Sludge Central

Mike Spade’s Haunted House

Posted on October 31, 2007 by sexyarmpit

Last week my girlfriend told me that I had to check out this house that was all done up for Halloween. My first reaction was, “How cool can a house be?” I figured it was done by some run of the mill obsessive decorator, like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation. You know how neighbors are always trying to one up each other. Well, I’ll be damned, because I was dead wrong about this one!

Mike Spade, a local magician, has the most kickass Halloween setup and he told me he’s been doing it for about 19 years. I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t heard about this and I lived in the area my entire life! It’s obvious that Mike genuinely loves putting his Haunted front yard up year after year. The amount of work that goes into his display and the details that you can pick out are spectacular. After checking it out on a cold October night, it was outrageous.

I’ve been to a ton of haunted houses. I’ve visited independent walk throughs, Disneyland, big sponsored haunted ordeals, and I can tell you that nothing can compare to one man’s quest to scare the shit out of people. Mike basically put a dark ride in his front yard sans the boats. What’s most surprising is that he does this all because he loves it and he doesn’t charge people, he only puts out a donation box.

Mike’s Halloween setup has been featured in Weird NJ. For those who aren’t aware, Weird NJ is a magazine that began as a small fanzine type newsletter featuring oddities around the state and now it’s gotten so popular that the publishers Mark and Mark have hosted their own show on History Channel and now also publish books about oddities in other states.

There’s only one day left but you should definitely check out “Mike’s Haunted House.”

Pictured above are some of my favorite moments from the display. You’ll see Samara from The Ring crawled out of a television set and is climbing up a tree. There were some glowing ghosts that moved so gracefully, exactly how I picture a real ghost. Mike also built an old fashioned hearse with a coffin inside that won’t stay closed because of that damned skeleton in there! Coming out of the ground are some ghouls that clearly want to come and join you while your taking your spooky stroll through Mike’s haunted house. For more info about Mike and video of the display click here.

Bon Jovi at The Prudential Center in Newark, N.J 10/25/07

Posted on October 30, 2007 by sexyarmpit

Other media outlets and blogs were on this story like a cheap suit, so I’ll do it up Sexy Armpit style. If you know me in “real life,” then you know I’m a huge Bon Jovi fan. There’s Bon Jovi fans all over the world, but if you grew up a couple of miles away from Jon’s hometown and went to the same high school Richie Sambora did, there’s a special connection. Everyone all over town has a Bon Jovi story for you.

Here’s one: Opening night of the Prudential Center was pretty exciting. It took about 10 minutes to walk from Newark Penn Station to the new venue “The Rock” as they’re calling it. This wasn’t a fun journey because I had to pee so bad and people were walking very leisurely, like when they’re at the mall on a weekday. I briskly walked past everyone not giving a f–k about huge piles of horse shit in the streets. Horse shit? Oh yeah, there were police on horseback in addition to the 35,000 other cops and security strewn about the area. You’d think the President was coming. (I doubt Bush would last 3 seconds in Newark. I also doubt he’d be able to bypass all the piles of horse shit.)

TV crews and radio stations were setup and, once we got there, thousands of people were waiting in lines to actually get in the building! There was a big holdup because everyone had to get patted down, scanned, and then you had to do the hokey pokey. As I held out my ticket to give to the ticket taker, she said “I need your ticket.” I was a bit confused because that’s exactly what I was shoving in her face at that moment. They really trained these folks well! We made our way up the spiral staircase that brought us to the top that overlooked the foyer with the N.J Devils logo on the floor.

“The Rock,” is a brand new facility with the most up to date amenities. The center also features a bar/restaurant that’s open on the area side so you can watch whatever’s going on while your getting trashed and eating a $5.00 slice of pizza. I would say the place was fairly impressive, but I really didn’t think there was anything wrong with the Meadowlands Arena aka the Izod Center. I questioned how cutting edge the facility was when people were leaving after the show and the escalator stopped dead with a bunch of people on it. If we didn’t grab hold of each other we would have went flying into that disastrous place called “let’s cover this up by giving them comped Bon Jovi tickets for the next 10 nights so it doesn’t make the papers.”

