Guide For a Geeked Out Summer in New Jersey by The Sexy Armpit

Posted on by sexyarmpit

Sometimes I find myself taking for granted the amount of cool events that happen here in New Jersey. I remember times when I used to wish that I lived in a place where more cool shit happens, but I really have nothing to complain about. Of course, it’s not like there’s celebrities walking down the street like in Hollywood, and it’s not like we have a night life like in Vegas or Miami, but if you’re a geek, we’ve sure as hell got you covered! What follows is a list of cool events and things to do in the Garden State from now until the end of the summer. Trust me, you won’t have a cruel summer if you let The Sexy Armpit show you how to sand the deck.

6/1, 6/2, 6/8, 6/9 New Jersey Renaissance Faire
I need not explain what a Renaissance Faire is, this is New Jersey’s version takes place in Borden town. http://www.njrenfaire.com/Home.html

6/2 Rocky Horror Picture Show
Live production at Asbury Lanes. http://www.asburylanes.com/schedule.htm

6/6 Roxy’s Gong Wild – Talent & Game Show
Have some cocktails and show off your talent in front of the judges to win big prizes. Roxy & Duke’s Roadhouse, Dunellen. http://www.roxyanddukes.com

6/6 An Evening with Actor Joey Pantoliano
If the line “Let’s kill each other over the pepperoni” is commonly bandied around on pizza night at your house, then you may want to attend an evening with Joey Pants at The Count Basie theater in Red Bank. http://www.countbasietheatre.org/calendar/show/show.asp?id=43248426

6/8, 6/9 Pirates Weekend
In case you didn’t get your fill of puffy sleeved shirts, or if you dig those shirts and you just like to grab some booty in them, head to the Pirates and Privateers Weekend in Berkley Township June 8th and 9th. http://www.bloodyhistorical.us/festival/

6/8 Billy Idol
It’s a nice day to see a Billy Idol concert. House of Blues in Atlantic City. http://www.houseofblues.com/venues/clubvenues/atlanticcity/

6/8 Legends of the Ring 16
A host of wrestling stars from past and present gather to meet fans for the longest running wrestling convention in the Northeast at the Crown Plaza in Monroe. Scheduled to appear: Sting, Edge, Dusty Rhodes and about 50 others! http://www.legendsofthering.com

6/11 Steve Schirippa
Soprano’s star signs his new book Big Daddy’s Rules at Bookends in Ridgewood. http://www.book-ends.com/

6/15 Zombie Bikini Carwash
“Get your car washed by the hottest bikini zombies you will ever see.” The Rail, Richland, NJ.

6/15 The Burlesquepades
Ice Capades + Burlesque at Asbury Lanes. http://www.asburylanes.com/schedule.htm

Delsea Drive-In Theatre
The Man of Steel and The Long Ranger are characters that have been around for quite a long time. They deserve some respect, so do it up old school for ’em. See these summer blockbusters in an actual original drive-in theatre. NJ’s only drive-in theatre was built in 1949, and since 2004, after a long hiatus, it’s been showing first run movies. http://www.delseadrive-in.com/nowplaying.php

6/18 Kings of the Mic Tour
The fact that L.L Cool J, Ice Cube, Public Enemy, De Le Soul are on a package tour makes me feel kinda weird…I mean OLD. These are rap and hip-hop legends so this is an easy way to check out all of them at once. Coming to NJPac in Newark. http://www.njpac.org/events/detail/authentic-hip-hop

6/19 George The Animal Steele
Steele signs his new book, Animal at Bookends in Ridgewood. http://www.book-ends.com/

6/21 Short Film Festival and Networking Reception
Submit your film or just come to watch and meet the filmmakers at the Union County Performing Arts Center in Rahway. Live Music, free food, and independent short films. http://www.rahwayfilmfest.com

7/5 WWE Live
The way things are going right now in the WWE, your cousin Ned’s backyard fireworks display might be just as fun as seeing WWE Live in Wildwood. http://www.wwe.com/events/all/all/all/all/all/3000/mi/page-6

7/14 Jersey Shore Comic Book Show
Comics. Buy some. Free admission. Guest Artists. Forked River, NJ. https://www.facebook.com/JerseyShoreComicBookShow

