GREAT GEEK GORGE #2

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Welcome to the 2nd installment of the Great Geek Gorge. My latest rundown includes cool stuff I’ve procured, movies I’ve seen, and food I’ve devoured. I’m getting to a point where I have so much media to take in I don’t know where to start. Between DVD’s to watch and books to read there’s not enough time in a weekend to enjoy it all. The real question is, where do I begin?

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Thunder Punch He-Man and WWE Rumblers – For several years I had my toy habit in check. I was in total control. The downward spiral began when I became the owner of one of Miss Sexy Armpit’s best friend’s old curio cabinet. The illuminated cabinet had shelves with glass doors and it gave me the perfect excuse to run rampant down virtual toy aisles and ebay to fill up any open space on the shelves. Folks, trust me, this is not a good idea and I don’t recommend it unless you just won the Mega Millions. If you were the winner, you go to sleep with a smile on your face, while I go to sleep knowing that I have the brand spanking new Thunder Punch Punch He-Man. We both win in extremely different ways.

One of the things that soured me on collecting figures and toys was because the items you really want are always impossible to find in stores and then it’s off to ebay or an online toy shop where it’s going for triple the price of what you could’ve bought it for at Target or Wal-Mart. The sick part is, it’s always dudes like me in their 30s looking for this crap. I never see little kids searching through any of the pegs in the toy aisles. That’s precisely why in the extremely rare instances, when I actually do find a certain figure I’ve been searching for, then it’s reason for mini-celebration. I did indeed hold an small inner celebration when I found Cody Rhodes’ WWE Rumbler figure. He was advertised on the card backs of Rumblers that have been out for a long time, but the face masked Rhodes figure was nowhere to be found, not even online. For a second I thought it was only smoke and mirrors, but finally, hanging on a peg all the way in the back at Wal-Mart was none other than the present WWE Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes/Rey Mysterio 2-pack.

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Naughty and Nice: The Good Girl Art of Bruce Timm – If you were a geek before it was cool to be one then you probably adore the art of Bruce Timm. If you aren’t familiar with his sublime art you are definitely missing out. Timm is responsible for various DC Universe animation including perhaps the most pure incarnation of Batman ever, Batman: The Animated Series. Timm’s accomplishments don’t end there, but you can be delighted by all his further artwork via a Google image search. Recently, a dream came true for Timm fans in the form of Naughty and Nice: The Good Girl Art of Bruce Timm. It’s quite a hefty tome, but one you can go back and gaze at all the time.

Archie Meets KISS Collector’s Edition – I don’t care if it’s KISS Meets Scooby Doo or The Phantom of the Park, KISS meets anyone is good by me. It could be KISS meets Balki Bartokomous or your Aunt Laura and Uncle Arthur, it won’t matter to me. KISS appearing in Archie comics is pretty damn cool and this hardcover collector’s edition includes the whole comic series with art by the awesome Dan Parent and story by Alex Segura as well as a ton of exclusive content. Oh and did I mention there’s ZOMBIES???

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Fanta Kolita – I’m usually not one to go into detail about the lengths I go to in order to get my hands on stuff I want, ahh who am I kidding? Yes I am! A friend of The Sexy Armpit described my recent acquisition as such: “You have your soda flown in?” HAHA! I guess I’m now in that pretentious category. I try to buy American as much as possible, but when the most ultimate tasting soda is only available in Costa Rica, well, sometimes there’s no choice, you just have to import that shit. It all began like this: A long time ago in Club Cool at Epcot Center, (you know the place where everyone samples various sodas from around the world?) I was whisked away to Costa Rica when the fruity bubble gum flavoring of Fanta Kolita first hit my mouth. Every time I go to Disney I can’t wait to get my brief taste of Fanta Kolita, it’s so good. I figured you only live once, so I bucked up the money for shipping and ordered it from Costa Rica. Some people dream of exotic vacations and living in mansions, while I occasionally like to have myself a tasty beverage.

