Ticket Giveaway: BAMBOOZLE ROADSHOW 2010!!!

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This Thursday, The Bamboozle Roadshow will stop at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, NJ! There’s an awesome lineup on two stages where you’ll see performances by Third Eye Blind, Good Charlotte, Boys Like Girls, Simple Plan, LMFAO, Forever the Sickest Kids, All Time Low and MORE!!!
The Sexy Armpit has a pair of tickets to give away, so if you want to be at the show and you don’t have tickets yet, then e-mail sexyarmpit@comcast.net and one winner will be chosen using a random line picker. Deadline to enter is Tuesday at 8:00 AM. Write TICKETS in the subject.
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*ALL concert goers have a shot to win Meet and Greet Passes at the Coca-Cola “Swelter Stopper” Tent. Forecasts are saying it’s going to be a hot one so head over to the Coca-Cola tent to get refreshed. Inside there are frosty air blasts, and snow falling! There’s also a sample bar, a DJ, games, and a photo booth.
For more information on the festival go to: www.thebamboozleroadshow.com
This prize was provided by The Coca-Cola Company. The Coca Cola Company is not a sponsor, administrator, or connected in any other way with this giveaway.
www.SexyArmpit.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 39: Six Flags Great Adventure

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This old school Six Flags Great Adventure shirt 

Have you ever actually bought an old, used, smelly, stained t-shirt on eBay? Personally, I can’t say that I have, but there must be enough people out there who do because there sure are a ton of eBay stores that specialize in what they call “vintage” t-shirts. In this case, vintage is a word that makes old and worn out sound somewhat desirable. These t-shirts aren’t the trendy, distressed, logo tees that you see at Target labeled Large but only seem to fit boys in 3rd grade, rather they are from whatever year YOU were in the 3rd grade. In many households the next step for these tees is either the trash, or the nearest good will clothing bin. The Sexy Armpit would probably throw the better quality ones in the good will bin, while the shittiest one would be used to dust off old electronics. We are in America after all, a country where so many people out there think, “why can’t we make a buck off of these ancient rags rather than donate them to people who are less fortunate.” What complete douchebags.

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The male model for Smith and Pooter Vintage, is apparently 6 feet tall and weighs 150 lbs. I’ll refrain from making assumptions about this guy’s character, but I will say that he has stupid hair. He definitely needs to start throwing back more White Castles or something because he looks emaciated. Of course, this shirt was originally a men’s large and now fits like a girls small, so this scrawny guy was a perfect choice to model this piece of shit shirt. Whoever you are, why do you buy this crap?
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Armpit stains (even the best detergent can’t eradicate evil Armpit stains!), holes, more stains
Just remember folks, as bad as this economy has been, YOU DO NOT have to lower yourself to buy used t-shirts, nor do you ever have to accept a job creeping everyone out while modeling stinky old t-shirts on eBay. You should however, still have fun, and more flags=more fun, SIX FLAGS! Oh man, they should be paying me for that.
www.SexyArmpit.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 36: Bugs Bunny in Atlantic City

Posted on by sexyarmpit
Bugs Bunny Atlantic City
WB Bugs Bunny Atlantic City T-Shirt courtesy of eBay member imasin1978
“Ehhh…what’s up slots? That’s probably what our favorite wabbit Bugs Bunny says when he’s gearing up to play in A.C. I wonder if he rubs his own foot before he hits the tables? On the front of today’s t-shirt, Bugs is all duked out in a tuxedo, but when he hightails it down the Garden State Parkway for a weekend filled with booze, hookers, and baccarat, I’m almost positive Bugs dresses like a total schlub as not to attract attention to himself. Remember, not only live action celebrities strive to conceal their identity in public, but you can bet your ass that anthropomorphic cartoon characters do as well.

You might think that Bugs would get mobbed when visiting a casino in Atlantic City, but actually it’s only the tourists that bother him. You see, Bugs is a Jersey boy. I know what you’re thinking right now. “Oh my Lord! Here he goes again, bragging about how everyone is connected to New Jersey!!!” It is true though, aside from the Easter Bunny, the hometown of the most famous bunny of pop culture is Perth Amboy, NJ! If you don’t believe me, start Googling!

Considering he’s a Jersey Bunny, Bugs is no stranger to the ins and outs of Atlantic City. Keeping with the anonymity thing, Bugs rolls down to A.C in his piece of shit 1996 Ford Aspire which he bought new when he received his huge windfall from signing on to star in Space Jam. It turned out to be quite a good investment since no one really ever thinks to look over at a Ford Aspire on the highway to see if an animated rabbit is driving it. The only downside is that it doesn’t drive too fast. While the Aspire plods down the GSP, adjacent in the EZ Pass Express lane, Road Runner meep meeps right passed him leaving Bugs in a cloud of dust digging for change to pay the toll.

Welcome to Atlantic City! Maybe the initials on this shirt should stand for “We’re Broke,” because that’s what many people are saying when they leave, much like this couple:

DAN: “Umm…honey?’
DAN’S WIFE: “Yes Dear?”
DAN: “I’m not sure how to tell you this, but I gambled away all of little Emma’s college money…but I bought this really cute Bugs Bunny shirt with my comp dollars! It’s a little big, but you can wear it to bed!”
DAN’S WIFE: “WHAT?!?! Are you f-cking kidding me?!?! Do I have to call Rocky and Mugsy to fix this? And what in the name of Speedy Gonzales made you think I’d want a freaking Bugs Bunny t-shirt? You know my favorite is Hippety Hopper you broke bastard!”

*If you did any Googling to see if there is any truth to Bugs hailing from Perth Amboy, I commend you. If you didn’t and you simply don’t believe me, then believe this: Bugs Bunny Land resided at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, NJ from 1988 to 2004. Presently, Six Flags Great Adventure features Bugs Bunny National Park in addition to a couple of rides in the Looney Tunes Seaport. So how do ya like them carrots?

www.SexyArmpit.com

Six Flags Great Adventure Going Bankrupt?

Posted on by sexyarmpit

Here’s the story courtesy of NJ.com.

Even Great Adventure isn’t immune to the woes of the failing economy. Sad, but true.

The 2nd comment to that post is from “xynamax”: “WHERE’S THEIR BAILOUT?”

Haha! I loved that comment. We need distractions just as much as we need cars. Escaping reality is one of the best ways to cope with stress in our hectic lives. Enjoying a “great adventure,” is one of life’s little joys. Although waiting on those long lines is NOT. I don’t think I’ll be able to live without going on Nitro a couple of hundred more times in my life. Somebody save Six Flags!

www.SexyArmpit.com

“New Pepsi Logo is an Atrocity!” says The Sexy Armpit.com

Posted on by sexyarmpit
Last night, I had the genius plan of going to Walmart. Going there is like getting ass from a girl who you know you really don’t want ass from but you convince yourself that you need it and it might not be that bad. Then the minute you leave her house you realize it was a huuuge mistake and the whole ordeal took much longer than it should have. The only good thing that comes out of the situation is that you realize you didn’t catch anything, HOORAY! Even though I probably would’ve rather caught something than waited on the check out line for 45 minutes to buy a can of soda.

As my silly “not based on real life” analogy comes to an abrupt halt, take a gander to the left and peep out this cool retro Pepsi can I found at Walmart last night. Out of all the cool cans that are part of Pepsi’s aluminum retro collection, this is closest to the one I grew up with. “Take the Pepsi Challenge” appears on a banner at the bottom. It brought back memories, especially considering the atrocity that is the latest Pepsi logo…if you can call it a logo. Why is it in this country we constantly feel the need to unnecessarily change things?

Finding this can at the bottom of the shelf in the soda aisle reminded me that I took some pictures of vintage soda art when I was in Las Vegas recently. In the waiting area of the New York, New York Roller Coaster, the walls feature some awesome murals of retro soft drinks. I was easily more enthralled by this artwork than I was the actual roller coaster, which completely sucked ass. It wasn’t a fun time at all and the wait time didn’t justify how shitty the ride was. Perhaps I’m just spoiled living right up the NJ Turnpike from Six Flags Great Adventure.

These murals are from the “soft drink renaissance” of art history. You may recall studying that period in college. Upon careful scrutiny, do you notice anything strange about this one? The messed up thing is that the Mountain Dew cup has the modern day logo rather than it’s retro look.
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This mural features the Pepsi challenger race car and 3 classic soft drinks that have been lost to the ages: Pepsi Free, Pepsi Light, and Slice!
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When The Sexy Armpit opens “The Soft Drink Hall of Fame,” these 2 pieces will surely be prime exhibits!

www.SexyArmpit.com

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.12: The Karate Kid is “Goin’ Back to Jersey…to Jersey”

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In 1989, The Karate Kid starred in his own short lived animated series. In the 2nd episode, Homecoming, Danielson heads back to his home state of New Jersey to search for a mystical shrine. Sadly, there’s no sign of Johnny Lawrence aka the legendary William Zabka. Although all isn’t lost, since much of the episode’s action takes place at an amusement park. As far as I know there are no amusement parks in Newark, so who knows? Maybe they were at Six Flags Great Adventure?

