Sludge Central

Zombies + Rocky Horror = Killer Saturday Night!

Posted on June 16, 2011 by sexyarmpit

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8f84gmUQXc?rel=0]

Do you have plans on Saturday, and if so, do those plans involve transvestites, time warps, and zombies? There’s a good chance that they don’t so you should pencil in The Home of Happiness’ Rocky Horror ZOMBIE NIGHT at the Bellevue Theater in Montclair! New Jersey’s very own Home of Happiness Rocky Horror group is based out of Montclair, and if you ever planned on attending one of their shows but just didn’t get around to it, then Saturday night June 18th is the night you want to go! Zombies and Rocky Horror, yup, the forces have finally combined! There’s going to be a zombie costume contest, as well as themed costumes and dance numbers. It sounds like it’s going to be complete MADNESS! If you’re not convinced yet, the trailer posted above will seal the deal. The awesome preview video was created by Paul and Dana from The Home of Happiness.

If you do attend, please let me know how it was! As I previously mentioned, my Saturday night is all booked up so unfortunately I’m going to miss it. Vince McMahon’s got me by the balls again, but this time I’m corrupting my 6 year old nephew with WWE action!

RSVP on Facebook

Rocky Horror fans may also like this from The Sexy Archives:

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 22: The Home of Happiness

www.HomeofHappiness.com
www.NJRocky.com

Classic WWF/WWE Event Cards From New Jersey #7

Posted on June 15, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Pretty convincing, huh? I made this in the style of the old WWF Event cards

that were slipped into the WWF magazine programs at live events. They no longer print
these up so feel free to print your own if you’re going to the show!

This WWE event card can’t possibly be considered classic. So, before you go running your mouth, keep in mind that not only did I create this event card myself in Photoshop, but the event hasn’t even happened yet! You’ll notice the event card lists the matches that will be taking place at Saturday’s WWE show at Izod Center in East Rutherford, NJ. I’m bringing my nephew to his first WWE event so I’m hoping it’s a good one, although I have my doubts. My main objective with making my own WWE event card for this show is to highlight an aspect of WWE that I absolutely abhor.

What makes you want to see a movie? Most times it’s a simple preview trailer that you see before another movie or on TV while other times you may have just heard good things about a film from a friend. Either way, a professional wrestling event is fairly similar to a movie in that way. No matter how much the WWE tries to distance itself from the word “wrestling,” that’s what it is and that’s what it always will be. If there ever comes a day when WWE Superstars actually cease wrestling in a ring, then it will simply become a TV show. But even the best TV shows air previews of their new fall season, their next episode, their season finale, etc. How else will viewers decide if they want to watch? How else will they even know about a new show or an upcoming movie?

Somewhere in the late ’90s, WWE stopped airing their Pay Per View promos that informed the audience all about what matches they would see at the next event. For instance, The Wrestlemania Report, was merely a few minutes and was hosted by Gene Okerlund, Sean Mooney, or Todd Pettengill…take your pick! The reports were fun, well produced, and always geared me up for the next big event. Seeing the card of matches being reported in a serious newsworthy way added significance to the matches. Occasionally just the sheer amount of matches would get me excited.

The modern day WWE could use help in selling their Pay Per Views, so bringing back a report like this would help. I want to know who’s going to be wrestling, why they are wrestling, what belt is on the line, what stipulations are in the match, and drop some history on us about previous bouts involving these competitors. This isn’t rocket science, this is the lowest common denominator! Why do you think people actually read Amazon reviews? Because they are trying to decide whether to buy a product. Why should I buy the WWE’s next piece of shit Pay Per View?

Capitol Punishment is the next WWE event and it happens live this Sunday. Unfortunately, I can only tell you 2 or 3 of the matches. Why is that? Mostly because WWE consistently fails to promote the matches at the next event unless it’s a week before the event, and they’re also miserable at making me care about any of the feuds going on at any time. This time around all we got was an abysmal, choppy, and lame attempt at humor where WWE Superstars were cut into press conference footage with Barack Obama. It told us nothing about the event AT ALL! Until the 2000’s, I was known to get really excited about the upcoming Pay Per Views because the matches were usually must see and WWE touted them as such every chance they had. Even the under cards added value to the events. Nowadays, I turn on Raw without knowing any matches, and it seems like they come up with them as the night goes along. They sure as hell don’t bother telling us what matches are going to happen next week on Raw, that would be too much to ask. Usually they don’t even know themselves.

