t-shirt Archives - Page 8 of 14

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 49: Guidon’t!

Posted on April 27, 2010 by sexyarmpit

GUIDON’T T-Shirt available at T-Shirt Bordello

The great Darius Whiteplume of Adventures in Nerdliness brought this tee to The Sexy Armpit’s attention. Guidos have been associated with Jersey since the dawn of time. When cavemen roamed the land, tanned, roided up, fist pounding, shaved beasts scientifically referred to as Guidos gallivanted around New Jersey. For the past several years anthropologists knew they weren’t officially extinct, but they definitely seemed dormant for a while, until now. Thanks to MTV’s Jersey Shore we’ve seen more and more guidos come out of the woodwork, almost as if they think it’s socially acceptable to be a Guido now. Go back and take refuge in the club where you belong! The Guido has become a mockery and this shirt sums up that sentiment perfectly. Regardless, they are more marketable now than ever because of Snooki, The Situation, and the rest of MTV’s Jersey Shore cast. The graphic on this tee would make a great logo for Guidobusters: The Movie, how much do you want to bet it gets greenlit before Ghostbusters 3?

**T-Shirt Bordello refers to this shirt as their “Fist Pumping Tribute to Jersey Shore” and it’s “made of 100% cotton for that comfy feeling you get after changing the channel from Jersey Shore.” Just before this post was published the tee was on sale for a rock bottom price of $2.99, so get it while you can! www.tshirtbordello.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 48: Bon Jovi “They’re Back!”

Posted on April 21, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Vintage Bon Jovi “New Jersey” T-Shirt from 1988

wyco_vintage has this for sale on eBay

What a coincidence! This vintage Bon Jovi New Jersey T-shirt from 1988 is going for a whopping $150 bucks on eBay and an average ticket for Bon Jovi’s string of upcoming shows at the New Meadowlands Arena in May just so happens to be the same price! What a RIP! Of course, that’s not as bad as some of the other Jovi shirts I have seen on various sites which are going for upwards of $300 dollars! You are f-cking out of your mind if you pay that kind of money for a ratty, old t-shirt that’s more than 20 years old! I’d rather go experience an overpriced concert while simultaneously bypassing the $35 dollar beer/hot dog combo meal than buy a ridiculously priced, USED t-shirt.

On the front of this shirt the band continues the Italian “mobster” stereotype that’s associated with New Jersey. Although, the guy on this shirt looks a lot like Lips Manlis from Dick Tracy.

And what’s with the back of this shirt? Who the hell did Jovi think they were back then, DOKKEN? This “They’re Back!” business belongs on the back of an Alice Cooper or W.A.S.P t-shirt, NOT family friendly heartthrobs Bon Jovi! I’m getting scared just reading the back of this shirt, it’s scarier than David Bryan’s horrific hair.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 47: Hard Rock Cafe Atlantic City

Posted on April 14, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Art from a Hard Rock Cafe Atlantic City T-Shirt

The nation’s second most popular gambling city has a plan to eliminate their competition. Surrounding areas such as Pennsylvania, Connecticut, and New York have attempted to give Atlantic City a run for its money. But just like Dr. Janosz Poha said about the impervious Vigo the Carpathian, these other second rate gambling establishments “are like the buzzing of flies to him.” Taking its cue from swank hotels like The Borgata, The Hard Rock plans to create one hell of an upscale experience to sucker people back to the city that Monopoly took its street names from. The $300 million dollar project will include a boutique hotel and casino similar to their Las Vegas location. Translation: another reason for your girlfriend to try and entice you to hop on the GSP to voluntarily insert wads of hard earned cash into those noisy mind control machines. Until their new complex is built, you can head over to the existing Hard Rock Cafe in Atlantic City which is located at The Trump Taj Mahal and features a Gibson guitar shaped bar. If you’ve never been there, grab some lunch before a concert. The Hickory Smoked Pulled Pork Sandwich is recommended.

