NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 54: More Rutgers Tees From Marc Ecko
Rutgers T-Shirts from Marc Ecko
After a recent browse at Ecko’s online shop, they are all sold out of these cool limited edition Rutgers T-Shirts. No other college or university in New Jersey can boast that they have badass shirts like these inspired by them besides RU.
If you aren’t familiar with “The Grease Trucks,” then you obviously have not been out drinking in New Brunswick. Usually you would wind up at these food trucks which are now a landmark. Serving nothing but crazy sandwiches like the variations of the Fat Sandwich made with chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, cheese, fries and anything else that you can think of that is artery clogging and fried up fast. The Grease Trucks have been mentioned in magazines like Maxim, as well as the cable reality series Man v. Food. Read more about The Grease Trucks here at the Wikipedia page.
The skull design on the middle shirt is striking. The RU school colors red, black, and white, are perfectly incorporated. Any Rutgers student, alumni, or fan of their sports teams would be proud to wear this.
The last tee is the oddball. Jersey Foul Mouth Medicine most likely refers to all the swearing we do in the state. It’s too small to read in the above picture, but at the bottom of the tee it says: “Cures what ails ya…stupid.” I don’t really get what they are going for, but I’m thinking it’s either A) We’ll curse and yell at you like obnoxious jerkoffs until you get the point or B) We’ll curse and yell obnoxiously until we feel better ourselves. Some folks in Cali might go smoke a J and hop on their surfboards, we just go running our mouths. The last tee is my least favorite of the bunch while the middle one is definitely wearable even if you have no affiliation with the school.
Ad Jerseum 8: Dear Philly
Ad Jerseum: So much Jersey advertising it’ll make you vomit!
Dear Philadelphia,
While on a recent NJ Transit train coming back from Penn Station in New York, I noticed this snarky little tourism ad in a poster case at one of the platforms. At first I grew a little defensive (“eh-oh…oh-eh” oh wait, that was Brooklyn) but then I realized to myself, “Hey self, this ad is pretty damn effective!” But don’t think for a second that it makes me want to run out to my car and drive to Philadelphia. The rest of this letter is left in your hands. I’ll lay it out nice and simple – you’ve got two options. There’s the truth, or there is nothing but outright lies.
LIES:
I DON’T hate Philly. How can anyone possibly hate Philly? It’s the greatest city in the world! I can’t think of a better place to travel than the city where Rocky Balboa hails from. Do you know how many goofy pictures wives take of their husbands running up those stairs?!?! Forget that, what about the good eats? Philly offers one of the most healthy sandwich options, the cheesesteak, which easily puts that doucher Jared and his beloved Subway to shame. Think of all the weight you can lose if you only eat cheesesteaks everyday! And finally, Philly is home to the most famous crack in the world, perhaps even more well known than the butt crack, the crack on the Liberty Bell! Where else would one go to get their fill of brotherly love? Or SOUL? The Philadelphia Soul that is! Everyone knows arena football rocks compared to that second rate sport, REAL football. Walt Whitman bridge, here I come!
TRUTH:
I’m definitely not one of those Jerseyans who hates Philadelphia, but I do have my reservations about it. When I was a kid, aside from it’s historical aspect, all I knew of Philly is that the Fresh Prince of Bel Air grew up in West Philadelphia where he chilled, maxed and relaxed (all cool), and shot some b-ball outside of the school. Oh, and there was that song by New Jersey’s icon Bruce Springsteen “Streets of Philadelphia,”from the film Philadelphia. Bruce singing about Philly didn’t bother me as much as the fact that so many people from South Jersey root for Philly teams. When I notice Jersey people getting hardcore for the Eagles, Phillies, and the Flyers, it makes my skin crawl. There’s so many bars in South and the Western side Jersey that are fully adorned with Eagles paraphenalia, and Philly teams are simply considered “the home team.” Add that to the terrible Pennsylvania accent that many South Jersey people have adopted and you can stop wondering why I do not visit Philly.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is one of my favorite shows, but who cares, FLIP YOU PHILADELPHIA! And water ice? What the hell is that all about? It’s Italian ice! F-ck off water ice! Nobody cares about you, you don’t even exist to me. You were made up so Philly can brag about having something tasty to eat besides grizzly, artery clogging cheesesteaks. And Jon Bon Jovi’s Soul charity only helps less fortunate families in Philly because he wouldn’t last a second walking around with a film crew kissing his ass in Paterson or Camden NJ.
