Rock of Ages Nominated for 5 Tony Awards!

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Among the several Tony nominations for Broadway’s Rock of Ages, Wyckoff, NJ (home of the Jonas Brothers) native and Ramapo High School alum Constantine Maroulis is nominated for Best Performance by a Lead Actor in a Musical! Good Luck to ROA! Tune in tonight (8 PM Eastern on CBS hosted by Neil Patrick Harris) to see if it wins and check out a performance by its cast members and Poison!

If you haven’t heard of the musical and you’re interested in seeing the show, read The Sexy Armpit’s review here:

Rock of Ages Melts Broadway’s Face Off!

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If David Coverdale says you’re a dick, then you probably are. In my estimation, you’ve got to be an idiot not to immediately rip the silly bluetooth off your ear after hearing a concise, eloquently spoken admonishment by the lead singer of such rock classics as “Here I Go Again,” “Still of the Night,” and “Slow and Easy.” If I may, in this review I’ll attempt to use Mr. Coverdale’s professional sounding articulation while expressing my thoughts on the musical Rock of Ages, that I witnessed on April 4th, 2009 in New York City. IT’S AN ’80s ROCK EXTRAVAGANZA NOW PLAYING AT THE BROOKS ATKINSON THEATRE IN NEW YORK CITY!!! Sorry, I admit, that was completely out of hand and uncalled for. I won’t let it happen again.
In no time, the nostalgic musical Rock of Ages went from “off Broadway” to being the best thing going on Broadway. (Click here for my review the off-Broadway ROA show) If you were lucky enough to see the show in it’s inception, you’ll be pleased to know that it still contains all of the “kick assery” of it’s original run…um…I mean, of course, that it’s essence has remained in tact. Our favorite joint on the Sunset Strip, The Bourbon Room, is being threatened to be demolished by evil developers who obviously don’t like to ROCK. Well, F#*$ THOSE MOTHERF—ERS!! Thankfully, my favorite fictional rock song “Beaver Hunt” was not compromised. RIGHT ON MOTHERF—ERS!  Wait, what am I saying?!?! I apologize for that off color outburst, how rude of me? As I was saying, I experienced feelings of absolute elation when I got to hear “Beaver Hunt” once again, and bless you if it’s your first time. Just hearing those few seconds of the song is worth the price of admission alone. There’s still enough Arby’s references to fill the catering carts up with a lifetime supply of Chicken Bacon & Swiss sandwiches. OK OK WE GET IT! THE WRITER’S OF THE SHOW WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO ARBY’S! …oh…I did it again. Shame on me.
HOW COULD YOU EVER MODIFY SUCH AN AWESOME SHOW? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE PRODUCERS? Ahhh. Deep breath. Exhale. Pop some Xanax. The cast of the original run of Rock of Ages was unstoppable and distinct. Only a couple of characters have been recast in an effort to re-tool the show for it’s Broadway run. Decisions regarding the cast, some plot points, and choreography have made the show more comical, hence it’s billing as a MUSICAL COMEDY. People love “the funny” so that’s always a WIN, but the play had more realism in it’s original form. Depending on what you want out of your Broadway productions, the latest incarnation of Rock of Ages still delivers “The Best of Both Worlds” and that wasn’t meant to be a Van Hagar reference, but now you’re stuck with it.
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I DIDN’T F&!%$N VOTE FOR THIS GUY WHEN HE WAS ON AMERICAN IDOL SO WHY THE F&%$ SHOULD I WATCH HIM IN A BROADWAY PLAY? OK, now I think I’m just developing coprolalia. The reason why you haven’t been completely sold on Constantine Maroulis is because you haven’t seen him belt out fiery tunes like Twisted Sister’s “I Wanna Rock,” Steve Perry’s “Oh Sherrie,” and Foreigner’s ‘I’ve Been Waiting for a Girl Like You.” Clearly you MUST experience Maroulis’ character Drew putting some of his hilarious moves on his love interest. 3 words: Berry Wine Coolers.
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To fill the colossal shoes of the talented Kelli Barrett, Amy Spanger takes over the role of Drew’s love interest, Sherrie. Spanger was superb as Sherrie but the character has changed since the off Broadway run. Her character has become almost entirely comedic which makes replacing Barrett with Spanger like removing Natalie Portman in favor of Anna Faris. They’re both skilled actresses, but in different ways. Spanger plays Sherrie as an airhead with big dreams of L.A., while Barrett’s Sherrie was innocent, torn, and confused (cue up Night Ranger’s “Sister Christian”). Similar to many young girls back in the ’80s with big dreams, Barrett’s Sherrie looked to the Sunset Strip as a haven that could solve her problems and bring her happiness. Her aspirations begin to burn out when she realizes the Strip doesn’t make dreams, in fact, more often than not, it breaks them. Spanger’s Sherrie elicits more laughs as a dumb blonde who is never sullen for too long, even when she’s reduced to working as a dancer at a seedy strip club.
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As Stacee Jaxx, lead singer of the fictional band Arsenel, James Carpinello manages to slam home his performance in a role that was so perfectly created by the great Will Swenson.  Jaxx is the quintessential egomaniacal ’80s LEAD ATTENTION WHORE, ahem…I mean singer who sucks up every bit of the spotlight he can. Meanwhile, several other vital cast members have returned in addition to Maroulis.  The animated Mitchell Jarvis owns the play as Lonny, the narrator and all around insti”gay”tor. His one liners are expertly delivered, his facial expressions are priceless, and his nunchucking abilities are first rate. Also making his return as Dennis, owner of The Bourbon Room, is Adam Dannheisser, the lovely Angel Reed as the jail bait groupie, Lauren Molina as Regina (ryhmes with Vagina), Wesley Taylor as the light in the loafers Franz, and Jeremy Woodard as Joey Primo who looks like a Vegas Legends version of Nikki Sixx.
Aside from the Poison/Cheap Trick/Def Leppard package tour this summer, where else can you rock out this much? The ROA soundtrack is comprised of mega popular rock tunes that merge seamlessly together with the action creating a swift pace that will leave you anxious to see it again. Like a tractor beam, Joel Hoekstra of the band shreds his guitar like a madman, pulling us back from our beer and bathroom break. To further create the concert atmosphere, there were numerous occasions when the audience waved a couple of hundred LED lighters back and forth during Poison’s “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn,” Extreme’s “More Than Words,” and Mr. Big’s “To Be With You.” I assure you that you will not have a more rocking time on Broadway or anywhere else for that matter! Can Waiting For Godot, Blithe Spirit, and Next to Normal take you “High Enough?” I think not. Avoid the package tours that are past their prime and make plans to see the stellar cast of Rock of Ages MELT YOUR FU–ING FACE OFF!!! You know what? This time I’m not sorry! (cue Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again”)
Rock of Ages
Brooks Atkinson Theatre
256 W. 47th Street
New York City

