking people only to take still shot photos and NO video. The DCU game people were OK with video AND still shots. Regardless, I’m buying both of the games for sure. You can find plenty of video and screen caps from the new Ghostbusters game all over the Internets. They actually DO have a release date (6-16-09) and the Ghostbusters Blu-ray comes out the same day!

Legends of Wrestlemania is gearing up to serve as nostalgia to the old school WWF fans and also bring wrestling video games back to the basics. For years, wrestling video games have grown to feature complicated game play, intricate combinations, and other nonsense that the casual gamer doesn’t want to deal with. The best wrestling games were from back in the day. Games like Super Wrestlemania and Royal Rumble on Genesis and Super NES were so much fun that I’d be hanging out at a friends house playing them for hours on end. Legends of Wrestlemania is authentic since it features all the major classic WWF stars and their entrance themes. The venues to choose from have been those that have hosted Wrestlemania. The fueds and options are all based around classic Wrestlemania matchups. It’s literally a WWF/WWE fans dream come true. The American Dream Dusty Rhodes was there to sign autographs and promote the game which will be release on 3-24-09:

THE ARTISTS

There were many artists who had other business to tend to throughout the day. Some of the artists were doing signings or interviews and had someone else sitting in for them at points throughout the day to sell their artwork. Unless you’ve sought out pictures of the actual artists you’re a fan of, or have met them before, you may not know what they look like. At several of the artists’ tables I passed, I couldn’t be sure if it was really them or not so I always made it a point to look at their professional badges around their neck.

Even though I read his name on his tag “Dean Yeagle,” I verified “Is it really you!?!” I was so excited to meet this guy since he’s a legend in my book. I was first introduced to his art when I first saw his Mandy character getting into mischief in the pages of Playboy magazine. His art is playful and amusing, with a dash of big-eyed Disney wonder. He signed a hardcover copy of Mandy’s Shorts that I bought. Check out his company at www.cagedbeagle.com

Within the past year or so I really got into the pinup art of Amano Jyaku. Since I’ve never attended an official Comic-Con before, (been to a slew of conventions) I didn’t realize that I’d be running into artists and other folks who I knew solely through cyberspace. Creators and other people that I’ve become a fan of online seem to be imaginary until I actually meet them. As I strolled up and down the “Artists Alley,” I quickly glanced at a portfolio book and was immediately familiar with the pin-up style girls staring at me from inside the plastic sheets. It was Amano Jyaku, an artist I became friends with through seeing his art on various websites and on Myspace. I spoke with him and Paigey Pumphrey about how the Internet has opened so many doors for artists who, without the ‘net, might be struggling or forced to confine their skill to simply a hobby. I purchased 2 prints that he signed for me:

Amano’s guitar hero hottie (check out his logo on the guitar!)

Amano’s a big fan of spiced rum,

hence his love for sexy pirate chicks! I love that blue streak in her hair!

amanojyaku.deviantart.com

The magic of comic con or any convention of this type is not only the chance to meet the artists and industry people that you are familiar with or look up to, but also hopefully discover an artist or a book you haven’t heard of. Thanks to the Con, I became aware of Jamie Fay for and his awesome art for the first time. I fell totally in love with one of his Emma Frost pieces and I refused to leave without a signed print:

http://backend.deviantart.com/embed/view.swf
Ms Emma Frost by *windriderx23 on deviant ART

Another artist who I was pleased to discover was Richard P. Clark. His diverse portfolio is dramatic and mesmerizing. Clark is a truly versatile artist since he creates everthing from caricatures, and comic book characters to still life paintings. Richard was the type of guy who made me feel like I was already friends with him. He was sociable, funny, and appreciative. Clark was curious about The Sexy Armpit.com and it got a few laughs out of him. He signed an awesome Director Bones DC Comics foil card that he illustrated. www.zippystudio.com

Almost everyone I ran into snickered when they read my badge, that in a plain black font labeled me as “The Sexy Armpit.com.” It’s become somewhat of a nickname and I always get a few chuckles or comments, which I invite or I wouldn’t have kept this name otherwise! Thanks to all those who handed me stuff for review and answered my questions. New York Comic Con isn’t as revered as the San Diego Con, but I was still thrilled by the experience and I recommend getting your ass to one of them if you can. Check back soon for Part 2 of my trip the NY Comic Con!

Film Review: The Spirit

Posted on January 8, 2009 by sexyarmpit

“…I guess you guys aren’t ready for that yet…but your kids are gonna love it!” – Marty McFly, Back to the Future (1985)

It looks like the public just wasn’t ready for an over the top spectacle like The Spirit. Screw The Dark Knight for ruining chances of another comic book themed film achieving any sort of success! I am fresh off seeing The Spirit and my first reaction is that it traveled right over people’s heads. The storytelling in the film isn’t typical, and it’s appearance isn’t easy to adjust to, but I found these aspects enhanced what might’ve otherwise been a generic film based on a lesser known comic book character.