7/20 Alice Cooper
Uncle Alice haunts the House of Blues in A.C. http://www.houseofblues.com/venues/clubvenues/atlanticcity/

7/20 11th Annual NJ State Ice Cream Festival
Ice cream tastings, contests, vendors, games, rides, food, and entertainment. Downtown Toms River. http://www.downtowntomsriver.com/icecream/festival.htm

7/26 – 7/28 4th Annual Visionary Tattoo Arts Festival, Asbury Park
Tattoos, artists, vendors, etc. for more info and tickets go here: http://visionarytattoofest.com

8/16 – 8/18  Monster Mania Horror Con
With the latest news that the creators of the Monster Mania Convention will be opening a store in New Jersey, it’s taking away from the announcements of guests at the next Monster Mania Convention in Cherry Hill. At the con you’ll be able to meet Carrie Fisher, Malcolm McDowell, and the cast of SyFy’s Being Human to name a few. Check out their official site for more guest announcements. http://www.monstermania.net/MMC25_GUESTS.html

8/18 – 8/25 JAWS on the Beach
Shore Flicks will be screening my favorite film to watch in the summer, JAWS, at multiple locations for FREE! The film will be projected on a huge screen on the beach or at waterfronts all along the Jersey Shore. That’s how they roll. It’s like a drive-in, but without the cars. I saw Batman on the beach in Asbury a few summers ago and it was awesome, but the only problem is when it’s really windy the screen starts to flap around. Either way, nothing beats watching Jaws on the beach at night. It’s the Jersey Shore equivalent of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, expect Jaws isn’t wearing lingerie…or singing. Go here for the full listing of films Shore Flicks will be presenting this summer: https://www.facebook.com/ShoreFlicks

8/18 NJ Collector’s Convention
Pretend you are the Toy Hunter and buy some stuff to sell or find some giant sized action figure you can buy and hold onto until you die like I do, or simply check out the costume contest, vendor tables with comics, video games, and all kinds of other collectibles. Holiday Inn, Cherry Hill. http://www.newjerseycollectorscon.com

Arcades and Nerf Battle Arenas
Get out of the heat and into an arcade. Spots like Yestercades, The Break, and the Silver Ball Museum offer a retro video gaming experience the way you remember it. Get into some adult style Nerf wars at the Airsoft Factory.

*If you would like me to list your event, or you think I should add one of interest, please contact me via twitter @sexyarmpit or e-mail sexyarmpit@comcast.net.

www.SexyArmpit.com

GREAT GEEK GORGE #8: Eating Katy Perry, Chiller Theatre, and 12″ Action Dolls!

Posted on by sexyarmpit
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Welcome to the long winded 8th edition of Great Geek Gorge. This where I spew about some of the crap I bought or consumed recently and throw it all into one very random post. Today we’ll look at a new snack, some giant action figures, and some hot zombie mermaids.
 
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Katy Perry’s Kettle Corn Pop Chips
The thought of eating Katy Perry’s…chips…appeals to me. Like many of you, I also easily fall prey to product tie-ins. If Katy Perry was on the carton of Eggland’s Best, or growing her own line of organic watermelons (Katy’s watermelon’s…), or even a Campbell’s soup tie-in (Katy’s Clam Chowder), I’d be on line at the store as soon as they are released. You can see how it makes food more appealing. When I was a kid and went grocery shopping with my mom, anytime I saw Batman or Superman on the label of a peanut butter container, I nearly went into convulsions. Had to have it. Not much has changed.
Normally, I enjoy Pop Chips. They are a lighter alternative to other types of chips, but I can’t say I buy them often though because they seem pricey for a bag filled with air and just a few chips at the bottom. Hands down my favorite flavor is Barbecue – I could polish off a regular sized bag in no time. So when I saw a display of Katy Perry in Quick Check advertising her new Pop Chips flavor, it was obvious I went into my usual “buy two” mode. After tasting them I was disappointed that the Kettle Corn flavor wasn’t prominent enough. I don’t know if that means they weren’t sweet enough or what, but I will tell you that I don’t think it was necessary to make chips in the flavor of kettle corn when you can just buy a bag of actual kettle corn and bypass any possible disappointment. It’s like ordering steak-flavored chicken at a steakhouse. Katy should’ve just created her own candy line instead.
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Chiller Theater Expo – April 26th, 2013
 
