NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 47: Hard Rock Cafe Atlantic City

atlantic city,t-shirt,hard rock
Art from a Hard Rock Cafe Atlantic City T-Shirt

The nation’s second most popular gambling city has a plan to eliminate their competition. Surrounding areas such as Pennsylvania, Connecticut, and New York have attempted to give Atlantic City a run for its money. But just like Dr. Janosz Poha said about the impervious Vigo the Carpathian, these other second rate gambling establishments “are like the buzzing of flies to him.” Taking its cue from swank hotels like The Borgata, The Hard Rock plans to create one hell of an upscale experience to sucker people back to the city that Monopoly took its street names from. The $300 million dollar project will include a boutique hotel and casino similar to their Las Vegas location. Translation: another reason for your girlfriend to try and entice you to hop on the GSP to voluntarily insert wads of hard earned cash into those noisy mind control machines. Until their new complex is built, you can head over to the existing Hard Rock Cafe in Atlantic City which is located at The Trump Taj Mahal and features a Gibson guitar shaped bar. If you’ve never been there, grab some lunch before a concert. The Hickory Smoked Pulled Pork Sandwich is recommended.

Today’s tee beats the hell out of the typical Hard Rock Cafe logo tees that you see everywhere. This shirt is colorful, elaborate, and captures both the gambling aspect of A.C as well as the skyline and elements of the shore where the restaurant is located. Ebay seller benk_store has this shirt up for sale.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.38: Baby It’s You

Baby It's You
I had not heard of Baby It’s You until a couple of years ago when I discovered that it was based in Trenton, NJ so I wanted to check it out. Recently, I rented it from Netflix and even though there’s been many occasions where The Sexy Armpit has been known to save a film merely based on its ties to New Jersey, as you will read in this review, even with the added feature of seeing Rosanna Arquette’s boobs for the bazillionth time, Baby It’s You is better left undiscovered.
Baby It’s You, is based on a story by Trenton-born Amy Robinson, and begins in 1966, and progresses into the early ’70s. The soundtrack is classic, but even it can’t incite the plot, if you want to call it that, to miraculously become interesting. Considering the film was made in 1983 and is set in 1966, when I heard the first Springsteen track play it was obvious the filmmakers were taking some creative license. Featuring some of Springsteen’s best songs worked well within the film and it kept with the Jersey theme, but it wasn’t enough to rescue the dismal film out of the depths of the Delaware River.

Baby It's You
The flaw of the film is that the two main characters are unlikeable. Our main character, Jill, played by Rosanna Arquette, gets courted by a more suave version of a greaser who calls himself Sheik. Sheik (Vincent Spano) dresses to the nines to make up for the fact that he’s pretty much a loser and has daddy issues. For some outrageous reason, he thinks that he’s going to be a singer someday and make something of himself. Shiek’s mom is very sweet and encouraging while his father is tough on him. I didn’t feel bad for Sheik’s home life at all, nor did I have any sympathy for Jill’s situation. Jill seemed to have a perfect situation, she was an above average student who lived with 2 caring parents in a nice house. She aspired to be an actress and she succeeded in high school and college, but not without Sheik proving to be a distraction in her pursuit.

asbury park,new jersey
Get this, Sheik’s aspirations were not to be an actor like Jill, but to be a singer like Frank Sinatra. Now, if he could only actually SING then he’d be headed in the right direction! This guy looked like he would be a crooning version of Tony Manero. His dream is to do a night club show where he lip syncs to songs from Sinatra, Dean Martin, Paul Anka, and others. What kind of a lousy dream is it to lipsync to songs played from a stereo at a night club half filled with old drunk people? The dude winds up working at a club in Florida lip syncing along with songs, not even doing Karaoke. Karaoke singers seem like Pavarotti compared to this guy. If you’re halfway decent at the video game Rock Band then you already have more talent than Sheik! With all his expensive suits helping to play up his image, Sheik was clearly trying to find an identity. Sheik was overcompensating for the fact that he didn’t really have any talent, but knew that he wanted to be a famous singer. It was hard to relate to this character, since it’s easy to realize when you just aren’t cut out for something.
His advances toward Jill were just plain creepy. They didn’t even know each other and he just plopped himself down at her lunch table one day, came on strong, and then wondered why she wasn’t receptive to him. Eventually, Jill falls for this metrosexual bad boy. She agrees to let him take her out. Sheik brings her to a dive bar and ignores her to hang with his friends at a completely different table for the entire night. What a douche! Oh yeah, was there a time when you were allowed to drive on the boardwalk? Or was this another way for him to demonstrate what a badass he is? Shiek was basically the film’s answer to late ’60s guido. Maybe guidos have a license to drive on the boardwalk?

Baby It's You
“The way I figure it, there’s only 3 people in the world that matter. 
Jesus Christ, Frank Sinatra, and Me.” 
– Albert “Sheik” Capadilupo (It’s must be the late ’60s version of GTL)
Sheik had a bad temper. Spano played him like a completely unhinged slimeball, especially when Sheik informs Jill that he got kicked off the basketball team. She tries to get away from him and tells him to leave her alone “Whattya think you’re too f-cking good for me?” he says before launching her school books down the hallway. He throws a fit and hits the locker like an immature little bitch. What’s with this guy? Was this how Jersey Shore would have been in 1966? In a later scene, while looking for Jill, he trashed her dorm room before she returned. After she walks in to see him, Arquette barely shows any feeling of shock that he has just completely trashed her place. “…my stuff” she says in a docile tone. Yeah. That’s what I’d say if I came home to find that my shit was thrown around the room and the place had been totally ransacked. “…my stuff.”

Asbury Park
As you can see, Jill is just plain stupid. Sheik and his pal actually wind up kidnapping Jill and her friend. He grabs them, tosses them in the car, puts a gun to them, and speeds away. Maybe I wasn’t interpreting this scene and the ones that followed correctly, but it seemed like a truly dumbass move for Jill to forgive him after what he did. If I put myself into Jill’s character, I just can’t relate to her, but you can bet your ass that I would NOT continue dating someone who kidnapped me at gunpoint. Crazy bitch!  Is this entire movie just about Jill’s infatuation with “the wrong guy?” How pathetic. At one point, Sheik even bangs one of her best friends!
The theme of the film seems to be “I’ll love you no matter how fucked in the head you are.” With all the emotions that were desperately pleading to be relayed to the viewers, they never come across. It’s a shame because the movie intends to mirror the frustration, confusion, and chaos that makes up a teenagers transition into adulthood. It’s a downer and it fails to convey these feelings because of our lack of sympahty for the two main characters. Their lives aren’t that bad, in fact, they are pretty damn good. After watching the film, the characters seemed like 2 spoiled brats who are bored with their suburban upbringing. They are basically normal teens who are going through the same crap that everyone else goes through. Baby It’s You isn’t sure what it wants to be, but what it does agree on being is a f-cked up love story with some damn good shots of Asbury Park.

Asbury Park
asbury park,new jersey

Jersey Shore Bobbleheads

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MTV’s Jersey Shore Bobbleheads available at Entertainment Earth
You’ve officially made it when there’s bobbleheads being made of you. Pictured above are renderings of what the upcoming MTV’s Jersey Shore Bobbleheads will look like, and they don’t look bad, except for The Situation. I don’t think it will matter to him that his face looks a bit odd because he’s still showing off his trademark abs. I imagine that the only people who will buy The Situation’s bobblehead are his young female fans. Come to think of it, I don’t know anyone who owns or buys bobbleheads, so I’m under the impression that Bobbleheads are exclusively sold to Bobblehead collectors. More importantly, who the hell wants to watch Snooki’s head bobble around? Couldn’t they have made her a “booblehead” instead? Bouncing boobs are always a source of endless enjoyment, and it’s a surefire way to make Snooki’s bobblehead a hit unless they design her head to jerk back and forth like she’s getting punched in the mouth.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 46: Scarlet Carson

rock band,scarlet carson,new jersey,t-shirt

It’s been 2 years since NJ rockers Scarlet Carson made their debut and they’ve been gaining huge momentum ever since. This month they have quite a schedule lined up for themselves. On April 17th, they’ll be playing the legendary Stone Pony for The Break Contest for the chance to play at this year’s Bamboozle Festival, and the day after on April 18th, they’ll be opening up for Papa Roach at Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, NJ. As if that weren’t huge enough, they also have the opening slot for Saliva in New York City’s Highline Ballroom on 4/27.