Gabriel Macht was a perfect choice for The Spirit, and pretty much seems like he could play ANY super hero for that matter and knock the role out of the ball park. The role was campier than I expected, but also serious, and thankfully not too serious. For guys at least, the eye candy is tremendous. We get to see Eva Mendes and Scarlett Johansson (among others) glam it up in old school style as they fog up the screen seductively. If you’re not convinced yet, The Spirit contains one HOT fleeting Eva Mendes ass-shot which I found to be highly agreeable. But if for some reason you’re not into hot ass shots and Scarlett Johansson’s voluptuous…uh…lips, then by all means, go and enjoy the fine work of Samuel L. Jackson as The Octopus! Even though Samuel L. will be Samuel L. whether he’s playing Jules Winnfield or Mace Windu, it really doesn’t matter because he’s just a lot of fun to watch because he enjoys his job so much.

Don’t go into it expecting Superman, or Iron Man, because this is a very different film. The Spirit is highly stylized and at first you aren’t sure if you’re supposed to laugh or cringe. When in doubt, laugh! This is a movie based off a comic book dammit! I’ve read critics’ reviews that have bashed this film for every detail including “I didn’t like the fact that The Spirit had to punch Octopus so many times.” Are you kidding me? If you can’t handle how a comic book would look on the big screen, then don’t waste your time. This is a comic book movie etched in retro style that isn’t brooding and marinated in realism, so if that appeals to you, I suggest you see The Spirit before it disappears from theaters. Well, I’m not pressuring you to go to the theater of course, especially since the DVD will probably get released in a few weeks. Still, I plunked down the cash to see it and I’ll definitely be shelling out more when it hits on Blu-Ray.

Nocturna Mission #4

Posted on January 6, 2009 by sexyarmpit

As part of my 4th Nocturna Mission, let’s take a look at Detective Comics #547 from February, 1985.

This issue’s cover is yet another classic Batman comic book cover. The background color, even though faded in this scan, is very eye catching in contrast with the light blue and white Batman logo. The blood orange background color makes this issue seem like a great companion to the earlier installment, Detective Comics #543, which shares a similiar background color.

My curiosity surged as I wondered why Batman would be revealing his secret identity to Commissioner Gordon and Harvey Bullock. Even more of a conundrum was the gang’s response of “You?!?” Settle down kids…It wasn’t Lance Bass under that cowl, but there was a Batman imposter like there’s been many times before.

In this panel we learn that Nocturna has a penthouse. I can’t help but make the adult magazine comparison and hope that one day Penthouse realizes the goldmine that is Cosplay. Get some hot skanky broads to dress up as some super hero chicks and villains. Perhaps one of them can be a certain ghostly white mistress of the night? Do it Bob! I SWARE you’ll be seeing sales in the range of the Vanessa Williams issue.

“Finding Nocturna and Jason was a nasty surprise” Now, if that’s not the kinkiest thing Batman’s ever said! Here we see Nocturna cheating on Batman with that rotten, no good, weasly Jason Todd. They weren’t just messing around either! That was some good ol’ S&M they’re getting into, they were bound and tied to chairs! I wonder how many seconds later “The Gimp” entered the room?

Oh Crap. You know it’s the ’80s when Batman’s rocking a finely manicured goatee…oh wait…it’s not really Batman, it’s actually Anton Knight/Night-Slayer, Natalia Knight’s bro. Natalia looks just as savvy as Batman and Robin on those grappling hooks, but her legs are way hotter. If you glance at this panel really fast it looks like Robin is out on patrol with Elvira. I could do without Nocturna’s queer choice of ballet slippers though.

According to this panel Batman apparently starred in some late ’70s Blaxploitation films. That Batman is Baadasss! Either that or he’s actually motivational speaker Tony Robbins when he was rockin’ that insane goatee. He encouraged it to grow and it did…and you can do the same! All you have to do is persevere.

In the top left of this next panel, Nocturna’s showing off her serious set of moves moves specifically the superkick or “sweet chin music,” that she blatantly stole from Shawn Michaels. Better yet, this is action that should’ve showed up in the Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe game if the game developers had any clue as to what the people really wanted:

If Nocturna was in that damn video game I would’ve bought it. If you’ve got some sort of code to make her magically appear, for the love of God please post it in the comments section. I’m sure many of you have already made her appear in the game taking on Kitana in a silky bathrobe wearing nothing underneath but a few dabs of that fancy fragrance Coco Chanel. I hear she doesn’t leave her penthouse without putting it on, but between you and me, I’m fairly certain that she buys the knockoff bottle from the mall kiosk. She claims you can’t tell the difference, but then again, she also wears cubic zirconia jewelery.