Usually I find a few cool things at the Chiller Theater Expo here in N.J to share with you and the Spring 2013 installment yielded a couple of worthy items. A few weeks back, the pop culture and toy convention took over the castle themed Sheraton in Parsippany, NJ. Sure, the guest signings are great, but my favorite part is always the dealer rooms. Even though the rooms get a bit cramped, they are chock full of stuff that you can’t find anywhere else.

First I ran into my buddy Jessica Rajs from Gorgeous and Gory. Each year, Jess and her crew create a fantastic calendar featuring zombified pinup models. This year’s theme is mermaids. The photography and effects are incredible and the makeup is superb, so head over to Gorgeous and Gory to get one for yourself!

Cookie’s art. kicks. ass. Cookie’s own brand of art is inspired by punk rock and horror and is aptly named Rock and Roll Art School. I wasn’t familiar with Cookie before the last Chiller, but that’s the beauty of the event. I was walking around the dealer room and anytime I see neon colors or Lily Munster I stop right in my tracks. I’m easily distracted so this brightly colored painting of Lily was screaming for me to buy it, and I replied out loud immediately, “You don’t have to scream at me neaon Lily, you had me at “Ohhh Herman.” Check out Cookie’s collection of vibrant monster and tattoo art for sale at his Etsy shop! http://www.etsy.com/shop/RockNRollArtSchool
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WB Store 12″ DC Super Heroes Batman Figure – now with BONUS extraneous backstory!

Lately I’ve been on a kick of larger sized action figures – which are actually more like dolls. Obviously many male collectors don’t want to admit that they own dolls, and I will only admit it if it seriously reminds me of a freaking doll. If it’s 6″ inches tall or smaller and is made of plastic, it’s an action figure. Any bigger than that then the figure/doll war rages on.
Growing up, I had no use for any figure larger than my Kenner Super Powers or Star Wars figures. They were perfectly sized and very easy to collect. I came to the party a little late for the ’70s Mego phase, so the larger sized action-doll type figures (satisfying everyone, see?) with changeable clothes never appealed to me, and they really still don’t. I’m talking about these 12″-14″ monstrous sized plastic and vinyl figures. I always used to wonder why these giant collectibles were even getting made and I also wondered who was actually buying them since they seemed to sit on the shelves forever when I was a kid. For some reason though, within the past year or so, I’ve been having these urges to own several key figures of this size. If you ask me what my inspiration is, I can’t even tell you because I have absolutely no clue what brought this on. I only recently found out about the re-release of the 12″ Star Wars figures, but I am not going to let myself fall into that Sarlaac Pit of collecting. Maybe the culprit was when I picked up those 10″ Dark Knight Rises Batman and Bane figures? Now just stop it Jay. We can’t keep this going or I’m going to have to buy another place just for my toys.
Let me take you back to when I could care less about figures of this size. When the mall was the place to be, before eBay and Amazon became one of my favorite past times, I actually used to go to the mall with my friends. Yes, we physically ventured out of the house and into a place where you could put one foot in front of the other and transport yourself from store to store. Novel idea right? Many times we walked to the two nearby malls, (ahh we used to have so much ambition, right?) other times we got dropped off by our parents. Much like Shannon in Mallrats, I too used to have a shopping agenda, and much like Brody in Mallrats, I was there for comics.

The two malls in my vicinity no longer even have comic book shops, but back in the day there were a couple that I frequented like Heroes World and Comic Attitudes, among others. In addition to the comic shops, I always had to stop at music stores like Record Town and Sam Goody, and eventually I’d start browsing videos at Suncoast Motion Picture Company. There was also the Warner Brothers Studio Store which usually came through with some cool DC Super Hero swag that you couldn’t find anywhere else.