Oh yeah, you probably want to know how the show was! Let’s put it this way, Bon Jovi NEVER puts on a bad show. Every time I’ve seen them they’ve been on point and I always leave saying how great the show was. It gets harder to top themselves but this show had a more laid back vibe, like on their latest album “Lost Highway.” The album is less rocking, and more reflective, with a country aspect to sound. That didn’t deter the band from kicking off the Prudential center and their world tour in a grand fashion: “I’m a New Jersey Devil and this is my new house,” Jon declared.

Highlights of the show: The opener “Lost Highway,” “We’ve Got it Goin‘ On” (What’s with all the the commercial jingles lately?), A spectacular rendition of “These Days” sung by Richie Sambora with Violinist Lorenza Ponce. How many times have you seen a violinist rocking out a solo? Then there was the middle aged guy who’s pissed drunk and thinks he’s giving his own concert to the people around him. I can’t forget the crazy people in front of us who thought they were filming a B-52’s video. (see above) They were dancing like they were at a Prince concert. The best moment as always was the finale of their anthem, “Wanted Dead or Alive.”

Rob Zombie’s Hellbilly Halloween

Posted on October 28, 2007 by sexyarmpit

Ahh, the wonders of eBay. White Zombie and Rob Zombie basically have the monopoly as far as artists go on my iPod’s Halloween playlist. Not that their music is “Halloween music” but it definitely fits. **”American Witch” off of his latest release Educated Horses get’s alot of play.

Back in 1998, Rob Zombie released his solo album Hellbilly Deluxe. I was always a big White Zombie fan and it blew my mind to hear how amazing Rob Zombie’s solo album was. Alot of the marketing and merch surrounding the release of the album had some kickass artwork. This shirt was always one I was meaning to order but kept putting it off because it was usually around $30.00, which always seems high for a T-Shirt.

I forgot about getting the shirt for a long time, but a month or so ago I decided to see if any online T-Shirt shops had it, but with no luck. I went over to eBay and sure enough someone was selling a brand new one! I snatched it up and I’m glad I did even if my sole purpose was to drool over the artwork.

I really love the way Zombie is made into a ghoulish monster but still retains his actual appearance to an extent. I want to be a ghoul too, I wish I could draw! In this artwork we also see a Wolf-Man, a Mummy woman, a ghost, and a hunchback. The artist seemed to have given the picture a Halloween vibe since there’s pumpkins, a bat, a black cat, and lots of cobwebs in the background.

Spooky Viewing Pleasure on You Tube

Posted on October 24, 2007 by sexyarmpit

While searching for some scary stuff on You Tube, I came across a few videos that are worth watching.

I’m going to wager that many of you already know about this but if not, I highly recommend checking out the re-cut Mary Poppins trailer entitled “Scary Mary.” Whoever thinks to re-edit these trailers are pretty damn creative. This one is especially original. I would’ve never though to make such a sweet innocent movie like Mary Poppins into a horror movie.

Even if you despise the band Papa Roach you should still check out this montage of Psycho clips put to their song “Getting Away with Murder.” It’s surprising to see how perfectly the song and lyrics meshed with the plot of the film.

Another re-cut film trailer which is already a classic is of the Shining. I’ve been watching this one frequently for a long time because it really makes me laugh. I commend the person who created this one because it’s completley over the top. Watch one of the creepiest movies ever miraculously turn into a touching drama, it’s SNL caliber!

Trick or Treating with Mr. Mom

Posted on October 24, 2007 by sexyarmpit

The other blogs that have featured Halloween “blogathons” don’t seem to be letting up steam. While they’re continuing to annihilate us with great posts, I’ll feature some mediocre posts for the days leading up to Halloween. I plan on featuring more random Halloween related stuff but I’ve pretty much blown all my good material already. Some of the topics I was geared up to write about have already been beaten to death or I realized it wasn’t that interesting in the first place.

I don’t know about you, but I desperately want to be way more into the Halloween mood but it’s not working! Working for a living really puts a damper on being a kid again. Hopefully this weekend I’ll be able to watch a bunch of horror movies and get into the spirit.

Above, I posted a moment from one of my favorite movies of all time, Mr. Mom (1983). In this scene, Jack (Michael Keaton) takes his kids out to trick or treat while his wife goes away on business. Jack’s son Alex (Chip on Kate & Allie) is dressed as a cowboy and his brother Kenny looks like a medieval knight. Jack’s wife’s friend Joan (Ann Jillian) is looking foxy as hell and Annette (Miriam Flynn) has a kickass vintage E.T mask on. Even though Mr. Mom isn’t a Halloween movie, I always associated this scene with the holiday because it reminded me of how awesome Halloween was when I was a kid.

CW’s Reaper lifts our mascot for “What About Blob” episode

Posted on October 22, 2007 by sexyarmpit

I’ve been enjoying Reaper on the CW network. It’s refreshing to watch a new show that’s actually good and doesn’t look like it’s going to be cancelled right away. The show isn’t scary per se but it has some decent FX and it occasionally a Ghostbusters vibe to it. Although I was surprised when I saw this week’s “villian” will be a slime monster. Check out a preview of “What About Blob” here. Of course they didn’t really steal this character from us, but I couldn’t help but notice the similarity. Back in ’05, I had my friend Steve draw a logo for the site and explained to him that I wanted a “sludge monster.” We naturally named him Sludgie, and sold his likeness and our souls to the Carvel Ice Cream chain. They are now producing chocolate chip mint ice cream cakes based on him. Yeah right, how awesome would that be? Reaper is definitely a funny show and they credit Kevin Smith as a “consultant.” He directed the first episode but now it’s the CW’s feeble attempt to make people think he’s still invovled in the show and he’ll probably get some kickbacks. Watch the show while it’s still around since I’m going to sue their ass off 🙂

What Scares You?

Posted on October 18, 2007 by sexyarmpit

This is an oldie, well…it’s an oldie where I come from. No, seriously this is an old article I wrote from way back in October of ’04 that was never posted on my blogger site until NOW! It never really got much exposure so I bet you’re excited! I know it’ll be hard to keep from getting scared, but try to keep your composure while you read this entry! I’d love to hear about what scared you as a kid. Many of the bold words are linked, some are not.

http://thesexyarmpit.blogspot.com/2004/10/15-things-that-scared-shit-out-of-me-as.html

Haunted Hayride of Terror

Posted on October 13, 2007 by sexyarmpit

With Halloween approaching I realized that I’ve never been on a haunted hayride before and that needed to change. On Friday night we headed down to Marlboro N.J to check out the “Haunted Hayride of Terror” and the Haunted barn. It was a cool autumn night and there were a lot of people showing up to get scared which reminded me of how Halloween should be!

If you think to yourself “How is a barn going to be scary?” There were no slaughtered hens or pigs scattered all over the place, but they did the place up nice. It was no Castle Dracula or the Haunted Houses you remember from your youth, but it had a spooky atmosphere. We wandered through the dark “barn” and finally came to a spinning tunnel through which we walked across a swaying catwalk. The spinning tunnel was a great effect and I enjoyed the feeling although if I stayed in there I felt the small glass of Jim Beam I had earlier in the night might’ve came up. We saw the usual setups, like the exorcist, and the crypt keeper. We also passed by skeleton pirates and at the end there was a real masked midget that jumped out at us who was doing a grand job of keeping still so we didn’t know he was real. There was no feeling of impending danger but the different animatronic setups were a throwback. It’s a little much when your walking through a local haunted attraction and all you encounter around corners are teenage kids donning various horror movie masks. To me that’s never scary. We did witness those exact kids when we went on the hayride.

After the barn a mess of people hopped on a big tractor that sat everyone on bails of hay which were actually comfortable. There were torches to light the way of the tractor driver as he slowly drove us through the woods. Scattered about the woods were various scary setups, some with live actors and some with fake bodies or skeletons. The live costumed actors would actually jump up onto the tractor and come try and scare each of us. One of the guys had a chainsaw, while another dressed like Michael Myers. At the end of the ride we stopped to take some “wacky” pictures of ourselves in the cardboard stand ups of Frankenstein and the Phantom of the Opera etc.

Halloween 1981

Posted on October 11, 2007 by sexyarmpit

Last weekend I was looking through a box of old photos from Halloween’s past. These pictures become time machines for me. I came across quite a few that were taken at school during Halloween parades or just in the classroom. The one I’m posting today actually has nothing to do with me at all. This is Halloween 1981 and my sister dressed up as one of her favorite characters Holly Hobbie. The Wikipedia entry mentions that Hobbie was popular throughout the ‘70s, although I know for a fact she still held her own through the early ‘80s as well. Even though I was a little kid during that time I remember my sis loving Holly Hobbie.

In this photo my sister was one of the Holly Hobbies way in the back row. The Holly Hobbie closer to the front was actually “Evil Holly Hobby.” You can tell because she’s the one looking pissed off with her arms folded grumbling some crap about another girl dressing up as the same character. With more scrutiny we can see a lot of superhero representation here. There’s a possible Wonder Woman to the right of my sister in the back whose head is behind the kid with the red cloak. There’s a roaring Incredible Hulk in the front and then another poor Hulk stuck in the back biting his nails. He seems worried that he’s not as good as the proud ferocious Hulk who demands the spotlight. We can also pick out a few Spider Man costumes, a Superman, a kickass vintage Yoda costume, and finally an awesome Darth Vader with his mask up…dammit!

Leaving out the kids that make me giggle would be a crime. How about the little Asian boy with a cowboy hat on? (WWE fans: Is that Jimmy Wang Yang? was he foreseeing the future?) Is it even a cowboy hat? I totally don’t want to sound wrong but who are the kids in the front with the sheet over their head with their hats on supposed to be? The one in the front row’s face is being obstructed by the Incredible Ham Hulk who is raping the camera. You also can’t miss the innocent, friendly looking Snoopy. He doesn’t seem like that sarcastic, mischievous Snoopy we know from the cartoon. The ever-living Strawberry Shortcake makes an appearance as well as a nurse (yay).

Perhaps the winner for most enigmatic costume is the young New York Giant on the bottom left who is donning a #33. I have no idea who #33 was on the Giants back in the late ‘70s or early ‘80s. I’m going to assume that it was a generic N.Y Giants children’s costume with a random number on it unless one of the awesome Sexy Armpit readers can provide me with some answers! Lol. Oh, I saved the very best for last. On the right side, attached to the railing… is that a clown with an enormous fro, or is this supposed to be a character of some type?

I hope you enjoyed looking at some of these old-school costumes. Do you have any memories of these? If so, drop a comment! Especially if you know who the blonde guy is with the stars on his shirt. Evil Knievel? One of the Duke boys? I have a lot more Halloween related material coming your way here at TheSexyArmpit.com so stay tuned and as always, I appreciate you stopping by!

Skull Shot Glasses

Posted on October 9, 2007 by sexyarmpit

I haven’t bought many Halloween decorations or knickknacks for my place but I couldn’t pass up these Skull Shot glasses. I can’t truly call them glasses because they’re made of plastic but they’re damn cool. When I finally moved out and bought my own place, the first thing I bought was a bar. I’m not even a big drinker but I love the whole aspect of it. Surprisingly, I have all the accessories but I never picked up shot glasses because I figured someone would’ve bought me wacky Batman or Pac-Man shot glasses. I never wound up getting any, but to be honest…how many shots am I going to be taking? Living on my own I don’t do much hardcore drinking, but shot glasses are a necessary item to have for a bar. It’s been a long time since I moved in and I figured it’s about time to finally get myself a set. In a total act of fate, I was walking around the local grocery store’s Halloween aisle and found these awesome Skull Shot glasses. I saw the typical pumpkin paper plates, fake spiders, and then some cool skull goblets. The goblets were cool but they were just larger versions of these shot glasses. Regardless, who would want a goblet made of plastic? If I’m going to get a goblet it better be borrowed from Lil’ John or from The Noble Collection or something. So, I opted for these fantastic $1.99 set of shot glasses.

Bet your ass these sexy additions to my bar will be used all year ‘round. Friends will start to come over just because they heard that I had Skull Shot glasses.

JAY: “Would you ladies like a drink?”
GUESTS: “F-yeah! We’ll take 2 shots of Tequila…but only if it’s out of your $1.99 set of skull shot glasses!”

To fill up my empty set of shot glasses, keeping with the orange theme, I picked up Saranac’s Orange Cream Soda. This version of Orange Cream soda was a let down. It’s orange flavor is so overpowering it might as well be an Orange Crush. They really skimped on the cream flavor and there’s a bit of rusty water type aftertaste to it. Sad to say, even the skull shot glass didn’t improve this overly sweet soda.