The Avengers – Possibly the best superhero movie ever and definitely the best superhero team-up movie ever, especially since there isn’t much competition in that department. Unfortunately, for us DC’ers the only live action Justice League movie you can watch is the 1997 piece of crap made for TV pilot that’s buried somewhere in the depths of YouTube. As a DC fan it’s embarrassing. I’m more proud of the cheesy live action 1979 Legends of the Superheroes and The Superhero Roast. One of these days DC will capitalize on The Justice League. Until that time, The Avengers sure did kick some serious ass.

Kettle Corn – When watching movies you can’t forget the popcorn. For my Wrestlemania gathering this year, Marcelo, a good friend of The Armpit, brought over a bag of kettle corn. I’ve had kettle corn before and thought it was pretty good, but when I ripped into this bag of Popcorn, Indiana Kettle Corn I was completely blown away. This is kettle corn at it’s best. What made such an impact on me was the fact that I was just expecting plain old popcorn with a bit of sweetness, but this just has that special something. Now I’m on a mission to check out some locally made kettle corn such as Kemp’s Kettle Corn of New Jersey. If I get my hands on it I’m sure you’ll read about it.

Don’t go thinking that I’m at all proud of myself after drinking sugary soda and inhaling full bags of popcorn. I cry myself to sleep at night because I’m contributing to America’s terrible eating habits. It just means that I’ll have to do more Sweatin’ To The Oldies.

The Dirty Pearls Record Release Party, May 5th 2012

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebptLYZRiwo?rel=0]

Enchiladas can be eaten all freaking year, so I opted for some Rock and Roll instead. 2012’s Cinco De Mayo, a night usually reserved for chips and salsa and doing tequila shots off muffin tops, will go down as a major milestone for New York City’s prodigious party bringers The Dirty Pearls.

In his writings, Nostradamus once prophesied that there would one day be a mass of people who will experience full-length phonic exhilaration at the hands of five defiled gems. Ages later, actually, as of last night, the prophecy has come true. The five defiled gems Nostradamus spoke of were The Dirty Pearls and the full-length record finally came. Okay so Nostradamus didn’t predict any of that, but lead singer Tommy London has been promising a full length record for quite a long time and now it’s finally available! On Saturday night, the band celebrated the culmination of all their studio work with a huge concert at The Gramercy Theatre. London described the album to the packed house as “…our f*cking Chinese Democracy…but it actually sounds good.” It was a big night for The Dirty Pearls and I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

Not only did I try to squelch my insatiable lust for Mexican cuisine all night, but I was also missing Eli Manning hosting Saturday Night Live. See, Rock and Roll is all about sacrifice my friends…and DVR’ing shit. Only the hard working bands were playing out that night, all the others were stuffing their face with quesadillas and mainlining Patron. All the way across the country, The Black Keys were playing a concert in Sacramento. The Red Hot Chili Peppers were playing in Newark at The Prudential Center, (a venue I’d love to see The Dirty Pearls play at, but one step at a time here) but the most monumental show in the entire country was happening on East 23rd Street in NYC.

My ability to really go out and rock hard has decreased exponentially since entering my 30’s. For instance, my tolerance for annoying people is very low, hence I drove rather than took the train. Cinco De Mayo indicated to me there might be a lot of drunken idiots on the train. It turned out to be the right move because the night began with one of the quickest and most stress free rides into Manhattan I’ve ever driven. Emptying the bladder was first on my to do list, as I said, at this advanced age rocking can only happen after all these details are taken care of. Next, I set up Miss Sexy Armpit, our friend Lori, and myself up with a beer. As we caught the tail end of Ariana and The Rose’s last song, we found ourselves in an overwhelming predicament. I stood in a crowd of people and Miss Sexy Armpit’s gaze was fixated on the rows of stadium type seating in the back of the theatre. We were now faced with a huge decision. Do we completely lose our credibility and get our rock licenses revoked by sitting in those seats like a bunch of geriatrics? When the opportunity presents itself, we usually choose seats. Unless it’s Gwen Stefani and she might have her crotch in my face.

Even with all the local bands that I talk to on a regular basis, I had not heard of Liquid Blonde, one of the bands on the bill. They seemed to have characteristics like Powerman 5000 and Orgy. Their look is a little bit futuristic/punk while their sound incorporates electro type beats with heavy rock. Maybe there’s a rap-rock revival on the horizon because a couple of their songs had that vibe. I just Googled them as I write this and see that their tag line is “Electro-Sci-Fi Rock Orgy” so I wasn’t far off. Their drummer is jacked bigger than any of the WWE Superstars and I think they had a topless keyboardist, so there’s that.