While creative and offbeat, this ad is merely a feeble attempt at conning Jerseyans into visiting Philly! OK, maybe some of the folks in this state aren’t the brightest in the bunch, but you think using familiar terms like “yous” is going to entice the guidos to hit up all the clubs in Philly? What would they do there? Philly is no place for fist pumpers. Why would you even want them there anyway?
Sincerely,
The Sexy Armpit
New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.41: Muppets Take Passaic?
Kermit’s doctor played by Linda Lavin (TV’s Alice) diagnoses him with Amnesia
from Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)
KERMIT’S DOCTOR: “No doubt about it, you have amnesia. Now, the problem is, you were found with no identification and oddly enough, wearing no clothing, so I did some research into the major nudist colonies in the area and I think I’ve come up with something…”
KERMIT: “…oh?”
KERMIT’S DOCTOR: “You are Mr. Enrico Tortellini of Passaic, New Jersey”
KERMIT: “well…I really don’t feel Italian.”
KERMIT’S DOCTOR: “…it was just a long shot anyway”
NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 53: Aqua Teen Jersey Shore Shirt
Aqua Teen’s “Greetings from The Jersey Shore” T-Shirt
It won’t be long before people everywhere want to literally vomit at the mere mention of the names Snooki, JWoww, and The Situation. With the 2nd season of MTV’s Jersey Shore creeping up on us, it won’t be long before your cable channels are infested by guidos again. Don’t worry though, when their 15 minutes is up, you can always fall back on the original crew to hang out down at The Jersey Shore, The Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The cult Adult Swim series is still going strong, in fact, just last week Aqua Teen Hunger Force Volume 7 was released on DVD. Personally, I’d rather listen to a talking ball of meat than JWoww.
Strip Monopoly is Fun and Entertaining
Monopoly is said to be the most played board game in the world. I’m sure there are still at least a few folks out there who have no idea that many of the streets and a couple of the railroad lines on the classic Monopoly board were named after ones that actually existed in Atlantic City during the time the game was conceived in the 1930’s. Many of the streets are still there, so the next time you go to A.C and you blow all your cash, you can then take your own Monopoly driving tour for FREE! Just a word to the wise – don’t pull a Clark Griswold and ask a random stranger to give you directions back onto the Expressway. That’s a bad move.
In honor of the new Monopoly header that I made, here’s a clip of a game of Strip Monopoly – the version not endorsed by Hasbro. Monopoly does tend to get a little boring after you’ve been playing for 3 1/2 hours and no one has gone bankrupt yet, so why not spice it up a bit? Maybe getting stuck in this jail won’t be so bad! Remember to wear a thimble though!
A Sexy Game of Strip Monopoly by Liv Films – More amazing videos are a click away
Bob Bodanski Sells New Jersey: Funny or Die
New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.40: Suburban Girl
Why was I even watching this film, you ask? I can’t think of a more appropriate query – pun intended. There were two motivators that compelled me to watch this. Naturally, the most prominent reason is Sarah Michelle Gellar, the one actress who I have maintained should star in every film ever. Secondly, the humorous cameo by Audra Blaser as Petal. I met her back at the premiere for The Toxic Avenger at the George Street Playhouse in New Brunswick. I just wish she had a larger role in Suburban Girl, since she lights up the screen in one of the few scenes that actually made The Sexy Armpit laugh.
The only movies my girlfriend and I agree on are usually those starring Paul Rudd, Jason Segal, or an iron clad Robert Downey Jr. Just like many women out there, she loves a good silly no-brainer romcom or a tear inducing drama, so once in a while I’ll meet her halfway. I found a movie starring SMG and Alec Baldwin that didn’t seem super cheesy, so it was a win-win.
In Suburban Girl, Alec Baldwin seems comfortable in the role of Archie Knox, a middle aged well known writer. The fact that Baldwin gives a sincere performance is not surprising since his role involves philandering, daughter issues, and alcoholism. Those aspects of Archie helped Baldwin provide the character with a very realistic quality.
Sarah Michelle Gellar plays Brett Eisenberg, a young associate book editor who falls for Archie. The much older Archie is noticeably taken by Brett and the two get their bang on. Their relationship is pretty weird, and almost uncomfortable in a father/daughter sort of way. That’s not some unfounded comment either, because Archie is looking to fill a void since his daughter doesn’t speak to him, while Gellar feels like her Dad, who has a terminal illness, was a bit cold and not as involved in her life when she was growing up. Subtext? It’s pretty blatant to me.