That was a long journey just to tell you that I found a badass black 12″ Batman figure at Chiller. This particular figure/doll is one I hadn’t seen since my days of actually walking around the mall. I was able to knock the price down enough and brought it home. I felt like this was a good score since this specific line is pretty scarce, even on eBay. And now I find myself on a quest for a few of his peeps so he has someone to hang out with. The funny part about this line of DC Superheroes is that when they were on the shelves it was like they didn’t exist to me. I hated every aspect of oversized figures. Now, I’m obsessed with the idea. Funny how things change in some respects, but I’m still such an easy target for slapping Katy Perry on a bag of chips as if I was a 7 year old girl.
www.SexyArmpit.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 106: KILL Tour T-Shirt from Fright Rags

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Often, when something “limited edition” comes down the pike I just have to own it. A prime example is the KILL tour t-shirt that was released as a special edition by Fright Rags recently. Fright Rags is known for printing up genius, one of a kind horror tees, and this may be one of the best they ever conceived. Check it out and you can be the judge of that.

The KILL Tour T-shirt is inspired by the Destroyer album cover art from my favorite band, KISS. Anytime the world of horror combines with KISS, it’s a win-win. The t-shirt art includes Freddy, Chucky, Jason Voorhees, and Leatherface taking the place of KISS. What knocks this baseball style tee right out of the old Roosevelt Stadium is KILL’s tour stops are listed on the back just like an old vintage concert t-shirt! On KILL’s Decades of Destruction Tour, in honor of the release of the original Friday the 13th film, the band’s May 9th, 1980 tour stop was at Crystal Lake…in NEW JERSAAAY!

Previous releases that I also HAD TO HAVE included G.I Jason (the GI Joe/Jason Voorhees mashup) and one of their beautiful Friday the 13th The Final Chapter tees. Artist Jason Edmiston was responsible for the artwork on both the GI Jason tee as well as this KILL tour shirt, but the new one may take the cake. It’s a dead heat for me. What do you think? If you own the regular black t-shirt version of “KILL,” it’s slightly more accurate to the Destroyer cover, but I opted for the larger KILL logo on the baseball tee.

You can now see why I felt so compelled to make this shirt part of my wardrobe. But surprisingly, this shirt wasn’t released without criticism since it’s hard to please everyone. The flack on this shirt was that Michael Myers should’ve been in the artwork instead of Chucky. I’m not sure why that happened, but if Myers was on the shirt instead it would indeed be perfect. I’m not complaining one bit though, I think it was an awesome idea and I’d like to see more cool ideas like this from Fright Rags.

www.SexyArmpit.com

Wrestlemania Week Begins!

Posted on by sexyarmpit
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I came up with the ad for how a New Jersey Wrestlemania should look!
We’ve been waiting a whole year since the announcement that Wrestlemania 29 would emanate from Metlife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ. Finally, the time is upon us! LIVE from the home of the Giants and the Jets, Wrestlemania 29 all goes down on Sunday April 7th, 2013 live on Pay-Per-View.

It’s been a long standing battle as to why the Giants and the Jets are referred to as New York teams when they actually play in New Jersey. The same thing is happening with Wrestlemania 29. All of the official logos and advertisements feature a NY/NJ combo rather than just NJ where the venue clearly is. I can understand the fact that the venue and the teams that play in it are shared by NY and NJ, but in wrestling terms there should be no debate.
I took it upon myself to bury this nonsense by fixing the official Wrestlemania ad. Rather than show The Rock, Brock Lesnar, and John Cena, like the original, I replaced them all with wrestlers from New Jersey. Featured in The Sexy Armpit version of the Wrestlemania ad is the late Bam Bam Bigelow, the walking condominium King Kong Bundy, Diamond Dallas Page, one of my favorite indie wrestlers Jay Lethal, and present WWE Superstar A.J Lee. Notice A.J is proudly wearing her Sexy Armpit C.M Punk style t-shirt.
It doesn’t stop there for the Jersey-fied ad. Not only is the Jersey City skyline pictured in the distance, but there’s also a special attraction match!
This grudge match will settle the score for who is more Jersey. Jersey Shore inspired wrestler Robbie E. of TNA Wrestling facing off against Randy “The Ram” Robinson who lives in New Jersey in one of my favorite films, The Wrestler. Considering Robbie E. was mentioned in the movie, this would be a cool match to see. Randy “The Ram” feels that Robbie E. is making a mockery of his home state and Robbie E. feels that The Ram is all washed up. *We’ve confirmed that Randy survived his last match against the Ayatollah and he has clearance from his doctor to wrestle.
www.SexyArmpit.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 105: My Chemical Romance

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Some cool MCR T-Shirt designs

Wow, it’s been a while since I posted a T-Shirt Tuesday, so here we go! If you’re into the rock music scene you’ve probably heard by now that New Jersey’s My Chemical Romance announced their break-up last week to the dismay of their legion of passionate fans.