The Beastie Boys: From White Castle to the Nile? Scratch That. New Jersey!

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Have you ever wondered what the correlation is between The Beastie Boys, South Orange, Slyders, and Secaucus? No? Well, I’m going to explain it anyway!

Aside from White Castle references that make Harold and Kumar feel inadequate, The Beastie Boys are also associated with NJ. Not only was Adam Horovitz a.k.a King Adrock born in South Orange NJ, but the Beastie Boys also refer to the NJ town of Secaucus in 2 of their songs:
“We’re from Manhattan, You’re from Secaucus”
Rock Hard
“You’re From Secaucus – I’m from Manhattan”
The New Style
In addition to geographical name drops, sprinkled throughout the lyrics of the album, the Beasties make their lust for the mini burgers abundantly clear. It’s unbelievable how many people from around the world first heard of White Castle through listening to The Beastie Boys’ debut album License to Ill. Just type it in a Google search and you’ll see what I mean! Plateoftheday.com, a food blog, claims that “White Castle burgers if you don’t know, were first made popular by a Beastie Boys song back in the ’80s.” All I can say is…wow. If giving each person in the world the power to go on the Internet means granting them permission to spew such innacurate and outrageous comments, then I say people like that need a License to Internet
BTW, Even though they were founded in 1921, NJ is one of only 11 states that have White Castle restaurants. Such a pity for the other 39 states! Now If you’ll excuse me, I’m about to grab two girlies and a beer that’s cold…

New York Comic Con ’09 Part 2

I only walked a few blocks from the parking garage to the Javitz Center, but I froze my baguettes off! Frozen innards and frostbitten digits were a small price to pay for the opportunity to schmooze with like minded individuals. There’s something about geek society; whether it’s talking comics, trading links to websites, or discussing the pros and cons of the new G.I Joe film, it makes you feel like you belong.

After the lingering Comic Con buzz, going back to work and hangin’ and bangin’ at the gym was a real bitch. I’ll be honest, I’m running on fumes. So far today I’ve downed an energy drink AND a medium iced coffee – black, but somehow, it’s just not enough. JUST NOW, I took the precaution of gulping down this Health energy potion that the people from Mana Potions booth gave me to test out.

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Let’s hope I’m not up for the next 5 hours since I’ll need at least a few hours of sleep so I can be relatively coherent for work tomorrow. The cool little bottle is definitely eye catching. When I stopped by their booth, the blue and red varieties nearly glowing through the clear bottles made me feel like I was in a video game and just found a “power up” potion. (Their motto happens to be Replenish or Perish!) The scantily clad Mana girls did a decent job enticing me as well. The Health potion has tons of vitamins, folic acid, and even biotin which has numerous health benefits. Even though it tastes only a step above children’s liquid cough medicine, I was in it for the “energy” portion of the potion. The formula which includes ginseng, caffeine, taurine, amino acids, elderberry juice, and other ingredients gives the formula it’s “get up and go.” I can ignore its medicinal taste and syrupy consistency as long as it works. It’s been a few minutes and I’m not feeling tired or jittery, but pretty good. I’ll let you know if I crash by the end of the article.

 

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I met Christof Laputka at the Leviathan Chronicles booth. Headphones were set up in the booth to listen to installments of his science fiction audio saga. Christof’s quite the renaissance man. He’s gone from Wall Street to traveling the world, and he’s not ashamed to hide the fact that he’s a just a geek at heart. As a kid he grew up obsessing over Science-Fiction shows like Battlestar Galactica. Christoff described his aural creation to me as a throwback to old time radio shows, which thanks to my dad, I grew up listening to. I’m sure there’s a ton of people out there who have no idea what it was like to tune the old Philco radio and listen to Inner Sanctum, The Lone Ranger, The Green Hornet, etc. Through cassette tapes he ordered from a mail order old time radio catalog, my Dad introduced a young impressionable Armpit into the “theater of the mind,” and I appreciate that he did.

I popped The Leviathan Chronicles CD into my car stereo on my way to work and really got into it. I commend Christof for taking the chance to release this series; what better time than now? Everyone has an iPod or an mp3 player and FREE, high quality content is hard to come by. It seems like a no brainer and I hope the Leviathan chronicles gains a large following because that would open the door for Christof to produce other audio adventures. There’s plenty of websites doing original fictional programs for download but I’m going to wager that they don’t have the production quality of the Leviathan Chronicles. A description in their press release sums up the scale of the production: “The cast includes over 40 voice actors, cutting edge sound effects, and an original musical score.” The soundtrack really does rock! Each show is free and ranges from 30-40 minutes. You can find it FREE at their website or on iTunes!
NJ at NY Comic Con!
While Making my way around Comic Con it was great to see so much New Jersey representation! Like I mentioned about others in part 1, Rob Feldman of Earworm Media (based out of Jersey!) is another guy, who turned out to be a phenomenal dude! Rob didn’t know me from a vampire hiding behind his booth, but once I discovered that we had New Jersey in common we had a few laughs and then he introduced me to his creation, Dr. Shroud.

 

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Robert even posed for a couple of photos. Here’s a priceless moment where Rob struck what he coined “The Sexy Armpit Pose,” that goes to show you that Rob was brave, and hands down the coolest guy in the entire Javitz Center that day!

 

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Shame on me for not knowing about Dr.Shroud already! It’s nearly impossible to keep up on EVERYTHING! When you have entire seasons of Dallas stored in YOUR brain, miss some things your radar will! Dr. Shroud is a radtastic animated series available on the Internet and mobile phones. Shroud is a plastic surgeon with a secret past as a reformed vampire. Shroud’s daughter gets kidnapped by vampires that lurk in the city of Necropolis. Shroud embraces his former vampiric ways to defeat the city’s evil creatures in his quest to track down his daughter. The animated series features stylish animation, a creepy atmosphere, and an awesome soundtrack! Rob gave me a cool set of Dr. Shroud fangs so I can act out scenes at home. Thanks Rob! You can watch full episodes at Joost:
Skullboy threw me for a loop when I saw how creepy he looked with his Misfits style face paint. I looked down and saw the all too familiar outline of NJ all over his table! There were t-shirts, stickers, and some killer skull art. All of a sudden, Skullboy reached his hand up and gave me one of his skullboy styled New Jersey stickers! That kicked ass!

 

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Skullboy is truly adding to the great art culture in New Jersey and spreading the infectious Jerseyana. In fact, he’s not only a dedicated artist, but he’s also an event organizer. Skullboy has been putting on shows that mix art and rock music all over the state. Here’s some of Skullboy’s creations:

 

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For show info go to myspace.com/theartofskullboy

To purchase his artwork, T-shirts, or stickers go to skullboy.net
Image comics: Jersey Gods!

 

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I literally had to stand and wait for a middle aged female newspaper reporter from the Star Ledger to finish her “interview” with Glen Brunswick, writer of Jersey Gods. It was clear that she had to have been given this assignment to tackle, because either her interview skills sucked ass or she was completely unfamiliar with anything comic book related aside from reading the Jersey Gods comic. I bet the Jersey Gods and Ziggy are the only comics she ever read in her life.
I’m standing there like Biff Tannen with my arms folded all cocky thinking “Well lookie what we have here…” some self important newspaper reporter trying to horn in on Comic Con. When I saw Jersey Gods for the first time I thought to myself “a match made in heaven!” It was as good as Macho Man and Elizabeth…a comic book filled with superheroes published by Image comics and it’s based in NEW JERSEY? It seems like it was created specifically for me to write about on this site.
If I could only get a word in edgewise. Every time Glen was about to cut over to me, she kept going and going with more irrelevant questions. She’s a wonderful, insightful, writer and I enjoy her articles, but I can’t say that I use the same interview style as she does. The whole situation made me feel uncomfortable. It felt like my 7th grade math teacher was interviewing a guy who WRITES AN IMAGE COMIC BOOK! It’s not supposed to happen! My mother interviewing Nikki Sixx would easily be 10,000 times more entertaining.
I’ve been reading comic books for over 25 years now, and for some reason I just felt protective of my passion. This lady had to pause and write notes on a pad every time Glen gave her a response! C’mon lady! Step into reality, we’re approaching the year 2010! We have digital voice recorders that can detect the sound of a pin dropping at a Gwar concert. Finally she finished momentarily with Glen and he directed his attention to ME! I explained to him what I do here at the Armpit and he was very enthusiastic about it. I mentioned that I’d like to review a copy for the site, so you can expect a full review here coming soon! Saturday morning rolled around, and sure as shit, as I was walked out of the gym I looked over on the Star Ledger rack, and staring back at me was a pic of Glen Brunswick and Dan McDaid at Comic Con with Amy Nutt’s interview. It made the front page!
Aside from the invasion of all of these “official” print/TV people, the Comic Con was just a great time. The legit press folks should stay out of comic con though. If you are a virgin do you go to watch the Rocky Horror Picture show at your local theater? I would advise not to. The majority of important news events only invite certified media and “prominent” bloggers, so why should we let them into our world? Bloggers, podcasters, vloggers, and all the other mavericky online criers are welcome at Comic Con. We gotta keep some shit to ourselves! I hate the mainstreaming of geek!
BTW: I didn’t crash. I feel energized but not shaky. Perhaps that Health potion is the real deal?

The Sexy Armpit @ New York Comic Con ’09 Part 1

It’s highly possible that a fanboy could very well “totally geek out” out at Comic-Con, it’s our form of cardiac arrest except it’s more emotional, ridiculous, and involves more girlish yelps. 

This was my first official Comic Con and it was exactly as exhilarating as I expected. John Malkovich, in one of my favorite SNL sketches from this season involving a calculator, had a line that’s become an oft used quote in my repertoire: “I’m going to need freak out control.” After surviving the natural disaster that is NYC traffic, the accident that was holding up the flow for several miles at my Turnpike exit, and the aberration of forgetting my iPod, (no tunes in the car!!!) I finally made it home. I was mentally and physically drained since I spent 6 hours trying to contain my excitement and actually put my “freak out control” into effect. Then there’s the fact that I lose my patience while driving, especially when navigating around Manhattan. FYI – KITT was no help at all. Scumbag. I did a shitload of walking, probably made my way through every aisle 2 – 3 times, and I was forced to eat some fairly awful empanada from a lemonade stand that was fresh out of lemonade. What can ya do? There wasn’t much to choose from at Comic Con in the food department but there were plenty of artists, cosplayers, and a ton of geeky new stuff to check out. Read on!

Lots of Video Game Previews!

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This is Jared Carr, art director for the upcoming DC Universe Online game was much more informative and cooler than the folks at the Ghostbusters video game preview. The specific reason I wanted a PS3 was to get the DCU game and fans have been waiting quite a long time for it. “We’re not discussing dates” Jared told me. WTF man? Give me a break, honestly. Comic Con wants the masses to come and visit all the latest products and kiosks, but if the game isn’t coming out anytime soon then what’s the sense on wasting a whole booth for it? If the makers of the game are trying to avoid setting a date only to have to push it back 3 times, that’s understandable. The burning question people want an answer to is WHEN will it come out!?! 

I spent a good 20 minutes talking to Jared and despite him seeming rather irritated that I asked the release date, he was extremely easy to interact with and provided a lot of great insight into what the game is going to be like. You’ll be playing as a character YOU create and the customization is basically without limits. The landscapes and graphics in the game are beautiful and flawless. The PS3 version for instance has no noticeable difference visually to the common person even though the creators of the game naturally had more leeway in terms of power when working on the PC version. Jared told me that every map, area, street, city, and point of interest has been researched with the DC comics team which means the player will be officially emerged into the DC Universe when playing. 

The new Ghostbusters game looks awesome although they didn’t have as many of the actual makers of the game at their booth. At least when I was there they had hired hands who kept asking people only to take still shot photos and NO video. The DCU game people were OK with video AND still shots. Regardless, I’m buying both of the games for sure. You can find plenty of video and screen caps from the new Ghostbusters game all over the Internets. They actually DO have a release date (6-16-09) and the Ghostbusters Blu-ray comes out the same day!

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Legends of Wrestlemania is gearing up to serve as nostalgia to the old school WWF fans and also bring wrestling video games back to the basics. For years, wrestling video games have grown to feature complicated game play, intricate combinations, and other nonsense that the casual gamer doesn’t want to deal with. The best wrestling games were from back in the day. Games like Super Wrestlemania and Royal Rumble on Genesis and Super NES were so much fun that I’d be hanging out at a friends house playing them for hours on end. Legends of Wrestlemania is authentic since it features all the major classic WWF stars and their entrance themes. The venues to choose from have been those that have hosted Wrestlemania. The fueds and options are all based around classic Wrestlemania matchups. It’s literally a WWF/WWE fans dream come true. The American Dream Dusty Rhodes was there to sign autographs and promote the game which will be release on 3-24-09:


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THE ARTISTS

There were many artists who had other business to tend to throughout the day. Some of the artists were doing signings or interviews and had someone else sitting in for them at points throughout the day to sell their artwork. Unless you’ve sought out pictures of the actual artists you’re a fan of, or have met them before, you may not know what they look like. At several of the artists’ tables I passed, I couldn’t be sure if it was really them or not so I always made it a point to look at their professional badges around their neck.

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Even though I read his name on his tag “Dean Yeagle,” I verified “Is it really you!?!” I was so excited to meet this guy since he’s a legend in my book. I was first introduced to his art when I first saw his
Mandy character getting into mischief in the pages of Playboy magazine. His art is playful and amusing, with a dash of big-eyed Disney wonder. He signed a hardcover copy of Mandy’s Shorts that I bought. Check out his company at www.cagedbeagle.com


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Within the past year or so I really got into the pinup art of Amano Jyaku. Since I’ve never attended an official Comic-Con before, (been to a slew of conventions) I didn’t realize that I’d be running into artists and other folks who I knew solely through cyberspace. Creators and other people that I’ve become a fan of online seem to be imaginary until I actually meet them. As I strolled up and down the “Artists Alley,” I quickly glanced at a portfolio book and was immediately familiar with the pin-up style girls staring at me from inside the plastic sheets. It was Amano Jyaku, an artist I became friends with through seeing his art on various websites and on Myspace. I spoke with him and Paigey Pumphrey about how the Internet has opened so many doors for artists who, without the ‘net, might be struggling or forced to confine their skill to simply a hobby. I purchased 2 prints that he signed for me: 

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Amano’s guitar hero hottie (check out his logo on the guitar!)

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Amano’s a big fan of spiced rum, 
hence his love for sexy pirate chicks! I love that blue streak in her hair!


The magic of comic con or any convention of this type is not only the chance to meet the artists and industry people that you are familiar with or look up to, but also hopefully discover an artist or a book you haven’t heard of. Thanks to the Con, I became aware of Jamie Fay for and his awesome art for the first time. I fell totally in love with one of his Emma Frost pieces and I refused to leave without a signed print:

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Ms Emma Frost by *windriderx23 on deviantART

Another artist who I was pleased to discover was Richard P. Clark. His diverse portfolio is dramatic and mesmerizing. Clark is a truly versatile artist since he creates everthing from caricatures, and comic book characters to still life paintings. Richard was the type of guy who made me feel like I was already friends with him. He was sociable, funny, and appreciative. Clark was curious about The Sexy Armpit.com and it got a few laughs out of him. He signed an awesome Director Bones DC Comics foil card that he illustrated. www.zippystudio.com

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Almost everyone I ran into snickered when they read my badge, that in a plain black font labeled me as “The Sexy Armpit.com.” It’s become somewhat of a nickname and I always get a few chuckles or comments, which I invite or I wouldn’t have kept this name otherwise! Thanks to all those who handed me stuff for review and answered my questions. New York Comic Con isn’t as revered as the San Diego Con, but I was still thrilled by the experience and I recommend getting your ass to one of them if you can. Check back soon for Part 2 of my trip the NY Comic Con!

Foreign Objects Protruding From New Jersey!

Now that I’m apparently splitting my time between New Jersey and Las Vegas, I figured you wouldn’t miss me too much if I went to Vegas again. In anticipation of my next trip out there this weekend, I post for your investigation 2 photos that I snapped that I can’t seem to figure out.

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Hanging from the ceiling of the restaurant America, in New York, New York in Las Vegas (who coincidentally had an awesome veggie burger with fresh avocado strips on it) was a model of the entire United States. Each state had a miniature trademark, for instance, Pennsylvania featured the Liberty Bell, New York City had skyscrapers, and upstate New York had apples.
What perplexed me for the entire trip was the enigmatic objects that were jammed into New Jersey. 

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Dammit, Jersey gets so much flack all the time and now I discover THIS! Why is everyone always shitting all over New Jersey? 

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What in the hell is that shit on NJ? Obviously anyone in their right mind can see that there’s a slot machine there to signify Atlantic City, but what about the other crap?  Up north there’s some sort of Leaning Tower of Pisa. I haven’t the slightest clue what it’s supposed to be. Down in south Jersey, what I can see with the best of my ability is some weird looking roasted red pepper. There’s no chance that’s what it is, but I’ll be damned if someone tries to convince me it’s The Jersey Devil or something. If that’s what it’s supposed to be it’s the shittiest likeness of The Jersey Devil in the history of ceiling hung models of the U.S. Where the fuck is the Franklin Mint when you need them? Damn their veggie burgers are kickass but their version of New Jersey is all out of whack. Sure New York, New York gets it’s own state right but they f–k New Jersey up royally. Why don’t they give up this stupid grudge already?
I couldn’t resist adding this picture I took of the exterior of some cheesy stores on the Vegas strip. Notice the airbrushed t-shirts on the left. 

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The first shirt is classic: I Love to Fart a.k.a I Heart to Fart! Oh man, this is the best valentine’s day gift for a person who loves to fart. I’m pretty sure there’s others in the high fashion line such as “I love to take toxic dumps” and I Love “I Heart” Shirts. Watch out because Mark Ecko and Ed Hardy will be releasing their own versions of these pretty soon. Get these originals while you can since the designer brands will be $150 a pop.
If it’s possible, the shirts grow more tasteless from left to right, but let’s be honest…Vegas isn’t the classiest place in the country. 
This next shirt features a stick figure going down on another stick figure. It reads: Warning: Choking Hazard! Package contains large parts Keep out of reach of small women.
Last and finally not least, the Warner Brother’s logo has been paid the ultimate tribute. If you see ‘da police Warn a Brother!

The Day the Earth Stood Still on the NJ Turnpike

In his review in the N.Y Times of the remake of The Day the Earth Still starring Keanu Reeves, A.O Scott fills in on the New Jersey aspect of the film:

“A metastasizing swarm of metal bugs — the best special effects in a movie
that often looks cheap and bedraggled — is dispatched to eat us and everything
we’ve made, or at least everything on the New Jersey Turnpike.

he goes on to say:

“Its scenario and many of its scenes feel ripped off rather than freshly
imagined — why do aliens always seem to end up in New Jersey?…”

Normally I don’t heed the majority of movie critic’s warnings but in this case I will. I can’t imagine this being mind blowing in any capacity. Even though Tom Cruise’s War of the World’s was filmed in NJ, I would personally still like to see some more alien action here. We’ve already seen Los Angeles and New York City have prominent roles in sci-fi and action films, so let NJ have a go at it for a while!

A Twisted Sister Christmas at The Nokia Theatre in Times Square 12-5-08!

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Twisted Sister decked the halls of the Nokia Theater in Times Square REALLY HARD on December 5th, 2008 for their Christmas show and The Sexy Armpit was in attendance! If you’d like a visual aid, check out the video montage I edited up for you at the bottom of this post!

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I was impressed with opening acts ZO2 and The Dirty Pearls, both from Brooklyn. I’ve seen ZO2 live before, and their afroed frontman Paulie Z has a dynamic voice and a likeable personality. Bassist David Z and Drummer Joey Cassata are abundantly talented and make the tunes sound rockin’, even though they’ve got a run of the mill ’70s retro rock vibe. Regardless, I found myself wanting to come home and download “Isolate” and “Ain’t it Beautiful.” Their TV show Z-Rock airs on the Independent Film Channel, and it’s also available on iTunes.

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I’ve heard songs from The Dirty Pearls before but last night was the first time I saw them live. They’ve got plenty of hard rock swagger and sleaze but thankfully they don’t chince out on the great chorus’ and hooks. What’s with all the afros in rock music? Both of the aforementioned openers have bandmembers with afros. Didn’t we get the memo? The afro thing was over a few years ago!

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Hearing that Twisted Sister is playing Christmas music might seem cheesy to elitist music snobs, but they pull it off with cool to spare. You’d be surprised at how unbelievable Dee Snider’s voice sounds, it might be as strong as it was 20 years ago. I couldn’t make it to last year’s Twisted Christmas show, but I’m glad I was at this one because the entire band chewed up the Nokia Theatre and ate it for a midnight snack. Twisted consists of all original members (Dee, J.J, Mark, A.J, and Eddie) who effortlessly shred, hit, and berate their instruments yielding primal musical results. The band slashed through all their classic crushing tracks as well as the holiday fare from A Twisted Christmas, released in the fall of ’06. 
The Twisted Christmas extravaganza became nothing short of holiday TV variety show! Mini Kiss ushered Santa Snider’s sleigh onto the stage. And still looking sexy, Lita Ford strutted onstage in a skintight red hot vinyl body suit to sing “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” with Dee. Another surprise was TNA Wrestling star, Mick Foley, who graced us by his presence disguised as Santa Claus offering to give the band members anything they wanted for Christmas. Naturally, Dee answered: “I WANNA ROCK!”
At the show, Dee announced that Twisted will release an album of all new material in ’09! And now onto my video montage of the show:

MINDGAME: “A Comic Psycho Thriller” Review 12/3/08

On Wednesday December 3rd, 2008 I drove into lower Manhattan, to review Mindgame, a play billed as a “comic psycho thriller” at the Soho Playhouse. When I see a play or movie I try to refrain from doing too much research prior to my experience in order to go into it without any preconceived notions. I won’t spoil too much and if by the end of reading this you decide to check out the play for yourself, I suggest going in with an open mind.

Mindgame is no mere mortal of a play, and while immersing yourself in it you’ll feel like you’re stomping up and down the stairs of MC Escher’s painting Relativity, never really reaching a destination. Although, those who persevere through this rich Mindgame will feel rewarded. You’ll be left with a lingering fallout of thoughts, possible conclusions, and a multitude of unanswered questions. If you don’t consider that a reward, then you should think of going to see Shrek the Musical instead.

In the lore of the play, best selling writer Mark Styler has come to a mental hospital in hopes of interviewing Eastman, a serial killer. Styler’s book Bloodbath chronicled the exploits of 9 notorious serial killers, but an interview with Eastman eluded him. Styler first has to meet with Dr. Farquhar, the head of the hospital, in order to get clearance to meet with Eastman. The enigmatic and seemingly dignified Farquhar is not aware of who Styler is, nor is he familiar with his apparent written request to interview one of his patients. The play’s comic tone grows eerie as the quest to figure out exactly what the hell is going on begins. Farquhar calls for his assistant, Nurse Plimpton, a couple of times until she finally arrives. In what seems like an outlandish ornament to the play in her pink wig, white vinyl nurses costume, fishnet stockings, and silver hooker boots, the sexy nurse isn’t just eye candy as you’ll find out. The nurse is noticeably uneasy judging by her uncomfortable chuckles that follow her dialogue.

In the events that follow, a scalpel, a vintage 1966 bottle of wine, a shopping bag from Marks and Spencer, and a straight jacket all come into play. You may have to call upon your days as household champion of Clue to sift through the conundrums that makeup Mindgame. In this case though, you can’t be sure Colonel Mustard is actually Colonel Mustard and you most definitely will not be able to rely on the old standby and blame the butler “Didit.” When we reach what seems to be a turning point in the play, there’s a revelation about one of the characters. At that moment it occurred to me that I may not have been mentally raising the right questions. I had to fine tune my thinking. After more revelations occur, it’s not obvious which one we’re supposed to believe. The play’s finale is left open to interpretation, and for that reason Mindgame is the epitome of clever and thought provoking.

Coming from a former English major, I’d say Mindgame is quite a juicy subject from a literary standpoint. I did not read the novel by Anthony Horowitz, but solely based on what I saw in the play, there’s a profuse amount of themes imbedded in it’s layers. So exactly how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of mind game? Chances are, the center will probably turn hard as a rock before you can even crack the candy coating. Don’t bite it and walk away or you’ll miss out on fully enjoying and appreciating the finer details. Here are just some of the themes of Mindgame: influence, identity, insanity, perversions, murder, contradictions, incest, homosexuality, liberation, psychoanalytic methods, cannibalism, BDSM, role reversal, deformity, self perception/public image, mind over matter, and the arousing nature and glorification of murderers like Jack the Ripper. Or it could be about none of those things. Confused?

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It’s hard to believe that only 3 actors created Mindgame onstage. Keith Carradine (Will Rogers Follies, TV’s Deadwood and Dexter) seamlessly stepped into the shoes of the doctor of the mental hospital, Farquhar while Lee Godart (Skylight, Copenhagen, and TV’s All My Children) vivified Mark Styler, the writer. The pair exchanged lines with artful elegance. Both actors utilized their superb comic timing while occasionally the play’s unpredictable nature forced them to erupt into skillfully executed volatile rages. Upon her entrance, Nurse Plimpton was a welcome addition to the stage, and my nether region. The nuances of her performance are to be savored. Kathleeen McNenny has starred in Richard III for the NJ Shakespeare Festival, TV’s Law and Order, and the film School of Rock, as well as numerous other TV and stage productions. Without this incredibly adept cast, Mindgame wouldn’t have been nearly as enjoyable.

Ken Russell directs the fine cast through the taught script of Mind game. Russell states in the director’s note in the playbill: “By the end of Act I on my first reading of Mindgame, I was ready for a small scotch. By the time I reached the grand finale, I was in need of a large one.” No matter how bemused by the script, Russell’s inspiration shines through in this well conceived production. Helping the translation from script to stage was Beowulf Boritt who has designed yet another exceptional set. The stage was set as Farquhar’s office and it contains several props and decoys of varying importance. Be perceptive and especially take a glance over at that morphing painting on the wall!

You’ll find Mindgame to be funny and suspenseful, yet mind boggling. It’s not as simple as it first seems. The play relies on atmosphere and dialogue so don’t expect big huge ensemble dance numbers. If you’re not down with perverse subject matter, or some scalpel slashing then you may want to sit this one out. The material is a bit challenging for someone who’s not a theater goer, it can be repetitive at times. The methodical nature of the script may just get you frustrated. But if you’re “all in” then pay attention to the subtle details, you may or may not need them! Is this not making sense to you? Good, that’s the point! It’s refreshing to know that much passion went into the production of Mindgame and it’s not just some slapped together stage show starring some already forgotten American idol reject. Even though it’s more to digest than recycled clichéd fare, it’s an experience you’ll be talking about for a long time so allow yourself to be engaged in the Mindgame! Back to The age old question What does it all mean? Carpet. Envelope. Wallpaper. Cigarette. Jelly. Yeah…that’s it! Intrigued?

MINDGAME
Soho Playhouse
15 Vandam Street
BTW 6th Ave & Varick