Whoa, whoa…”I know your every move intimately” ?? That’s borderline Luke/Leia makeout scene. You know what they say in Gotham City, nobody’s more of a player than Nocturna’s brother Night-Slayer! There she goes with the cheap costume jewelry again. Nocturna removes her plastic, yellow, star earring that she bought earlier that day at Claire’s in the lower level of the Gotham Center Mall (right near the women’s knockoff fragrance kiosk) and chucks it at her bro’s chestplate. Now take that cowl off Anton, you look ridiculous!

The Watchmen’s Comedian Can Finally Scratch His Sexy Armpit!

Posted on November 17, 2008 by sexyarmpit

I was just thrown for a loop when I noticed this…

In the pages of Watchmen, The Comedian makes a reference to The Sexy Armpit. OK, OK…you got me. It’s completely fake.

Batman, Turkey Wants Retribution!

Posted on November 12, 2008 by sexyarmpit

Batman, Turkey sues Christopher Nolan for stealing it’s name? WTF? Is this just a “kicker” or just a turkey pun? Maybe they should’ve been on the ball with their lawsuit back in ’39! Assholes.

Nocturna Mission #2

Posted on October 17, 2008 by sexyarmpit

Tonight, The Sexy Armpit will take a look at Detective Comics #543 which features “The Battle of the Century! Nocturna vs. Batman…and the prize is ROBIN!” The cover of this issue is colorful and awesome. Nocturna’s ghostly skin and blueish/black hair really stands out. The Batman logo underneath the Detective Comics header has always been my favorite. To be real for a second, it looks like Batman and Nocturna are about to go at it for the LAST Robin costume at a local Gotham Halloween store before closing time on October 30th! Maybe there’s a kids in their extended families who really wanted to dress up as Robin this year?

NOCTURNA: “That’s my Robin costume Batman! Get your gloves off!”
BATMAN: “Nocturna, you’re unwillingness to let this Robin costume go will only get you further
into trouble. Stealing is a crime! You’ll spend the rest of your life in the Gotham State Penitentiary!
NOCTURNA: Your cowl has apparently stopped the oxygen flow to your brain because ain’t NO WAY IN HELL you’re getting this vintage Jason Todd era Robin costume. I’m calling Halloween store security.
BATMAN: Don’t bother, you won’t know which one is the real security guard or the store employee modeling their security guard costume, which is new this year. I’ve taken the liberty of ensuring that both of them were walking around at precisely this moment because I knew you and I might’ve had a run in. I’ve also taken the precaution of ingesting a special super strong bat-antidote pill just for the heck of it.
NOCTURNA: Do you know why we don’t have sex anymore? Cause you’re truly a bore, do you know that? Now give me this damn costume!
BATMAN: Possession is 9/10ths of the law Nocturna! Don’t make me call Chief O’Hara!
NOCTURNA: I will have anything I want, even if I have to steal it!
…the real store security comes running over to the scuffle…
SECURITY: Unhand that costume Nocturna! It belongs to Batman! You’re under arrest
for stealing store merchandise!
NOCTURNA: WHAT?
BATMAN: You see Nocturna, I obviously didn’t need another Robin costume, especially since I have about 75 extra ones in the Batcave that Alfred made up. This is just a little thing I like to call entrapment.
NOCTURNA: YOU SCOUNDREL!
BATMAN: Now maybe if you would’ve opened up those long cadaverous legs of yours for some bat-action once in a while then this wouldn’t have happened, you bloodless bitch!

Hey, check out that Fun House…it reminds me of the one from Dark Ride!

My First Nocturna Mission!

Posted on October 7, 2008 by sexyarmpit

There’s not enough Nocturna on the Internet! I’ve expressed my passion for Nocturna and my desire to see her appear in the next Batman film on this site before, even though my efforts will no doubt be futile.

Now that Autumn is here, the sun has started to go down earlier each day. What better way to greet the night than with the sensual and gothic Batman villain and sexpot, Nocturna, Mistress of the Night? While she’s not the comedic sort like Elvira, they definitely evoke similar qualities in appearance. I’d imagine Nocturna is lighter on her feet than Elvira because she doesn’t have big hair. They’re both ultra pale. Elvira just likes to cake on the makeup, but Nocturna has a legitimate lack of skin pigment. I can’t really say if Nocturna ever wears nipple tassels that she spins around when flailing her boobs during dance numbers, but she does carry herself with quite a Dark Shadows type flair.

Noctura’s sexier than Poison Ivy, especially if you don’t like when Pam makes vines grow up your legs and then tries to hold you captive in her room full of killer cactus and Venus flytraps. (Not that she’s tried that kind of kinky thing on me or anything…) Now, goth chicks on the other hand are a lot of fun and unlike Poison Ivy, they don’t need to shoot you with darts full of love serum to turn you on. All it takes is some pale cleavage and jet black hair, and they’ve got you hooked…much like Bruce Wayne was when in the presence of Nocturna!

Today The Sexy Armpit will take a look at the covers and some panels from Detective Comics #530 and Batman #363. Please, all of you creatures of the night, join me in my Nocturna Mission! We’ll have more Nocturna to follow within the Halloween Countdown!