We WWE fans continue to watch even though we have no idea what’s in store for us. Unless you’re a 6 year old kid like my nephew, you’re probably going to walk away underwhelmed. I suppose they don’t want to back themselves into a corner. I still think that a simple Wrestlemania Report would work better than telling every commentator to say “It’s going to be the GREATEST Wrestlemania in HISTORY,” because they say that every year, they just don’t tell us why it’s going to be.

Baby It’s You on Broadway – Review

Posted on June 13, 2011 by sexyarmpit

The Sexy Armpit does get ribbed for going to Broadway shows occasionally. Reactions I’ve gotten after telling people I bought tickets to see Baby It’s You on Broadway ranged from “Oh, you’re going to love it!” to “What? YOU bought tickets to see that??” Baby It’s You is not as boisterous as Rock of Ages, or as sensational as Phantom of the Opera, but after seeing on Sunday, June 12th, I found it to be a lively journey through the course of The Shirelles stardom led by record executive Florence Greenberg.

Even though Greenberg hailed from Passaic New Jersey, she was nothing like the women you see on The Housewives of New Jersey. She was a typical doting housewife who served her husband like a robot. Eventually Greenberg sought out something more from her life and decided she wanted to work in the music business. In the process of starting her own record label she left her husband and disregarded her children while dealing with her new found passion. Tony Award Winner Beth Leavel’s performance as Greenberg is first rate as we watch her ascend from the doldrums of her wifely duties in the late ’50s to prominence as a record exec.

Originally, the success of Greenberg’s second label, Scepter Records, was largely based on the New Jersey girl group The Shirelles. They were the first girl group to have a number one hit on the Billboard Hot 100, and they were even covered by The Beatles…twice! Not bad for four graduates of Passaic High School. Baby It’s You is unique because it’s telling a story that isn’t widely known, especially to a younger audience. Essentially it’s the more obscure, female version of Jersey Boys. The show unearths the tale of a frustrated Jewish housewife from New Jersey who with a little creativity and chutzpah radically changed her life and made her dreams as well as The Shirelles dreams come true.

Personally, I knew almost all of the songs in the performed in the play, but I had no idea who Florence Greenberg was or that The Shirelles were such an influential group. The pace of the plot is boosted by the sound of several familiar songs that you may not even realize were originally performed by The Shirelles. The whole production is a deserving tribute to a group that predated The Supremes, and whose influences are even seen in more recent acts like Destiny’s Child. No matter your age, chances are, you’ll know at least half of the songs in the play and they’ll all wind up sticking in your head. Here’s just a few that are featured by The Shirelles: “Met Him on a Sunday,” “Dedicated to the One I Love,” “Will You Love Me Tomorrow,” “Soldier Boy,” and of course “Baby It’s You.”

Unfortunately the amount of songs crammed into the play is one of my only real gripes with it. The previous list of songs is only about one quarter of the songs featured. Not only will you hear The Shirelles, but also songs by Leslie Gore (played by former Rock of Ages star Kelli Barrett), Dionne Warwick, The Kingsmen, The Monotones, and Gene Chandler among many others. Over stuffing the production with song and dance numbers actually made it go on a little too long.

If you’re one of those people who are worried about what people will say if you decide to go to a show on Broadway, cut the crap and GO! Whatever music you’re into, it doesn’t matter. The Shirelles were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1996, so if you consider yourself a serious fan of American music, that’s reason enough to see it. Baby It’s You will take you for a fun and nostalgic spin through the rock and roll landscape of the late ’50s and early ’60s.

Official Site
Broadhurst Theater
235 West 44th Street
New York NY 10036

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgRyxuGZvcs?rel=0]

Ad Jerseum 11: McDonald’s Toast To Jersey Girls

Posted on June 10, 2011 by sexyarmpit

McDonald’s Billboard after exit 12 on 287 North in NJ

“Toast Your Town” hardly sounds like a slogan to promote Big Macs. That’s because this time, Mcdonald’s isn’t pushing their burgers and fries. They are promoting their various “McCafe” specialty drinks and shakes via an ad campaign popping up throughout the Tri-State area. I’ve seen billboards from this campaign on major highways in New Jersey while there are also other local minded “Toast Your Town” ads around New York and New Jersey.

I pulled over and snapped a picture of this ad with the iPhone while driving on 287 Northbound. The billboard ad shows a hand holding a Frozen Strawberry Lemonade and toasting to “The Original Jersey Girl.” Perhaps I’m reading to deeply into it, but it seems to be attempting to appeal to the girls who lived in Jersey with big hair and listened to Bon Jovi and Skid Row in the ’80s. Oh wait, that was all of them. What I mean is, McDonald’s knows that many Jerseyans are fed up with shows like Jersey Shore featuring a couple of cast members who aren’t even from Jersey. How authentic! Now, if McD’s wanted to be really authentic they would start offering a Lime Rickey, a drink that’s become synonymous with Wildwood, NJ.

With a closer look you’ll notice there is a faint picture of the Statue of Liberty who is apparently the original Jersey Girl they are alluding to. Unfortunately, I have to put the kabosh on this whole idea because even after the hullabaloo that the island she sits on belongs to New Jersey, Miss Liberty is still technically a New Yorker.

As we learn in Anchorman, milk is a bad choice to drink on a hot summer day, so I’m sure the Frozen Strawberry Lemonade that McD’s is touting in the billboard pictured above, is slightly better. It’s not my drink of choice, but it may be yours, so keep in mind that it packs in 250 calories and 65 grams of sugar, but also offers a whopping 154 mgs of Vitamin C.

What do you think? Are advertisements geared to your own home state or city more effective than those that aren’t? Does this make you want to rush out and buy a drink at McDonald’s?

Simon Cowell’s X-Factor at the Prudential Center in Newark

Posted on June 9, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Reality shows bothered me since the first ever Real World on MTV aired in 1992. I’ll admit that I was into the first few seasons of American Idol, but then I dropped off like an Acme anvil over a cartoon cliff. Reality shows killed sitcoms and that is why I will forever hate them. “Give me Webster, or give me Death!” – Me.

My built in hatred of reality shows had me disgusted as soon as I heard that Simon Cowell was bringing The X-Factor to the U.S. There’s no need for another televised singing competition. Think about it, when did you watch Star Search? I remember flicking channels and seeing it when nothing else was on and I was bored out of my skull. Usually it aired at some weird time, like 1:00 PM on a Sunday. Nope, not X-Factor. I’m sure it will be front and center in Fox’s fall lineup.

The Sexy Armpit attended The X-Factor auditions held last night at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ. After waiting outside for an hour in 95 degree heat on a line nearly as long as one for a Justin Bieber kissing booth, we were finally let into the building. From there we were told to choose our own seats, a task that could’ve turned into mass chaos, but went surprisingly smooth.

The M.C, who happened to be a Jersey guy, went through his shtick and told us NOT to BOO the singers. WHAT? Isn’t that what we all do at home when watching these lame shows? If we don’t like someone we should be able to communicate that. I hear the Idol audience booing all the time. Aw, how sweet, The X-Factor is being all tender and compassionate. Simon Cowell is running the damn show! Simon, you better not have instituted this stupid no Booing policy.

The judges, Simon, Paula, Nicole Scherzinger, and L.A Reid, all walked out to their table in a swirl of lights and maniacal applause to Guns N Roses “Live and Let Die.” Simon wasn’t nearly as entertaining as he was on Idol, hopefully it’s because it was merely the audition phase. Paula’s responses were still all over the place, but more constructive. Nicole sounded like she was stoned out of her mind on crystal meth. Everything she said sounded like she was on a higher plane of existence. Maybe she was nervous since it was her first time judging on the show. L.A Reid was actually the best part because he cut to the chase. He’s an icon of the music business and someone who can provide an expert perspective to the singers.

Did they find any talent in Newark, NJ? Hell yeah they did! Some of the singers actually thrilled the audience to the point of standing ovations. One Brooklyn woman resurrected Billy Vera’s “At This Moment,” and blew the roof off the Pru Center. Needless to say, she made it through as did many other superb singers, many of whom hailed from The Garden State. But don’t you worry, there were enough laughable performances to drop into those promos that will suck you into watching the show.

TICKET GIVEAWAY: Get Dirty with The Dirty Pearls!

Posted on June 8, 2011 by sexyarmpit

There’s been many famous PEARLS throughout history, but how many of them would you actually want to get DIRTY with? Starting today right here at The Sexy Armpit we have your chance to score two tickets to experience The Dirty Pearls live in concert at their huge “Who’s Coming Back to Who” Video Premiere Party at the Bowery Ballroom on JUNE 30th, also featuring the finest rock bands NYC has to offer Star Killer, Panzie, and Sweet Fix. You’ll not only see all these bands rock out, but you’ll also witness special guests AND the premiere of The Dirty Pearls epic video for their latest single “Who’s Coming Back To Who?”

Below is a list of famous Pearls throughout history. All you need to do is choose who you would like to get down and dirty with and email us a sentence stating why you chose that person. Example: “I’d like to get DIRTY with Jizzy Pearl because I wanted to f*ck him when I was 12″ or if you don’t swing that way then, “I’d like to get Dirty with Pearl S. Buck because her last name rhymes with —-” You catch my drift. The funniest or most creative answer wins! Feel free to come up with your own. HAVE FUN!

SEND YOUR SUBMISSION TO: SEXYARMPIT@COMCAST.NET

SUBJECT LINE: THE DIRTY PEARLS

Here are your options:

1. Minnie Pearl – Country comedienne known for always wearing a hat with a price tag hanging from it and starring in the TV show Hee Haw. Her pickup line to a young “feller” was “How-w-w-DEE-E-E-E.”

2. Jizzy Pearl – Rock Singer best known as the front man of Love/Hate, and formerly of RATT, L.A Guns, and Adler’s Appetite. Pretty sure his nickname says it all.

3. Pearl S. Buck – Pulitzer Prize winning author of the sleep inducing The Good Earth. The First women to win the Nobel Prize in Literature. If “descriptions of peasant life in China” turn you on, then Pearl S. Buck will blow your mind.

4. Earl “The Pearl” Monroe – A true basketball pioneer, Monroe is a Hall of Fame Point Guard who played for the New York Knicks and the Baltimore Bullets. He was great at handling balls if that helps sway your decision in any way.

5. Pearl Gallagher – The 3rd maid on Diff’rent Strokes played by Mary Jo Catlett. Pearl was sort of like a mix of Mrs. Garrett and Julia Child. After the crushing departures of Edna and Adelaide, Pearl sure knew how to fill the void if you know what I mean.

CONTEST WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED 6/20. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BYPASS THIS CRAZY CONTEST THEN PURCHASE TICKETS HERE!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oF9MPf6BP90?rel=0]

SIXX A.M “This Is Gonna Hurt” Review

Posted on June 5, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Nikki Sixx seems to be more passionate about creating new music with SIXX A.M rather than with Motley Crue. After reading Sixx’s latest book also titled This Is Gonna Hurt, it’s obvious that lead singer James Michael is a conduit for Sixx’s musical ideas. There’s a ton of creative energy between the two of them and SIXX A.M’s accompanying album “This is Gonna Hurt” is like a Lazy Susan waiting for you to spin it around and savor all of it’s treats.

The reason why you can take my opinion about the newest SIXX A.M album seriously is because I was a fan of Motley growing up in the ’80s and I always gave it my best shot to get into all of Nikki’s side projects. Usually they weren’t very memorable. I actually enjoyed Brides of Destruction when they first formed but listening back after all these years, their tunes don’t hold up that well. When SIXX A.M hit with The Heroin Diaries not only was I blown away, but the world of rock music was pretty stoked as well. Here was a truly inspired album with feelings behind the music, all conveyed through a group of extremely talented musicians and a kick ass lead singer.

Truthfully though, a lot of the songs on Heroin Diaries were a little too dark for my taste. The more upbeat “Life is Beautiful” and “Pray For Me” are two outstanding tracks and I had my doubts that they would be able to surpass the success of those singles on their next effort. Man was I wrong! If there’s ever been a list of bands who have released a second album that eclipsed their first, let SIXX AM be in the top 5. This is Gonna Hurt has it all. Every track is a discovery and worth putting on your iPod.

This is Gonna Hurt shows that the band has expanded creatively and musically. It seems they went in a more mainstream direction this time, but the nature of the music is brighter and hopeful. The music that went along with The Heroin Diaries was appropriately darker in tone, but I think that’s what hindered it from being an outstanding album as a whole. This is Gonna Hurt succeeds because it’s one of those albums for me where I don’t need to skip any tracks. So, there’s no Sophomore slump for SIXX A.M. And although I’m already waiting to see what they cook up for us next, I’ll share with you some of the highlights of this killer summer album.

The title track “This is Gonna Hurt” is a straight ahead fast paced head bopping and fist pumping rocker. Then, on “Lies Of The Beautiful People” James Michael’s voice ascends to Myles Kennedy heights. “Live Forever” is epic and radio friendly with a little bit of My Chemical Romance sprinkled in. It also features a Slash level guitar solo by DJ Ashba. “Sure Feels Right” is one of the best tracks on the album and it’s not even a hard rocker. It reminds me of Tommy Lee and Butch Walker’s “Good Times” and it’s just as good of a time. It has a breezy quality that’s perfect for driving around on a sunny day with the windows down. “Smile” is a sweet love ballad that will make Train shit their pants in fear, but it’s still OK for dudes to listen to. The “doo do doos” in “Help Is On The Way” has hints of Marvelous 3 and helps make for another strong, rocking track. “Oh My God” mixes Springsteen caliber storytelling with a vast U2 style musical atmosphere and a guitar solo reminiscent of Richie Sambora’s on Bon Jovi’s “Never Say Goodbye.” You also won’t be disappointed in the infectious and colossal “Goodbye My Friends,” which is what I’m saying to you right now!

http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=thesexarm-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B004VQK9XW&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr

Spock Crash Lands In The Sexy Armpit

Posted on June 3, 2011 by sexyarmpit

http://static.issuu.com/webembed/viewers/style1/v2/IssuuReader.swf

A long time ago on a blog in cyberspace, Chunky B. of Eclectorama sent his Spock action figure off on a journey around the United States. Chunky called Spock’s trip SPOCKATION and many of his readers signed up to be his host when he reached their state. It’s been nearly 2 years and I figured Spock was never going to reach New Jersey, but a few weeks back…FINALLY SPOCK CAME TO THE SEXY ARMPIT! Spock, myself and Miss Sexy Armpit had a grand old time as we showed him many of the pop culture spots around The Garden State. There were so many more places I could’ve brought him but I was only supposed to have him for a week and I exceeded that limit by more than a few weeks! Spock’s trip is detailed in a commemorative comic book that I created for him so he always remembers The Sexy Armpit! You can read the comic book above in the reader or go to Eclectorama and read it there! Thanks to Chunky B for letting Spock stay with us here in New Jersey!

The Sexy Armpit Quoted In Film Journal International!

Posted on June 3, 2011 by sexyarmpit

The Sexy Armpit quoted in the 3/23/2011 post at Film Journal International

OK, so, I admit that I Googled “The Sexy Armpit.” This fun little activity actually yielded a result worth blogging about. I discovered that Film Journal International quoted some of my thoughts on the new AMC Dine-In Theater that opened in Menlo Park Mall in Edison NJ. Thanks to FJI, because this was pretty damn cool. I give credit to writer Andreas Fuchs for having the bravery to cite The Sexy Armpit in a professional film journal! You can read the whole article HERE.

Here’s the background: Last December I was invited to a preview of the new AMC Dine In Theater that was about to open a few days later. Considering that I worked at this theater for several years I thought it would be interesting to see how it evolved. My post “Dine-In Theaters? AMC Newest Movie Theater Concept” received a ton of hits and people I know actually began to ask me questions about the theater as if I was the authority on it! The funny part was, I only stayed to check the place out. I had no interest in actually eating in the movie theater or experiencing it the way they wanted me to in order to review it.

I maintain that it’s split 50/50 between people who love the idea and those who have no interest. I have no problem commeding AMC for trying something new, even though it’s an idea that has been around for decades, but I’d prefer to chow down and watch movies in the comfort of my own home.

Roy Rogers Still Exists in Pine Beach, NJ

Posted on June 2, 2011 by sexyarmpit

This picture was featured on FFD’s Random Tater Pic of the Day #4

You can find Roy Rogers cuisine in a few Turnpike rest stops in New Jersey, but a freestanding Roy Rogers? It must be a mirage! No, it’s real. There’s an actual bonafide Roy Rogers near Toms River NJ in a town called Pine Beach, and Ray, a friend of Glenn Walker’s awesome French Fry Diary, sent in a picture to the FFD to prove it.

Out of the 6 Roy Rogers locations in New Jersey, 5 of them are in service plazas. The Pine Beach location isn’t even listed on their official site which means they must be a Rogue Roy Rogers!

Here’s a link to ALL of Glenn’s investigations into the best French Fries in New Jersey