action figures Archives - Page 2 of 3

Batman Arkham City Action Figure Giveaway!!!

Posted on January 7, 2012 by sexyarmpit

The title of the post says it all. We are giving away a set of DC Direct Arkham City Series 1 Batman and Robin figures. These are sold out all over and quickly becoming collector’s items. You don’t have to jump through hoops to win these either. To enter you have two options. All you need to do is:

1) Follow us on Twitter @sexyarmpit and Retweet “@sexyarmpit Batman Arkham City Action Figure Giveaway: http://tinyurl.com/6nw2j9t“

2) If you refuse to join Twitter like some people I know, then just e-mail sexyarmpit@comcast.net with the subject line ARKHAM and you will be entered.

Winner will be chosen randomly using a generator and will be contacted for shipping information. Winner will be announced on 1/31/2011. Thanks for swinging by The Sexy Armpit!

G.I JERSEY: Dreadnoks On The Jersey Shore!

Posted on August 24, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Marvel’s G.I Joe comic book line (1982-1994) used New Jersey as a location quite often. In reality, to set a Joe story in Jersey isn’t all that far fetched. New Jersey is home to many Air Force, Army, Navy, and Coast Guard bases and training centers including McGuire, Dix, and Picatinny to name a few. Also in Jersey, the shore town of Sandy Hook is not only home to a famous nude beach, but at one time was used as the nation’s first proving ground. Coincidentally, the Sandy Hook Proving Ground was eventually moved to Aberdeen, Maryland which is where G.I Joe issue #81’s story begins.

I always knew Cobra was underhanded, but a lame real estate scheme? Please don’t tell me that Cobra Commander was having secret dealings with real estate infomercial guru Dean Graziosi, whom as I’ve mentioned many times in the past, has me convinced that he was formerly a woman and had a sex change operation. If the Commander did engage in a business relationship with that swindler then I’d lose all respect for him.

Regardless, Cobra Commander did indeed strike up a deal which lead to the Dreadnoks getting sent to Jersey. In the issue, families of Cobra employees get hauled on a ship to an undisclosed area somewhere in the U.S. We find out that a small span of the Jersey Shore, the fictional Broca Beach, winds up being the secret location where the families are being moved to. The Dreadnoks are basically instructed to be make sure they are moved discreetly. Fat chance with those hell raisers as your point men. Imagine that, The Dreadnoks – what a welcome wagon!

The idea of the Dreadnoks in Jersey is pretty f’n rad. The ‘noks have a long history in Jersey as they’ve set up many hideouts there since the gang’s inception. In this issue, The Dreadnoks are actually pictured speeding down the infamous New Jersey Turnpike while wrecking up toll booths in the process. Now that’s pretty badass.

Notice the Haunted Castle at the end of the Broca Beach Boardwalk!

We shouldn’t worry our little heads about Cobra and his Dreadnoks plot at Broca Beach because Mutt and Battleforce 2000 are on the job. As we learned in the first installment of G.I JERSEY, Mutt is a native of the Garden State so why would he need maps of the highways? Jersey highways may seem a little convoluted if you’re a first time visitor, but navigating NJ is pretty damn cut and dry in comparison to other states in the country. It’s true that in Jersey all you need to know is “what exit?” Someone get Mutt a damn GPS!

You may be wondering, what the hell is Battleforce 2000? Well, BF200 was a specialized crew of Joes who had high tech armor, weapons, and vehicles. Debuting in 1987, it was one of of the gimmicks that used to turn me off about action figure lines and cartoons. With most action figure lines back then and their cartoon or comic counterpart, there always seemed to be some zany new look for the characters with a fancy new group moniker as an excuse to sell more figures.

G.I JERSEY: Mutt and Junkyard

Posted on July 15, 2011 by sexyarmpit

GI Joe was right behind Masters of The Universe, Super Powers, Star Wars and WWF in my world when I was growing up. Although I wasn’t as obsessed with G.I Joe as some of my friends were, I watched the cartoon religiously and had a decent load of Joe figures. I remember being so envious of my neighbor who got the U.S.S Flagg aircraft carrier for Christmas the year it came out. I never had any of the playsets but I did have several vehicles. My favorite characters were Zartan and his Dreadnoks. I have yet to watch 2009’s G.I Joe The Rise of Cobra feature film but I think I’ll have to give it a shot since I’ve been on a Joe kick lately. Oh, and if you’re wondering, I did indeed make the G.I Jersey graphic, you dig it?

Recently I’ve been watching my DVDs of the original G.I Joe cartoon. Although the 2 early mini-series were a little slow and a bit disjointed story wise, the series as a whole is legendary. After I recently viewed a few episodes of the original Transformers cartoon, I determined that the original G.I Joe cartoon holds up way better.

Mutt and Junkyard 25th anniversary figure via GIJoeFigures.net

In every episode of G.I Joe there were so many cool characters both good and evil who could be brought into your action figure adventures by a mere trip to Toys R Us and some pathetic begging. All the figures had a file card on the back of their package so you were able to find out facts otherwise unknown about the character. I thought it would be interesting to scour YoJoe.com and randomly click on their comprehensive database of G.I Joe file cards to see if any of the characters were from New Jersey.

Could you believe that only 3 or 4 clicks into my research I just happened to pick the Joe K-9 Dog Handler, MUTT, who was born in Iselin, New Jersey! Mutt and his appropriately named dog Junkyard made a cool team. You can read more about him on his file cards:

Perhaps a modernized version of MUTT would be Indian American? Since the 2000 Census, Iselin, NJ has had the 2nd highest percentage of Indian Americans in the United States. In fact, just like New York City has Little Italy and Chinatown, Iselin, NJ has “Little India,” which is a stretch of town filled with authentic Indian shops and restaurants. यो जो – That’s Yo Joe in Hindi.

’89 MUTT file card courtesy of YoJoe.com

WINNER of The Green Hornet Giveaway!

Posted on April 2, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Ron Cafferty of Edison, NJ has just added some Green Hornet toys, hat, etc. courtesy of Carls Jr. to his collection! Congratulations Ron! His name was chosen from the list of entries using Random.org. As always, thank you for reading and taking part in the giveaway!

Birthday Nostalgia

Posted on March 11, 2011 by sexyarmpit

“DUKES!” was my answer to everything for a long time when I was a kid. I was talking about Dukes of Hazzard, a show that I was obsessed with as were many other boys my age. My mom would ask me what I was going to ask Santa to bring me for Christmas and I’d reply “DUKES!” super loud. “Yes, but what Dukes thing do you want, Jay?” “A DUKES CAR!” I said to her, strangely in a thick New York type accent. When I was a little kid I had a hard time pronouncing my R’s which lead people to scratch their head when I said words like SMAWF and BAWN which actually meant SMURF and BURN. This is an issue you’ll hear many kids struggle with but usually grow out of. Occasionally that problem comes back when pronouncing the word BREWERY. To me that is the hardest word to say. I don’t remember having issues with the word BIRTHDAY, and what do you know, today is mine!

In this post you are looking at a few photos from a couple of birthdays from when I was a kid. The first one is circa 1982 where you can check out the awesome Dukes of Hazzard cake that was made for me. Back then the world wasn’t as obsessed with the insanely intricate gourmet cake decorating that we are today. Now we have Cake Boss and other shows like it and there’s no cake that can’t be created! Back then this cake was pretty f’n awesome. Through the years I’ve had a bunch of awesome cakes made for me such as Batman cakes, and a Sexy Armpit cake made by my awesome girlfriend.