It was announced last week that a new Karate Kid film may go into production starring Will Smith’s son Jaden.

Finding this video on Hulu was a big score. If you haven’t visited Hulu then get on it! I signed up when it was in beta and it was well worth it. Hulu is my first stop for SNL sketches, full length movies, and TV episodes. It gets me caught up on shows and some ’80s classics during my lunch hour at work.

http://www.hulu.com/embed/MI-D0wH3ZP6DF-_H7YrcGQ

www.SexyArmpit.com

Elvira’s Superstition Ride

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A BIG thank you to Jamdin at Moongem Comics for keeping me entertained this Halloween season with his killer Elvira posts all throughout the month! For me Elvira always =’s good times.

I’m a yearly Six Flags season pass holder and this season I made it to Great Adventure only a handful of times. Every time I go it seems like there’s over an hour wait on all of my favorite rides! What the hell is that crap? There’s only one way around that and I refuse to give them MORE money to buy a Flash Pass. If they are free at Disney World, they should be free in Jackson, N.J. Despite those disappointments, I still get a season pass and try to make it to Fright Fest even though it doesn’t feel half as fun as it used to. I wonder if it’s just that I’m getting older or if it’s actually getting suckier?

One attraction that I still refer to as the Mach 1 Adventure (cause I’m old school) transforms into the Elvira Superstition ride during Fright Fest. Every time I pass the big Elvira banner I get excited and it’s the one attraction I hope Great Adventure will offer during Fright Fest each year. Elvira is the one true icon of Halloween aside from all the classic movie monsters and killers and the thought of her fills me with the Halloween spirit. Elvira to Halloween is basically what Santa Claus is to Christmas, or better yet…some really hot playboy playmate dressed as one of Santa’s sexy helpers.

Superstition is a fun attraction, although I wish your coaster car wound up rolling into the Haunted House at the end and getting to see the interior more in depth. This You Tube video features Elvira’s ride in its entirety. First you’ll see the pre-show video, and then the ride! Buckle up.

www.SexyArmpit.com

Want a Savior But Don’t Need a Fake? Elect Alice Cooper!

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This just in from the Sexy Armpit News Desk:

The U.S Treasury is presently in discussions to officially remove George Washington from the dollar bill and replace him with the macabre rocker Alice Cooper. The country nervoulsy anticipates the outcome of such a monumental decision. When contacted for a comment Cooper just started yelling “I want to be elected.” Coming to you live from Washington D.C, I’m Jay Amabile for The Sexy Armpit.com

Here you can sign the petition that will hopefully get Alice Cooper elected president which will hopefully lead to him getting his face on the one dollar bill. Let’s take a look at his resume and see why he’s more qualified than both of our candidates in this presidential election:

As it turns out, much like Wayne and Garth, we’re not worthy! Not only has Alice partied with the Muppets, Jason Voorhees, and Slash but he’s also got himself a mean golf swing. I’m sure he’s trying to forget his moment accompanying Jake “The Snake” Roberts to the ring at Wrestlemania 3 so we won’t make him re-live that one.

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Before we get to the videos, I actually caught this Alice Cooper One Dollar Bill at his Brutal Planet concert 9 years ago today. Alice kicked off Fright Fest at Six Flags Great Adventure on October 1st 1999. It wasn’t the only time I saw Alice but seeing his show on a cool, eerie October night in the middle of an amusement park didn’t get much better! I caught the dollar bill and Ryan Roxie’s guitar pick; could the night get any more memorable? Just after that thought ran through my head I saw Alice come over to us (we were in the front) pointing his cane at my then girlfriend as he sang to her “…You’re Poison runnin’ through my veins!” I chuckled to myself as if he knew my pain! Thanks for relating Alice! Now onto the videos!

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Evel Knievel Roller Coaster at Six Flags – Just Not OUR Six Flags!

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Six Flags in St. Louis unveiled their Evel Knievel roller coaster to the public a little over a month ago. I’m nowhere near St. Louis so when I need my thrill ride fix I head down to Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, New Jersey. At Six Flags in NJ, we have a super fast and smooth wooden coaster called El Toro that opened a couple of years ago. Why couldn’t they just go the St. Louis route and name it after the legendary motorcycle stuntman Evel Knievel? That would’ve been too rad for New Jersey. Last week, Greg from our friends at Half-Assed Productions published an awesome review of the Evel Knievel roller coaster! Check it out here! After reading Greg’s review, boy am I jealous! I want to go to St. Louis just to ride the damn thing!

www.SexyArmpit.com