Not to diss a profession, but watching a film about an editor is almost as boring and tedious as learning the ins and outs of the editing process itself. Ultimately the film is not very interesting, nor does the “com” part of romcom exist aside from a few clever instances where you’ll definitely chuckle (i.e Solo Hacky Sack in Central Park, etc). As with many of the films I discuss here at The Sexy Armpit, this one has a few saving graces. The fact that it’s set in New York City is not one of them, but let’s take a look at the rest:
BRETT: “You were about to offer some advice?”
ARCHIE: “Well, when it comes to writers, there’s only one rule. Patience. Of course, if that fails, I know a very discreet hit-man who would spread the body parts all over Jersey.”
Later in the film, while flipping through a photo album of all the girls he’s bedded in the last 25 years or so, Archie mentions how he met his ex-wife at Princeton where he was a professor.
PETAL: “…I’m on hiatus right now…doing a play in the Village about the life of Eva Braun.”
I guess I’ll qualify Maggie Grace as one of the saving graces for the “Grace” correlation as well as the cool character Chloe who she brought to the screen. As Brett’s friend Chloe, Grace reminded me of a modern day version of Helen Hunt’s Lynn Stone from Girls Just Want to Have Fun, only less wild.
Well this book is obviously not a compendium of Archie’s sexual conquests, it’s Blubber a classic book written by Elizabeth, NJ born author Judy Blume!
NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 52: Jersey Shore Variety Pack
No, these tees aren’t actually available in a variety pack, don’t be so literal! If they did come in a pack it would be pretty awesome, I’d be having flashbacks to the days of the Wise Chips variety pack in the long box which included Bravos, popcorn, Potato chips, and Cheez Doodles; there were so many possibilities! What would I discover in my lunchbox, or should I say treasure chest? Back then, I had my favorite, and I know you did too. Bravos were the best because even though they were flimsier than a Dorito, their flavor was more subtle. So, much like tearing into a lunchbox sized bag of the second string nacho chip, if you can’t actually be at the Jersey Shore this summer, at least you might as well pretend you’re there with these t-shirts.
Even though MTV’s Jersey Shore brings a lot of attention to New Jersey, it’s not the best kind of attention. With guidos there is a lot of obnoxiousness, a melange of stenches made up of gallons of cologne mixed with body odor, terrible dancing, and tees with sweaty pits. All 12 of you who aren’t from Jersey originally and never lived in Jersey at one time or another, please understand that the experience of going “Down the Shore,” isn’t as much of a train wreck as you see on MTV’s stereotypical reality show. It’s nothing like walking around Malibu, California mind you, but we love it anyway for some f-cked up reason. Trust me though, except for certain bars and clubs, the actual Jersey Shore has nothing to do with the lobotomized guidos who have popularized it.
*Out of these tees, the Palm Tree shirt is my favorite because believe it or not, you’d be hard pressed to find a palm tree amongst all the refineries and toxic waste. At first glance The G.I Joe parody is pretty cool, but I would never step out of the house wearing it. Which one is your favorite?
Lea Michele is May’s Garden State Playmate
Even though her face looks like she’s trying to force out a really pesky dump whenever she sings, Glee‘s Lea Michele is May’s Garden State Playmate. She’s not full fledged Jersey though, she was born in The Bronx but grew up in Tenafly, New Jersey. Previous to scoring big with her role as high school singer Rachel Berry, Lea Michele was a promising young stage actress (showing your boobs really displays your acting chops), starring in productions of Spring Awakening and Les Miserables.
Since debuting last year, it didn’t take long for Glee and it’s stars to skyrocket to fame. I admit watching the original preview of the show in Hulu but I couldn’t get through the first 10 minutes. It seems like the country is obsessed with hearing people perform music that isn’t theirs. It’s like everyone has the Karaoke virus. I blame American Idol. Hearing the cast sing Madonna and Lady Gaga songs doesn’t impress me. OK, so I’m a party pooper, but sue me if I’d rather pop in my ear buds and listen to the REAL songs.
And for the record, in the world of The Sexy Armpit, “Gleek” can only describe a rambunctious blue monkey who hangs out with The Wonder Twins, but now, crazed fans of the hit Fox TV show are also calling themselves Gleeks. Zan and Jayna need to call their lawyer!