Today’s tee beats the hell out of the typical Hard Rock Cafe logo tees that you see everywhere. This shirt is colorful, elaborate, and captures both the gambling aspect of A.C as well as the skyline and elements of the shore where the restaurant is located. Ebay seller benk_store has this shirt up for sale.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 46: Scarlet Carson

Posted on April 7, 2010 by sexyarmpit

rock band,scarlet carson,new jersey,t-shirt

Scarlet Carson CD’s, T-Shirts, and tickets available at their official site

It’s been 2 years since NJ rockers Scarlet Carson made their debut and they’ve been gaining huge momentum ever since. This month they have quite a schedule lined up for themselves. On April 17th, they’ll be playing the legendary Stone Pony for The Break Contest for the chance to play at this year’s Bamboozle Festival, and the day after on April 18th, they’ll be opening up for Papa Roach at Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, NJ. As if that weren’t huge enough, they also have the opening slot for Saliva in New York City’s Highline Ballroom on 4/27.

scarlet carson,new jersey,rock band,t-shirt

Instead of letting Los Angeles get all the glory, Scarlet Carson label their style of rock “Dirty Jersey Rock n Roll.” Their latest album Burn It All is available now, so go check out a few tracks at their Myspace page! Reviews of both of Scarlet Carson’s albums are forthcoming here at The Sexy Armpit, so stay tuned! Go to www.scarletcarson.ning.com for more.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 45: Popeye at The Jersey Shore

Posted on March 30, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Popeye Jersey Shore T-Shirt available at 80’s Tees.com

When mashing up MTV’s Jersey Shore with a cartoon property, Popeye is not the first to pop in my head. But, this T-Shirt mash up actually brings an amusing idea to the table. Could this be a novel way to breathe new life into Popeye for a whole new generation of young viewers? A guido version of Popeye could definitely be funny and it’s not improbable to think that Adult Swim, Comedy Central, or even Fox would jump on airing it. For the next few minutes, just imagine that Popeye’s crew got shipwrecked and washed up on somewhere on the Jersey Shore.

First, we’ll need to see if we can compare the stars of MTV’s Jersey Shore to the characters in Popeye. Ronnie could pass for Bluto (or Brutus as I knew him from reruns as a kid), and for Olive Oyl you can take your pick between Snookie, JWoww, and Sammi because they are all annoying enough to fill that role. Unfortunately, there’s no debate that Vinny would have to be the hamburger eatin’ straight man, Wimpy, and finally Popeye would be The Situation, although he’s nowhere near as heroic, and instead of ripped abs, Popeye’s got killer forearms, gee, I wonder if it’s because Olive Oyl doesn’t put out enough? Oh, and as for DJ Pauly D, we’ll let him create the modern fist pounding theme song for the show.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 44: New Jersey RUN DMC Style

Posted on March 23, 2010 by sexyarmpit

NEW JRZ T-Shirt available at Zazzle

If you want to look like a pioneer of hip-hop music then you may want to buy a classic Run DMC t-shirt and slip on a pair of shell top Adidas sneakers. Then pick yourself up a ridiculously over sized gold chain and some sunglasses, prop your ghetto blaster up on your shoulder and you’ll be good to go. Or, if you’re aiming much lower and you want to look like a complete dork from New Jersey, then sub out the Run DMC tee for this NEW JRZ tee, get your hair blown out, and whammo…you be illin’! You’re on your way to the anals of NJ dorkdom. That’s right, I typed anals. All you need now is to have The Sexy Armpit loaded up on Safari on your iPhone and you’ll be official.

Run DMC has made a huge impact on not only hip hop, but rock music as well. There’s a film about Run DMC’s career in production, and one half of the group stars in his own cable TV series. The reality show about Joseph Simmons, aka Reverend Run, has aired on VH1 since 2005. Parts of VH1’s Run’s House is filmed at his actual house in Saddle River, New Jersey. Merely a 20 minute drive from there, Darryl “DMC” McDaniels resides in Wayne, NJ.

*Greg Epstein’s store on Zazzle also features this t-shirt design in New York, Boston, and Chi-Town variants.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 43: St. Patrick’s Day in Hoboken

Posted on March 16, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Limited Edition St. Patty’s Day in Hoboken 2010 T-Shirt available at Solid Threads

Every day in Hoboken is a big drunkfest, so I bet Hoboken will transform into one big geyser of puke on St. Patrick’s Day. It was that exact reason why I did not attend The St. Patrick’s Parade in Hoboken on March 6th. There’s too many people acting like idiots and I have a feeling I would have wound up getting angry and turning green like The Incredible Hulk. Where do you think we are, Cancun? Join me as I suck the life out of St.Patrick’s Day.

The St. Patty’s day parade in Hoboken and St.Patrick’s Day in general is another excuse to drink heavily and wear my least favorite color. I don’t care if I sound like a party pooper, but the holiday never appealed to me. When I was a kid I was fond of the Main Street Electrical Parade in Disneyland, but, for the most part, I’m not really a fan of parades unless they involve The Joker and free money. Maybe if Lucky the Leprechaun personally knocked on my door with a few of his green string bikini clad leperhoe’s bearing gifts such as a lifetime supply of Lucky Charms awaiting me in an 18 wheeler outside then perhaps I would have more of an affinity towards the 17th of March. By the way, did I mention that a 16 oz. Shamrock Shake at McDonald’s contains 550 calories and 50 milligrams of cholesterol? When they concoct a healthier version maybe I’ll get excited for the perennial frozen treat.

It seems that the St. Patty’s parade in Hoboken is held just so the city can collect money. It’s another occasion for buzzkillers, err, I mean cops to hand out tons of tickets. An NJ.com article, 555 ticketed in Hoboken, 25 arrested St.Pat’s Day, was published a week after the parade took place and details the huge monetary loss from hosting the event. According to the story written by Mark G.Maurer, the cost of the parade “exceeded $125,000.”

Sure, public safety is paramount, but recouping at least a percentage of the wads of cash was also high on the city’s priority list. The entire police force was on duty as they awarded 476 summonses, some for open containers, jaywalking, disorderly house parties, and 41 of the instances were for public urination! Why do I even want to go to a parade where the streets are filled with walking disasters who are puking and pissing all over the streets? No wonder New Jersey gets made fun of all the time.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 42: Jersey Girl Corona Logo

Posted on March 9, 2010 by sexyarmpit

The Corona Style Jersey Girl T-Shirt

can be found at finer Shop-Rite locations throughout the Central Jersey Area

You will discover that many females indigenous to New Jersey (aka Jersey Girls) have an unabashed infatuation with alcoholic beverages. Don’t twist my words around, I don’t mean that all Jersey girls are alcoholics, I just mean that many species (i.e cougars) of Jersey Girl are just as attached to a bottle of Corona (don’t you dare forget the lime) or a cold can of Coors Light as they were to their little plush unicorn named Harriet that they held firmly by their side every night as their parents tucked them in.

Poor little Harriet was such a cute little unicorn. She had white fur and a lavender mane. Her horn sparkled pink and yellow. She was there for Jersey Girl throughout her young, vulnerable years. As time went on and Jersey Girl had her first beer, Harriet the Unicorn grew lonely and felt shunned. Jersey Girl’s world, which was once full of wonder and amazement, was now composed of 50 cent drafts and endless happy hours. Calling her a whore would be out of line, even though her mouth’s favorite pastime was chugging $2 dollar long necks. Instead of playing beauty parlor with her little girlfriends, Jersey Girl’s friends grew up to be in charge of holding her hair back when she had to make a routine trip to the vomitorium.

When she was just a little Jersey Girl, she was unaware that when she got older, Harriet the cuddly little Unicorn would have to go into years of therapy because she was ignored by her owner. Just so you know, Unicorns can grow very depressed when they are cursed at with slurred speech. Listen up ladies, remember who brought you to the party. It wasn’t a bottle of malt beverage that you rode on in your daydreams, it wasn’t cerveza that jumped over rainbows for you. Even though Harriet the Unicorn didn’t help Jersey Girl pick up that hot, tanned, juiced up Guido at Headliner last summer, she can still inflict a major puncture wound on him with her magical horn and deflate his pump after she gets wind of how he backhands you in drunken arguments about how you don’t like his stupid dancing and full body stubble.

This parody of the classic Corona logo is odd for a few reasons. First, there is a Jersey Shore reference. Think about how the marketability of anything “Jersey Shore” related has skyrocketed ten fold thanks to the MTV reality show. I also find it odd that this tee was not created in a baby tee style for a girl, as opposed to a regular male t-shirt style. I doubt a guy would walk around wearing this, unless he does all his clothes shopping in Shop-Rite. Would you wear this?

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 41: Four Horsemen Studios

Posted on March 3, 2010 by sexyarmpit

t-shirt,action figures,four horsemen,new jersey

The Four Horsemen Studios T-Shirts

available at Store Horsemen

Are you basking in the detailed glory of your latest action figure issued from your Club Eternia subscription? You better kneel down and give a resounding “We’re not worthy!” to the design team of The Four Horsemen (That’s Chris, Jim, Cornboy, and Eric, NOT Ric, Arn, Ole and Tully). They are responsible for designing amazing figures for the Masters of the Universe Classics and DC Universe Classics line of figures as well as many other toys, busts, statues, and figures that run the gamut of fanboy properties. You name it, they’ve designed figures from it; Batman, The Crow, Ghostbusters, Hellboy, Harry Potter, Fantastic Four, Betty Boop, and Star Wars. Chances are, you have many figures in your collection that were designed by Four Horsemen Studios. Last year, they celebrated their 10th year of redefining the concept of an action figure.

The Four Horsemen revolutionized toy collecting for us “big kids,” and for you guys reading this they gave us ammunition to throw back at stupid people who call action figures dolls. You know there’s some idiot in your life who will not stop calling them that insidious term, occasionally just to piss you off. Do me a favor, the next time they pull such an egregious stunt, grab them forcefully by both ears and make them take a look at one of the Horsemen’s figures and the amount of painstaking effort that went into transforming a hunk of plastic into a striking likeness bearing minute aspects of the character.

The figures and busts created by the Four Horsemen should be considered “toy art” rather than just “toys.” For example, the new Masters of the Universe Classics line has helped evolve the concept of what an action figure is. They went from tiny hunks of assembly line molds to actually embodying each characters specific traits, authentic attire, and accessories. If you took a handful of He-Man figures in the early ’80s and popped their heads off, you’d have a bunch of the same exact plastic molds, save for a few with different skin colors. It’s a totally different game now. Now these figures look so damn good you just want to display them in a glass case rather than put them into battle. But, if the day does arrive that the good people of Eternia decide they must engage in an all out battle with the Evil Warriors, they full articulation will help them to kick even more ass. Those old figures couldn’t even bend their knees or elbows! How can He-Man defeat Skeletor when all he can do is rotate his torso?

Today, you can be proud to show off your action figure collection because these figures are worthy of admiring. I was actually able to show my appreciation to at least one of the members of the Four Horsemen, Eric “Cornboy” Mayse. When I worked in radio, I played tunes for Cornboy and the other Horsemen as they often tuned in during late nights at their design studio. You can check out more of The Four Horsemen’s unrivaled designs at their official site: www.fourhorsemen.biz.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 40: Baldface Industries

Posted on February 17, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Newark, NJ T-Shirt by Baldface Industries – only $15 bucks

Occasionally you must wonder to yourself, “What the f-ck possesses this guy to write about New Jersey related T-Shirts on a weekly basis?” If you’re one of those staunch sweater supporters, then you could never understand. We t-shirt lovers usually have an inordinate amount of them. These tees don’t just fall out of the sky, which is actually what makes them so great. All of them have a story, how you got it, where you got it, what concert you bought it at and then threw up all over it. There’s also the WHY part of the equation. I’m compelled to buy shirts that I don’t see many people wearing, for instance my Corey Feldman Center for the Arts tee which is already 10 years old. Aside from tees with pop culture references, there are so many that feature art and ideas that are independently created. Sometimes you don’t want to look like the generic retro guy with a Transformers shirt or if you’re a girl, Rainbow Brite. It’s too easy to go on a shopping spree at 80stees.com, but if you like to stand out and be more original, there are so many different options. One of them is Baldface Industries, a company that comes to you straight from Bayonne, NJ.

In the age of online advertising we are inundated with ads for t-shirt stores. You may have noticed the relatively cute chicks that sites throw their t-shirts on to grab people’s attention. If you do click on one of their ads, you’ll probably be bombarded with a slew of shirts that have ironic quotes, Star Wars references, movie lines, and fast food propaganda, but if you’re always on the lookout for something fresh, you’ll be quite pleased at Baldface Industries. Their apparel offering isn’t massive, but that’s because they aren’t just t-shirt sellers, they also customize and print shirts for promotional purposes or just for the hell of it.

Damn It Feels Good to Be a Toddler

Baldface T-Shirt

Baldface doesn’t act pretentious and they don’t try to come off as too trendy for their own good. Their website is actually very entertaining to read, and it even includes the owners prom picture (go ahead…aww). The company history explains how they hand print their tees and treat each one like a unique piece of art. Baldface Industries has set themselves apart from the generic pop culture tee machine by aligning themselves with local artists as well as being environmentally friendly. Check them out here: http://www.baldfaceindustries.com/