Often mislabeled and passed off as merely “emo punks,” MCR were more than just a rock band. Each member of the band became a larger than life comic book character in the same vein of The Beatles and KISS. They also created a vast mythology to go along with their music, storytelling like a goth-glam Springsteen times five. Perhaps they’ll go the way of Green Day and formulate a Welcome to the Black Parade Broadway show? I’d go see it.
Most recently in the world of MCR, and prior to releasing single tracks from an incomplete album, the band unleashed the under appreciated Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, a poppy, upbeat spectacle of rock, one which I admire and rotate on my iPod Classic often.

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After 12 years the band has called it quits, yet I feel that they still have more to accomplish music-wise. I’m hoping we’ll see a HUGE reunion tour in about 5 years. I can definitely see them rising to new heights and selling out stadiums in the future. After all, we need a band to be “thee band,” since there’s a major void in rock music nowadays. Rock in general has languished in the past several years so this split comes at a bad time. The world needs another revolutionary rock album and unfortunately MCR was on the short list of bands who could’ve created the next one.
As far as band t-shirts go, My Chem has always had some of the coolest looking tees. Their shirts are usually wearable in any context (i.e fashionable), meaning that some people may not realize it’s even a band shirt because they just look cool. Keep in mind, there are zillions of MCR shirts floating around, but today I bring you some pics of my favorites and a few that I own as well. Many of the designs of their badass t-shirts incorporate their logos, symbols, and characters from their songs. Here is a link to their official online store which is still open for business: http://store.mychemicalromance.com/?q=shop/featured
www.SexyArmpit.com

Garden State of Alderney: Grand Theft Auto IV

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[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRr-XIhAAak?rel=0]
Grand Theft Auto in NJ
Gamer is not a word anyone would use to describe me unless they were talking about Words With Friends or Trivial Pursuit. Don’t get me wrong, I was much more of a video gamer in the ’80s and ’90s, when it didn’t take a master’s degree in engineering to advance to merely the 3rd level of a game. Even the open ended games where the player is free to explore his or her surroundings were lost me. In games like Grand Theft Auto, players can shoot at anything they want to, pick things up from the ground, or talk trash to a person passing them on the street. I prefer to have more of an agenda in my game playing.

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Although I’ve heard nothing but great feedback from friends about the Grand Theft Auto series, it never enticed me at all. It must be pretty awesome since several sequels have been churned out consistently since it’s debut in 1997. With GTA V slated for September 2013, let’s look back at GTA IV. One of the coolest aspects of the game is that it features an independent state adjacent to Liberty City called Alderney, a.k.a New Jersey which you can read more about at these links:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zb6QSglxTOM?rel=0]
www.SexyArmpit.com

Weinermobile at FDU in Teaneck, NJ

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If you’ve been following along this week, I’ve been trying to stick with a car theme. Today’s post combines cars, pop culture, and of course…New Jersey! It’s hard to ignore a giant car shaped like a hot dog and aptly named THE WEINERMOBILE! The Oscar Meyer Weinermobile is legendary and I always wanted to see it driving around but I always miss it. This video posted above is the next best thing. It’s the iconic vehicle’s appearance at Fairleigh Dickinson University in Teaneck, NJ from 2010. Great video! Give it a thumbs up! Thanks to YouTube user WFDU891.
www.SexyArmpit.com

NJ Formula 1 Race in Coming in 2014: Red Bull Racing Promo

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A Formula 1 race was slated to hit the streets of North Jersey this year, but it was postponed until 2014. According to the official statement from F-1, it’s on track for next year. The 3.2 mile race will pass through Weehawken and West New York, NJ along the Hudson River. After the initial announcement of the race hit, my excitement was too soon doused with the news of the cancellation. But watching this promo video made by the Red Bull Racing team brings all that excitement back. Grand Prix racing through the streets of New Jersey is just a lot cooler than driving around an oval track for 200 laps. Sorry Nascar!
www.SexyArmpit.com

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments 74: The Cannonball Run

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Check out the old NJ State Police Cruiser from The Cannonball Run (1981) !!

You may not remember this quick scene, but the cross country car race depicted in the 1981 comedy The Cannonball Run made a stop in New Jersey. In a humorous scene, incognito racer J.J McClure (Burt Reynolds) and mechanic Victor Prinzim (Dom DeLuise) are caught speeding at 120 miles in their ambulance when they are stopped by two New Jersey State Troopers.

Dr. Nikolas Van Helsing (Jack Elam) and the young photographer Pamela (Farrah Fawcett) are in the back of the ambulance. We assume that Dr. Van Helsing administered some sort of drug to Pam since she’s babbling and giggling as he formulates a tall tale to the police about her having cysts on her lungs that require urgent care in L.A, but only via a cross country drive, not a flight.

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J.J:
“Let me explain something to you, we have to get the senator’s wife to California in 72 hours,
do you understand what I’m saying?…We have to get the senator’s wife to California in 72 hours.”
VICTOR: 
“We’re very close”
NJ STATE TROOPER: 
“As long as you’re in New Jersey, I want you fellas to take it easy…you got that?”
VICTOR
“We sure do, thanks a lot”

NJ STATE TROOPER:
“I’m glad there’s no cupcakes like that in New Jersey”
NJ STATE TROOPER 2:
“You haven’t met my brother in law Ralph”
www.SexyArmpit.com

HOLD THE JELLO!! STILES IS FROM JERSEY!

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Look, are you gonna tell me you’re from Jersey? Cause if you’re gonna tell me you’re from Jersey, I don’t think I can handle it. But if you’re gonna tell me that Stiles from 1985’s Teen Wolf is from New Jersey, now that’s more like it! Yes, it’s true! Jerry Levine hails from New Brunswick, NJ! HEY LEMONADE GIVE ME FIVE MAN!

I should’ve known all along. The outlandish friend. That guy who brings the party everywhere he goes. You know him. He has an endless array of witty comments, an infinite collection of quippy t-shirts, and he’s a legendary urban surfer. A guy with that description must be from New Jersey. Reason being – if he was from California he wouldn’t have to surf on top of his best friend’s father’s hardware store delivery van. We all need a Larry Dallas type in our life. He’s the type of friend who pushes the limits. He helps us live life to the fullest. And he never has any money. Same with Stiles. In fact, we may think he was even an honorary Goonie at some point: “Never Say Die!”

Stiles was a character who we might never have been acquainted with if not for Damone and Spicoli from Fast Times. More modern, a bit more refined, Stiles was a hero amongst many of us kids when Teen Wolf came out. Sure Scott Howard was cool, but Stiles had that natural charisma. He had the cool shades, the funny story about the shop teacher, and the always chic “What Are You Looking At Dicknose” t-shirt.

Scott needed the wolf to be cool, while Stiles just acted whatever way he wanted to at any given moment. He didn’t care if people hated his red pants or if the whole basketball team viewed him as an annoyance and wondered why he was hanging out in their locker rooms after the games, even if he was supposedly just trying to score some cash. At parties, Stiles was the master of ceremonies. Or if Dana Barrett ran into him she might say “You don’t act like a zany best friend, more like a game show host…”

Stiles is the type of friend who goes to great lengths to bring you a keg…of beer. And these. He will also dump jello down a former Playboy Playmate’s shirt and make Chubby eat it all out. That sounds like bowls of fun. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with Stiles? In fact, we all probably have a friend like Stiles already. If you do, go right now and see if he needs help sniffing out his stash in the garage.

*Jerry Levine graduated Highland Park High School in Highland Park, NJ

*Thank MTV for making me specify “1985’s Teen Wolf.” Ridiculous! Cancel that shit.

www.SexyArmpit.com