The “Super-Moon” was supposedly out on Saturday night, but it was Star Killer that stole its thunder. The band, lead by Jasin Cadic, exploded onto the stage bringing their usual madness. They tore it up with all their tracks from their EP and then some including “As The Sky Is Falling” “Out of Range,” “Too Wrong” and “Picture Perfect.” The winning element to Star Killer’s songs is their ability to transport you to another world. You really get the feeling you’re in some sort of apocalyptic planet when listening to their music. Cadic’s enigmatic style and the aura that the band evokes is almost haunting and resonates in your mind long after their performance is over.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any weirder. It’s not often that you see one guy come out with no band and no crazy lights and merely sing along with a backing track. Whether it’s budgetary or just the way he wants to present himself, Breedlove made a statement. You don’t need all the glitz, you just have to sound great and be original. During his impressive vocal set, the long-haired, bespectacled free spirit Breedlove mentioned that it’s not all the time that he can get a gig as grand as opening for The Dirty Pearls at Gramercy. Pull up his song “I Never Had” and you’ll hear what Breedlove is all about.

As evident on the bill that night, there’s quite a scene going on in the lower parts of Manhattan. A pretty large chunk of credit for that needs to go to The Dirty Pearls who have no problem welcoming fellow bands and singers into their world. During the show, the ‘Pearls frontman Tommy London mentioned that they are all about mutual respect and helping other bands in the scene. Recently, London started up his own label, Rivington Records, which will be spotlighting bands from the New York scene and beyond. 

As far as performances go, I never expect anything less than the best from The Dirty Pearls. They pour with intensity, it’s as if they actually run on “Caffeine and Gasoline” (track 3 on Whether You Like It Or Not, in case you were curious). Marty E., Dougie, Tommy, Sunny and Tommy London ripped through all their staple tracks including “New York City Is a Drug,” “Sucker For a Sequel,” “Static,” “Luvsikluv,” “Whether You Like It Or Not,” and of course “Who’s Coming Back To Who.” After many promises from London about the album having no ballads, they relented and threw in “You Got Me Where You Want Me” at the last minute. As a dude who switches off his brain when bands perform ballads, I was enthralled by how cool this track is. I even fired up my Zippo lighter app on the iPhone. At one point soon after Tommy London thanked everyone for being there and mentioned that he read on his Twitter feed that there were people in the crowd who came from as far as Berlin, Germany and even…NEW JERSEY hahaha!!! Those of us from across the river appreciate the shout out!

For the long time fans they threw in a medley of some old school ‘Pearls tracks like “Rockstarlivin’, “Hollywood La La La,” and one of my all-time favorites “Gimme, Gimme.” After their set was over, fans in the crowd resoundingly chanted “ONE MORE SONG! ONE MORE SONG,” and The ‘Pearls did not disappoint. They indeed came back to give us one more, but it wasn’t theirs. They performed a cover that was indicative of what they were feeling at that moment and that was Aerosmith’s “Sweet Emotion.”

All these paragraphs aren’t enough to express how perfectly The Dirty Pearls capture the raw emotion of rock and roll. If Elvis is The King, Frankie is The Chairman of the Board, Bruce is The Boss, then The Dirty Pearls head up New York City’s Department of Rock and Roll in the 5th Precinct.  

The Dirty Pearls first full-length record Whether You Like It or Not is available HERE

The Hindenburg Disaster: 75 Years Later

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSuR2IgnimA]
Writer Mike Frassinelli of The Star Ledger has written an insightful piece in memory of the Hindenburg disaster. 75 years ago today the German zeppelin burst into flames and crashed onto a field of the Lakehurst Naval Air Station in New Jersey. Frassinelli’s article catches up with survivors of the disaster and brings to light first hand accounts from people who watched the airship pass over their own towns in Jersey. It’s an excellent read and a fitting memorial to those lost in the horrific disaster.

Read it here:
The Hindenburg 75 Years Later: Memories Time Cannot Erase via NJ.com

Mary McCormack is May’s Garden State Playmate!

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She may have been one of the reasons why Howard Stern and his first wife were separated. I feel so damn old saying this, but, back in the late ’90s, during the making of Private Parts, Howard constantly proclaimed on his show that if he wasn’t married he would love to be with actress Mary McCormack. He called her his “movie wife,” as she portrayed Alison Stern in the 1997 film based on his best selling book.

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Any guy who has seen Private Parts remembers the screen shot I grabbed on the right

Since starring as Howard’s movie wife, McCormack appeared in a steady stream of films and TV shows. Some of her credits include Deep Impact, the underrated comedy Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (Nuckin’ Futs!)K-Pax…yes K-PAX, and TV shows ER and The West Wing. McCormack also had a main role in 2007’s 1408, a pretty decent little thriller based off a Stephen King story.

Most recently the Plainfield, NJ-born actress starred in USA Network’s In Plain Sight. The series premiere in 2008 grabbed over 5 millions viewers. Despite its initial success, In Plain Sight’s five season run will be coming to an end with tonight’s episode.

IMDB provides some trivia on McCormack: She is friends with fellow New Jerseyan Chelsea Handler, she graduated Wardlaw-Hartridge School in Edison, NJ, and she obviously has milf qualities but settle down dudes…she’s married with children!

Jersey Shore Shark Attack…Finally!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eACzpD2FNos?rel=0]

That title might seem completely insane, but it’s not what you think. I’m not saying “Damn, FINALLY someone came up with the idea to merge movies like JAWS and Piranha with MTV’s JERSEY SHORE type buffoonery. I’ll reiterate: that’s NOT what I was saying. When I say finally, it means that it took so damn long to get a trailer for what at first glance looks be quite a piece of shit. Now, when I say possible…there’s like a 6% chance that it will totally kick ass. OK, I’m exaggerating. The truth is, it looks terrible in the most awesome way possible and I’m glad that we finally have a trailer after nearly 2 years of it’s initial announcement.

In the trailer we see all the typical stereotypes of how the country views people from New Jersey. Actually, we aren’t all mongoloids. I speak normally and don’t sleep in a tanning bed. These errors are inconsequential when I think about what an event this movie will be for me. I’m always excited to watch an unintentionally funny, shlocky horror movie takes place in New Jersey. As you can see, the clones of the Jersey Shore cast get guns and hunt sharks at the end of the trailer. The effects are terrible so I’ll be going in with extremely low expectations.
The casting bemuses me though. If I was a kid on Twitter I’d probably tweet this in reaction to the trailer: “That moment when you realize Joey Fatone is in Jersey Shore Shark Attack.” I was taken aback for a moment when I realized Fatone shows up on the scene. Including the heftiest member of N’Sync, all the main stars were born in Brooklyn, NY. What the hell is that crap? The casting director should’ve taken care that they hired Jersey born actors and actresses considering there’s a ton of them. It would’ve made it more authentic. One huge misconception is that people from Jersey do NOT talk like they are from Brooklyn unless they are from Brooklyn and moved to Jersey. We aren’t all Tony Danza clones here contrary to popular belief.
Joey Fatone, Jack Scalia, Paul Sorvino, Tony Sirico, and hold up a second…WILLIAM F*CKING ATHERTON!?!?! NOW I’M IN. I’M SO F’N IN. I’m front and center for what just turned into a magnificent piece of entertainment. Sold. *SPOILERS* Vinny from Jersey Shore plays a news reporter who spills the beans that Joey Fatone’s character GETS EATEN BY A SHARK! I bet the shark is TEARIN’ UP HIS HEART as we speak. No release date has been announced yet, so until then “Bye, Bye, Bye!”

The Devils: Jersey’s Team

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As we say goodbye to our NBA franchise here in New Jersey, we can be thankful that we still have the New Jersey Devils in the NHL. They are presently the ONLY professional sports franchise with balls (or pucks) big enough to tout their Jersey affiliation.

The Devils home ice is at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ. “The Rock” as it’s known is one of the coolest venues for sports and concerts in New Jersey. It’s accessibility from anywhere you are in the area is unmatched and the restaurants and bars all have awesome views of the arena action. You’ll see lots of Devils memorabilia and signage around the grand concourse level including the above pictured map of New Jersey that I snapped a picture of the last time I was there.

Presently, the New Jersey Devils are 0-1 in the conference semi-finals against the Philadelphia Flyers.

Cena Shows No Mercy in New Jersey

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John Cena has busted his ass in WWE for many years. For instance, let’s take you back to October 3rd, 2004 when Izod Center used to be called The Continental Airlines Arena. At WWE’s No Mercy Pay-Per-View, John Cena defeated Booker T in the finals of a 5-match series for the United States Championship. But, it wasn’t until April of 2005 that Cena won his first WWE Championship. Since then, Cena has been carrying the WWE for a solid 7 years whether he’s had the title or not, which is illustrated in the main attraction to tonight’s pay-per-view event.

It’s WWE’s Extreme Rules. Although neither of these guys have a title, the main event is John Cena vs. the chump from UFC, Brock Lesnar. If you haven’t followed WWE lately, Lesnar recently made his return on Monday Night Raw and brawled with John Cena. Ever since he made his WWE TV debut in 2002, I was never sold on Lesnar. His voice irritates me and considering he was an amateur wrestler his in-ring skills aren’t fluid. He’s big, powerful, and has an attitude, but that’s about it. In the early 2000’s there seemed to be an influx of guys like that joining the company. Guys like Batista bored the crap out of me, and regardless of his popularity, Lesnar fits in that same category.

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John Cena on the other hand gets a bum rap. Cena is a hard worker and is constantly getting criticized for his limited in-ring repertoire, which I think is ridiculous. Wrestling fans like to boo Cena because it’s the thing to do. They love to be annoying. If you ever watch WWE programming there’s 100% chance you will hear the audience chant “What?” or “Yes!” at any moment just because that’s what they do. Is Cena as technically savvy as Bret Hart or the late Mr. Perfect? Obviously not, but Cena has a hugely successful mix of many wrestling characteristics and he gets no credit for it. Cena’s character is pulled from guys like Sammartino, and Hogan, just like a rock band is influenced by their favorite bands from previous years. That’s the way it should be.

The main event at Wrestlemania 28 was a joke as well. There’s no reason why The Rock had to come back as an obnoxious asshole and WIN against Cena. Cena could’ve used the win over Rock to solidify his legacy. The Rock has lost to plenty of worse opponents than Cena. It’s also been said that Cena carried the Rock and his ring rust the entire match. Why does WWE continue to give in to the half of their fans that dislike Cena? He’s a huge international superstar who is the figurehead of the company. The name associated with WWE nowadays is and has been John Cena for the last several years much in the same was that Hogan’s was in the ’80s and early ’90s. I’m not a fan of seeing the same thing all the time, but if the fans want to see someone new and exciting take the torch, someone has got to step up big time. Lesnar is not that guy.

There’s a new crop of wrestlers finally getting TV time on Raw and Smackdown. Hopefully these guys will show some sort of spark that the company has been sorely lacking. The WWE Superstars, aside from guys like C.M Punk, Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and a few others, just seem like they are going through the motions. So, if half of the WWE fans hate Cena so much, I’d like to see them choose the next young talent who they think will dethrone him. One thing is for sure, Cena won’t mind passing the torch to one of them, unlike The Rock.

WWE fans in N.J can also look forward to No Way Out coming to the Izod Center on June 17th, 2012.

Nerd Lunch Episode 34: Wrestlemania Memories

Listen to episode 34 of the Nerd Lunch Podcast! Join Jeeg, Pax from Cavalcade of Awesome, Downs from Atomic Geeks and myself on a trip down to the squared circle. We get a little rowdy as we cut promos, and discuss our favorite Wrestlemania matches and moments.

Great Geek Gorge #1

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Geeks need their gratification. Just as the wise men brought baby Jesus gifts, and ancient peeps sacrificed stuff up to the Gods, in the case of geeks the world over, they also need to be indulged or they get a little cranky. Here’s a little rundown of stuff that has satisfied my voracious geek appetite. In this first installment you’ll read about things I’ve added to my collection lately, things I’d like to add to my collection, things I’ve recently received as gifts, food I’ve chowed down on, and events I’m planning to attend.

