A Septic Spiel of Spooky Scares, Super Heroes, and Strange Stories from Miles Beneath the Crud of New Jersey!
The people who write the item descriptions over at Catbird obviously aced their sarcasm exam. Thanks to the mighty Robeast Rollie from Beauty and the Robeast for finding this gold New Jersey charm necklace when doing some online shopping recently. Here’s the mildly humorous description from the Catbirdnyc.com website:
“New Jersey! Wear it with PRIDE! So tiny, and shiny – lends an unexpected refinement to what is not generally known as the home of refined ladies.”
You too can be guest host of Monday Night Raw, but only if you have something to promote. Dennis Miller was promoting USA Cares, the non profit group that provides financial assistance to military families, which he’s the spokesperson for. From a programming standpoint, there was no better time to feature Miller on the show since WWE’s Tribute to the Troops airs this week. Also, many viewers watching may be more apt to donate money during the holidays. While I’m on the subject of things unrelated to wrestling, Dennis Miller’s weak shtick was chock full of random, forced pop references. Name dropping Amy Winehouse, Courtney Love, and MTV’s Jersey Shore all in the same joke was kind of a stretch. Half of the fans in the arena in Corpus Christi, Texas that night weren’t even alive when Hole was popular. Now Jersey Shore on the other hand really grabs people.
Miller also made another reference to New Jersey as he sent a dig to Mr. McMahon. Miller said “Vince will be at The Chuckle House this Friday, Route 67 in Paramus New Jersey.” The best thing about New Jersey is that no matter whether it’s Saturday Night Live or WWE Raw, New Jersey almost always provides a winning punchline. I don’t care if we are the brunt of all the jokes because it provides me with more fodder.
If you Google “The Chuckle House Paramus New Jersey,” you won’t find any info on a comedy club in New Jersey. As much the NJ connoisseur that I am, I could not find any info on The Chuckle House. This may have been a comedy club back in the day, or it still operates with absolutely no web presence whatsoever, which is unheard of. Of course, there’s the other possibility that Miller just made this joint up out of thin air. Although, in case you were wondering, Route 67 is a real road in NJ.
Instead of being relevant to the wrestling industry, the guest hosts have been B-list celebs and people who aren’t even connected with the Raw audience. Wouldn’t logic dictate that they should feature WWE HOF wrestlers, managers, valets, and former commentators as guest hosts? I can understand if a celebrity plays into a storyline, but asking a guest host to be on the show just for the hell of it or to get onto more headlines on the Internet is a good ploy, but really f-cking stupid. Since Miller has veered toward politics rather than making people laugh, he seems like an odd choice for guest host. I’m happy they teased the upcoming appearance of Bret “The Hitman” Hart hosting Raw since he’s an icon in the business. That leaves me with only one question: Where the f-ck is Craig DeGeorge?!?!?! Now he’s my choice for guest host!
YouTube user KCSCougar posted this, thanks to my friend Paul for the heads up:
While strolling through the toy aisles at the local Wal-Mart, I came across this Imaginext toy which bared a striking resemblance to a certain cryptid from NJ. I couldn’t decide whether Imaginext’s Fuzzy Dragon was inspired by The Jersey Devil or a reject puppet from Eureeka’s Castle.
The Fisher-Price brand, Imaginext, has done a superb job with their toy line. If I was a kid right now, I’d have their DC Super Heroes, Pirates, and Space toys all on my Christmas wish list. After a full examination of Fuzzy, I snapped some pics with the iPhone and then headed home to continue my investigation. My research lead me to the official Imaginext website where I discovered there was yet another dragon that resembled The Jersey Devil! In fact, they offer an entire line of Dragons!
Here’s the Six-legged Dragon:
Sure, Fuzzy and Six-legs can be construed as run of the mill dragons, but with a minor stretch of the imagination, these two dragons can easily qualify as Jersey Devils. Clearly, Fisher-Price did not want to tarnish their awesome toy line with an association to New Jersey.
I cannot tell a lie. I stole this pic off a friends Facebook page. This is a total violation of privacy and a downright shitty thing to do. In fact, I don’t even know how I could possibly face this person after I pulled such an irreverent stunt like this. But, when Tuesday rolls around and there’s t-shirts that need posting, then drastic measures have to be taken. How much of a jerkoff am I? T H I S M U C H! I don’t care though, because according to the tee in the pic above, here in Jersey, we go hard. Dammit, that is such a lame saying, but I guess it’s better than going soft! (face was sludged to protect the innocent)
My man Matt f’n Porter had the same idea as I did. He left a comment telling me to shoot some video of whoever opens the gift basket, and I was one step ahead of him! I remembered not to leave without my camera! (If you didn’t read the previous post, now is a good time.) I was very close to coming home with the latest Rihanna CD, but luckily, someone stole them from me when it was their turn. I applauded the guy who wanted to take them off my hands. Yeah, seriously…it was a guy. It was time for me to open another gift and so I took home a bunch of scratch off lotto tickets that scored me $13 dollars, so that wasn’t a bad deal. Now check out how the BTM gift basket went over:
