My First Nocturna Mission!

There’s not enough Nocturna on the Internet! I’ve expressed my passion for Nocturna and my desire to see her appear in the next Batman film on this site before, even though my efforts will no doubt be futile.

Now that Autumn is here, the sun has started to go down earlier each day. What better way to greet the night than with the sensual and gothic Batman villain and sexpot, Nocturna, Mistress of the Night? While she’s not the comedic sort like Elvira, they definitely evoke similar qualities in appearance. I’d imagine Nocturna is lighter on her feet than Elvira because she doesn’t have big hair. They’re both ultra pale. Elvira just likes to cake on the makeup, but Nocturna has a legitimate lack of skin pigment. I can’t really say if Nocturna ever wears nipple tassels that she spins around when flailing her boobs during dance numbers, but she does carry herself with quite a Dark Shadows type flair.

Noctura’s sexier than Poison Ivy, especially if you don’t like when Pam makes vines grow up your legs and then tries to hold you captive in her room full of killer cactus and Venus flytraps. (Not that she’s tried that kind of kinky thing on me or anything…) Now, goth chicks on the other hand are a lot of fun and unlike Poison Ivy, they don’t need to shoot you with darts full of love serum to turn you on. All it takes is some pale cleavage and jet black hair, and they’ve got you hooked…much like Bruce Wayne was when in the presence of Nocturna!

Today The Sexy Armpit will take a look at the covers and some panels from Detective Comics #530 and Batman #363. Please, all of you creatures of the night, join me in my Nocturna Mission! We’ll have more Nocturna to follow within the Halloween Countdown!

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My Batman Geek Cred

I’m not going to sit and pretend to be too cool for school. I know what a meme is, I’m just a little foggy on the details. I’ve never taken part in a meme before since it seems like some elitist blogger thing! Just joking…calm down you! Actually, I was under the impression that much like a Vampire comes into your home, I thought I had to be invited to do a meme. Heck, even if I wasn’t invited…I’m CRASHING! Meanwhile, over at Eclectorama’s blog, Chunky B wanted to show off just how geeky he was with certain pieces from his Batman collection. Toyriffic and others have joined the meme (gee, I don’t know what’s geekier, the stuff I’m about to show you or the fact that I keep referencing the word “meme” in this paragraph. I LOVE BEING A FREAKIN‘ NERD! MEME MEME MEME. It’s been my dream to do a meme.

Several blogs out there have mentioned that even though we’ve had such a high dosage of Batman within the past few months, we still can’t get enough. I never get tired of looking at other people’s Bat-collectibles and memorabilia. And now from my personal Batman collection I unveil to you items that would most classify me as a total geek.

Solely by definition alone, this piece of my Batman collection is solidified as the most technically geeky. I’ve had this Batman bookmark since I was a little punk like Jason Todd. The manufacturer is One Stop Posters 1987.

Here we have 2 sets of bat cuffs which I HAVEN’T used in a sexual manner…YET. I’m always waiting to pull these out of my utility belt along with a latex prophylactic. In this little scenario that’s going on in my mind right now, I smirk at the camera, then I proceed to get out of my bat suit, leaving the cape and cowl on of course. Women love the mystique! Then we’re doing the Batusi all night, OHH! Seriously though, it’s a sin to know that they aren’t being put to proper use. I’d much rather see them clutching the wrists of a frisky Selina Kyle or a playful Barbara Gordon. As for Nocturna well…she can put me in the damn things, lose the key, and have her way with me.
One of the headliners in my collection that I consider special is my limited edition Batman Lighted sculpture by Headlites. It’s been in my room since ’92 and it’s even followed me to my bedroom in my own condo. Even though I’m not a kid anymore, Batman is still a major part of my life and always will be. When I was young my dad used to ask me “Jay, do you think you’ll still like Batman when you get older?” I’d rebut the question with a resoundingly positive response as if he put me on trial. Once you’re a Batman fan then you’re one for life! How’s that for geek cred, huh?

In this corner, the geekiest of geeks…ME! When I was 15 years old I came up with the ridiculous idea of writing my own Gotham Globe newspaper. I typed it up on one of my earliest computers and I gave it out to my friends who were Bat-fans. At the time, they thought I did a great job although they still said I was friggin’ nuts! It doesn’t get more geeky than writing a fantasy newspaper for a fictitious city and then blogging an entry touting my high level geek status. Presented here for your perusal are the only 2 known issues ever to be printed. Click them to get a closer look!

Believe it or not, there’s so much more random Batman stuff to be brought into the spotlight here at The Sexy Armpit. I’m not going to blow it all out right now though. Remember, we’ve got The Dark Knight DVD release that will surely bring more Batman posts your way! For now please take a look at these other Bat-related posts that are just as super geeky:

Bubba Shelby: Artist by Day, Toy Collector by Night!

Yeah, I knew you would like that one! The illustration above shows the awe and anticipation most of us felt for the Batman movies! This piece was done by friend and fellow blogger extraordinaire Bubba Shelby. He maintains several blogs such as my personal favorite, Toyriffic! and he also displays his art at bubbashelby.blogspot.com. His sketches and illustrations are bright, fun to look at, and filled with personality. Go there and you’ll see his Supergirl/Batgirl hybrid, his take on the ’60s Batmobile, and even Zatanna! If you’re not much of a fanboy then don’t worry! His subject matter doesn’t only include superheroes, you’ll also see some of his original characters and sketches as well. In the last couple of years he’s posted so many awesome illustrations that you’ll want to go through his entire archive! So pay him a visit Sexy Armpit style! Here’s 2 of my favorites:

Anthony Michael Hall Should Play The Creeper

I went to see The Dark Knight for a second time last night. It was every bit as engrossing as the first time I saw it, although it couldn’t hold a candle to the Imax Experience! As I walked out of the theater I thought that with all the fervor surrounding The Dark Knight there’s not as much speculation on the internet as I thought about who will be the next Batman villains.

I’m pulling for Ra’s Al Ghul to use Talia to lead Batman back to him for revenge. Hopefully this time around he’ll have discovered the Lazarus Pit and he’ll be more demonic. Aside from the source material, Ra’s was never portrayed better than in the animated series. If that doesn’t pan out I went through all of the Batman rogues gallery and have come up with a few characters to add to my want list. The most probable would be Dr. Hugo Strange, Anarky, and coming out of left field is the hot piece of pale ass, Nocturna.

Who would I like to see make an appearance the most? The Creeper! Jack Ryder WAS a talk show host much like Mike Engel from The Dark Knight. The name Mike Engel definitely doesn’t sound like Jack Ryder. It’s not spelled like Jack Ryder either, but perhaps Engel goes into hiding because he’s so scared of the Joker and goes so far as to change his name to keep the Joker from finding him. Stranger things have happened in comic books. All I know is, The Creeper would be an outstanding choice for a Batman film as well as a perfect role for Anthony Michael Hall. It’s an understatement to say that The Creeper has a huge cult following. I doubt it will happen, but a guy could dream right?

Even though the appearance of Robin seems to be pretty much squashed, Devon Lohan has some great speculation on a possible future Robin. Who do you want to see in the villain role in the next Bat-Film? Any other characters you would like to see appear in the future Bat-film?

What’s In My Cart at Wal-Mart?

I usually hesitate before I write a post about a Dorito flavor. I know everyone and their father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate’s going to post about it. I try my best not to write about what everyone else is writing about (excluding The Dark Knight of course!) even if that means I won’t be getting as many hits. You can ignore all that though because I’m about to contradict myself.
PIZZA and RANCH? Holy crap. This was another instance of me walking through the aisles at Wal-Mart and actually having my eyes bulge out of my sockets like Roger Rabbit. What’s my policy when first noticing a new Doritos flavor? BUY 2. I’m better off because with my luck I’ll love them and go back to the store to buy more and find out that the “limited editionness” of them wasn’t actually a ploy. There’s always a chance they may become extinct from shelves so always buy 2!!! Unless they’re Mountain Dew flavor, then you may as well feed both packages to the Pigeons and let them have their Epiphany day where their messiah is scattered all over the ground. To them, all they’ll see is a a luscious, glowing, triangular nacho chip speckled with radioactive dust.

I’m definitely one of those people who considers themselves a Doritos connoisseur. Believe it or not I know a few people who despise Doritos. I don’t know how you can’t like them! Personally, I don’t enjoy regular, greasy potato chips. They don’t turn me into one of those wild and crazay guys like the Doritos do.

I’d say these are my definite favorite out of the Doritos Collisions Line. Zesty Taco/Chipotle Ranch come in a close second and 3rd place would be the Hot Wings and Blue Cheese. In the Pizza Cravers/Ranch scenario the pizza flavor tastes much like the last time they showed up in the late ‘90s. If you never tasted them the seasoning is very similar to Pizzarias! Remember them? Now they kicked ass! Do they actually taste like pizza? Well maybe if you think really hard, close your eyes…oh and it may work better if you’re under the influence of a hallucinogen. The Ranch flavor actually tasted more appealing to me than the classic Cool Ranch. They’re Cool Ranch minus the COOL, because they’re just so smooth. They’re like a blanket made of ranch flavored velvet. Pizza Cravers and Ranch make a great combination of flavors. Apparently there’s a cult of people who dip their pizza crust in ranch dressing. I don’t have a membership card to that crew but hey, go for it! I’ll stick to the Doritos! BUY 2!

What did I conquer next? A couple of hot chicks on a cereal box. OK, so I admitted to playing with Barbie’s when I was a kid…but it was only ONCE OK? I figured since I did write about the piece of ass Barbie dolls that are on store shelves, then it’s almost a requirement that I pick these up:

I really couldn’t resist. I’m still on a quest to find a cereal that tastes like Oops! All Berries, which are quite possibly the best cereal ever made since Smurfberry Crunch. Since those 2 Godsends disappeared, I’ve never tasted anything so good. In the back of my head I can only hope they taste halfway decent. That will make up for me having a box of “limited edition” Barbie cereal in my shopping cart. I “manned” up my cart though, don’t worry. I threw in some Mach 3 Turbo razors, and Salsa. That’s a man’s pickup! I also had some night lights so mixed with the Barbie cereal that could either mean I’m a total pussy and afraid of the dark, or I have a little daughter who’s been having nightmares and I’m showing concern for her by buying her limited edition multi grain breakfast cereal. Neither one is true, I just yearned for a good cereal that would bring me back to…yeah…I’m gonna say it: Yesteryear. lol.

I JUST OPENED THE BOX…

Like the Target lady played by Kristen Wiig on SNL says HOORAY! My deduction was correct, this Barbie cereal is amazing! If you were a fan of Oops! all Berries then you will enjoy this because it has a very similar taste, PLUS marshmallows and two hot chicks on the front of the box! You can’t go wrong so THANK YOU BARBIE LIMITED EDITION MULTI GRAIN CEREAL WITH MARSHMALLOWS! You saved us! The Sexy Armpit says BUY 2!

So, have you had any whacked out purchases lately?

Batman Blu-Ray Winner!

The Dark Knight countdown has come to an official close until the next Bat-Film!

Congrats to the winner of the Batman Blu-Ray Giveaway:

John F. of Midlothian, Texas!

Several new articles are in the works, so keep an eye out for a couple of them this week!
As always, thanks for visiting The Sexy Armpit.com!

The Water Club, Atlantic City N.J

For the big Dark Knight weekend we had the pleasure of staying at The Water Club at the Borgata in Atlantic City. When I first walked in I noticed how grandiose the design was. It’s huge, but sparsely decorated, which I enjoy. I’m a fan of big open spaces and super high ceilings what can I say? The folks at the front desk tended to our every need. They even asked if they could make dinner reservations for us, and we actually took them up on their offer. We went to Wolfgang Puck’s American Grille in the Borgata. You would think I’m the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase with all this, but I’m far from it! I had the Almond Crusted Salmon with Horseradish Potato Puree and red wine reduction. That’s just a fancy schmancy way of saying Salmon topped with Almonds and mashed potatoes. As you could imagine, the presentation of the entrée was excellent and the meal was superb.
When we got into our room I saw an interactive plasma hanging on the wall that welcomed us by name. It had all of the visitor info and check out info as well. The room was decorated in beige and brown earth tones. I expected no less than a Cisco IP phone on the desk and leather pillows against the headboard. The room featured the most comfortable bed and pillows which were as good if not better than the Borgata’s.
As if you haven’t had enough Batman already, I had an Adam West sighting on the trip. This time he wasn’t in person, he was starring in a Password slot machine game. In other Batman news it’ll be Joker week at Eclectorama! Go check it out and continue on your high from The Dark Knight! I also had to basically beat a couple of guys off the new Indiana Jones (pictured below) machines with a stick to get to play one for 5 minutes. And lose most of my money in the process. We also got comp tickets to see a live version of The Wedding Singer. This was a show on Broadway but now it’s over at Harrah’s Resort until the end of August. There’s no big name actors in it but I thought it would be fun to see since I am a fan of the movie and a total ’80s freak. The transition from screen to stage wasn’t an easy one for The Wedding Singer. There plenty of ’80s references and a few really good one liners but it almost seemed like it was better off as a movie. The play is made up of original songs written for the stage show which all fell short and were not catchy at all. Two songs from the film appeared such as the humorous delivery of “Somebody Kill Me Please,” which wound up getting alot of laughs because of the way the actor playing Robbie actually “sang” the song instead of screamed it ala angry Adam Sandler. The other was “I Want To Grow Old With You.” If you plan on seeing this show, I warn you of the abomination that is the guy who played the Billy Idol impersonator. His part was “Billy Idol impersonator” and he wasn’t convincing at all…but the Tina Turner impersonator on the other hand, went over big! It’s worth seeing only if you got a comp ticket offer like we did.

Review: The Dark Knight in IMAX

I get a lot of crap from friends when I tell them that I take off of work for movie openings like Hulk and of course, The Dark Knight. For The Dark Knight premiere, I drove 1 hr. and 45 minutes down the Garden State Parkway to Atlantic City and got a comped hotel room so I can make a big event of it. And why not? I don’t really make a big deal about anything so THIS is a HUGE deal for me. Some people took off work to go see the NY Giants Victory parade in the city, but I think seeing The Dark Knight is quite possibly the biggest event in my life since the 1989 Batman film came out! So to all of those people who think I’m crazy for doing these things, let me just say that I doubt I’m the only one. If you’re going to make a big deal about something, let it be this film.

Now, it would be a colossal task for me to fully express all of the thoughts going through my head after seeing The Dark Knight in Imax yesterday. It’s very possible that I would wind up writing a 35 page dissertation on the film. Brevity has never been a strong point in my writing. I’ll try my best to summarize my main thoughts about the film.

We arrived at the Imax theater in the Tropicana in Atlantic City at 10:30 am and people had already started waiting on line at 10:00 am! Luckily, I purchased advance tickets so we had nothing to worry except waiting to get let into the theater. I looked around at the line and saw a young guy dressed as Ledger’s version of the Joker face paint and all! I also spotted many Batman shirts and I noticed other people checking mine out. (it’s pictured above) There was an enormous standee that featured Batman riding the Batpod out of the standee in a 3-D effect. Large hanging posters of the Dark Knight adorned the theater. I scanned across the concession stand to see typical theater fare although they did offer ICEE’s. I’m not talking about Slurpees, or slush puppies…this was the real deal! ICEE’s have always been my favorite but they are very hard to find in my area for some reason. So I got myself a nice large cherry ICEE and a large popcorn. (The large was the smallest they had since various jumbo sizes took over for large) Those two items came out to 13 bucks! Thieves! Okay, okay…enough of the build up! Get to the good stuff!

Quite a few short scenes kick this film off to a fast paced start. We’re reintroduced into Gotham City in what feels like moments. And was it me, or was it exciting to see Scarecrow again? I wouldn’t complain if he showed up in the next film! Within the opening of the film I had the feeling that I was finally watching a comic book movie that was ripped out of the pages. It was not just some Hollywood movie trying to masquerade as a comic movie. The phrase “they finally got it right,” is a total understatement.

Heath Ledger as the Joker
Simply the work of legend. If the Joker was REAL, he would be Heath Ledger. It’s not possible that he acted in this role…he actually became the Joker. Ledger and Bale face off with each other throughout the film and we’re able to see the struggle between chaos and order unfold before our eyes. The reason why Joker is Batman’s most famous villain is because it creates a metaphor. We aren’t just witnessing two tormented souls opposing one another, it’s two powerful forces, disorder and harmony, clashing. Ledger was humorous, sarcastic, and psychotic. The Joker’s trademark laugh wasn’t overused. You’ll notice his laughter at the most effective moments. The story he tells about his father where the “Why So Serious” tag line shows up is some unsettling stuff. Ledger seemed as if he knew he was going to basically create a whole new character. Even though he was playing such an over the top maniacal character, he displayed so many subtleties. While being occasionally low key he still comes off as a psycho. We even see Ledger disguised in a nurses uniform and wig, bringing to mind classic Joker pranks. In reality, Ledger’s Joker wasn’t “So Serious,” because he provided plenty of one liners and comic relief. He’s genuinely humorous while being psychologically disturbing and mentally sadistic.
Minor Origin Tweaks
The film changes the Joker’s origin as well as Two-Face’s. Even though the changes are minor, TDK, and its predecessor Batman Begins, still stand overall as pretty faithful to the comic book. Does anyone have a problem with these changes? Did it bother you that Harvey Dent wasn’t hit with chemicals in a courtroom? Personally I’m a purist and I still like the origin of the Joker/Red Hood falling into the vat of chemicals. Though, to make it seem more realistic they went in a different direction. Even though they went a bit more horrific than I imagined, I really love how Two-Face’s “bad side” looked. It reminded me of an alien from They Live, very frightening. I didn’t agree with Two-Face’s fate but hey, anything can happen in Gotham, right?

Defining a Hero
What a hero is. A Hero isn’t infallible. Those in the public eye that Gotham looks to such as Harvey Dent and Batman are always under public scrutiny. Even in attempting to do good for the overall well being of Gotham, they’re under a microscope. The way the film ended leaves a feeling of a very clean slate as if anything is possible in the Batman universe. Instead of the film ending with a “tip off” as to who the next villain will be, (as in Batman Begins w/Joker card) The Dark Knight ends by bringing Batman back into focus. The reason why he exists is always being questioned and justified. Bruce Wayne even questions at times if his battle against crime causes more problems than it does help the city. At the end of the film we witness “The Batman” as a character whom we’ve seen for almost 70 years, a vigilante. A person whose own demons were enough to spark his life’s crusade against crime but someone who evolves into a hero who cares deeply about the welfare of a city that seems to be overrun with over the top criminal masterminds.

IMAX
What a treat it is to see a film in an Imax theater. The Imax scenes were downright amazing an immersed me right into the film. The action sequences were masterfully executed and I felt like I was actually in the SWAT team van with Harvey Dent during the chase scene. After having seen Batman Begins and Superman Returns both in Imax this film took the technology to the next level.

Cast and Appearances
It was a refreshing moment when I heard that Anthony Michael Hall was going to have a role in The Dark Knight. He’s been one of my favorite actors since I was a kid and I hope he continues to be in genre roles now since Dead Zone was cancelled. Eric Roberts was a perfect fit for Sal Maroni. It was also great to see William Fichtner play the bank manager, or as I call him, the GUY WHO’S IN EVERYTHING! The entire cast are more comfortable with their parts this time. Oldman’s Gordon becomes a stronger character while Freeman’s Lucious Fox grows weary of the lengths Wayne will go for his cause. In ’95 I thought Tommy Lee Jones was a great choice for Two-Face. Fast forward 13 years and after watching Aaron Eckhart hit the nail on the head that’s pictured on the double sided coin of his… Tommy Lee Jones was an abortion. He had no business even playing the character.

Maggie Gyllenhaal
I had a felling that Gyllenhaal would play a better Rachel Dawes than Holmes did and I was right. Holmes played Dawes very stiff and bitter but I never understood why. No matter her motivation being career success or the prosperity of Gotham City, Gyllenhaal showed more signs of life in her scenes than Holmes did. Gyllenhaal actually flirts with Dent in the film which made me feel like she was more human. Holmes was too dull and boring. Dawes spiced things up a little bit. She played her part less morose and she didn’t show signs of some sort of internal struggle with herself like Holmes did. I appreciated that Gyllenhaal smiled frequently and she just evoked more positive emotions and normal vibes. I don’t agree with the casting of Holmes or Gyllenhaal since I picture Bruce Wayne falling for a hot piece of ass like Talia Al Ghul not a run of the mill average Maggie or Katie. The scene after Batman saves Rachel after a scary fall, she tells him “let’s never do this again.” The humor that followed up such an intense moment reminded me of when Batman (Keaton) said to Vicki Vale (Basinger) “you weigh a little more than 108.” It’s that humor that tickles your stomach after you just got out of a hairy situation.

Conclusion
The drama was simply gripping at times. There are a number of truly intense moments where I was on the edge of my seat and genuinely didn’t know what was going to happen. I think the triumph of the film lies with the details. The soundtrack by Hans Zimmer builds, takes cover, and then slowly creeps up again. The strategic points of silence during aftermaths of destruction and the subtle low repetitions of notes sunk my mind deeper into the drama. The cinematography is the best in any super hero film so far and probably any film I’ve seen this year. All of these fine nuances elevated The Dark Knight into a category of a “fine film.”
Along with all of the revolutionary aspects of this installment of Batman, it’s now made superhero films possible to exist as a quality film without a critic painfully admitting “good for a superhero film.” For the rest of your life you’ll never have to hear someone snicker when you tell them that The Dark Knight is your favorite film. Although they WILL still snicker if you tell them it’s Batman and Robin. I didn’t want the film to end. If Nolan had made a never ending batman film I would’ve sat in the theater for the rest of my life watching the many exploits of the Dark Knight unfold before my eyes.

**Getting to see the Watchmen trailer was enthralling. It only leads me to believe that DC IS actually on the right track with their superhero franchise. The DC universe, if utilized correctly, could stand up against Marvel any day. All WB needs is about 2 or 3 more directors as capable and inspired as Christopher Nolan and casts who work as harmoniously as the cast of the Batman franchise.

Holy Batman Links, The Dark Knight is Upon Us!

You still have a couple of days to enter The Sexy Armpit’s Batman on Blu-Ray giveaway! Click here for more info!

Rob at Myspace TV has one of the best versions of Power Records “Batman: Stacked Cards” story book and record. It’s basically like reading a comic book but with an audio track and sound effects. I still have my original copy of this that my parents bought me when I was 3 years old. It’s ingrained in my memory. The art, by Neal Adams, is drawn exactly the way Batman and the cast should look. Keep in mind that it was made in 1975 so you may not enjoy the audio track, but I think it’s awesome. Interesting fact according to Wikipedia: Power Records was owned by Peter Pan Records of NEWARK, New Jersey from the 70’s to 2000 and is now owned by Inspired Studios in Roseland, New Jersey! Imagine that! All those great superhero book and record sets you had all came from Dirty Jersey baby!

Batman-ish Ceiling fan.

This is a Wiki compiling info on all of The Dark Knight viral campaigns and websites.

Bat-Blog – the best batman site out there!

Here’s one of the best Batman films ever: The Amazing Adventures of Little Batman!

Batman vs. Batman vs. Batman! A trailer for a movie I never thought I’d see: A face off between Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney, and Bale!

Here’s one of the worst, WORST, worst, home-made Bat-films that exists on You-Tube. I don’t care how young the kid who made it is. At that age I would’ve blown this film out of the water. People need to stop uploading shit onto You Tube!

Great White Snark has a post about a guy who got a HUGE Dark Knight logo tattooed on his back

Todd’s Blog has a great multi part feature on Batman comic book cover LOGOS throughout the years. Click on his “logo” link at the bottom of the post to see logos ranging from Green Lantern to Iron Man.

Batman The Dark Knight Milk advertisement and sweepstakes

Did you know that there was a city called Batman in southeast Turkey?

Again with the Comics has a post featuring Batman in Dostoyevsky’s “Crime and Punishment!”

THE KNIGHT IS UPON US! Tomorrow, the last day of the countdown, I’ll have a summary of my thoughts on the film in IMAX!

Here’s my list of Thank you’s and credits for helping me out during the Dark Knight Countdown!
Thanks to Steve D. for helping me research the links!