The New Jersey Steambath

Are you looking for a fun activity to do to your significant other? Well look no further than Urban Dictionary for a potpourri of different options that are sure to spice up any stale relationship.

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I’ve lived in Jersey my whole life and this is the first I’m hearing of the New Jersey Steambath a.k.a The NJ Sauna. Are 15 year olds writing the entries for Urban Dictionary? I really hope Urban Dictionary doesn’t permeate our culture like Wikipedia has or this world is going to straight into the shitter. Have you heard of the NJ Steambath, or am I living under a rock?

The Jersey Burger

Jersey Burger
Columbus Farmer’s Market in Columbus, NJ

The Columbus Farmers Market features tons of stores that sell fresh produce, antiques, collectibles, toys, housewares, pets, candy, clothes, jewelry and more. All that shopping will probably make you hungry so naturally there’s plenty of places to eat. During your visit you may want to stop and try The Jersey Burger!

As if reality shows and movies aren’t enough, even hamburger joints have jumped on the Jersey bandwagon. Obviously, this burger ain’t nothin’ compared to the monstrous New Jersey Breakfast, but it’s a nice appetizer in comparison. I would opt for American cheese over Swiss when eating pork roll, but that’s just me.

For the best burger coverage check out my friend Tommy Salami’s blog PluckYouToo.com and Brian and Allison’s Burger Blog at EatinBurgers.com.

So Long Shark Month!

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Andrew Zubko’s Batman vs. Shark

Thank you for joining The Sexy Armpit for Shark Month!
Some people have been calling me crazy, while others say I’m just a total geek. Most of the time I can’t figure out what I consider myself. Is spending countless hours of my precious time researching, brainstorming, creating graphics, writing, and editing posts about New Jersey related nostalgia a worthwhile pastime? As if the work week doesn’t deplete my life of free time as it is, I then sink whatever time I have left into trivial bits of New Jersey nonsense. Would it sound completely moronic if I narrowed my blog topic to be even more specific? The answer is YES, and I just spent the last month writing discovering the many relationships that New Jersey has with Sharks. Yes, you really just read that.
While it may not have been as bloody or pulse pounding as the actual upcoming Shark Week on Discovery Channel, for those who enjoy the occasional obscure fact or finding out about a little known film, you probably enjoyed it along with me and I thank you for that. Did Shark Week get monotonous? Hell yes, of course it did. Was a month too long? Definitely. Was Radiation Scarred Reviews right in only doing their own Sharkathalon for 8 days? Absolutely. Now, I know you’re thinking, “But Jay, isn’t the Halloween Countdown a full month long?” Yes sir, but that isn’t nearly the arduous task of uncovering the connections of Jersey and Sharks. Halloween is a much more broad affair, when almost anything spooky, including movies, personal photographs, and memories get shared. So I guess I am a total geek because I can’t wait to get back to my regularly scheduled programming here. And I’m even more excited for The Countdown to Halloween with all of you!
Before I kicked off Shark Month, I had it in the planning stages for several months. I gathered so much material that I’m even thinking of starting and infrequent recurring column on the subject. Would you want to see that? Did you enjoy Shark Month? 

Martha Stewart is July’s Garden State Playmate

nutley,new jersey
It was bound to happen. Many of you Sexy Armpit readers knew it was inevitable. It’s finally time to give Nutley, New Jersey’s Martha Stewart the nod. And I say, why the hell not? There’s always room for GILFS on the illustrious list of Garden State Playmates.

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Martha Stewart may have eclipsed Betty Crocker in popular culture. How often is someone you know cooking, or whipping something creative up in the kitchen and you comment “Wow, you’re a real Martha Stewart!” It’s pretty amazing when you realize she was born in Jersey City, NJ. and graduated Nutley High School.

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After a stint modeling and graduating with a double major in history and architectural history, it wasn’t until several years later that Stewart became the crafting, cooking, restoring, and media mogul who we love and/or hate today. Either way, I’m sure you’ll have no problems scarfing down that gourmet meal she makes for you after she shows you several thousand ways of playing hide the sausage.
OK, OK, you got me. Here’s the real reason why Martha Stewart whisked her way into becoming a GSP:

Martha Stewart
SHE MAKES SHARK CUPCAKES! 

Visit this link to Martha Stewart’s website to learn how she made these cool looking Shark and Beach Cupcakes! A perfect way to celebrate Shark Month!

12 Days of Terror (2004)

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12 Days of Terror can never share the same ocean water as Jaws, but let’s face it, no other films in the genre really can. Directed by Jack Sholder (responsible for some of my horror favorites like Nightmare on Elm Street 2 and Wishmaster 2), 12 Days of Terror, was adapted from a book by Richard Fernicola and chronicles the string of shark attacks that occurred along the Jersey Shore in the summer of 1916. It has been said that these attacks inspired author Peter Benchley to write Jaws. Although they share a similar story, 12 Days of Terror is on a lower scale (“docudrama” on Discovery Channel) and isn’t as thrilling as Jaws, but still provides an entertaining and realistic account of the Jersey shark attacks.

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Rather than center the film around the chief of police, 12 days of Terror focuses on Alex (Colin Egglesfield), a lifeguard at the Jersey Shore. The upcoming summer was to be one of the hottest yet and tons of people were already flocking to the beach and the team of lifeguards had their work cut out for them. After Alex witnesses the first kill and helps pull the victim out of the water, his instincts told him that it was obviously a shark attack. Much like Brody in Jaws, Alex encounters opposition from town officials because they do not want to close the beach. Naturally, they pass it off as an “air torpedo” from the war, or some “freak occurence” and continue with business as usual as not to lose revenue. There were actually some precautions taken, such as having steel fences installed in the ocean in Asbury Park and other shore towns as well as an investigation into shark behavior by The Museum of Natural History in New York City, which was ordered by the U.S government and the State of N.J.

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Claiming 4 lives and badly injuring a young boy, The Jersey Shore attacks were indeed horrible, but they did provide the world with invaluable information on sharks. Up until that point, the nature of the attacks didn’t jive with the existing information available on sharks. It was always thought that a killer shark would never swim near the shore, nor would a shark attack a swimmer. With that school of thought, the beach seemed like the safest place in the world.

Obviously 1916 was a very different time, and the U.S was involved in World War 1. For people who lived close to the Jersey Shore, bathing in the cool ocean was a revitalizing escape from the stress of life, much like a day at the spa is to us now. The film captures the feeling of the novelty in enjoying a day at the beach that will never be replicated. It was the ultimate refreshing getaway. Now that we are bombarded by commercials for online travel agents, and families take numerous exotic vacations per year, to those who live in Jersey, a day at the Shore is totally commonplace. The film brings us back to that simplicity, only to set the stage for the horrific attacks.

12 Days wastes no time, there’s a kill early on in the film. The gore is not excessive but what is shown is very realistic looking, especially when the first victim’s face turns blueish gray from losing so much blood. Later, we see the shark chow down on a lifeguard’s legs, yet there’s still nothing quite as vivid as the scene where Quint gets eaten by Jaws, but the film does offer some thrilling imagery, just in a more subtle way.

The effects in the film weren’t fantastic, but I’m sure the filmmakers did the best they could with the budget they were working with. Close up shots of the shark looked realistic and way superior than those in shark films you might see on say SyFy Channel. If you are the type that always nitpicks films frame by frame, it’s easy to set aside 12 Days’ faults since the shark attacks do not bolster the film the way you might think. The film shows how these attacks effected the landscape at the time and how it made the world rethink it’s previous assumptions about sharks.

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“Are you aware of the fact they’ve had shark attacks here?”

12 Days isn’t all carnage, it also weaves in some dramatic moments as well. There’s a subplot involving Alex’s brother Stanley and his relationship with Alice, the girl who Alex has a thing for too. The Captain (John Rhys Davies) is a ruff, weathered fisherman, in the vein of Quint, who takes Alex on his boat, The Jersey Rose, to seek out the killer shark.

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For a fairly accurate account of the Jersey Shore attacks, 12 Days of Terror is the best film available. There are some documentaries that have been released, but this is an easy watch. I can’t say that it’s exploding with personality or incredibly memorable, but that is mostly because shark films that came after Jaws in 1975 have suffered. And as unfair as it may seem that the blockbuster Jaws was inspired by a summer at the Jersey Shore, it’s true, so when you watch 12 Days of Terror, no matter how hard it is, try your best to momentarily forget that you ever saw Jaws.

*On the DVD bonus features there is a summary of the theory that a Bull Shark, not a Great White, was actually the culprit of at least one or two of the attacks in 1916, because of their ability to live in fresh water.

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Scarfin’ It with The Armpit: The Shark Fin Inn

forked river,new jersey

When I first stumbled upon The Shark Fin Inn in Forked River, NJ, via a Google search, I doubted that they would actually have shark on the menu. Once I clicked around their website for a little while and studied the menu, I noticed that sure as shit – they have SHARK on the menu! It’s not just a clever name, this place is the real deal.

The Shark Fin Inn offers a variety of selections that were making my mouth water as I looked through the menu. The cuisine is inspired by that of the Caribbean and the Florida Keys. I found myself stuck on the appetizers, especially the Stuffed Avocado: “half avocado stuffed with a lump crab and shrimp salad in a light mayo and seasoned to perfection.” And I’m sure my girlfriend would probably order the Bacon Wrapped Scallops. Hey, what about the SHARK MEAT? Would YOU eat shark meat? I know I love me a fish taco, but a SHARK TACO?

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At the Shark Fin Inn, the Shark Bites are definitely NOT fruit snacks.

Seafood isn’t the only thing featured on the menu, for all you seafood haters they offer wings, sandwiches, fried ravioli, ribs, pork chops, steaks, as well as various chicken dishes.

Shark Fin Inn
701 South Main Street Route 9
Forked River, NJ 08731

Jersey Shore Shark Attacks in Claymation

YouTube user eastcoaster56 features this extremely creative claymation presentation summarizing the Jersey Shore shark attacks of 1916 on their page. If you enjoyed the California Raisins, and Penny on Pee Wee’s Playhouse, then watch “The True Story of the Matawan Maneater” and let it bring you up to speed.

WELCOME TO SHARK MONTH!

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What if MTV’s Jersey Shore wasn’t about guidos? What if it was about the horrific and devastating string of shark attacks along the Jersey Shore that took place in July of 1916? All month long here at The Sexy Armpit, forget about living every week like it’s Shark Week, we are going full speed ahead into SHARK MONTH! All month long stop by The Sexy Armpit for posts that incorporate New Jersey and Sharks. Think that sounds preposterous? Think again! There will be posts at least 3 – 4 times a week throughout July so we would love for you to come back and enjoy the marathon with us! And if we have any difficulties luring in some Great Whites, Snooki would make perfect shark bait, don’t you think?