sexyarmpit, Author at Sludge Central

Halloween Events around New Jersey

Posted on October 22, 2010 by sexyarmpit

www.fieldofterror.com

Not in the Halloween spirit yet? Well, you don’t have much time left, but a good old fashioned Haunted Hayride through some spooky woods will definitely do the trick. The Field of Terror in East Windsor, NJ is New Jersey’s largest corn maze/haunted hayride event. We took a Sexy Armpit excursion there last weekend and had a great time. It was a perfect night, the air was crisp, the moon was bright, and we even ran into The New Jersey Ghostbusters!

http://www.paranormalbooksnj.com

http://www.asburylanes.com

Every year Asbury Lanes and Paranormal Books present an over the top Halloween party and it’s always the place to be. If you still have not made your Halloween plans, then click over to ticketweb and order your tickets! Tragedy performs their signature metalized versions of The Bee Gees hits! The Sexy Armpit will be there, in costume of course. What costume will I be wearing? Not telling!

http://www.loewsjersey.org

The Landmark Loew’s Jersey Theatre in Jersey City is keeping it real. Really scary that is! Each year, New Jersey’s most legendary theatre presents horror movies during October. Starting tonight you can check out Brides of Dracula, Son of Frankenstein, and the original Nosferatu with a creepy live organ providing the soundtrack!

The Revision Theatre is presenting their production of The Rocky Horror Show on stage! This is the real play folks, you won’t just be watching the movie on a screen. There’s already great buzz on the actors and costumes so I’m looking forward to it! If you can’t make it, I’ll let you know how it is! Hope it makes me shiver with antici…pation! What are your plans for Halloween?

This Halloween Don’t Go Guido

Posted on October 22, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Check out the Pauly D wannabe giving us the Blue Steel

Halloween isn’t even here yet and I’m already preemptively sick of all the people dressing up as characters from MTV’s Jersey Shore. I can see the groups now, entering costume contests, lifting their shirts up to show their abs, comparing their poufs, and just being plain obnoxious. I live in Jersey so I don’t need to run into artificial guidos when there’s already enough real ones around as it is. Hopefully people thinking of buying these Jersey Shore costumes will think twice before making the purchase. Just a word of advice if you are actually thinking of going through with it, don’t you think there’s going to be a shitload of other people going as the same thing? Seriously people, this is Halloween not a Snook-a-like contest.

Because only people from Jersey like “Chewing Gum” right?

Stan Helsing’s New Jersey Scavenger Hunt

Posted on October 21, 2010 by sexyarmpit

2009’s Stan Helsing should have taken the small world of horror-comedies by storm. Maybe somewhere down the line it will become a cult classic when it gets replayed on every cable channel 600 times during October. Even though it’s from the mind of Bo Zenga, the man who produced Scary Movie, I thought Stan Helsing was funnier and a helluva lot more entertaining than any of the Scary Movie installments, and that’s coming from a big Ana Faris fan. Zenga wrote, directed and appeared in the film as well. Stan Helsing is streaming on Netflix and you can find it dirt cheap on Amazon.

The cast includes Steve Howey as the video store clerk, Stan Helsing, the two smoking hot lead actresses Diora Baird and Desi Lydic, Kenan Thompson from SNL, and a hilarious cameo by Leslie Nielsen. The film takes place on Halloween night and it also features parodies of Freddy, Jason, Mike Myers, Pinhead, Leatherface, and Chucky. Not only will you laugh at some of your favorite horror icons, but you’ll also get to go on scavenger hunt for all the New Jersey references. Why this movie has so many Jersey references is a mystery because it’s never really mentioned outright that they are in New Jersey. The movie was filmed entirely in Canada and Los Angeles. It’s quite apparent that Zenga wanted us to know that this film was set in New Jersaaay! If you can find more clues please go ahead and leave a comment!

The Linwood Post. A fake newspaper, but a REAL town in southern New Jersey! There’s also a scene where you’ll see a Linwood Special Education bus.

The Jason Voorhees knockoff has the noticeable letters “NJ” over the logo on his hockey jersey. Check out all the Friday the 13th related posts at The Sexy Armpit RIGHT HERE!!!

A “Visit Atlantic City” poster on the right AND on the left the famous Palisade’s Park poster is also visible in several scenes of the film.

Various New Jersey license plates are seen throughout the film.

“Jersey Boy” Cab Company

Vintage Atlantic City poster: “America’s Great Seashore Resort”

*His family moved from Boston to New Jersey, and he’s gone from E-Street to The Soprano’s: The soundtrack features a song written by Steven Van Zandt and recorded by Glen Phillips called “I Don’t Want to Go Home.”

*UPDATE* 10/25/10 On the commentary on the bluray, Bo Zenga mentions that he is a “Jersey boy” even though most profiles available on Zenga do not mention where he was born or grew up.

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Top 5 Scariest Things about Bon Jovi: NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 67

Posted on October 19, 2010 by sexyarmpit

It struck me as odd to see a Bon Jovi Halloween T-shirt being advertised at their official web store. A band like KISS can never be questioned for having a Halloween shirt because their whole persona is built on their macabre costumes, especially Gene Simmons. You won’t go to a Halloween party this year without seeing at least one person or an entire group dressed as KISS. Yet, even if you see a group of guys dressed up as Bon Jovi, they will easily be mistaken for “any ’80s hairband,” unless they’re the minority who decide on the “early ’90s Bon Jovi, after they all cut their hair.”

Bon Jovi Jack O’Lantern and Dagger T-Shirt

All of this leads me to wonder about this bizarre Bon Jovi/Halloween correlation they are touting on this cool Jack-O-Lantern T-Shirt which goes for an astounding $29.99! While you’re scrounging up the cash to pay for it, take a look at the Top 5 Scariest Things about Bon Jovi:

5. Sure he’s a talented songwriter but David Bryan’s hair is insanely ludicrous. Listen buddy, it’s time to go to whatever store in France that Bret Michaels did. Shit, even Gene Simmons hair, which looks like licorice flavored cotton candy, is better than that preposterous crown of curls. Dear Dave: this isn’t 18th century Europe!

4. Jon Bon Jovi’s veneers. Those are some humongous white chompers! His childhood dream of becoming the next Dr.Teeth and the Eletric Mayhem band is one step closer to realization, except for the good rocking music of course.

3. Jon Bon Jovi’s acting. If you ever need to kill any vampires, call Jon Bon Jovi: Freelance Vampire Slayer. He eradicates vampires with the power of his jazz hands.

2. Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora are Italians from Jersey. (Just in case you were wondering what happened to Alec John Such.)

1. What’s truly the scariest thing about Bon Jovi is that somehow people are buying their newer music. Every time I’m finished doing my business on the toilet, I look down at the water flushing into the black hole, and all I think of is “The Circle,” Bon Jovi’s latest atrocious album. If you happen to be rich and really cool and you decide to give out those ancient relics known as CD’s instead of candy for Halloween this year – don’t bother giving out any copies of Bon Jovi’s “The Circle.” Kids might throw it back at you.

The Jersey Jack O’Lantern!

Posted on October 18, 2010 by sexyarmpit

The Jersey Jack O’Lantern

Over the weekend I noticed an awesome tweet from our friend Laryssa of the Comma ‘n Sentence blog. She and her brother combined forces to carve the world’s coolest New Jersey Jack O’Lantern! Laryssa was nice enough to let me post some of the pictures she took during the creation of this badass pumpkin. Laryssa also offered us some insight as to what inspired her to cut The Garden State into her pumpkin:

“My brother and I are kind of obsessed with New Jersey. He attends school in Maryland, but he was home this past weekend for Fall Break. Making a New Jersey pumpkin was our way of celebrating how excited he was to be home. We thought about carving cartoon characters, even the typical Jack O’Lantern face. But this is more personal.”

A big thanks to Laryssa Wirstiuk and her brother! Remember to stop by her blog as well!

Ghostbusters Ectoplasm Energy Drink Review

Posted on October 16, 2010 by sexyarmpit

This Ghostbusters Ectoplasm energy drink jumped out at me from a small refrigerator in Spencer’s in the mall, very much like the terror dog did to Dana Barrett in the movie Ghostbusters. When I got home, I only took a couple of sips of the Ectoplasm and was not really impressed by it’s taste. The green color wasn’t as neon as a I thought it would be, and it didn’t glow in the dark, which was sort of a let down, but probably better for my insides. No ghosts flew out of the can after I cracked it open either. That’s probably a good thing also because I sold my Kenner proton pack and trap a long time ago. I couldn’t pinpoint the smell of the drink, but it was basically a Monster/Red Bull hybrid. It had a sour citrus/melon flavor and left a very syrupy texture in my mouth. The drink was filled with sodium, sugar, and of course, caffeine. Let’s face it, this drink has nothing on Hi-C Ecto-Cooler!

The reason why I mentioned that I only took a couple of sips of it is because I’ve recently kicked my caffeine addiction. Not sure if it was an actual addiction or if I am just being melodramatic, but regardless, I think it was a good move. I was constantly relying on energy drinks like Monster and Red Bull because I constantly felt tired. It made me start thinking that they were actually the reason why I was always tired. WRONG!!! The reason I’m always tired is because of this here blog. I stay up way too late working on posts. editing videos, and cropping pictures when I really should be sleeping. Here’s the indication that you’re staying up too late: You’re sitting at your computer desk but your eyes are shut and you’re completely incapacitated, only to wake up and realize you’re taking screen caps of some stupid movie that mentions New Jersey once. So I not only lack sleep, but a life as well.

Pounding these caffeinated concoctions sure made me alert and amped up, but not without side effects. My heart rate began to skyrocket in simple situations like walking up stairs. I also felt crappy and lethargic constantly. I knew this was from the energy drinks because I run all the time and go to the gym often and consider myself to be in good shape. Within the last month or so I curbed my caffeine intake altogether just to see if the enticing cans were the culprit. Sure enough my heart rate does not surge when I go up stairs and I don’t feel as jittery as I did when I was relying on these beverages. I still feel just as tired though, and every time I go to grab something with caffeine I get decaf because it’s obvious that I don’t need it and that the real problem is my lack of sleep. I tend to get an average of 5 or 6 hours of sleep per night which is not enough for me. I need more like 7 or 8 and I’ll probably still be tired! Have you tried this Ectoplasm yet? Do you think you’re addicted to caffeine too? Let me know, Love, The Sleepy Armpit.

A Halloween Meme

Posted on October 15, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Here’s a Halloween themed meme started by our friend Becca at No Smoking in the Skullcave. Visit Becca’s blog and shop when you’re through here! Feel free to join the meme and answer and post on your blog!

1. What is the worst treat to get when trick-or-treating?
For me, the worst was any hard candy or stuff that stuck in my teeth. I especially hated when I got sugar daddies that were hard as rocks.

2. What character from any horror film would you most like to play?
Sammi Curr, and even though it’s not truly a horror film, Riff Raff from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

3. Would you rather be a zombie, alien, or psycho? (why)
Definitely a Psycho…because there’s probably less work to put into it. Not a lot of makeup or costume shopping involved. Psychos are usually low maintenance!

4. How many Halloween, Friday the 13th, or Nightmare on Elm Street movies combined do you have on DVD?
Hmm…let me think. I own every NMOES including Freddy vs. Jason as well as F13 part 1,2,3,4, and 6.

5. What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?
I don’t get scared easily since I started watching horror films when I was about 4 or 5. My parents were cool with it. How can you tell a kid who loves Freddy Krueger that he can’t watch the movies? My friends weren’t allowed, but I was!!! I am more creeped out my psychological and atmospheric thrillers and horror films with less blood and gore and more mindf*cks. I’d say classic films like The Shining, 1984’s Nightmare on Elm Street, The Exorcist, Poltergeist and newer stuff like The Blair Witch Project and Lake Mungo.