The above photo was several years later after my I was a full blown WWF addict for a long time. You can see how excited I was to receive the Bobby Heenan action figure. I was so anxious to amass the Heenan Family and without it’s manager they were nothing so I was pumped. Anytime I got a WWF action figure I remember yelling so loud as if it was Silver Banshee’s sonic scream. I still get excited about things but I tend to be more reserved. Nowadays I don’t think I would shriek like that unless I won $47 million dollars. So, times have changed in some respects, but many aspects of my birthday remain exactly the same. For instance, this year I already bought myself a few hot wheels cars (not a General Lee), a couple of action figures, and my birthday weekend will include a TNA Wrestling show in Rahway NJ!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 41: Four Horsemen Studios

Posted on March 3, 2010 by sexyarmpit

t-shirt,action figures,four horsemen,new jersey

The Four Horsemen Studios T-Shirts

available at Store Horsemen

Are you basking in the detailed glory of your latest action figure issued from your Club Eternia subscription? You better kneel down and give a resounding “We’re not worthy!” to the design team of The Four Horsemen (That’s Chris, Jim, Cornboy, and Eric, NOT Ric, Arn, Ole and Tully). They are responsible for designing amazing figures for the Masters of the Universe Classics and DC Universe Classics line of figures as well as many other toys, busts, statues, and figures that run the gamut of fanboy properties. You name it, they’ve designed figures from it; Batman, The Crow, Ghostbusters, Hellboy, Harry Potter, Fantastic Four, Betty Boop, and Star Wars. Chances are, you have many figures in your collection that were designed by Four Horsemen Studios. Last year, they celebrated their 10th year of redefining the concept of an action figure.

The Four Horsemen revolutionized toy collecting for us “big kids,” and for you guys reading this they gave us ammunition to throw back at stupid people who call action figures dolls. You know there’s some idiot in your life who will not stop calling them that insidious term, occasionally just to piss you off. Do me a favor, the next time they pull such an egregious stunt, grab them forcefully by both ears and make them take a look at one of the Horsemen’s figures and the amount of painstaking effort that went into transforming a hunk of plastic into a striking likeness bearing minute aspects of the character.

The figures and busts created by the Four Horsemen should be considered “toy art” rather than just “toys.” For example, the new Masters of the Universe Classics line has helped evolve the concept of what an action figure is. They went from tiny hunks of assembly line molds to actually embodying each characters specific traits, authentic attire, and accessories. If you took a handful of He-Man figures in the early ’80s and popped their heads off, you’d have a bunch of the same exact plastic molds, save for a few with different skin colors. It’s a totally different game now. Now these figures look so damn good you just want to display them in a glass case rather than put them into battle. But, if the day does arrive that the good people of Eternia decide they must engage in an all out battle with the Evil Warriors, they full articulation will help them to kick even more ass. Those old figures couldn’t even bend their knees or elbows! How can He-Man defeat Skeletor when all he can do is rotate his torso?

Today, you can be proud to show off your action figure collection because these figures are worthy of admiring. I was actually able to show my appreciation to at least one of the members of the Four Horsemen, Eric “Cornboy” Mayse. When I worked in radio, I played tunes for Cornboy and the other Horsemen as they often tuned in during late nights at their design studio. You can check out more of The Four Horsemen’s unrivaled designs at their official site: www.fourhorsemen.biz.

The Legend of The Headless Ahsoka Tano

Posted on September 21, 2009 by sexyarmpit

This gives a whole new meaning to her nickname “Snips”

You may find it hard to believe that I DIDN’T find this headless Ahsoka Tano action figure in the Sleepy Hollow Wal-Mart, or even the one on the planet Shili. What other place besides New Jersey would offer up a sight as savage as a plastic statue of Anakin Skywalker’s decapitated little padawan to impressionable young children wandering wide-eyed through the toy aisles with their parents? How does a parent explain this one?

Well, if you were me, and there’s an enormous chance that you’re not, the majority of you with children will NOT reply in this manner, but those with quick wit and a bit of Star Wars swerve will be prepared to shoot back with a killer automatic response: “Well, if you knew anything about Star Wars you little prick, then perhaps you would know that Darth Sidious slashed her head right off her kneck with one swing of his lightsaber.” Then since you’re still in the Star Wars aisle, just for effect, you could pretend you’re Sidious, grab a toy saber, and proceed to swing at your kids neck, in a playful fashion of course. At the end of this dramatization of such a horrific epitaph, you could cap it all off with, “That’s why you need to do your homework.”

“So if I don’t do my homework Darth Sidious is going to chop my head off with a lightsaber, daddy?” “Yes kiddo, that’s exactly what will happen, or he may have Anakin do it for him depending on how his arthritis is that day.” Once you start convincing them that their grandfather is actually Darth Sidious, I think they’ll get the picture.

With merely a few minutes of consultation with the Bat-Computer, and perhaps some fiddling with the Bat-Hyperspectrographic Analyzer, I was able to deduce that this figure was tampered with. On the lower left corner of the card you’ll see a few marks that indicate the bubble was cut. It looked like a bonafide error while I was in the store, but after walking around the entire store with the figure in my shopping cart, I finally realized that this was no error, this action figure’s head was amputated by a father who was out to set a creative example for his kids. Remember to always use The Legend of The Headless Ahsoka Tano story on your kids folks, it always works.

“May 1983,” written in English Class, 11th grade

Posted on September 10, 2009 by sexyarmpit

The hysteria for George Lucas’ 3rd installment of his Star Wars epic was to hit screens on Friday May 25th. Many days passed as I joyfully played with my Star Wars action figures, as if Lucas was Santa and watching my every move. Figures were spread all over the floor of my rec room where many galactic battles took place. I begged my older sister to play, after all, I needed a Princess Leia. It was a time when she actually came in handy, but a little brother would have done a better job at playing with action figures.

After waiting anxiously, Friday finally came. “We’re going to see Return of the Jedi!!” my dad announced to me with great enthusiasm. He seemed just as excited as I was. Before jumping around uncontrollably like Mr. Peepers, I froze for a second, puzzled. Did he mean that we were going to see the real thing and go up in a space ship and watch the rebellion get revenge over the dark forces of the evil Empire? I was perplexed. I actually wasn’t sure what was going to happen. You see, this was the first Star Wars film I would be experiencing in the theater.

When we pulled up at the old Menlo Park General Cinema, it all came together. As we walked through the glass doors, I was immediately consumed at the sight of the huge, lush lobby complete with video games and adorned with posters. The aroma of popcorn filled the air and invaded my nostrils. Naturally, it was imperative what came next, “Mommy, I want popcorn!” My dad bought the tickets and as we slowly made our way to the theater I took in every last detail of my surroundings.

My sister held my tiny hand and directed me to look at the Return of the Jedi poster on the wall. I became mesmerized. It was a beautiful collage with Luke Skywalker looking heroic, grasping his trusty lightsaber, Han Solo pointing his blaster at me, the beautiful Princess Leia, cuddly Ewoks, and lurking in the background, the sinister Darth Vader. Just as any other normal kid at the time, I was petrified of the Dark Lord of the Sith. The bottom of the poster, sealed in silver, read RETURN OF THE JEDI.

We made our way through the doors and down the aisle of the theater. It was very dark except for the glow of the previews which projected onto the enormous screen. I didn’t care what was on the screen, it was all a blur. I was in awe of the cavernous room filled with what looked to be a thousand seats. There were so many people, it was packed to the rafters. I stood in the aisle staring upward, mouth open, marveling at how high the ceiling was. Finally, I focused on the screen and remembered what I wanted to do. I jetted in light speed to the front row. The entire row was empty and thinking I hit the jackpot, I plopped myself down in the center seat. With popcorn in lap and feet crossed dangling off the seat, I was ready, but I realized I was missing something. MY FAMILY was a few rows back filing into a patch of 4 seats. My sister must’ve alerted my parents to the fact that I was nowhere to be found. As I looked back I saw my dad waving me back to sit with them. In classic stubborn child mode, I swung my head back and forth in an “absolutely not” fashion. They realized that I would not be giving up my seat.

I won out and my parents and my sister left their seats and sat with me in the first row. That wouldn’t have flown in any other instance, but since it was Return of the Jedi and they were there so I could see the movie, they gave in. Within minutes, the screen went black and John Williams’ score blasted like an ion cannon throughout the theater while the scroll brought us up to speed. Episode VI: Return of the Jedi:

This experience left a lasting impression on me because it made me a lifelong Star Wars fan, and it began my obsession with movies. At that point in time, going to the movies was still a big deal. Sure there are “event” movies, but not many of them can come close to the magic that the original Star Wars trilogy brought to the screen. More and more younger kids are becoming Star Wars fans and I’m lucky to be able to tell them that I saw my favorite installment of the trilogy in its original theatrical release.

Bob The Goon: Jersey’s Number One Guy!

Posted on August 27, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Henchmen, for some reason, were always available and willing to abet The Joker. There must’ve been a waiting list to become one of Joker’s indistinct thugs, but why? The job of Henchman didn’t bring glory or kudos, it didn’t get their name in the Gotham Globe, and it undoubtedly lead to their demise. Whether it was thug #1 or Yock and Boff, they won’t be remembered for any of their dirty deeds against Batman or Gotham City. The Joker was the one who got all the press, save for one exception, and he actually had a name. His name was Bob, and motherf-cker even had his own action figure. It was from Toy Biz, but still an action figure nonetheless.

As if being known as a nondescript “henchman” was bad enough, Bob was known as ‘The Joker’s Goon,” or “Bob The Goon.” He was the highest level henchman The Joker had, hence “THEE GOON,” this guy wasn’t 2nd GOON or 6th GOON. That title was officially bestowed upon him when the Joker told Bob that he was his “Number One Guyyy.” Bob was a shabby man who looked as if he was freshly plucked from catching some zzz’s in a dumpster in a Crime Alley. Coming from those humble beginnings, having the Joker take him on as his henchman infused him with confidence. He felt like he could conquer the world, or at the very least, finally get his G.E.D. He was as loyal as they came, and he possessed a shimmer in his eye that showed us that a little part of him wished someday he could be half the criminal mastermind that The Joker is. He clung to that hope, even if it was all in vain.

When you’re down on your luck and you want some direction in your life, being the right hand to a super criminal like The Joker seems like an appealing and prestigious position. I’m almost positive The Joker didn’t offer any health benefits, and definitely no 401k. Perhaps dental? He did have one helluva smile. Love that Joker! In the case of Bob, The Joker granted him as much vacation time as he could ever possibly imagine when he blew him away point blank.

All other goons and henchman owe Bob a huge debt of gratitude for being such a superior role model. Bob was an icon, a go getter, and when he did hire a prostitute, he treated her with respect. It’s a shame that Bob was never able to take advantage of his fame. If he lived, he may have been able to ride the lucrative personal appearance circuit. Who wouldn’t want a B&W 8×10 of Bob signed “Bob, The Joker’s One and Only Muthaf–kin’ Goon!”

Bob The Goon was portrayed by Tracey Walter in the 1989 Batman film. It’s no secret that Jack Nicholson is a Jersey boy, but Walter also hails from the Garden State. He was born in Jersey City, NJ, and according to his IMDB bio, he “was working in a car parts store in Jersey City when he stumbled upon acting…” Walter’s impressive resume includes appearances in over 150 popular films and TV shows.
For more on Bob’s Toy Biz action figure, check out Cool Toy Review.

Battle Damage He-Man T-Shirt Winner!

Posted on December 11, 2008 by sexyarmpit

The rules of the He-Man T-Shirt contest:

1) If you were He-Man, what Eternian/Etherian girl would you want to bang and why? ***This can include anyone from Queen Marlena (but your my mo—) to Frosta

2) What would you (as He-Man) for your first date with her? I love being Chuck Woolery, he’s an idol of mine.

Obviously I’m not eligible to enter my own contest, but if I was, it would definitely be a toss up between Glimmer and Frosta. I’m good either way. Glimmer’s deceiving because she’s a goody two shoes on the outside but she’s a hardcore party girl so don’t let her fool you. At least Frosta is blatant about her sexual attraction to He-Man. I think if I had a date with Frosta we might go to a nice little dinner at The Melting Pot just to be ironic. From then on it’s over the top perversion, so I won’t even go into detail. See, I almost had you! You thought I was going to settle for just Frosta? Silly you! If you can recall just a few sentences back I described how Glimmer was a real party whore, so she’s obviously going to be down for an “etherian ethreeway” as it’s known in those parts. All while you’re trying to tag two Etherian dames, you need to keep your eyes peeled because somewhere around your bedroom Loo-kee is hiding and you have to find that cagey, multicolored motherfucker.

Even though I only received 3 “official” entries it was difficult choosing a winner. By official I mean your entry isn’t eligible if you tell me your answer when I run into you while I’m at the grocery store picking up milk. The winning of He-Man T-Shirts is serious business! I came to my final decision today and I thank the 3 people who participated. I feel honored that my Sexy Armpit T-Shirt giveaway during Halloween was a runaway success compared to this one. I really thought more people would be clamoring for an obscure He-Man Tee, but who knows…the winner may just have this baby up on eBay as soon as they receive it! And now let’s take a look at the entries:

Laura from New Jersey wrote:

Since I’ll assume that I’m probably one of the only girls who entered this contest, I decided to take a few liberties. Sure I could pick any of the “hot” ladies in the world of MOTU but to the chagrin of many guys out there reading this, I’m just not into chicks. So, while I’d like to say that Catra is a dirty little minx and I want her paws all over me, that’s sadly not the case. I’m sorry.

I’m going to change the rules a bit since Jay didn’t think that a girl would want to enter. With that said, any guy reading my entry will automatically think I’d pick He-Man or Bow to go out on a date with but that’s surprisingly not the case at all.

My answer would be Orko. Just thinking of him working his magic on me gets me HOT! Even though his spells usually turn out disastrous I definitely give him credit for trying so hard. Not too many guys out there give such an incredible effort like Orko. Sometimes, it’s more charming when a girl sees a guy really trying and being creative rather than a jerk who acts like he’s God’s gift and everything he does in bed is perfect. OK, ok, the real reason why I chose Orko? He had THE BIG “O” on his chest!

Eric “Bubba Shelby” from California wrote:

Here are my answers (as He-Man of course!)

1) Madame Razz. I watch “Desperate Housewives,” I have every Teen Beat magazine issue
that features Ashton Kutcher, and my favorite film this summer was “Sex and The City,” so I know all about the Cougars! Rowr!

2) Obviously it would all begin when I held aloft my magic sword and said “I have the Poweeeeeeerrrrrr!!!!” I would then point my throbbing power sword at the quivering pussy and ZAP – That pussy will ROAR! After that I’ll strike a quick manly pose, glance from side to side, and run away.

Donovan Jacob S. from Gloucestershire, England:
I chose Zilora:

1) Zilora…isn’t it obvious? She’s got hypnotic spiral breast coverings!

2) I would lure her to Zodac’s sex dungeon: Zodac’s Pleasure Shack, where Fisto would be waiting to perform his “trademark specialty” and Modulok would be ready with his “Mod-u-cock.” I’d take pictures and make a special ViewMaster disc to commemorate the event…

It was a close call between Eric and Donovan. Thinking of Madam Razz as a cougar is pretty damn funny but I ultimately had to go with Donovan’s genius creation of Zodac’s Pleasure Shack and the Fisto mention (he’s one of my favorites). How awesome would it be if we had cameras that took pictures directly to a Viewmaster reel? That would kick ass! Congratulations Donovan, you are a visionary and the winner of the He-Man Battle Damage T-Shirt! I had no idea The Sexy Armpit was being read in England! Unfortunately, the only parting gift I have for the contestants is a sincere THANK YOU to Eric and Laura for entering! I know…that’s a pretty lame parting gift, but it’s pretty low budget here at the Armpit.