breakfast cereal Archives - Sludge Central

“Temptation Is a Part of Life…” and It Made Me Buy Pebbles Boulders

Posted on September 29, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Tasty cereal is like a great song. It can be enjoyed again and again. Although, just recently, a great song came to mind after eating an atrocious cereal. In the 1991 dance pop song “Temptation,” Corina sang the lyrics “Temptation is a part of life, it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right.” Back then its classic club beats brought many people onto dance floors, but if there was a dance club in my mouth, Pebbles Boulders turned my taste buds into wallflowers.

In the summer, on my friend Greg’s site Half Assed Productions, I saw that Fruity Pebbles released yet another spin-off cereal. This came a long time after the release of 2010’s disappointing Marshmallow Pebbles. Those would’ve been better if they were Marshmallow FRUITY Pebbles, but instead they failed because they offered a weird tasting vanilla/graham flavor pebble.

Giving into temptation is what the song is about and it’s exactly what I did when I was at Shop-Rite the other night. I bought a box of Pebbles Boulders. Why, Why, Why did I do this? Why is it that I continuously fall for limited release food gimmicks? Slap “For a Limited Time” or “Limited edition” and my curiosity gets the better of me. Most times I think to myself “This flavor is probably so incredible that they would sell out of it so fast so they could only produce limited quantities…NEED TO BUY.” We all know that limited edition cereals are rarely as good as their original counterparts, but somehow I fall for them anyway knowing they will most likely SUCK!

With a flavor such as stone age caramel apple, I thought it sounded original enough that it could be good. I thought about how many cereals have been apple flavored aside from Apple Jacks and Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, and there hasn’t been too many, at least on my local store shelves. In the end, I brought home the Boulders and tried a bowl. It’s hard to believe just how heinous the flavor is. They taste like ass, ketchup, and caramel apples all smashed up in a dirty gym sock. Apologies to the food flavor innovator who formulated this one. It’s too bad because Boulders is a great name for a spin-off Fruity Pebbles. And Fred Flintstone looked so convincing of their deliciousness on the front of the box.

On a side note, ever since I was a kid I have been continually disappointed by cereals, especially limited editions. I know many of you remember the Batman cereal that came out after the 1989 Batman movie. That was just Captain Crunch in bat-shapes! Then the Ghostbusters and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cereals both failed to impress me, but with further forced consumption I grew more fond of them. Not having that instant love affair with a certain cereal meant that they really weren’t that impressive. Gone are the days of my favorite cereals ever: Strawberry Shortcake (yes I’m a dude), Smurfberry Crunch, E.T, and C3P0’s. Cereal companies would make a TON of people happy if they dug up the recipes for these and re-released them. Permanently.

Scarfin’ It With The Armpit 4: Hoboken Restaurants and Fruity Pebbles

Posted on March 30, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Slow Roasted Beet and Crispy Warm Goat Cheese Salad at 3Forty Grill in Hoboken

As a belated birthday trip Miss Sexy Armpit and I stayed at the ultra swank W Hotel in Hoboken and also ate at a couple of excellent restaurants. Dinner at the 3Forty Grill was fantastic and breakfast (brunch as they refer to it) at Bin 14.

Char Grilled 10 oz. Filet Mignon

3Forty Grill’s menu is packed with creative dishes. We decided to go crazy and share a salad and an appetizer before our entree. We chose the slow roasted beet and crispy warm goat cheese salad which, thanks to their online menu, featured “frisee, candied walnuts, caramelized apples, and sherry viniagrette.” For the appetizer we went with the ridiculously tasty creamy truffle mac n’ cheese fritters which also contained “black forest ham, sriracha aioli.” I’m not really a steak guy but I had a good feeling about the Char Grilled 10 oz. Filet Mignon which is described on their menu as follows: “topped with applewood smoked bacon, blue cheese and glazed shallots, sour cream and chive whipped potatoes, almond french beans, steak sauce butter.” Everything was outstanding. As you can see in the picture, their presentation is equally as good as their food.

If you feel like splurging a little, give the 3Forty Grill a shot. I suggest waiting until it gets dark because the lighting inside the dining area combined with the waterfront view of Manhattan creates a modern, romantic ambiance.

Trying to get into one of Hoboken’s notable pancake houses, Stacks, on a Sunday morning was a gigantic pain in the ass. The line was almost out the door. I’m not one to wait on long lines, especially considering that I don’t even really like pancakes all that much. I just wanted some damn breakfast! Then we discovered there was an hour wait at The Turning Point, so we walked over to Washington Street and waltzed into Bin 14 after seeing their “brunch” sign. To me, brunch is such an absurd word. Do they really think I’m going to tell my readers that I had “brunch?”

Bin 14 is primarily known as a wine bar, but it also has a delicious ~~brunch~~ breakfast. We ordered eggs any style with bacon and potatoes and it was freaking awesome. Something was different about this order of bacon and eggs. You can get that stuff anywhere, but this was not like getting it from a diner. This was one of the best breakfasts I’ve ever had. The best part was, I didn’t feel 40 pounds heavier after eating it either, much like I do when I leave a diner or Perkins.

Next up is my latest snackquisition. Yes I just coined that word! Use it and mention The Sexy Armpit! What kind of a wild goose chase would it be if these babies weren’t the end result? Ever since I saw the commercial for these Fruity Pebbles Treats I’ve wanted them so bad. Finally, after infiltrating every grocery store in New Jersey, I was able to get my hands on both the original and Cocoa versions, and they were so worth it. Think Rice Krispie treats only substitute Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles.

Yoo-hoo vs. Nesquik (Vote for Your Favorite at the End of the Post)

Posted on July 14, 2009 by sexyarmpit

What comes to mind when you hear the word Yoo-hoo? All I hear is Janosz Poha interrupting poor Oscar’s sleepy time when he dropped by Dana Barret’s apartment unexpectedly. “YOO-HOO!” What a jerkoff. Only if he came bearing gifts, such as a six pack of cold delicious Yoo-hoo in glass bottles then he’d be forgiven.

Recently a few coworkers and I got into a heated debate as to which chocolate beverage is better, Nesquik or Yoo-hoo. If you’re one of the folks out there who thinks “milk was a bad choice,” then you may not enjoy chocolate milk to begin with. In that case you may take a pro-Yoo-hoo stance since it’s not technically full fledged chocolate milk, but “drink.” During my days of lunchboxes and brown paper bagged lunches, a Yoo-hoo drink box was always there to bring my mouth some chocolatey happiness. The one characteristic of Yoo-hoo that I’ve always enjoyed over typical chocolate milk is that it never felt like it weighed me down, it wasn’t thick and creamy like drinking a can of paint. Yoo-hoo’s lighter consistency helped broaden its drinkability to more situations than your average chocolate milk.

Yoo-hoo’s origin goes way back to the 1920’s when Natale Olivieri and his family sold his Tru-Fruit beverages out of their grocery store in New Jersey. Soon, Olivieri came up with a method of making chocolate flavored drinks that never went bad thanks to a special bottling process that eliminated spoilage. So if you have old Yoo-hoo in your pantry, if it’s sealed it will never go bad! Boosting it’s stock even more, Yoo-hoo sticks to its Jersey roots as it operates a plant in Carlstadt, NJ.

Here’s one of my favorite Yoo-hoo commercials from the ’80s. It was pretty cheesy then, but now it’s classic.

As far as nutrition goes, Yoo-hoo offers more vitamins and minerals than Nesquik. In that contest, Yoo-hoo wins 7-5. Nesquik contains saturated fat and cholesterol while Yoohoo has ZERO in those categories. For the health conscious, Yoo-hoo is the better choice. Like Nesquik, Yoo-hoo offers a variety of flavors in addition to chocolate, but they are more of a challenge to find considering the hunt you need to embark on to find plain, original Yoo-hoo.

Baseball fans may jump on the Yoo-hoo bandwagon since legends Mickey Mantle and Yogi Berra have both hawked the drink. Simpsons loyalists know what Yoo-hoo is all about since Yoo-hoo promoted a sweepstakes in 2003 featuring The Simpsons, one of America’s longest running primetime shows.

For those who do consider artery clogging, mucilaginous milk to be refreshing, well there was always Nesquik or as I remember it…Quik. Can you even remember a time when Nestle wasn’t so egomaniacal that they didn’t feel the need to muscle their companies name into one of their products? It wasn’t until 1999 that Nestle Quik became Nesquik in the U.S and several other countries. Personally, I was fine with calling it Nestle’s Quik, I think it sounded better. Nesquik offers strawberry and vanilla varieties, and it’s still available in the classic powder mix.

Nowadays, Nesquik is widely associated with its yellow plastic bottles found in the refrigerated sections of 7-11’s and Quick Chek’s. Although, if you grew up in the ’70s or ’80s then you’re probably more familiar with mixing Quik powder into a glass of milk. Dane Cook’s bit about Nestle Quik’s “powdery magma” exploding in his face, and being all “hopped up on the Q” really sums up its appeal to children. My mom was always apprehensive to allow me to mix up some Quik, because something in her head told her it would be a disastrous event. She was usually right.

Points go to Nesquik for having a fairly cool bunny mascot. In a ridiculous move, the Quik bunny used to wear a “Q” on his shirt now wears an “N” to stand for Nesquik. The shit is still Quik!!! The f–king bunny needs a Q! The Nesquik Bunny also appears on the front of the Nesquik Cereal box which is something else Yoo-hoo doesn’t offer consumers. Nesquik cereal ain’t too shabby. Even if it’s similar to Cocoa Puffs, it’s got smaller balls, cocoa balls that is. Smaller balls aren’t the only indication that Nesquik cereal is basically a Cocoa Puffs knockoff, Sonny, the Cuckoo Bird is 50,000 times more insane that the non-threatening Quik Bunny. Talk about hopped up on the Q!

If you’re still undecided as to who should win this grudge match, take a further look at some Yoo-hoo and Nesquik related links:

OK so, I’ll admit that Yoo-hoo is lacking in the cool mascot department, especially one who happens to be really good at Atari and goes on adventures with Superman. Yoo-hoo has a lot of catching up to do in that category. May I suggest Dr. Janosz Poha?

Yoo-hoo’s official page

Creative Loafing’s blog The Daily Loaf has a fine post on how to make “The Hooville Martini,” a delicious sounding alcoholic concoction that incorporates Yoo-hoo.

Shawn Robare’s modern masterpiece at Branded in the ’80s: his discovery of what’s written on the underside of Yoo-hoo’s cardboard packing, its eventual conspiracy theory and the comic book it inspired.

Retro Planet’s Character of the week all about the Nestle Quik Bunny

5 Reasons Yoo-hoo Rocks My Socks, by Ken Tuccio

The Nesquik Bunny’s Bobblehead and plush doll

Nesquik’s official page

One of Quik’s best commercials, the bunny’s all strung out:

Blue Milk & The Technicolor Twilight Zone

Posted on July 2, 2009 by sexyarmpit

I’m a big supporter of writers and journalism in general but the article pictured above from the April 2009 issue of Family Fun Magazine is pretty damn awful. Absurd as a matter of fact. Linda Ann Daffron from Ramsey, NJ offers a “magical” prank for the kids in the family to try, most likely on one of their parents, (whichever one ISN’T reading the article and explaining to them how to pull it off). Here’s the short version of the directions 1) Get a cereal bowl and squeeze a few drops of food coloring into the bowl (blue food coloring pictured) 2) Pour dry cereal into the bowl and then once the unsuspecting schmuck pours milk into the cereal bowl they’ll have a bowl full of blue milk to surprise them. Is putting food coloring in a cereal bowl really that big of a trick, oh wait sorry, a “deliciously deceptive ruse?” Family Fun Magazine clearly thinks it is.

Here’s how the prank may unfold: “OH MY GOD! MY EFFING MILK IS BLUE!!! I feel totally PUNKED right now! I hope you didn’t videotape my reaction because I would’ve literally gone into massive seizures.” Will the family member really think they entered a “Technicolor Twilight Zone?” Wow, I want to enter that zone in a bad way. I thought I actually was there for a short period of time back in the mid ’90s when every stoner was trying their best to bring back tie-dye shirts. Just a hunch, but whoever wrote this one up must not be at all familiar with Boo Berry (it’s only existed for over 35 years), and it’s also safe to assume they missed the boat on Superman Crunch. These two offerings are examples of cereals that turn your milk blue without the assistance of food coloring. It’s a much easier world we live in, one where we don’t need no stinkin’ food coloring to turn our milk blue.

C’mon Linda, give me a break, you couldn’t do any better than that? Are you even a real person? Writers occasionally like to make up names and places in order to give the impression of realism. After you read the article it seems as if FAMILY FUN is getting a half ton of reader mail (or a kajillion as I’ve been referring to it as lately). People must be clamoring like maniacs to throw in their two cents on what wacky prank should be spotlighted next month. I actually feel bad ripping the mag, but can they really expect us to believe that parents and other fully grown human beings aren’t aware of the basic concept of food coloring? It’s not like 3 year old Tyler is going to be skimming microfiche machines for old periodicals that may help him cook up his next whimsical caper.

And as for our New Jersey friend Linda, stop trying to reinvent the wheel OK? Next thing you know you’ll be telling us we could use food coloring to dye Easter eggs, now that would just be a downright insult because we all know that’s utterly impossible. Are the folks in Ramsey, NJ not being kept busy enough in their lives that they have time to send in these radtacular ideas? I hope to Zod that Linda doesn’t go around to her weekly social gatherings spewing out little tricks for the kids to do. I got news for you Linda, you’re making people’s lives completely miserable. Oh, you know I’m just kidding with you Lind, you’re awesome…you just have too much damn time on your hands.

A Closer Look:

As you can see, the wacky multicolored font used in the word PRANKS, and the white “A” and exclamation mark, seem to signify that things are a little off kilter. There’s that little rambunctious kid in the circle (possibly a neighbor who we think has no family), not sure if its a boy or a girl, but does it really matter? Whatever their sex is, they are clearly rascally and live for getting into trouble and hijinks (one can assume this thanks to the obligatory head nod/eye wink combo…believe me, you don’t want to be on the receiving end of one of these or you may have flashbacks to films like Problem Child or Home Alone). Even “Gotcha!” is spelled out as if the wicked head nod/eye wink combo didn’t overly explain that one enough. On a completely unrelated note, why did they decide that the traditionally white speech balloon should now be orange? Is it just because they’re all about color coordination with silly Billy’s polo shirt he’s rocking? Maybe that was a prank too! Uh-oh, here comes Linda with her good ol’ Photoshop pranks! Prank #1: How to turn your speech bubble ORANGE!

To all the dairy companies out there: End this Magic Milk Bowl bullshit once and for all. Skip the middle man (food coloring) and finally market Blue Milk or Blue Skim Milk (for those of us in Jedi training). It seems like a no brainer to me. Hey George Lucas, could you pass up a mutually beneficial partnership with a dairy company to sell a nutritious drink for all us Star Wars nerds to gulp down? Tuscan Dairy, and Parmalat are you listening?

Grocery Store Gluttony

Posted on September 29, 2008 by sexyarmpit

I often go on “kicks.” Occasionally it’s a Dorito kick, other times its a certain energy drink. Whatever the ingestable item is, it’s usually way overloaded with carbs and calories and it isn’t vital to maintaining my body’s daily functions. But what’s life without it’s little treats, right? I really just think I have a “Hi My Name is Sucker” sticker tattooed above my left pectoral. I feel myself blowing up into a fat blubbery mess rapidly as I write this post; the calories are even making the words gain weight. Remember how Audrey engorged herself in National Lampoon’s European Vacation? Well, call me Audrey Griswold and today I’ll show you what I’ve been stuffing my face with.

After my recent flight to Vegas, I immediately found myself a new early morning obsession. And NO…it’s not New Multi-Grain Masturbate-O’s so get that out of your head! Airplane food is supposed to suck, but on this trip a breakfast epiphany came in the shape of a neat travel sized package of Honey Nut Chex. It was one of those plastic packages where I peeled back the plastic covering, poured the milk right in and I was ready to go. The only time I ever eat Chex is when I’m at a family gathering and my aunt has Chex mix in a bowl. These Honey Nut Chex were a whole different facet of the Chex experience. They made my morning and from that moment I knew had to go on one of my obsession bent shopping sprees to obtain as many varieties of Chex as I could. Since then, my mouth has been enjoying my morning mistress named Honey Nut Chex. Where have they been all my life? Screw Multi-Grain Masturbate-O’s I hear they make you go blind!

Pringles are highly addictive. It’s my theory that their texture has much to do with their popularity. They are crunchy, yet soft at the same time. The variety of flavors offered by Pringles is also another one of their strong points. You might walk into your chip aisle in the store and find up to 6 versions of Pringles. Just the fact that I have that type of choice turns me on. I could hate their product but I would still be completely in love with the idea that I could choose from Chili Cheese, Jalepeno, or Loaded Baked Potato. I don’t fuck with any of those even though they’re no doubt luscious.

While in Vegas I spent $10 for a side of guacamole with my tortilla chips at The Border Grill at Mandalay Bay. Upon my return to the armpit I bought a whole canister of pringles that combined chips and the flavor of guacamole all for around 2 bucks. These chips are a light green color and taste just like guacamole. So forget about having your wallet raped at some Mexican restaraunt when you can go to the store and buy a can of Pringles. I should go back and mention this to them when they offer me guacamole and don’t bother to tell me that they’re going to charge me $10 bucks for it! Rat bastards.

The Soda Wars are an eternal discussion between my friends, family, and I. I don’t know what it is but Soda always incites such a debate. People feel so passionate about their bubbly beverages that they’ll fight to the deaths for them! You’d think Coca-Cola was some sort of messiah. Don’t fuck with fervent fans of Coke and Pepsi because the argument will get you nowhere. For some reason people just get confused when you tell them you’re favorite soda is Dr. Pepper. The DP has always been my favorite soda, even though I did commit a few adulteries with Mountain Dew when I couldn’t stay up studying for those exams back in college. I remember when I was very young and I first had my taste of Soda, Coca-Cola was the only brand I knew of. Naturally that was the only one I asked for until I was finally able to taste Dr. Pepper. As I got older and started shying away from such sugary, syrupy concoctions, I began to prefer Pepsi over Coke if I was forced to make the decision.

Nowadays I try not to drink soda unless it’s the only thing available, Pepsi has released a soda that may very well be exactly what I needed in a soft drink. I’ve tried to end my reliance on energy drinks, and I feel guilty downing regular soda so Diet Pepsi Max has filled the void. It’s taste is so close to real Pepsi that I couldn’t believe it! The fact that the drink also features a jolt of caffeine and ginseng is just an added bonus. If the prescenece of caffeine doesn’t bother you then consider that Diet Pepsi Max is the way Diet Pepsi should taste. As for the jolt of energy, and even with all of the double shots of Amp and Monster that I’ve gulped down, Diet Pepsi Max leaves you off with a slight euphoric feeling. I’m not saying you’re going to run around hugging people, but there’s a definite nice low key buzz without the jitters.

Fuze has a refreshing line of beverages including my preference the Green Tea with honey and ginseng. Somehow it contains 2 servings of vegetables the all important yerba mate. I’ve never heard of yerba mate but it seems to be the latest in trendy foreign plants that may yeild possible health benefits such as stress relief and colon cleansing. Fuze Green Tea also all throws in all that fancy stuff like polyphenols, antioxidants, folic acid, and a plethora of vitamins which may or may not have any effect on me but sound important. In another amazin feat, Fuze also markets versions that claim to help you lose weight, give you energy, refresh your sorry ass, balance your check book, and help you win at poker.

Recently, I was on an Ice Breakers Lemon Iced Tea kick, and I still am, although I found a new variety (pictured above) that are also enjoyable. Watermelon was the grabber for me in this variety pack but I also enjoy the Pink Lemonade flavor. These Ice Breakers turn sour in your mouth so if you’re into that kind of thing then give them a try.

The act of stealing food from a child may be called despicable, but swiping a child’s Scooby Snacks is just plain wrong. I’m kidding, I didn’t steal them, I was bestowed an entire box of individual packages of Scooby Snacks! My mom bought them for my niece and nephew and they didn’t like them so I hit the jackpot. I’ve always been a big fan of Scooby and graham crackers so baking them in the shape of a dog bone and selling them as Scooby snacks is a smooth move on Keebler’s part. There’s been a few different versions of Scooby Snacks on the market but these are the best.

If there’s any other items you’d think I should add to my grocery shopping list please let me know in the comments!

What’s In My Cart at Wal-Mart?

Posted on July 23, 2008 by sexyarmpit

I usually hesitate before I write a post about a Dorito flavor. I know everyone and their father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate’s going to post about it. I try my best not to write about what everyone else is writing about (excluding The Dark Knight of course!) even if that means I won’t be getting as many hits. You can ignore all that though because I’m about to contradict myself.
PIZZA and RANCH? Holy crap. This was another instance of me walking through the aisles at Wal-Mart and actually having my eyes bulge out of my sockets like Roger Rabbit. What’s my policy when first noticing a new Doritos flavor? BUY 2. I’m better off because with my luck I’ll love them and go back to the store to buy more and find out that the “limited editionness” of them wasn’t actually a ploy. There’s always a chance they may become extinct from shelves so always buy 2!!! Unless they’re Mountain Dew flavor, then you may as well feed both packages to the Pigeons and let them have their Epiphany day where their messiah is scattered all over the ground. To them, all they’ll see is a a luscious, glowing, triangular nacho chip speckled with radioactive dust.

I’m definitely one of those people who considers themselves a Doritos connoisseur. Believe it or not I know a few people who despise Doritos. I don’t know how you can’t like them! Personally, I don’t enjoy regular, greasy potato chips. They don’t turn me into one of those wild and crazay guys like the Doritos do.

I’d say these are my definite favorite out of the Doritos Collisions Line. Zesty Taco/Chipotle Ranch come in a close second and 3rd place would be the Hot Wings and Blue Cheese. In the Pizza Cravers/Ranch scenario the pizza flavor tastes much like the last time they showed up in the late ‘90s. If you never tasted them the seasoning is very similar to Pizzarias! Remember them? Now they kicked ass! Do they actually taste like pizza? Well maybe if you think really hard, close your eyes…oh and it may work better if you’re under the influence of a hallucinogen. The Ranch flavor actually tasted more appealing to me than the classic Cool Ranch. They’re Cool Ranch minus the COOL, because they’re just so smooth. They’re like a blanket made of ranch flavored velvet. Pizza Cravers and Ranch make a great combination of flavors. Apparently there’s a cult of people who dip their pizza crust in ranch dressing. I don’t have a membership card to that crew but hey, go for it! I’ll stick to the Doritos! BUY 2!

What did I conquer next? A couple of hot chicks on a cereal box. OK, so I admitted to playing with Barbie’s when I was a kid…but it was only ONCE OK? I figured since I did write about the piece of ass Barbie dolls that are on store shelves, then it’s almost a requirement that I pick these up:

I really couldn’t resist. I’m still on a quest to find a cereal that tastes like Oops! All Berries, which are quite possibly the best cereal ever made since Smurfberry Crunch. Since those 2 Godsends disappeared, I’ve never tasted anything so good. In the back of my head I can only hope they taste halfway decent. That will make up for me having a box of “limited edition” Barbie cereal in my shopping cart. I “manned” up my cart though, don’t worry. I threw in some Mach 3 Turbo razors, and Salsa. That’s a man’s pickup! I also had some night lights so mixed with the Barbie cereal that could either mean I’m a total pussy and afraid of the dark, or I have a little daughter who’s been having nightmares and I’m showing concern for her by buying her limited edition multi grain breakfast cereal. Neither one is true, I just yearned for a good cereal that would bring me back to…yeah…I’m gonna say it: Yesteryear. lol.

I JUST OPENED THE BOX…

Like the Target lady played by Kristen Wiig on SNL says HOORAY! My deduction was correct, this Barbie cereal is amazing! If you were a fan of Oops! all Berries then you will enjoy this because it has a very similar taste, PLUS marshmallows and two hot chicks on the front of the box! You can’t go wrong so THANK YOU BARBIE LIMITED EDITION MULTI GRAIN CEREAL WITH MARSHMALLOWS! You saved us! The Sexy Armpit says BUY 2!

So, have you had any whacked out purchases lately?

Rescued Marshmallows Swim to Freedom

Posted on September 7, 2007 by sexyarmpit

If last weekend’s kitchen disaster was any indication, I can’t imagine what’s going to happen this weekend. Let’s recap. Saturday morning I was still on a high from seeing Halloween, and the sun was shining. I woke up and took a few half full cereal boxes out to see if I could make some room. I broke out some Crunchberries and a box of Franken Berry.

I really despise Frankenberry. I know, I know, its sacrilegious. It’s just one of those cereals that always enticed me in the store and when I actually bring them home and start eating them I wonder why I keep buying them every year. The same thing happens with Boo Berry except with a deeper level of abhorrence. I’m just mesmerized by the packaging and the art on the box. The characters from that particular General Mills line of cereals are the best but the taste of Count Chocula is the only one that actually lives up to it’s reputation.

Right now I’m just thinking of how cool it is that we have a classic line of cereal that’s based on monsters. I’m very character oriented and I appreciate silly advertising mascots such as the Burger King, Noid, and of course Mrs. Butterworth’s especially when she’s coming alive informing me of how thick she is and telling me that I should pour her on my waffles. Breakfast food mascots have always rocked and they were a major part of my childhood. But all praise aside I need to get back to bashing the awful Frankeberry. How can a cereal that looks so cool taste so horrible? I suppose it’s a bit suspect that even as a child I was attracted to a cereal that was pink. That can’t be the reason for it sucking so much because Strawberry Shortcake Cereal was undeniably the greatest cereal ever invented and it was awarded the medal of honor for cereals by God. After he tasted it he personally spat in Purple Pie Man’s face and said to him that if he didn’t rebut Strawberry Shortcake’s cereal supremacy with a grape version of his own then his Pie Tin Palace would be foreclosed on and the land would be used as a golf course. But that’s just particulars, I heard it was messy trial – Pie EVERYWHERE.

To conclude this bumper car crash of an entry, I wound up rummaging through the box of Frankeberry extracting every luscious dried marshmallow that was left in the box and dropping them into my happy bowl of Crunchberries. It was a sensational breakfast event for me. I broke all breakfast rules and had my awesome little marshmallows swim to freedom. This moment would only be trumped if I saw the return of one of the following:

1) Strawberry Shortcake Cereal
2) Oops! All Berries
2) Smurfberry Crunch
3) C3Po’s
4) E.T cereal
5) Pac-Man Cereal
6) Rocky Road Cereal

Apparently this site sells boxes of Cereal Marshmallows only…not Cereal with Marshmallows…just the cereal-style marshmallows in a box. That’s pretty awesome. Hmm…tomorrow’s pay day. Just Got Paid…Friday Night…Marshmallow Huntin‘…Feelin‘ Right.

I like my milk BLUE, bitch…

Posted on June 23, 2006 by sexyarmpit

How come I seem to be the only person on earth totally pumped that there exists Superman Capn’ Crunch? I bought it about a week ago without hesitation. It’s awesome. It turns the milk blue. Anything that will give me blue milk like Aunt Beru was pouring in A New Hope is definitely for me. While I’m at it, I have to commend the Capn’ Crunch line of breakfast cereal, it’s always came through for me. Having a Superman tie-in makes it even cooler. With all the early feedback surrounding the movie being positive it just freakin’ pumps me up.