6. Lamest costume you have worn on Halloween?
For my first Halloween my mom dressed me up as one of Santa’s helpers, but that was completely involuntary. I wish I could go back in time and tell my mom that it was totally the wrong month for that.

7. Favorite Halloween treat?
A king size Snickers. To me, that was the grandaddy of all Halloween treats. And actual Reese’s cups, not the fun size ones.

8. Friendly-faced jack o’lantern or scary one?
SCARY!!! The more sinister the better!

9. Have you ever had nightmares about a scary movie character chasing you?
If I did, I don’t really remember. I was never so scared of a horror movie character to the point where I’d dream about them chasing me.

10. Best thing about Halloween?
The weather, the atmosphere, the jack-o-lanterns, horror movies, the costumes, the parties, the house displays/decorations, and the memories.

11. Strangest Halloween custom you’ve heard of?
Plenty of people I know basically ignore the Halloween season altogether. That’s not fun at all.

12. Person in your family who most likes Halloween (not counting yourself)?
Believe it or not, no one in my family really loves Halloween like I do, of course my little niece and nephews like it because of the candy, but not so much the haunting aspect of it. So, I’d definitely say my girlfriend since she loves it and she’s definitely part of The Sexy Armpit family.

13. Are you superstitious? If so, name at least one superstition of yours.
I always seem to say that I’m NOT superstitious but I think we all are a little bit superstitious. There have been countless times that black cats have ran across the street in front of my car while driving, probably more often than most people. Oh, and I DO have a rabbit’s foot and I love the Stevie Wonder song, so I guess I actually am superstitious.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.48: Bride of Chucky

Posted on October 14, 2010 by sexyarmpit

“It was buried with my corpse in Hackensack, New Jersey”

The original Child’s Play was a fine horror film and gave me the creeps when I was a kid, but Child’s Play 2 and 3 didn’t grab me. It is rumored that Childs Play 3-D will be released next year, but for now, let’s take a look back at 1998’s Bride of Chucky.

Child’s Play was most effective within the time frame it was released since dolls like My Buddy and Cabbage Patch Kids were hugely popular. Dolls are really only popular with very young girls nowadays, while back in the ’80s dolls were marketed to boys and girls, making the idea of a murderous doll freaky for every young kid. The Chucky franchise changed after 10 years and with Bride of Chucky it incorporated a more comedic tone. Whether you like the direction of how the Child’s Play films continued or not, the Chucky story developed and became more intriguing than if they just continued to make straight up, cookie cutter sequels.

In Bride, Chucky finds himself a main squeeze, Tiffany (voiced by Jennifer Tilly), and off to killing they go. Bride of Chucky seemed to breath new life into the series even though Seed of Chucky has been the only film that followed in 2004. Bride is truly imaginative, it pays tribute to many iconic horror films, and it contains some amazing visuals. The film was directed by Ronny Yu, who later went on to direct Freddy vs. Jason. Katherine Heigl stars as Jade and John Ritter also appears as her uncle.

Chucky and Tiffany decide to embark on a road trip to a New Jersey cemetary in order to get the amulet and make Chucky human again. Soon after, they come to the realization that they’re dolls and they can’t actually drive. The dolls pay Jade’s boyfriend Jesse to drive them, but first, Tiffany has her own little montage where she’s applying makeup and painting her nails. Playing during this scene is “Call Me,” by recent Garden State Playmate Debbie Harry and Blondie.

Here’s a little trivia you can share with your horror buff friends: The son of Chucky and Tiffany was born in New Jersaaay!

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NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 66: Friday the 13th Part 3

Posted on October 13, 2010 by sexyarmpit

No you aren’t imagining things. I did indeed post about Friday the 13th Part 3 previously in the Halloween Countdown. Not to slash a dead horse with a machete, but the film does a hell of a job honoring the Jersey history of the franchise even though it wasn’t filmed there. Thanks to that I was able to squeeze a whole other post out of it! There’s never a shortage of Jersey related t-shirts for me to write about every Tuesday, but it definitely gets repetitive. When I come across obscure finds like this one in the background of a movie, that’s when this column is most interesting. Think about it, how many people are blogging about that t-shirt in Friday the 13th Part 3? The answer is probably only 1 person, because anyone in their right mind who wants tons of hits wouldn’t give two shits about that t-shirt…but I do.

I came across the shirt when the young and attractive Vera (Catherine Parks) and prankster Shelly (Larry Zerner) head to the local convenience store in the fictitious town of Green Valley, NJ. There they attempt to buy some crap from this rotten bitch of a cashier who is in the running against Shelly for possibly the worst mop of hair in history. OK, we get it, you “don’t accept no food stamps.”

They’re just trying to get some munchies but then they run into an evil biker gang who attempts to steal Shelly’s wallet. Maybe if the movie wasn’t in 3-D then Shelly wouldn’t have recklessly tossed his wallet directly toward the camera only to have it fall on the floor. The wallet was on the floor so it was fair game, and in a strange twist of events, the felonious biker gang opted NOT to steal that luscious Green Valley Has Everything t-shirt that is seductively hanging on the wall enticing all the customers with it’s over the top sexual innuendo but grabbed the wallet instead.

Now, I’m not positive, because no human being can see lettering that tiny and blurry, but it looks like in parentheses the shirt says (including wildlife), which is completely unfunny if read literally. Hopefully that is what it says and we won’t have to go and solve some 28 year old mystery.

In case you’re about to click over to Expedia to plan a trip, don’t bother. There is no town called Green Valley in New Jersey, but there is a campground named Green Valley Beach in Sussex County. For the Google Maps enthusiasts out there, Camp NoBeBoSco (Camp Crystal Lake) is about a half hour away from there. Now enjoy that freaking awesome song by Henry Manfredini and Michael Zager (from Passaic, NJ!) that plays while they’re shopping in the convenience store:

Ad Jerseum 10: Six Flags Great Adventure’s Fright Fest

Posted on October 12, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Ad Jerseum: So much Jersey advertising it’ll make you vomit!

Six Flags Great Adventure Fright Fest 2010

Here’s Six Flags Great Adventure’s latest online advertisement for their yearly Halloween celebration running through the end of October. The graphic really gets me in the Halloween spirit while the colors and outline of the coaster in the background truly captures the atmosphere of the season.

There’s nothing better than riding roller coasters on a crisp Fall night. That’s exactly what I did on Saturday October 9th, 2010 at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, NJ. Fright Fest kicks off at Six Flags every October and it’s always my favorite time to visit the park. I’ve been going there since I was a kid and I always try to make it part of my Halloween festivities.

There are Halloween themed shows going on while ghouls and zombies roam around scaring people. If you can get passed the crowds taking pictures of the creepy costumed stalkers, you might be able to get to an actual ride. We only had time to ride one coaster but that was enough for me. The line for Nitro stretched beyond the typical line and into the park itself, but we decided to tough it out. Nitro is the smoothest coaster in the park and gives you the most thrills of any coaster I’ve ever been on.

The other reason we wanted to go on such a busy Saturday night was that the Dirty Jersey Rock and Rollers Scarlet Carson would be performing at the Loud and Local stage (renamed Dead and Local for Fright Fest). It didn’t get any better than this! A perfectly spooky night at Fright Fest, my favorite roller coaster, and a concert from the best rockers from Jersey Scarlet Carson! The band also provided a song for Fright Fest’s Ghoulmaster’s Ghosts show which should be available on iTunes very soon. So, despite the throngs of people and the crazy amount of traffic getting out of there, it was an awesome night. Make sure you get out to Six Flags Great Adventure for Fright Fest if you’re in the area!

Author: sexyarmpit