Top 10 Other Meanings of G.T.L: NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 70

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The Situation isn’t the only one who can coin original acronyms. Anyone can do it! Acronyms make it easier to remember names, companies, lists, and other stuff, but when the acronym has more than one meaning, that’s when remembering them all becomes a task. Since we are already familiar with Gym, Tanning, and Laundry, I have gathered together many of the alternate words that the letters G.T.L also stand for. Even TNA Wrestler Robbie E. formulated his own credo of G.T.W (Gym, Tanning and Wrestling.) Feel free to create your own! Here’s some from The Sexy Armpit:

Goobers. Trannies. Lint
Ghouls. Trix. Lauper
Gremlins. Tomes and TalismansLabyrinth 
Guidos. Wasabi. Licky Boom Boom Down
Gwildor. Torture. Labias
GaGa. Teeth. Lingerie
Grendel. Titties. Lube
Ghoulash. Tacos. Lime-aid
Go-Bots. Transformers. Lion-O
Tokka. Grover. Lurch

Colleen Fitzpatrick is November’s Garden State Playmate!

Colleen Fitzpatrick 1
With flu season in full effect I thought you might need some Vitamin C. Let us not forget about Old Bridge New Jersey’s Colleen Fitzpatrick, a singer, songwriter, and actress who is better known as our favorite ascorbic acid. Now, enjoy a megadose of Vitamin C, November’s Garden State Playmate.
Colleen Fitzpatrick graduated from Old Bridge High School in New Jersey and then New York University. Throughout high school she danced professionally and acted in high school plays. If you aren’t familiar with her, Vitamin C enjoyed her biggest surge of success in the the early 2000’s. After her original alt-rock band Eve’s Plum broke up, Fitzpatrick went solo in 1998 and signed with Elektra Records where she transformed from alt-rock chick into dance pop cutie.

Colleen Fitzpatrick 2

After scoring with her debut CD Vitamin C, Fitzpatrick became a household name, even if it was for a short time. The album featured the hits “Smile,” and “Graduation (Friends Forever)” which didn’t do much to cure the common cold, but blew up on the tween and high school scenes. She solidified her place in pop culture when there was a Vitamin C Mattel doll released as well as a lipstick shade by Tommy Hilfiger. Although she was a pop icon of the moment for the younger crowd, she was also recognized as a sex symbol for horny twentysomething dudes when she was included on Maxim Magazine’s Hot 100 of 2001. As an actress Fitzpatrick has appeared in such films as Liar Liar, Dracula 2000, Rock Star, and Get Over It among others.
Even though she’s not in the public eye anymore she continues to create new music. A new Vitamin C album was scheduled for 2007 in addition to an original children’s album by Fitzpatrick, but they have yet to be released. Most recently she has been writing and co-writing songs for tween stars like Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato.

Here’s Vitamin C’s video for her single “The Itch,” starring another Jersey Girl, Kirsten Dunst!

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.49: RANSOM – When Mel Still Had His Marbles…

Ransom
Please welcome the newest member of The Sexy Armpit, Nick “N.J” Holden! In his first contribution, a look back at the 1996 film Ransom prompts Nick to give Mel a second chance. Check out Nick’s profile which is linked on the right sidebar!

It’s easy to dismiss a person by what is printed and said, even if that person was, at one point or another, decent. For an example, Chris Benoit was regarded as one of the finest technical wrestlers to have ever graced a mat, but after the tragedy with him and his ill-fated family, all of his achievements have been forgotten, almost as if they have never existed. To look at Mel Gibson now, after all the tabloids and rumors, one would see him as an out of his mind, racist, misogynistic narcissist with way too much money and too much ego. But at some point, Mel, before he blew a fuse, visited the Garden State (briefly) in the caper film Ransom, and while it didn’t reinvent the wheel or increase NJ’s tourist trade (at least not to my knowledge), it’s nice to look back on the Garden State before it was forever changed by some guy named Tony Soprano.

Tom Mullen (Gibson) is a self-made millionaire airline owner who finds himself out of his depth when his son Sean (Brawny Nolte, Nick’s son) is kidnapped and held for ransom. Now, the rational thing to do would be to pay the captors (which include a pre-Sex and the City Evan Handler) the money and be done with it. It should also be noted that, through a subplot, Tom was investigated by the FBI for possibly paying off a mob guy to keep his airline going. But after a disastrous turn of events in Jersey (where the ransom was supposed to be paid – holla Fair Lawn!), Tom turns the tables on the captors and uses the ransom as a bounty that he places on the captors, hoping that they will crumble under the pressure and turn on one another. In doing so, Tom not only draws scorn from his wife (Rene Russo) and the FBI agent (Delroy Lindo) on the case, but also become a pariah in the media for such a risky tactic. From then on, the suspense builds as both Tom and the captors begin to lose patience with one another, building in a climax that puts both Tom and captors on a collision course. Not necessarily with each other, but a course that is sure to spell doom for some.

