Full Moon Horror Roadshow Recap from The Man Cave


Geof, The Master of The Man Cave, recaps our experience at the Full Moon Horror Roadshow and Film Festival over the weekend at the Forum Theater in Metuchen, New Jersey. I was anxious to go to the Roadshow after seeing the promotional video and reading about all the tables, contests, and autograph signings they have presented at other stops on the tour. On top of all that, the premiere of Evil Bong 3 would be in 3-D, and Sniff-O-Rama. How could I not fall for all these gimmicks, especially right in Jersey no less?!!

First, we realized the ring leader Charles Band did not show, then we saw that the attendees didn’t show up either! It’s unfortunate because the way the Roadshow is promoted makes it seem ridiculously awesome, but it ultimately fell extremely short of my expectations. The handlers seemed pretty unprepared and the whole night seemed disorganized. What made the night worse is that Evil Bong 3-D was nowhere near as good as its predecessors. For more, go check out Geof’s excellent coverage over at The Man Cave.

BIOCH License Plate

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I delved into The Sexy Armpit News Archives and found a news report from last year that aired on New York’s Fox 5 news. Reporter Cora-Ann Mihalik broke this truly newsworthy (sarcasm) story about Kim Romano a resident of Manville, New Jersey. The anchor at the time, Ernie Anastos, kept f*cking that chicken by introducing the story as “License Plates Personalized with Profanity!?!”

It all started with an anonymous complaint to the NJ DMV. Some idiot was so offended by Kim Romano’s plate that they took the precious time out of their life to send an e-mail complaint to the DMV about how appalling it was. 4 years prior to the story Kim says her BIOCH license plate started out as a joke but the DMV computers processed and approved the name without any problems. Then, at the time of the news report, the NJ DMV was forcing Kim to give the plates back and making her choose a new plate.

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Mihalik interviewed a couple of bystanders regarding this crucial news story. First, Michele Tubby, yes that’s actually her name, said “I don’t want my kids seeing it,” while a retired police officer said it’s not offensive because it looks like it says Bocce Ball. Not sure if that was his attempt at humor or if he’s dislexic: BIOCH/BOCHI BALL. I wouldn’t have given this much thought if I saw this plate on a car on the road. I’d probably get a laugh but that would be the extent of it considering it doesn’t look remotely offensive to me.

The report shouldn’t have implied that the word was offensive from the get go. The report would’ve been more effective if they polled the audience asking if people thought it was offensive or not and went into a tirade about how f*cking ridiculous the person was that complained about it. If it does look offensive to some, it’s obvious that Kim is the one who is the brunt of the joke. License plates don’t call other drivers names, they typically describe the driver of the car. Unless it’s this plate which I have already applied for: URNASS. If you can’t figure that one out then you need to go to text messaging school.
For those who are Bioch curious, a Google search will yield the infinite amount of ways to spell “Bioch,” and I must say that they way it’s spelled on the plate is not my first choice. I would spell it BIATCH primarily because there’s an “ahh” sound in there, and many people even get a little crazy and throw the letter Y in for good measure. To me, BIOCH just looks like the abbreviation for BIOGRAPHY CHANNEL. 

Not sure why Cora-Ann Mihalik conveniently left out the fact that Manville NJ is primarily known to many people in the state as the home of the establishment formerly known as Frank’s Chicken House now referred to as Delilah’s Den, but now you know. So there you go, BIOCH!

Monopoly Cake via Retroist

monopoly,atlantic city
via Retroist via Hannah Gibbons’ Flickr (thecakemaiden)

This is a beautifully crafted Monopoly cake by Hannah Gibbons that I found at The Retroist. Monopoly is one of the most famous board games of all time and many of the street names on the board are actually in Atlantic City, NJ. (Anyone want to buy Baltic Ave.?)

“When Monopoly was devised in the 1930’s, Atlantic City was chosen because it epitomized the kind of glittering tourist destination that many Depression-era Americans could only fantasize about visiting.”

Kocieniewski, David. and Fleisher, Linda. “Atlantic City May Lose in New Monopoly.” NY Times
28 Apr. 2006: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/28/nyregion/28monopoly.html

NY/NJ KISS EXPO…in NEW JERSEY OF COURSE!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLaozPCLD1k?rel=0]

I’m already pissed off about Blogger yanking my last post after their 24 hour outage so the snubbing of NJ in the KISS EXPO name hasn’t helped. Yet again New York has been given top billing over New Jersey. We’re now AFTER the forward slash. It’s like “Oh yeah, and New Jersey you can come too!” Even though the name of the event is the NY/NJ KISS EXPO, it’s clearly taking place in Somerset, New Jersey, more than 40 miles away from New York City. We’re used to stuff like this happening so I’m just ranting about because I’m not going to be able to make it to both the KISS EXPO and the FULL MOON FILM FESTIVAL which is happening later today at the Forumn Theater in Metuchen, NJ.

Check out the video posted above created by my friend Matt Porter. He’s a master at making videos, especially KISS related ones! I know he’ll be there and he’ll give me an inside scoop. I wanted to go to both events today but my mind is telling me yes and my wallet is telling me NO! Chances are if I went to the KISS Expo I would’ve dropped lots of dough. If you’re going, I hope it’s a CRAZY NIGHT and have a COLD GIN for me. Ahh, I couldn’t resist!

KISS EXPO – TODAY
Crowne Plaza Hotel
110 Davidson Ave
Somerset NJ 08873

“Walk This Way” NY Style: The Dirty Pearls and DMC

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FtDIIvMwY4?rel=0]

Occasionally The Sexy Armpit visits New Jersey’s wise ass older brother, New York. I went to check out The Dirty Pearls concert at Webster Hall which was also broadcast live on New York’s Rock station 101.9 WRXP. New York City is not only The Dirty Pearls home, but it’s aura gets them high as they immortalized in their last single “New York City is a Drug.” (They love New York as much as The Sexy Armpit loves Jersey.) That track ended their abbreviated set, but they also ripped through songs from their forthcoming album Whether You Like It or Not including their new single “Who’s Coming Back to Who?” and closed the set with a seismic rendition of The Ramones’ “Do You Remember Rock ‘n’ Roll Radio?”

No question, the highlight of the night came when they invited their much buzzed about “special guest” up on stage to perform with them. Lead singer Tommy London introduced none other than Darryl McDaniels, aka DMC from RUN f’n DMC!!! The crowd went ballistic when they heard the familiar guitar riff from “Walk This Way” as The Dirty Pearls mixed it up and shuffled back and forth on stage with the hip hop legend.

And for those of you who are contending that this post is not related to Jersey in any way – one of RXP’s DJs and hosts of the concert last night was New Jersey native Matt Pinfield, so that counts for something! Oh, and according to the omniscient Wikipedia, DMC currently resides in Wayne, NJ. Maybe The Dirty Pearls could sing “New Jersey is a Drug” for The Sexy Armpit next time they come to Jersey?

Grave Digger at Izod Center in East Rutherford

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7YX5XzsyY8?rel=0]

Considering the commercials for it were played during every mid-afternoon cartoon show in the ’80s, I’ve never actually attended a Monster Truck Jam. Grave Digger was created in 1981 and now there’s several Grave Digger trucks with various drivers allowing them to make appearances throughout the country at different times. Grave Digger only faces Bigfoot a few times a year, but the debate over which one is the most popular Monster Truck still rages on. Bigfoot is a few years older than Grave Digger, but Grave Digger has become synonymous with Monster Truck Jams. Monster Truck Jams come to East Rutherford and Trenton NJ annually and tickets are usually reasonable. Although Monster Truck Jams are a notch lower than WWE events, it still seems like a fun day out if you have kids who would enjoy witnessing some vehicular destruction, or for those single desperate guys who like to drool over Ms. Bigfoot! Monster Jam returns to the Izod Center on 2/4/2012.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 77: New and Improved Sexy Armpit T-Shirts!

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People always ask me “Jay, when are you making more Sexy Armpit T-Shirts?” It’s not like T-Shirts grow on trees people! A lot of work goes into creating a decent looking t-shirt and I’m no graphic designer by any means. Luckily, with sites like Cafe Press, Zazzle, and Red Bubble, it’s possible for anyone to create their own tees. A few years back, I whipped up the first ever batch of Sexy Armpit t-shirts through Custom Ink. Although they were fairly reasonable, creating the t-shirt through them wasn’t the easiest process.

Custom Ink charged extra for how many different ink colors a shirt has. This is how they soak you. It also forces people into taking necessary colors out of their graphic, therefore creating a crappy low budget looking t-shirt. I had to compromise the integrity of my graphic because I couldn’t afford to print up shirts with the logo as is. Custom Ink’s customer service group was excellent and they offer discounts if you order in bulk as well as if you agree to have their website printed on the back of your t-shirt in an average size font. But because of all these issues I decided to go elsewhere this time around.

I figured it was about time to at least have t-shirts available if someone wanted one. As you all know, I’m a t-shirt fiend and always have been, so I would actually wear a t-shirt with my own blogs logo. I created this new t-shirt through Red Bubble and I can honestly say that this tee has improved in every way possible. The logo is bigger and clearer with more accurate colors and you can also choose from any different color you want. Besides a regular tee and a v-neck, there’s also the option of ordering a girl’s baby tee style, a long sleeve t-shirt, as well as a hoodie.

Several years back, I gave out the first round of Sexy Armpit t-shirts away for free, solely as promotional items. The problem with that is, custom t-shirts are really damn expensive! I can’t afford to buy a bunch of these shirts so I tried to keep the prices low by taking almost half of what the average markup is. This translates to me not making much back on each tee. I wish these shirts could be a lot more reasonable because then more people would be apt to buy one, but above all, it is indeed a cool looking t-shirt. Not only fans and friends of this blog will like wearing it, but also fans of The Garden State and all things Jersey.

Zombie Beach Party in Asbury Park!

Zombie Beach Party, Asbury Park

This isn’t your typical day at the beach. If you stay away from the Jersey Shore because parking it’s always packed with guidos, parking is a nightmare, and the sand always burns three layers of skin off of your feet, then you might try playing dead for a change. If you’re not a beach person and Frankie and Annette make you want to peel your skin off, you may make an exception for the retro themed Zombie Beach Party in Asbury Park, coming to you from the organizers of the NJ Zombie Walk (winners of the 2010 Guinness Record for Largest Gathering of Zombies in the World).

RSVP at their Facebook page
May 28th, 2011
12:00 PM – 5:00 PM
Asbury Park Boardwalk

The Dirty Pearls LIVE RADIO CONCERT!!!

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On WEDNESDAY MAY 11th 2011 don’t miss out on the chance to be a part of the live audience at Webster Hall in NYC when The Dirty Pearls play 101.9 WRXP’s LIVE radio concert!

I give credit to RXP since they are the only station in the local area (besides The Sexy Armpit’s former station 105.5 WDHA) who attempts to showcase independent and unsigned bands. They are also smart enough to capitalize on the incredible rock scene that resides in New York’s lower east side, headed by The Dirty Pearls.

This historic concert will be hosted by RXP DJ’s including New Jersey’s own Matt Pinfield along wtih Leslie Fram, and Rich Russo. If you can’t make it to Webster Hall you can tune into “Anything, Anything 10 O’Clock News Live Edition” at 10:00 PM on 101.9 WRXP or streaming on their website from anywhere in the world!

This 19 and over event is only $10.19 to get in!
BUY TICKETS HERE
Doors open at 8:30 PM

This Is Gonna Hurt – A Dark Ride Through Nikki Sixx’s Mind

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Rock stars are not exempt from aging. Even after 30 years in Motley Crue, Nikki Sixx is still one of the coolest motherf*ckers in rock and roll, but the sad fact is  – he’s getting older! More than his previous books, his latest, This Is Gonna Hurt shows that Nikki isn’t afraid to expose his vulnerabilities. He may have written songs about strippers, doing drugs, drinking whiskey, riding motorcycles, and dying and coming back to life, but not one of his songs exposes what’s going on in Nikki’s mind in the intimate way that This Is Gonna Hurt does.
If you’ve read The Dirt and The Heroin Diaries, you’ve lived vicariously through periods of Nikki Sixx’s life. But, aside from doing a lot of drugs what do you really know about Nikki Sixx? This Is Gonna Hurt, is like a rickety dark ride through his mind. Even though I’m a big fan of Nikki Sixx, this book showed me a side of Nikki I wasn’t aware of.
Nikki’s writing style has always been very personal, but here that style comes full circle. Parts of his previous books were culled from old diary entries whereas this is a more timely account of his thoughts and feelings. Sure he discusses a few old stories, but for the most part he brings you up to speed with his life as it is now. He’s lived through drug problems, a divorce, and challenges within his band.
Throughout the book I appreciated his attempts to spark the creativity of the reader. He doesn’t want to just tell us stories, he yearns to make people look at things differently, appreciate life and art, and stand up for themselves. He continuously reminds us that he’s had a second chance at life and he’s never let that idea escape him. Capturing beauty through writing and photography is one of the ways he’s broadened his scope as an artist. He’s not trying to hold on to the past, he’s been trying to soak up every beautiful piece of life there is and he’s poured it into this book.
For a guy who many thought was just a dumb big haired bassist back in the ’80s, his brilliance is presented here for all to read and look at. For the past several years Nikki has been exploring and taking advantage of various ways of self expression. Nikki writes, tweets, hosts a radio show, and has an extremely awesome side band that he’s passionate about called SIXX A.M who just released their latest album also titled This Is Gonna Hurt. All of this indicates that Nikki Sixx continues to adapt to the times and doesn’t plan on packing it in any time soon.
If his firm grasp on social media doesn’t surprise you, then his view on Hollywood will. Early on, Nikki explains how his outlook on his own stardom has changed drastically since the beginning of his career. He’s sick of showbiz and the fact that the media tries to dictate what’s beautiful. One moment in the book that I especially applauded was when he trashed Keeping Up With The Kardashians and similar shlocky shows. While it’s perhaps not as riveting, This Is Gonna Hurt is definitely more telling than the typical drug addled exploits of The Dirt and The Heroin Diaries.

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The Motley Crue founder, songwriter, and bassist shows off his affinity for bones, (human and otherwise) and his addiction to photography. The visual aspect of This Is Gonna Hurt is more enticing than a regular book that merely offers bland off white pages and black type. This is more of a scrapbook with glossy pages and it’s so much more enjoyable to consume. Breaking in between each chapter are interludes that include photos, song lyrics, and even some inspirational self help tips. Nikki also includes chronicles from his tour around the globe, the creative vibe between SIXX AM, anecdotes on Motley Crue, and even some tidbits on the ill fated Brides of Destruction.
I only had two complaints about the book. First, not to take anything away from Nikki’s photography skills, because he’s damn good at it, but the subject matter in the photos might make you think you were looking at a book on a coffee table at Marilyn Manson’s house. There are plenty of photos of freaks, dead flowers, dunce caps and gravestones that Nikki shot himself. You’ll also see a few self portraits as well as a glimpse into his own studio filled with oddities. The other issue I had is that a few pages have red type on dark backgrounds which is fairly difficult to read if you’re in low light.
Just because Nikki has enjoyed ridiculous levels of fame and money doesn’t mean he can’t experience mental anguish. In the book, he warns that drugs are not a cure all and delves into many issues that he continues to struggle with even after so many years of being sober. You’ll also get to read how he fearlessly discusses the true love he had for Kat Von D and how she totally broke his heart right before he left to go on tour with Motley Crue. What a bitch! This Is Gonna Hurt will make you realize that Nikki Sixx’s life wasn’t all about eyeliner, smack, and shiny stripper poles.

http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=thesexarm-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0062061879&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr