sexyarmpit, Author at Sludge Central

Monsters, TNA, and PB & Jay

Posted on March 15, 2011 by sexyarmpit

SS SEXY ARMPIT CAPTAIN’s LOG
MISSION: BIRTHDAY WEEKEND
Saturday March 12, 2011

The Monster Mania Con was calling my name like Vader taunting Luke. The con fell on my birthday weekend so not going wasn’t an option. Cherry Hill NJ is a bit of a hike from Sexy Armpit Headquarters but when I woke up on Saturday morning I noticed the weather was sunny and pretty warm so I decided that a ride down the Turnpike for Monster Mania was the thing to do.

Once I got off at exit 4, I stopped for an iced coffee at D and D to recharge myself and then headed to the Crowne Plaza Hotel. Out of all the stars that were signing autographs over the weekend there weren’t any names that I was hardcore about getting to meet. Of course there were some hotties like Dina Meyer, Allison Barron, and Melinda Clarke, but this time around I was planning on just hanging out and having a good time.

Parking was atrocious as usual, they really need to do something about that. Once the summer installment of MM rolls around I don’t feel like walking 3 1/2 miles back to my car in the sweltering heat. Fortunately, I was able to nab a fairly close spot, but that was after 15 minutes of driving around. Inside I noticed the same scenes of previous MM cons, but that’s what’s cool about it. I thought to myself, “If only there was a place like this that you could go hang all the time, not just a couple of times a year.”

I kept my spending to a minimum and made only a few purchases.

One of them was something cool for Miss Sexy Armpit at the SourPuss Clothing table.

I met a much cooler New Jersey version of Kat Von D, Jessica Rajs. Jess is the creative director from Bad Zombie, the creators of The New Jersey Zombie Walk. They not only organize the Zombie Walk but also sell some rad T-Shirts as well as a Pinup Calendar of some sexy and zombified local ladies. The Gorgeous and Gory Pinup Calendar is sold out, but each print was available for purchase along with other cool swag.

Finally the coolest moments of the con came when I ran into a few familiar faces. First, the question was posed what would happen if The Sexy Armpit was in The Man Cave? Two major players at the MM Con, Geof Capodanno of The Man Cave Blog and his friend and expert cameraman Dan Petrucci do it up in style with a hotel room, and not one igloo, but TWO M*THERF*CKING IGLOOS! What’s so cool about the Igloos you ask? They were filled with…BEER! So they were nice enough to invite a wandering Sexy Armpit up to their room for a brew and they also filmed a Man Cave Interview with me too! It sound so dirty but it really isn’t! It will probably be posted over there pretty soon so be on the lookout! It was a really fun time and I look forward to hanging out with the Man Cave crew again in the future. Thanks guys!

From there I also ran into John and his girlfriend from Freddy in Space (one of the best horror blogs out there) and had a minute to talk with them. And then I talked with none other than the writer and director of the awesome revenge film, JERSEY JUSTICE, John Charles Hunt! If you have a minute, check out The Sexy Armpit’s review of the film right here. By the end of the day I realized that socializing without any stringent agenda made the day way more fun. Without being rushed around and bleeding money out of my wallet I had a chance to really enjoy the experience.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H7PZ4fhIJo?rel=0]

After the con it was time to rush back up the Turnpike for the TNA Wrestling show in Rahway NJ. In addition to “The Shore” spectacle made up of Robbie E., Cookie, and Angelina from Jersey Shore, most of the big TNA stars also appeared including Kurt Angle, AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy, Matt Morgan, and Beer Money. Velvet Sky was signing during intermission so it was my big chance to meet her. Getting a picture with Velvet Sky made me quite a happy man. The show’s fast paced ring action made the crowd electric. It was a great time and we met up with some friends after the show.

What’s a birthday without a cool cake? Is that a giant peanut butter and jelly sandwich in this picture or a birthday cake masquerading as a giant peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I primed my girlfriend several months in advance that this was the cake I wanted for my birthday and she remembered. So we slapped some candles into that bad boy and dug in. Using the Cakewich Sandwich Style Cake Mold, who is getting a free plug right now, Miss Sexy Armpit took the time to concoct this delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich cake. I know lots of people who despise peanut butter but obviously I am not one of them. PB and J has always been one of my favorite snacks, whether it’s between bread or on crackers, it’s simple and reminds me of being a kid. Gotta have some milk with it though! This cake was a fun, nostalgic, and a change of pace from your average butter cream birthday cake.

That brings the 2011 Birthday celebration to an end. Thanks for reading and I can only hope it’s just as exciting next year!

Lee’s Hawaiian Islander: The Sexy Armpit’s Tiki Adventure

Posted on March 14, 2011 by sexyarmpit

SS SEXY ARMPIT CAPTAIN’S LOG

MISSION: BIRTHDAY WEEKEND

FRIDAY MARCH 11, 2011

It wasn’t my intention to go to work on my birthday, so I thought ahead and took the day off. If you follow me on Twitter (@sexyarmpit) you probably already know that my day wasn’t filled with Jaeger bombs or butt cheeks flailing in my face. My birthday included a malfunctioning pneumatic tube at the bank drive thru, getting Appolonia’s “Sex Shooter” stuck in my head all day, and almost driving away with a little Mexican lady who clearly wasn’t finished cleaning my windows at the car wash. I closed the doors and she was still in the back of my car unbeknownst to me, all this while I battled clogged sinuses, and pumped myself with Red Bull because I haven’t been getting proper sleep.

Later in the night the family took a trip to Lee’s Hawaiian Islander in Lyndhurst, NJ for a birthday dinner for myself and my dad whose birthday is a couple of days after. I’ve never been to Lee’s but have always wanted to go to check out the kitchsy ’50s and ’60s Polynesian decor. The whole retro Tiki trend has always fascinated me and it’s been my mission to have a birthday dinner there for a long time. Lee’s has been a Jersey institution for decades and they even had 2 locations for a long time until one burned down several years back.

If you’re into Tiki culture, Lee’s is the most prominent stop for that in New Jersey. It’s such an odd place, but not for the fact that it hasn’t changed one bit since it opened in the early ’70s, more so because they may have the exact same staff from when the opened! The place was fairly empty when I got there at 7pm but I waited for several minutes before anyone asked me if I would like to be seated. From there I don’t have many complaints about the food since it’s exactly what you expect from Polynesian/Chinese type cuisine. Our waiter barely spoke English which made it very difficult to order and ask questions. Only a few minor drawbacks, but it’s well worth it to be able to enjoy such an iconic Tiki restaurant in New Jersey. Overall it was a fun dinner, and such a different experience than any other restaurant in the state.

*Visit Jason Perlow’s Off The Broiler blog for a full review and an excellent pictorial of the interior of Lee’s.

Birthday Nostalgia

Posted on March 11, 2011 by sexyarmpit

“DUKES!” was my answer to everything for a long time when I was a kid. I was talking about Dukes of Hazzard, a show that I was obsessed with as were many other boys my age. My mom would ask me what I was going to ask Santa to bring me for Christmas and I’d reply “DUKES!” super loud. “Yes, but what Dukes thing do you want, Jay?” “A DUKES CAR!” I said to her, strangely in a thick New York type accent. When I was a little kid I had a hard time pronouncing my R’s which lead people to scratch their head when I said words like SMAWF and BAWN which actually meant SMURF and BURN. This is an issue you’ll hear many kids struggle with but usually grow out of. Occasionally that problem comes back when pronouncing the word BREWERY. To me that is the hardest word to say. I don’t remember having issues with the word BIRTHDAY, and what do you know, today is mine!

In this post you are looking at a few photos from a couple of birthdays from when I was a kid. The first one is circa 1982 where you can check out the awesome Dukes of Hazzard cake that was made for me. Back then the world wasn’t as obsessed with the insanely intricate gourmet cake decorating that we are today. Now we have Cake Boss and other shows like it and there’s no cake that can’t be created! Back then this cake was pretty f’n awesome. Through the years I’ve had a bunch of awesome cakes made for me such as Batman cakes, and a Sexy Armpit cake made by my awesome girlfriend.

The above photo was several years later after my I was a full blown WWF addict for a long time. You can see how excited I was to receive the Bobby Heenan action figure. I was so anxious to amass the Heenan Family and without it’s manager they were nothing so I was pumped. Anytime I got a WWF action figure I remember yelling so loud as if it was Silver Banshee’s sonic scream. I still get excited about things but I tend to be more reserved. Nowadays I don’t think I would shriek like that unless I won $47 million dollars. So, times have changed in some respects, but many aspects of my birthday remain exactly the same. For instance, this year I already bought myself a few hot wheels cars (not a General Lee), a couple of action figures, and my birthday weekend will include a TNA Wrestling show in Rahway NJ!

Star Killer Causes a Stellar Explosion in Newark

Posted on March 8, 2011 by sexyarmpit

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhnv2vbKVcw?rel=0]

Crime was the least of my worries on Saturday night as I ventured to QXT’s in Newark NJ to check out the NYC industrial metal band Star Killer in their first official New Jersey appearance. Lead singer Jasin Cadic grew up in New Jersey, so putting on a show for us here in his home state was a priority.

For over 20 years QXT’s has been the only club in the area where you could hear new wave, goth, 80s, industrial, and punk all in the same venue. As a lifelong Jersey resident, one of the reasons why I never went to the club wasn’t because of the crime in Newark, it was mostly because I doubted that I’d fit in. I listen to the genres of music that their DJ’s spin but visually I always figured I’d have to show up looking like I was the lead singer in a Cure cover band. But, upon hearing that Star Killer would be playing a show at QXT’s I threw all my apprehensions out the window because I knew I had to see them live. For months and months I’ve been listening to their EP (which is available HERE for a limited time free of charge) on my iPod and looking at a few videos from YouTube of shows that went down elsewhere. It was New Jersey’s time to feel the power of Star Killer live, and damn it was a spectacle.

I was in luck, it was superhero night at QXT’s. Glowing lights drenched the scantily clad Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy who were dancing all up on each other. It seemed like a typical night for them, although there was no trace of Batman anywhere. There were other girls dressed as characters from the film Kick-Ass as well as a couple of female Robins too. Holy supertight latex Batman!

As we arrived at the bar I noticed our female bartender’s costume. “Black Spiderman, right?” I asked her. “NO! VENOM!” she snapped back at me dumbfounded that I didn’t know who she was supposed to be dressed like. The Sexy Armpit cut her some slack and decided that her blood wasn’t made up of geekoglobin like mine and she was probably unaware of the origin of Venom. When she bought the costume I’m sure it said “Sexy Venom Costume” because every costume for a girl is “Sexy,” but this one really looked more like your basic black Spiderman costume from Secret Wars. Too confusing for untrue believers. Nevertheless, she was completely attentive and appreciative of her tips. My partner in crime for the night, Money Marc and I hung out and soaked in the scene until Star Killer finally stormed the stage.

Just before it was announced that the band was about to go on there were a few people who trickled out to the offshoot rooms in QXT’s. They really missed out because Star Killer stunned the crowd. For those in attendance who stayed to check them out, it was obvious from their banging heads and lots of crowd feedback that they liked what they were witnessing.

Star Killer’s aggressive onslaught of industrial metal featured songs that are immediately memorable and always get me pumped such as their single “As The Sky Is Falling.” As he introduced the song, singer Jasin Cadic even gave a shout to The Sexy Armpit for being big supporters of the band which was pretty f*cking awesome of him. The stage was lit up with green lasers and blue and red lights as Star Killer tore into many songs from their EP as well as an incredible cover of Joan Jett’s “I Hate Myself For Loving You.” If you are as unsure about getting into a new band as I was about heading to QXT’s, get over it and download their EP now! Star Killer will definitely appeal to hard rock and metal fans, especially those who are into Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson and Korn. Click Here for our full review of Star Killer’s debut EP

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvQYNy7geXE?rel=0]

“You Know That New Sound You’re Lookin’ For?…”

Posted on March 4, 2011 by sexyarmpit

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_jNT3vJai0?rel=0]

*After watching this a few times I realized that the creators of this video omitted some major acts! The Duprees from Jersey City, The Misfits from Lodi, as well as The Rascals who originally formed in Garfield NJ. Just read the comments on YouTube in response to this video and you’ll see about 50 more acts that were not included. I guess the video would’ve had to have been 25 minutes rather than 5.

I was tipped off to this video package by my FB friend Sil Atda BadaBing and it showcases musicians and singers who hail from New Jersey. The video has been making the rounds on the Internet recently and it was produced by Charles Ricciardi and Steven Gorelick for the NJ Hall of Fame ceremony. The Sexy Armpit goes on record as saying that Hall of Fames are dumb and meaningless. KISS not being inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame proves that. Better yet, the fact that Madonna and RUN DMC made it in before KISS is preposterous considering that the first KISS album, which has only gotten better with age, was released in 1974! The NJ Hall of Fame is just another excuse to charge an insane amount of money for a ticket to an event where the elite like to kiss each others asses and the rich stick their noses in the air. F*ck that! Great video on music from the Garden State though. And for all of you New Jersey writers and bloggers, The NJ Hall of Fame treated The Armpit like a 2nd rate citizen a couple of years back, so there is one New Jersey organization that should be tossed out with the rest of our trash. They’ll see, The Sexy Armpit is gonna make like Goldie Wilson and clean up this town!

Johnny Walker Is My Homeboy! Randy “The Ram” Is The Man!

Posted on February 27, 2011 by sexyarmpit

If you thought The Wrestler was simply the wrestling version of Rocky, after reading this post you’ll think differently. The immense amount of similarities between 1988’s Homeboy and 2008’s The Wrestler make them more suitable companion films. The Wrestler, came 20 years after Homeboy, but both star Mickey Rourke and are filmed in New Jersey. Now join me at ringside as we pit boxer Johnny Walker vs. former wrestling superstar Randy “The Ram” Robinson…

Both The Wrestler and Homeboy’s New Jersey setting and stirring cinematography transported me directly into their respective main character’s agonizing world. While The Ram was your typical beefed up bleach blonde babyface who has seen better days, Homeboy’s Johnny Walker had shorter hair, and a western flair, but they were both equally beaten down, fading athletes.

Randy the Ram was grappling with his own demons and masking his pain with drugs, but Johnny Walker put himself in danger when he merely stepped into the ring. Walker also continued to align himself with an underhanded promoter prick only out for the purse, Christopher Walken’s Wesley Pendergass. It was easy to feel bad for a weathered, wandering cowboy who was being manipulated by a sleazy low level crook. As Pendergass, Walken is so Walkeny that you’d think he’s doing an impression of himself. This is classic Walken.

During the making of the two films, Rourke had more difficulty adjusting to training to become a wrestler since he had previously been a boxer for several years before pursuing acting. His bio on Wikipedia reveals that he suffered at least two concussions during his early boxing matches. His ring experience in real life clearly lent authenticity to both roles. Rourke even used Guns n Roses “Sweet Child o’ Mine” as his entrance music in his boxing bouts, while Randy “The Ram” Robinson chose to use the same song in the last match against The Ayatollah in The Wrestler.

In 1997 singer Paula Cole begged to know “Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?” Homeboy might not answer that question precisely, but after watching the film it’s obvious that all the cowboys slash boxers have gone to Asbury Park. Considering that Rourke wrote the screenplay for Homeboy (under his nom de plum “Sir Eddie Cook) and that he went back to boxing after his declining movie career, Homeboy becomes even more poignant. Although there’s many differences between boxing and professional wrestling, there’s almost no separation between Rourke, Johnny Walker, and Randy “The Ram” Robinson. Throughout his own boxing career, in addition to concussions, Rourke suffered a number of injuries such as broken bones, a compressed cheekbone, and short term memory loss. All that plus accusations that he was washed up as an actor fueled his performances in these films.

What isn’t fair to Rourke as an actor and a writer is that his performance as Johnny Walker in Homeboy is no less striking than his acclaimed role as Randy “The Ram” Robinson in The Wrestler, but Homeboy quietly resides simply as another minor notch on his filmography. Even without a fraction of the dialogue that Randy the Ram was supplied with, I still rooted for the enigmatic Johnny Walker. Through Rourke’s mannerisms and expressions he portrayed a boxer who was frequently mentally absent, but kept moving in life as well as in the ring. He was quiet and dumb, yet he yearned for the simple embrace of a woman named Ruby, played by actress Debra Feuer, Rourke’s wife at the time.

Mickey Rourke’s personal life and career bled into both Homeboy and The Wrestler. Both films are emotional and heartbreaking and leave you stunned as if you were hit with a knockout blow. I urge you to watch Homeboy to see what could be considered the precursor to The Wrestler. I wonder if Darren Aronofsky has seen it?

*Currently Homeboy is streaming on Netflix
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=thesexarm-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B002DYYGO2&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr

Red Velvet Milk Is Liquefied Lusciousness

Posted on February 23, 2011 by sexyarmpit

No, you aren’t imagining things, Red Velvet Cake Milk by Upstate Farms is indeed a real product. Ever since the Red Velvet trend in cupcakes and birthday cakes started to take the dessert world by storm, companies have tried to weasel the red velvet flavor into everything edible.

To the shock of many, Red Velvet cake doesn’t entice me in any way. What is the appeal of this trendy flavor? Perhaps it’s the visual attraction to its deep red color. One thing is for sure, it’s usually women who have red velvet obsessions. Whatever it is about red velvet, I never thought it would be liquefied and made into a dessert dairy product.

As a skim milk guy, I feel like I’m being super indulgent whenever I drink whole milk. Since this is definitely not a low fat milk, I drank only half the bottle and then saved the other half for the next morning. But it wasn’t because I didn’t enjoy it, quite the opposite actually. The milk was full of flavor, sweet but not sickeningly sweet, and I’d opt for this rather than consuming an actual slice of red velvet cake or a cupcake. I prefer all of my food in liquid form because I’m sort of lazy it makes the whole eating process easier and with less preparation.

The milk’s consistency is mucilaginous, almost like a thick paint for the walls of your newborn girl’s bedroom. It would be weird if red velvet milk tasted like red water, so the thickness made it more of a dessert, especially ice cold. Don’t get freaked out, it will make your spit turn red so you’ll think your mouth is bleeding afterward.

The label on the bottle boasts that it’s ORIGINAL which I found odd because it’s not the like the dairy section is besieged by red velvet cake flavored milk. I must hand it to Upstate Farms and their knack for converting desserts into milk. If you’re not into drinking cake from a bottle but you’re more of a Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream person, you may want to check out The Sexy Armpit’s review of Upstate Farms Mint Chip and Orange Scream Milk.

Lipstick and Cigarettes at The Crossroads in Garwood NJ

Posted on February 20, 2011 by sexyarmpit

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXcEkm1aCwA?rel=0]

On Saturday night February 18th, The Sexy Armpit along with our featured writer Nick “NJ” Holden inhaled some delicious pop rock that was coated in a sweet new wave glaze and dusted with crunchy grooves. Sound good? Well, I’m lying. Dessert wasn’t a priority for us at The Crossroads in Garwood that night, it was actually Lipstick and Cigarettes, the new wave inspired pop rock band.

Surprisingly, out of all the music venues I’ve been to throughout NJ, this was my first time at The Crossroads. I discovered that they serve a TALL, ice cold, Red Bull and vodka. If you’re like me and get tired when you stay up passed 10pm, that’s the drink for you. “It’s 10 pm, do you know where your children are?” MY MOM: “Why yes I do, my son The Sexy Armpit is at The Crossroads in Garwood passed out at a table but not from alcohol, it’s just because he gets sleepy.” Once the band hit the stage at around 10:45, I no longer needed the liquid crack because tunes like “White Tie Affair,”and “Automatic” energized the heck out of me and so did their shout out to The Sexy Armpit! Thanks guys!

This was the band’s last show of the winter and I’m glad I got to check them out once again. Clad in an outfit straight out of GQ, frontman Chris Orsi’s lively mood was contagious. Erik’s drum beats kept me well stimulated. Also elevating the crowd was bassist Sara who was having a blast on stage and could not stop smiling in between songs. Maybe it’s because of the rumors I’ve heard about a keytar being incorporated into their repertoire very soon? Hopefully one day we’ll see Lipstick and Cigarettes “play the keytar on the MTV!”

@LipsNCigs on Twitter or Like them on Facebook
Also check out iTunes to download Lipstick and Cigarettes brand new EP!

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.52: Grammy’s Top 10

Posted on February 19, 2011 by sexyarmpit

I’d rather watch someone scrape paint off a garage door than watch The Grammy Awards. Every year they are a complete waste of time. I’m usually against the idea of award shows and I tend to trash all of them, but I actually did enjoy the last American Music Awards. They kept it fresh and attempted to make it entertaining. My problem is that I left my musical taste back in 1988. The Grammy’s lost me at Lady Antebellum. Eminem doesn’t impress me and neither does Rhianna. The Arcade Fire confounded me when they were musical guests on SNL. I’m not going to become a fan of a band just because it gives me street cred or because that’s what the hipsters are doing. Does the fact that I’ve never even heard of Mumford and Sons mean I’ve been living under a rock? Not to sound old, but when I was young if a band named themselves Mumford and Sons they better be a magical troupe of Muppets otherwise they would be made fun of mercilessly.

Fortunately, the producers of The Grammys were wise enough to ask David Letterman to provide one of his classic Top 10 lists for the broadcast. Those few minutes listening to Dave rattle off one liners was the most entertaining part of the show. The number 7 joke even made reference to Trenton, NJ, and even though it wasn’t as funny as some of the other entries it was still cool.

TNA Wrestling Comes Back to Rahway NJ!

Posted on February 10, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Click Here for Ticket Information

Whether you are a hardcore McMahon disciple or you’re strictly into ROH and other indy organizations, the fact is that TNA Wrestling puts one hell of an awesome house show. Presently, the Nashville TN based wrestling organization has their show on the road and will be hauling it up to The Rahway Recreational Center in New Jersey on March 12th. The last time TNA came to The Rahway Rec Center in September, the air conditioning wasn’t working and the place was like a sauna. Words can’t describe to you the melange of smells wafting around that gym. I temporarily changed my name to The Sweaty Armpit that night.

Luckily they weren’t lying and the show they put on actually was full of non-stop action. If TNA could only capture that excitement and put it on TV, they would probably see a ratings boost. It reminded me of the old days of ECW, it was simple, no ridiculous pyro or lasers, just wrestling! Perhaps the reason why the Rahway TNA shows are successful has something to do with their association with the local Jersey All Pro Wrestling organization.

The best part about a TNA house show is that they actually follow the story lines and occasionally you’ll witness a title exchange. At the last show Elizabeth NJ’s Jay Lethal won back the X-Division title from Amazing Red in front of his hometown crowd! As Gorilla Monsoon used to say, the place went bananas! Mick Foley also showed up and ignited the crowd upon dropping some trivia that Randy “The Ram” Robinson from The Wrestler was from Rahway just before he confronted the team of The Shore (Robbie E. and Cookie). Unlike at WWE shows, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to try and get autographs and maybe a picture with your favorite TNA star. And don’t be concerned about ticket prices either; starting at $23 bucks, they are very reasonable. It definitely beats listening to Michael Cole and watching The Miz.

Author: sexyarmpit