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1. My 2nd favorite film of the Marvel franchise is Thor. My future mom-in-law got me this awesome Thor Pez dispenser! I have a small collection of Pez dispensers and this one fits in nicely beside Captain Jack Sparrow, Darth Vader, and The Incredible Hulk.

2. For my birthday my Dad got me the entire collection of The Muppet Show on DVD! Watching these shows is going to bring back so many memories!

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3. Who doesn’t like stuffing their face once in a while? The absolute BEST place to do that in New Jersey is at Harrah’s Resort Waterfront buffet in Atlantic City. That is where you will find The Absolute Greatest Brownies of All Time (among other delicious offerings.)

4. This might fall into the “why the hell did you buy that” category, but I’ve actually been following the production of The Witches of Oz for a long time. I tried watching it and it really isn’t that good, but as a fan of Wizard of Oz and Return to Oz, I thought I might like this. Until the upcoming 3-D production of Dorothy of Oz comes out in a few years, I’ll take what I can get. Clearly it shouldn’t even be mentioned in the same paragraph as those previous films since it’s on the level of The Asylum productions, but alas, I took a chance on it anyway. If you’re thinking of checking this out, take into consideration that I saw Wicked on Broadway and didn’t enjoy that either.

5. The Batman Files. When this ultimate book of Batman first came out it was priced at upwards of $100 dollars at some book stores. I’ve splurged more cash on sillier things, but for some reason I was hesitant on picking this book up. It was wise to wait because, as always, there was a pretty hefty price drop on the book. I got the book at less than half price. If you’re interested – type it into Google shopping. Well worth it for hardcore Batman fans.

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6. You know how people say “There’s no such thing as bad pizza?” Well, I feel the same way about Doritos. Even the lamest gimmick Doritos, like the mystery flavor a few years back, were fine by me. I can’t really get behind Doritos Jacked though. The whole idea behind them negates what Doritos are all about. They made these chips harder to create more of a crunch, but I’d rather not break my teeth, thank you. And even though they amped up the amount of Dorito dust on these suckers, the actual chip is twice the size of a normal Dorito chip. They are more like the size of a restaurant style Tortilla chip. You need to take a few bites of one chip rather than stuff a whole chip in your mouth. Bah. Whatever. If you’re going to try them, I suggest the Smoky Chipotle BBQ flavor if you’re into that type of thing.

7. Mighty Man and Yukk. One of my favorite cartoons of my childhood. The concept is completely insane. This dudes dog is so ugly that the dog has to wear a doghouse on his head and the the dude shrinks down to a super tiny size and becomes a superhero. Totally ridiculous, but I love it and have been looking for it literally forever. Found a collection of every episode on DVD taped off of Boomerang. I’ll take what I can get considering there hasn’t been an official release.

8. Finally my friends in one of my favorite bands The Dirty Pearls are celebrating the release of their debut full length album at the Gramercy Theatre in New York City on May 5th! The Dirty Pearls will be performing along with Star Killer and other special guests! If you don’t have plans for Cinco De Mayo or you are tired of the typically mobbed parties at the local Jose Tejas. GET YOUR TICKETS HERE: http://thegramercytheatre.com/event/000048677B6062DE

Move Over NYCC – It’s The Asbury Park Comic Con!

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For more information visit:

Finally a comic convention for the Jersey Shore! One of the coolest, most legendary spots in Jersey,  Asbury Lanes, will be hosting a comic book convention on Saturday, May 12th. Can’t beat the Free Admission either! That’ll give you more of an excuse to buy Batman #14 when you’re there.

So hop in the Family Truckster and head down to Asbury Park for a day full of comic books, comic artists, vendors, a DJ, and a full service bar (for the adults…) Personally, I have an early afternoon wedding to go to, but if I was free, I’d be there dropping Hamiltons.

May 12th, 2012
11am – 6pm
Asbury Lanes
209 4th Avenue & Kingsley
Asbury Park, NJ