scarlet carson,new jersey,rock band,t-shirt

Instead of letting Los Angeles get all the glory, Scarlet Carson label their style of rock “Dirty Jersey Rock n Roll.” Their latest album Burn It All is available now, so go check out a few tracks at their Myspace page! Reviews of both of Scarlet Carson’s albums are forthcoming here at The Sexy Armpit, so stay tuned! Go to www.scarletcarson.ning.com for more.

Jersey Girl Cocktail

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from the menu of Windansea in Highlands, NJ

After having dinner at Windansea in Highlands, NJ recently, I noticed The Jersey Girl was the first specialty drink listed on the menu. If you’re feeling creative, here’s the ingredients to make your very own Jersey Girl drink. Keep in mind, this sounds super sweet so it will most likely cause hangovers galore.
Laird’s Applejack

Triple Sec

Pineapple Juice

Cranberry Juice

Lemon-Lime Soda

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.37: The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

The 2009 remake of The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3, has a New Jersey in-joke. Travolta’s subway hijaking character Ryder becomes very defensive when dispatcher Walter Garber (Denzel Washington) makes a punchline out of The Garden State. In reality, Travolta was born in Englewood, New Jersey. In an ironic twist, the film also stars Jersey born Tony Soprano himself, James Gandolfini as the Mayor of New York City!

new york,new jersey,denzel,travolta
Ryder and Garber



RYDER: “Yeah well you know, you live, you die, you either go with the current or you fight it, but you all wind up in the same place”
WALTER GARBER: “Where’s that, Jersey?”
RYDER: “Yeah you watch it, I was born there man.”

Jane Krakowski is March’s Garden State Playmate

New Jersey,30 Rock

In my world, before her success as Jenna Maroney on 30 Rock, Jane Krakowski’s most notable role was in National Lampoon’s Vacation. The amount of times myself or someone I was speaking to has quoted Cousin Vicki’s notorious line has reached infinity by now. Say it with me:

COUSIN VICKI: “I’m going steady…and I french kiss…”
AUDREY: “So, everybody does that…”
COUSIN VICKI: “Yeah, but daddy says I’m the best at it…”

Match that little sliver of dialogue with Jane Krakowski’s superb white trash delivery and it solidified her as one of the most talented comedic actresses. Sure, her list of films since Vacation in 1983 has not been spectacular, but she has done steady work, especially in television. Her roles in shows like Ally McBeal and 30 Rock have gained her Golden Globes, SAG awards, and Primetime Emmys.

New Jersey,30 Rock

Presently, Krakowski’s star status is credible and has made mostly everyone forget about how she had to play Betty O’Shale in the prequel, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas. And, if you are a horror buff like me, IMDB lets us in on the tidbit that Krakowski was originally cast in the original Sleepaway Camp as Judy, but dropped out because she felt her death scene was too violent. I don’t think that role would have swayed the direction of her career either way, but if she had been offered the role of Angela, now that decision would have made an impact. Some of Krakowski’s other film roles include Fatal Attraction, Go, Ice Age, Surf’s Up, The Rocker, and Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant.

In addition to her TV and film credits, Krakowski is a singer and has appeared in several Broadway productions such as Grand Hotel, Once Upon a Mattress, and won a Tony Award for her performance in Nine. She also appeared in the 2005 version of Guys and Dolls in London starring Ewan McGregor.

New Jersey,30 Rock

The Parsippany, New Jersey born actress receives extra points for starring in A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa, which is one of the better Muppets TV movies, as well as an episode of…The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles!