Santino Sunday Morning!
Santino Saturday Night!
From The WWE Fall Preview 2007: “From Paterson, NJ”
“Wrestlemahnia” as Santino Marella pronounces it, is upon us! Whether you’re a wrestling fan or not, it’s the Super Bowl of sports entertainment. That isn’t some cliched pop culture analogy either, it’s true. No matter how many cringe worthy moments there usually are at Wrestlemania, I still get excited for the event after all these years. And I’m sure you’ve heard by now that Snooki from Jersey Shore will attempt to channel her fiery cat fighting skills as well as her horrific fake tan to help John Morrison and Trish Stratus subdue Dolph Ziggler and Lay-Cool at Wrestlemania 27.
In honor of the funniest man in WWE, Santino Marella, I’ve dubbed tonight Santino Saturday Night. I’m sure you can guess what tomorrow morning is! Why would I dedicate an entire post to The Tortellini of Temptation? Aside from constantly making me laugh, when Santino was first introduced in WWE he hailed from Paterson New Jersey, which is spelled with one T contrary to it’s spelling in the picture above. Nowadays, he’s announced as being from Calabria, Italy, but he was actually born in Canada. No matter what, I still fondly recall the days that the WWE writers got a kick out of claiming he was from New Jersey. Tomorrow, Santino will team up with his partner Vladimir Kozlov, The Big Show, and Kane to take on I-C Champ Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Heath Slater, and Justin Gabriel.
Monsters, TNA, and PB & Jay
SS SEXY ARMPIT CAPTAIN’s LOG
MISSION: BIRTHDAY WEEKEND
Saturday March 12, 2011
The Monster Mania Con was calling my name like Vader taunting Luke. The con fell on my birthday weekend so not going wasn’t an option. Cherry Hill NJ is a bit of a hike from Sexy Armpit Headquarters but when I woke up on Saturday morning I noticed the weather was sunny and pretty warm so I decided that a ride down the Turnpike for Monster Mania was the thing to do.
Once I got off at exit 4, I stopped for an iced coffee at D and D to recharge myself and then headed to the Crowne Plaza Hotel. Out of all the stars that were signing autographs over the weekend there weren’t any names that I was hardcore about getting to meet. Of course there were some hotties like Dina Meyer, Allison Barron, and Melinda Clarke, but this time around I was planning on just hanging out and having a good time.
Parking was atrocious as usual, they really need to do something about that. Once the summer installment of MM rolls around I don’t feel like walking 3 1/2 miles back to my car in the sweltering heat. Fortunately, I was able to nab a fairly close spot, but that was after 15 minutes of driving around. Inside I noticed the same scenes of previous MM cons, but that’s what’s cool about it. I thought to myself, “If only there was a place like this that you could go hang all the time, not just a couple of times a year.”
I kept my spending to a minimum and made only a few purchases.
One of them was something cool for Miss Sexy Armpit at the SourPuss Clothing table.
I met a much cooler New Jersey version of Kat Von D, Jessica Rajs. Jess is the creative director from Bad Zombie, the creators of The New Jersey Zombie Walk. They not only organize the Zombie Walk but also sell some rad T-Shirts as well as a Pinup Calendar of some sexy and zombified local ladies. The Gorgeous and Gory Pinup Calendar is sold out, but each print was available for purchase along with other cool swag.
Finally the coolest moments of the con came when I ran into a few familiar faces. First, the question was posed what would happen if The Sexy Armpit was in The Man Cave? Two major players at the MM Con, Geof Capodanno of The Man Cave Blog and his friend and expert cameraman Dan Petrucci do it up in style with a hotel room, and not one igloo, but TWO M*THERF*CKING IGLOOS! What’s so cool about the Igloos you ask? They were filled with…BEER! So they were nice enough to invite a wandering Sexy Armpit up to their room for a brew and they also filmed a Man Cave Interview with me too! It sound so dirty but it really isn’t! It will probably be posted over there pretty soon so be on the lookout! It was a really fun time and I look forward to hanging out with the Man Cave crew again in the future. Thanks guys!
From there I also ran into John and his girlfriend from Freddy in Space (one of the best horror blogs out there) and had a minute to talk with them. And then I talked with none other than the writer and director of the awesome revenge film, JERSEY JUSTICE, John Charles Hunt! If you have a minute, check out The Sexy Armpit’s review of the film right here. By the end of the day I realized that socializing without any stringent agenda made the day way more fun. Without being rushed around and bleeding money out of my wallet I had a chance to really enjoy the experience.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H7PZ4fhIJo?rel=0]
After the con it was time to rush back up the Turnpike for the TNA Wrestling show in Rahway NJ. In addition to “The Shore” spectacle made up of Robbie E., Cookie, and Angelina from Jersey Shore, most of the big TNA stars also appeared including Kurt Angle, AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy, Matt Morgan, and Beer Money. Velvet Sky was signing during intermission so it was my big chance to meet her. Getting a picture with Velvet Sky made me quite a happy man. The show’s fast paced ring action made the crowd electric. It was a great time and we met up with some friends after the show.
What’s a birthday without a cool cake? Is that a giant peanut butter and jelly sandwich in this picture or a birthday cake masquerading as a giant peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I primed my girlfriend several months in advance that this was the cake I wanted for my birthday and she remembered. So we slapped some candles into that bad boy and dug in. Using the Cakewich Sandwich Style Cake Mold, who is getting a free plug right now, Miss Sexy Armpit took the time to concoct this delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich cake. I know lots of people who despise peanut butter but obviously I am not one of them. PB and J has always been one of my favorite snacks, whether it’s between bread or on crackers, it’s simple and reminds me of being a kid. Gotta have some milk with it though! This cake was a fun, nostalgic, and a change of pace from your average butter cream birthday cake.
That brings the 2011 Birthday celebration to an end. Thanks for reading and I can only hope it’s just as exciting next year!
Top 10 Other Meanings of G.T.L: NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 70
The Situation isn’t the only one who can coin original acronyms. Anyone can do it! Acronyms make it easier to remember names, companies, lists, and other stuff, but when the acronym has more than one meaning, that’s when remembering them all becomes a task. Since we are already familiar with Gym, Tanning, and Laundry, I have gathered together many of the alternate words that the letters G.T.L also stand for. Even TNA Wrestler Robbie E. formulated his own credo of G.T.W (Gym, Tanning and Wrestling.) Feel free to create your own! Here’s some from The Sexy Armpit:
Goobers. Trannies. Lint
Ghouls. Trix. Lauper
Gremlins. Tomes and Talismans. Labyrinth
Guidos. Wasabi. Licky Boom Boom Down
Gwildor. Torture. Labias
GaGa. Teeth. Lingerie
Grendel. Titties. Lube
Ghoulash. Tacos. Lime-aid
Go-Bots. Transformers. Lion-O
Tokka. Grover. Lurch
NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 69: Monstrous Wildwood Energy
When I take a sip of that bubbly Monster Energy Drink it makes me feel like I’m splashing in the ocean at New Jersey’s premiere, moderately priced resort town, Wildwood. And on the flip side, just the sheer idea of being in Wildwood transforms me into a ferocious energized beast. You know what activates me even more than sipping an energy drink on a sunny summer day at the Jersey Shore? Blatant displays of trademark infringement! Whaddya know? If you turn the clawed out letter “M” on the Monster can upside down, you have a “W,” which stands for Wildwood!
When I’m on the boardwalk and I slip this t-shirt on, it propels me to a ridiculuously high level of primal savagery. Inhaling 7 full paper plates of funnel cake in mere milliseconds is only the tip of the iceberg. Instead of standing aside and just “watching the tram car,” I started huffing and puffing and sprinted right towards it head on. I wasn’t playing a game of chicken with the tramcar either. I actually tackled a moving tramcar at full speed and then swung it around over my head at least 2 or 3 times just because I had so much energy to expel.
I’m telling you, these Monster style Wildwood t-shirts need to come with some kind of surgeon general warning: “PLEASE DO NOT WEAR THIS T-SHIRT IF YOU ARE ALREADY AWESOME AT WRECKING SHIT UP BECAUSE ONCE YOU PUT IT ON YOU WILL BE DOUBLY GOOD AT WRECKING SHIT UP AND THAT’S NOT COOL BECAUSE YOU ARE CLEARLY ALREADY RECKLESS AND YOU WILL BE A DANGER TO THE OTHER FINE CITIZENS ON THE BOARDWALK OR WHEREVER YOU MAY BE, ALSO, THIS T-SHIRT WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM ANY SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES, OH, AND DO NOT WEAR IF YOU ARE PREGNANT.”
This Halloween Don’t Go Guido
Check out the Pauly D wannabe giving us the Blue Steel
Halloween isn’t even here yet and I’m already preemptively sick of all the people dressing up as characters from MTV’s Jersey Shore. I can see the groups now, entering costume contests, lifting their shirts up to show their abs, comparing their poufs, and just being plain obnoxious. I live in Jersey so I don’t need to run into artificial guidos when there’s already enough real ones around as it is. Hopefully people thinking of buying these Jersey Shore costumes will think twice before making the purchase. Just a word of advice if you are actually thinking of going through with it, don’t you think there’s going to be a shitload of other people going as the same thing? Seriously people, this is Halloween not a Snook-a-like contest.
Because only people from Jersey like “Chewing Gum” right?
TNA Wrestling in Rahway, NJ
TNA Wrestling put on an unforgettable show at the Rahway Recreational Center on Saturday September 25th. I missed out on the TNA live event at Asbury Park’s Convention Hall several months back, so I wanted to be sure I caught the next one that came around.
TNA’s live events are more personal than WWE’s. TNA creates an atmosphere that is more like a wrestling convention, think of it as a Monster Mania Con, or Chiller Theater of wrestling events. From autograph signings to photo ops you have plenty of shots at meeting your favorite wrestlers and knockouts. The highest ticket price was $50 dollars which is typically a less than average seat at a WWE event, but with the most expensive ticket at TNA event you will gain entrance an hour before doors open for a meet and greet with the wrestlers. Our tickets were $35 dollars and they were worth every penny.
Heel or face, all of the TNA wrestlers were personable and ready to sign your program or take a picture with you. To me, that is what people want, they the wrestlers to be accessible. Today’s generation especially, they document, take pictures, blog, and post on Facebook their every move, so TNA is way ahead of WWE in that respect. Many of WWE’s guys walk around after a show like snobby movie stars unless they are total babyfaces or just low on the card.
Don West was presenting the crowd with all kinds of merch specials throughout the night. They made her an offer she couldn’t refuse, so Miss Sexy Armpit was sweet and bought me the special that included a TNA shirt, and a TNA bag with 4 mystery DVD’s for $20 bucks! The t-shirt is awesome and I was happy to get the Christian Cage DVD!
Highlights of the night included Elizabeth NJ’s own Jay Lethal recapturing the X-Division title in front of his parents and the hometown crowd. His match against Amazing Red was the best, most exciting match of the night. There were tons of counter maneuvers and near falls all executed with the finesse that only these guys have. Also, we were lucky enough to get a preview of Robbie E. and Cooki, of The Jersey Shore inspired team, The Shore who will be debuting on TNA iMPACT in the next couple of weeks.
It wasn’t all sunshine and red ring ropes though. The guy they had wheeling around a cart selling TNA programs to the folks on line outside before the show was a total dick. I asked him if I could just take a quick look through the book before I purchased it and he replied nastily, “It’s a program, it’s got pictures of all the wrestlers in it!” NO SHIT, I know what a f*cking program is you ASSHOLE! I held back because I tend to loose it on people who state the obvious. This was a $20 book, not some little magazine filled you haphazardly pick up at a grocery store check out counter. I wanted to thumb through the damn thing first. He finally let me after I gave him a classic Armpit “Are you f*cking kidding me?” look. Even Amazon lets me preview a book before I buy it!
The worst part about the night was that there was no air conditioning! The gym in the rec. center was upwards of 90 degrees and extremely unpleasant. Everyone was sweaty and gross and there were various odors wafting around. Trust me, you don’t want fumes from some dudes hot dog burp going up your nose or God forbid, in your mouth! Luckily no one was farting by us, but for some reason whenever I go to an event, whether it’s wrestling or a concert, people think they can unload at will. BTW – that’s f*cking gross and you should cut that shit out. The action in the ring and all the various offshoot signings easily took my mind off of the tiny beads of sweat dripping down the sides of my head.
Elaine’s Dinner Theater in Cape May NJ
Don’t give me that crap about summer being over! There’s still time to sneak down to The Jersey Shore and don’t worry, in Cape May you definitely won’t run into Snooki or JWoww. You’re exempt if you live too far away, but if you are within a reasonable driving distance you MUST venture down there to experience Elaine’s Dinner Theater. Miss Sexy Armpit planned it all and surprised me, and I was skeptical at first, but I already want to go back!
Elaine’s offers such a unique night for those who appreciate superb food and live entertainment. The entertainment isn’t a burlesque show or a male revue either, but it does offer lots of laughs and a taste of the macabre. I was in luck because the show I witnessed had zombies, surfing, and even some magic mushrooms.
The Zombie Beach Party was a fun throwback to the ’60s beach movies starring Frankie and Annette, only with a horror comedy twist. Think of it as Off Broadway…160 miles off Broadway. A couple of the actors played multiple roles, but that’s one of the most entertaining aspects of the production. The cast clearly loves to perform since they were having a blast up on stage. After inhaling an unbelievable meal and kicking back and laughing at the great stage show, I couldn’t believe what a great time I was having.
The entire cast was extremely talented and had excellent comedic timing. The main character, Jeanette (pictured surfing above), not only made me laugh the entire time, but she also created such authentic mannerisms. It was as if Judy Garland killed some brain cells and started hanging out with the girls from the movie Clueless. Her singing voice was so precise during her performance of “Be My Baby” she sounded exactly like Ronnie Spector.
Dinner Theater seems like an old fashioned concept, but Elaine’s has brought it back. People want something fresh and sometimes it doesn’t have to be revolutionary, but perhaps just an existing idea re-imagined. For example, movie theaters aren’t bringing in as many people as they used to because of ticket prices, on demand, and the sweet home theater they have set up in their living room. The fancy AMC Fork and Screens are morphing theaters into movie theater/restaurant hybrids in hopes of attracting more business. In this landscape of sitting at home watching blu-rays, going to a dinner theater was an enjoyable change of pace.
Included with your reservation is a full course dinner and then when you are nice and full, the show begins. To start off, I had Cream of Broccoli soup and then the amazing Eggplant Roulade for my main entree. For the price, Elaine’s Dinner Theater is an unbeatable night out.
In addition to their Dinner Theater, Elaine’s also offers a haunted mansion, murder mystery weekends, ghost hunters weekends, and ghost tours. Beginning in November through December, Elaine’s will be presenting Scrooge The Musical.
Elaine’s Dinner Theater
www.twitter.com/ElainesCapeMay
Jersey Circus
Often there are times when people wonder “where do people come up with this shit?” Many of those times people in my life say that about me. This time, I’m saying it about the highly amusing new blog, Jersey Circus. They’ve enjoyed a lot of press lately, but if you’ve somehow missed it, it’s simple: “…Jersey Shore and Family Circus Come Together.”
Introducing Robbie E. and Cookie: SHORE on TNA
I have no qualms about admitting that I’ve enjoyed TNA Wrestling much more than the crap WWE has been putting out for the last several months. There’s a bunch of reasons why I’ve basically jumped ship like Nash and Hall did when they went to WCW. If you can’t possibly comprehend why I feel this way, I’ll explain.
Foremost, the feel of TNA programming overall reminds me of how wrestling was when I first became obsessed with it. The roster is a crew of extremely talented individuals. Whether it’s the stellar tag teams, the X-division, or the ladies, they all have proven their talent and they didn’t need no stinkin’ reality show! Their new stars aren’t being forced down our throats either, they are genuinely making fans interested via awesome matches and cutting attention grabbing promos. TNA’s ranking system adds some legitimacy to the title race, while the unscripted promos are more natural and lend realism to the characters.
Since Hogan and Bischoff joined the company, TNA has been on a slow, but steady incline. There’s certainly a handful of veteran stars, but the focus is predominantly on new talent. Personally, I find it more exciting to watch wrestlers that come from the indy scene rather than those who have been scooped up after Vince fired their asses.
One of those wrestlers who has had an extensive run in several independent companies as well as occasional spots in WWE is New Jersey born Rob Eckos. Eckos, the former “Platinum Poppa,” was recently signed to TNA as Robbie E., a guido type character inspired by MTV’s Jersey Shore, which happens to be TNA’s direct timeslot competition. Do not judge him by his upcoming tongue in cheek take off on the Jersey Shore crew, Eckos is a profoundly talented wrestler who already has over 10 years of in-ring experience. An entry in The Top 10 Reasons to Watch The Wrestler on Blu-Ray here at The Sexy Armpit was that Eckos’ name was mentioned in it! I think it’s the coolest thing to be name dropped in one of my favorite movies of all time, and one of the best Jersey based films ever.
Robby E’s valet will be a send up of Snooki, aptly named Cookie, whose previous ring name was Becky Bayless, a spunky female wrestler also pulled from the indy scene. Make sure you check out TNA Thursday Night iMPACT! on SPIKE TV in the coming weeks to see the premiere of Robbie E. and Cookie!