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The movie, directed by Ron Howard, does a great job with the cast. Especially good is Mel, who is kept at a feverish pace. In his eyes, you can see the hopelessness and desperation, but also a man who is not afraid to cross the line to save his son. Also doing fine is Gary Sinse as the ruthless mastermind of the kidnapping who slowly becomes unglued and Lindo as the veteran agent who is confounded by the change of events. Unfortunately, what is seen of Jersey is very little, happening at nighttime at a stone quarry, but is pivotal in the storyline, so I guess we can forgive Howard for setting up an important scene in my home state. It was nice to see Route 4 without traffic for a change.

Ransom is a taut, well-acted cracker of a film that reminds you that Mel was once a good actor. It got him a Golden Globe nomination, so if you want to see Mel Gibson as a hero without a suicide fixation or dressed in a leather suit, give this one a whirl, otherwise you can just smile and blow him.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 69: Monstrous Wildwood Energy

Monster Energy style Wildwood T-Shirt

When I take a sip of that bubbly Monster Energy Drink it makes me feel like I’m splashing in the ocean at New Jersey’s premiere, moderately priced resort town, Wildwood. And on the flip side, just the sheer idea of being in Wildwood transforms me into a ferocious energized beast. You know what activates me even more than sipping an energy drink on a sunny summer day at the Jersey Shore? Blatant displays of trademark infringement! Whaddya know? If you turn the clawed out letter “M” on the Monster can upside down, you have a “W,” which stands for Wildwood!

When I’m on the boardwalk and I slip this t-shirt on, it propels me to a ridiculuously high level of primal savagery. Inhaling 7 full paper plates of funnel cake in mere milliseconds is only the tip of the iceberg. Instead of standing aside and just “watching the tram car,” I started huffing and puffing and sprinted right towards it head on. I wasn’t playing a game of chicken with the tramcar either. I actually tackled a moving tramcar at full speed and then swung it around over my head at least 2 or 3 times just because I had so much energy to expel.

I’m telling you, these Monster style Wildwood t-shirts need to come with some kind of surgeon general warning: “PLEASE DO NOT WEAR THIS T-SHIRT IF YOU ARE ALREADY AWESOME AT WRECKING SHIT UP BECAUSE ONCE YOU PUT IT ON YOU WILL BE DOUBLY GOOD AT WRECKING SHIT UP AND THAT’S NOT COOL BECAUSE YOU ARE CLEARLY ALREADY RECKLESS AND YOU WILL BE A DANGER TO THE OTHER FINE CITIZENS ON THE BOARDWALK OR WHEREVER YOU MAY BE, ALSO, THIS T-SHIRT WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM ANY SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES, OH, AND DO NOT WEAR IF YOU ARE PREGNANT.”

eXXXotica NJ 2010 Coming This Weekend!

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The Exxxotica convention 2010 comes to The New Jersey Expo Center in Edison, New Jersey November 5th through the 7th! On top of getting to meet your favorite adult film stars, you’ll be able to take part in sexy seminars, watch fashion shows, take part in games and contests, and there’s even an auto and bike show this year! This is the biggest event the adult film industry has to offer in the NY/NJ area, and The Sexy Armpit personally extends our thanks for holding the event right here in New Jersey! For more information, tickets, and directions go to www.exxxoticaexpo.com. LADIES are FREE on Friday!

Here are only some of the stars appearing: Andy San Dimas, Amy Fisher, Gina Lynn, Jersey’s own Joanna Angel and a host of Burning Angel girls, Ron Jeremy, Sunny Leone, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, Faye Reagan, Jesse Jane, Jenna Haze, Alexis Texas, Tori Black, and Teagen Presley.

Last year eXXXotica was a blast and if you weren’t there, check out the video I made:

The Lone Ranger, Tonto, and Katy Perry Walk Into a Bar on Halloween 2010…

Lone Ranger and Katy Perry
The Lone Ranger (The Sexy Armpit) and Katy Perry (Miss Sexy Armpit)

I always need inspiration to dress up for Halloween. Playing a character makes me feel like a kid for a whole night, but I require some sort of revelation every year to generate my interest. It takes motivation to create a good costume so I need some sort of spark. If I don’t experience that I won’t be very enthusiastic and I refuse to settle for any old costume off a rack. Mind you, I don’t go crazy insane with my costumes like multiple time costume contest winner Rollie over at Beauty and the Robeast, but I always have fun with it. In the past 10 years or so I’ve gone with a rock star motif and dressed up as Billy Idol, Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue, Gene Simmons (Dressed to Kill style), and Billie Joe from Green Day. Last year I began with a pop culture theme when I was Macho Man Randy Savage circa 1985 during his Intercontinental Championship reign and my girlfriend was Miss Elizabeth. This year, I channeled another childhood hero of mine, one who doesn’t carry Slim Jims, but silver bullets.

Lone Ranger and Tonto Costumes
Tonto (Nick, Armpit’s cousin) and The Lone Ranger

This year I was inspired by Dynamite Comics’ Lone Ranger series. Ever since my Dad introduced me to the Lone Ranger radio show as a kid, I’ve always loved the character. I grew up collecting the paltry amount of LR collectibles that existed and watching DVD’s of the TV series. I had a feeling that the edgier style of The Lone Ranger’s costume in the latest comic book series, would translate well to a Halloween costume. It felt cool to be a classic character with a modern upgrade. Plus, I didn’t think there would be tons of dudes clamoring for a Lone Ranger costume, not as much as say…The Situation’s fake ab pad.
I began the project early in September and noticed that it would be more of a challenge than I thought. All the pre-made Lone Ranger costumes available online were super cheesy. The shiny blue shirt included was made of rayon and is a few letters short of saying “Hi My Name is The Lone Ranger,” on a name tag on the left side. It came with a terribly cheap and disheveled looking cowboy hat, but that wasn’t all! On the back of the shirt there was a full back graphic of The Lone Ranger riding Silver branded with The Lone Ranger logo. I honestly don’t think The Lone Ranger is so self absorbed that he would wear a shirt with a huge graphic of himself on the back of it, let alone one made of cheap polyester. Obviously, I stayed far away from this $40 dollar piece of crap and put it together on my own.

The Sexy Armpit's Lone Ranger Costume

Finding a reasonable cowboy hat required some digging. Some cowboy hats that claim to be replicas of the one that Clayton Moore used in The Lone Ranger TV series go for upwards of $400 bucks! Screw that! I got mine for less than $40 bucks from an online costume shop and it looked damn good. It was a little tall on top, but it did the job. Don’t be fooled by cheap $5 dollar “cowboy” hats like this one, they suck, so don’t waste your money.
One modernization that you’ll see in the pages of the Dynamite Comics is that The Lone Ranger no longer wears blue pants to match his shirt, but leather pants depending on who does the art/ink in the book. The black leather pants I used when I dressed up as Nikki Sixx years ago came in handy for this. I then found a bandit mask, and a gun holster with a belt on a costume website, two silver toy guns with off white handles, a red bandanna, and bullet belts all on Amazon. The boots are actually motorcycle boots, but look very similar to the ones LR wears in a few of the comic books. I purchased them from Leather Up.
Most importantly was my shirt. I was very particular about this because I refused to walk around in a shirt that did not look similar to how it looked in the comic I was basing it off of. After several days of searching, I finally found Delilah’s Keepe, a website who customized a Lone Ranger style shirt for me! They were great to deal with and the shirt looked absolutely perfect, so keep them in mind if you ever need a shirt for a costume: www.delilahskeepe.com.

Katy Perry Halloween Costume
Winning The Sexy Armpit’s Halloween Costume Contest this year by a mile was Miss Sexy Armpit who probably put more time and effort into her costume than I did since she had to make the entire thing herself! She made the candy button dress and bracelets, cut and styled the wig, and found comparable shoes. I also took a screen shot of Katy Perry’s makeup from the exact moment in the “California Gurls” video that she wears this getup. From there she took the picture with her to get her makeup done. The “Jersey Gurl” was carrying around an Elmo doll all night which everyone got a big kick out of as well.
All the costumes were worth the effort when seeing how awesome they looked and I’m already devising plans for next year! I can’t wait!

ReVision’s Rocky Horror Show Reviewed

Rocky Horror Asbury Park

On October 28th, 2010 I attended an electrifying performance of The Rocky Horror Show presented by The ReVision Theatre in The Carousel House on the boardwalk in Asbury Park. I had no idea there was anything going on in the Carousel House, and it’s great to see that The ReVision Theatre may find a permanent home there, if they can raise the funding. If you haven’t been able to catch the show yet, you still have time since they’ve extended the run through November 13th! If you’ve seen the 1975 film, but never a stage production of Rocky, it’s a whole different experience!

If sexual innuendos, and bisexuality make you feel uncomfortable, then you can stop reading this now. I always seem to run into plenty of people who have never seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show in any form, and much of the time it’s because they think it “looks weird,” or they don’t dig transvestites. I say lighten the f*ck up! It’s one of the most fun shows you will ever witness. Although, I can see why some folks may be apprehensive to step into it’s erotic world of sci-fi, horror, and comedy. It’s the one aspect of Rocky Horror that I don’t like…the audience interaction.

While the majority of hardcore fans of Rocky Horror have memorized the lines, crowd retorts, and what to throw at the stage and at what time, it gets old really quick. Having to shout “SLUT,” every time someone utters the name “Janet” is annoying. Tying to pay attention to the dialogue becomes extremely challenging. The crowd lines become a whole seperate script you need to remember so they provide you with help via word bubbles Pop Up Video style on the set’s big screen above the stage. Those types of jokes are funny the first few times but it tends to make people shy away, especially when newbies hear terribly embarrassing stories about being a “virgin.” Believe me, that part is not as bad as you may have heard.

Since it’s tough to beat the production values of the Broadway version of Rocky Horror that ran in the early 2000’s, it wouldn’t be fair to compare the two. Scoring the likes of Sebastian Bach and Joan Jett is out of the realm of possibility, but the Asbury Park show still manages to go over the top, even without big name stars. In fact, having Chris Hall in the role of Frank N. Furter made this show more genuine. He was definitely inspired by Tim Curry’s Frank, and more flashy and brave than actors who have previously portrayed the character in the New York productions that I’ve seen.

With a freakish frizz of fake hair on top of his head and a wild makeup job on his face, Hall strutted around stage like he owned it. There was even a moment when he accidentally kicked a stage light and it broke. He nonchalantly referred to it while in character and the audience loved it. Hall was so comfortable in the part that I hope when some asinine filmmaker decides to remake RHPS, that they consider Hall for the role. His Frank N. Furter was glittery and his soaring vocals grabbed the audience by their sack…of props.

I did have a few minor issues, but that’s only because I’m forever tied to the film version. Hernando Umana’s Riff Raff had green hair, and looked less like Richard O’Brien in the film and more like The Joker. Umana’s voice was incredible and he added in some very entertaining mannerisms, so I’d say he’s in the right business. The narrator, played by Brett Colby, had great comedic timing, I wonder if he does stand up? Tap dancing and tripping on drugs and into our hearts was Jesse Wildman as Columbia. She was a lot of fun to watch and provided a fresh take on the character. And as Janet, actress Jennifer Bowles was hysterical as she humped various parts of the stage and writhed around in her underwear during “Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me.”

The last couple of gripes I had may have been fixed by now since I witnessed the first show of the run. First, some of the special effects cues were out of sync. For instance, when Janet changed channels on the TV screen, the last channel came up too late, well after she stopped changing channels. Little details like that happened with the big TV screen several times. There were also instances when some of the audience interaction prompts were not the same as what the crowd was yelling. And finally, certain sections of seats were different than others, and even though ours had little pillows on them, they were uncomfortable to the point where I would have preferred sitting on the floor.

Overall it was a great time for a very reasonable price, and an easy drive on The Garden State Parkway! Support local independent theater and check out The ReVision Theatre website for more info!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween 2010

I took this picture last night at the Chiller Theatre convention in Parsippany, NJ. There was a host of celebrities there for autograph signings and I was able to meet with stars from Dallas, which might sound odd to you, but was awesome for me! I also spent way too much money but got a lot of cool stuff though.

I hope you all enjoy your Halloween weekend. I’ll be posting pictures of my costume tomorrow which has been kept a secret to everyone I know thus far. I’ll be headed to Asbury Lanes for the Disco of the Damned party. It should be a fun time! From there it will be back to regularly scheduled programming here at The Sexy Armpit. If you have stopped by throughout the month for the Countdown to Halloween, I greatly appreciate it. The Sexy Armpit has had record hits this month and it’s because of your continued readership. Thank you so much!

Greatest Mask EVER…

Diabolical Disc Demon Mask

I was literally stunned to see this mask at a booth at the New York Comic Con this year. For those of you who are not familiar with who this mask is supposed to be, you need to take a trip back to your childhood! The slab of rubbery glory is a triumph for Scooby-Doo fans, well, for me at least. The mask is based off of The Diabolical Disc Demon, a villainous knockoff of Gene Simmons from one of my all time favorite episodes of Scooby Doo: Where Are You? that first aired in 1978. I’m pretty sure The Disc Demon could’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling stoners and their dog! Other classic Scooby villains are also available in case you for some reason haven’t figured out what to dress up as for Halloween.

Click below to read all about The Disc Demon episode and the appearance of KISS on Scooby-Doo in a classic Sexy Armpit post: