dc comics Archives - Page 3 of 4

New Green Lantern Roller Coaster at Six Flags Great Adventure!

Posted on May 19, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Season Pass holders have access to a special preview of the ride

from May 19th thru May 22nd

What’s better than The Dark Knight Coaster at Six Flags Great Adventure? Almost every ride in the park HA! After Six Flags debuted the last DC Comics Superhero inspired ride The Dark Knight Coaster in a vastly disappointing 2008 premiere, it seems that they are about to redeem themselves.

Presently, The World’s Finest heroes are both heavily represented at Great Adventure. Batman and Superman rides are among some of the best in the park (aside from the lame Dark Knight coaster) which leaves the other members of the Justice League green with envy. One DC hero in particular isn’t going to take it sitting down.

Opening May 25th, the new Green Lantern coaster will be a thrilling experience based on GL’s mystical power ring. The super smooth ride stands 154 feet tall and reaches speeds of 63 mph. It’s now among the tallest and fastest coasters in the world. According to the Six Flags press release the ride will be a towering “…15 stories high with over three quarters of a mile of twisting green steel, this new stand-up coaster will take you on a journey of epic proportions.”

I can’t think of a better movie tie-in than a brand new roller coaster at Six Flags Great Adventure. Green Lantern is finally getting the credit he deserves. People will be coming from all over the place to ride this one! It’s a 2 minute and 30 second adrenaline rush for most people. For me, it’ll be 2 minutes and 30 seconds pretending I’m flying around like Hal Jordan. Hopefully the standing up-upside down part won’t make people morph their green energy into puddles of vomit.

Six Flags Great Adventure
1 Six Flags Boulevard
Jackson, NJ

Gotham City, NJ?

Posted on February 8, 2011 by sexyarmpit

In the 1966 Batman TV series, the Batmobile zooms passed a sign that that says “Gotham City 14 Miles.” As it turns out for us here in New Jersey, that old sign wasn’t lying after all! In this post I will prove that for some outrageous reason, Gotham City is in fact in…(gasp!)… New Jersey!

For the non-fanboys reading this, I can see why you are in disbelief. It’s always assumed that Batman fought crime in a city created in the image New York City, and there’s surely enough evidence of it. But for the writers of DC Comics, having New York City exist in their universe as a separate entity is important. So, at least geographically, Gotham City exists in New Jersey. Although, since we already have The Toxic Avenger, is there enough room for an even more legendary super hero in New Jersey?

There’s lots of people out there who will think the idea of Gotham City being in Jersey is utter garbage (pun intended), but aside from the fact that it doesn’t have as many skyscrapers as New York City, nowadays Jersey may be even seedier than Manhattan. Let’s go down the checklist: Corruption, CHECK, Crime, CHECK, Gambling, CHECK, Prostitution, CHECK, murderous villain dressed in clown makeup, well…not necessarily, but I’m sure that can be arranged.

While many of you are flying into a fit of rage, internalizing your anger, and pacing around your home or office upon reading this, we here in New Jersey are rejoicing. A small bit of unimportant DC comics trivia it may seem, but The Sexy Armpit refuses to discard it. To many bat-fans in the most densely populated state in the country, the whereabouts of Gotham City is of prime importance. No matter if you grew up in Bloomfield or Barnegat, any Batman adventure that you acted out as a kid has just skyrocketed in credibility. Batman is our hometown hero!

With sections known as The Bowery, Chelsea, Chinatown, and the East River, it’s painfully obvious that Gotham City wants desperately to be New York City, but New York City will remain its own island. New York already has our football team and gets made fun of a lot less than us so I’d say giving us Gotham City is a more than generous trade.

For more on Gotham City, New Jersey check out these links:

Gotham City on The DC Database

DC Animated Wiki “…in DC Comics current continuity, Gotham City is in New Jersey, north of Atlantic City.”

Halloween 1990

Posted on October 4, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Halloween 1990

I love to look at photos from Halloween years ago. It’s fun to reminisce about the various costumes my friends and I wore through the years, although sometimes it’s mind boggling. I’m still operating in the mode that 1990 was 10 years ago, but clearly my calculator has proven me wrong. This is a picture of my friends and I in front of our school, oh my Lord…20 years ago! I loved dressing up for Halloween when I was a kid but as I got a little older I started to grow tired of putting so much effort into going home and changing and putting on makeup etc. I phased out of getting dressed up when I stopped going trick or treating. So this photo marks the beginning of my lazy phase for Halloween, a phase that many of us have gone through.

Friday the 13th was one of my favorite horror film franchises and until that point I never dressed up as Jason Voorhees for Halloween so I wanted to see how it felt to live behind the hockey mask for a day. My least favorite film of the series, Jason Takes Manhattan was released a year earlier but it didn’t hinder me from deciding to be J.V. At that time, anyone who dressed as Jason for Halloween was considered to have a “copout” costume. That was the easiest way to go; the lazy man’s Halloween costume. I bought the mask real cheap and I recycled the knife from a Rambo Combat set I had and just slathered some fake blood on it!

My friends in the picture all had outstanding costumes. From left to right you’ll see my life long friend Greg who was way ahead of his time dressed in drag. This guy always had a great sense of humor and to think that he had the balls to dress as a woman when we were kids was awesome. I’m not sure if he would do it now though! I don’t remember too many kids dressed in drag back then. To make things even more bizarre, he was holding a bloody axe making him some sort of deranged cross dressing serial killer.

To the right of me is the absolute greatest homemade Flash costume ever. My best friend Frank kept his costume a secret for a whole month! Then, on Halloween day, after we all came back to school after going home to change for the school parade, he walked into class in full Flash costume and I was literally in awe. The Flash TV series was only a few episodes in and we were both hooked since we were DC comics freaks. The costume had that extra authenticity because there wasn’t even real Flash costumes or cowls available at that time so his mom just went ahead and made it for him herself! Beside The Flash was an awesome Invisible Man costume and underneath those wraps was my friend Steve. Superb costume!

DC Comics Digital Subscriptions

Posted on April 21, 2010 by sexyarmpit

The Meadowlands Webcomic by Tadd Galusha

I can only imagine what the Disney/Marvel juggernaut will be unleashing on us within the next few years as their alliance grows stronger. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for my personal favorite, DC Comics. Why did it take blockbuster movies like The Dark Knight and Iron Man to make the two big comic book companies finally nut up and begin to truly exploit some of their other heroes? DC has a responsibility to it’s readers to provide them with the best adventures of our favorite characters in the various mediums available. The DCU animated movies are a step in the right direction, but first, innovation needs to be applied to the source material.

I was never a hardcore Green Lantern fan, but I can imagine how ridiculously pumped true GL fans will be in June of 2011 when the film hits theaters. Did it really take 23 years for a theatrical version of Watchmen to hit the silver screen? Shit, the rights to make a definitive Batman film were purchased from DC in 1979 and after enough scripts to fold up an entire origami model of Wayne Manor, the movie was finally produced and released 10 years later. Anticipation counts for something, but totally frustrating the shit out of your fans is a completely different story. I don’t mind waiting a couple of years for another Batman sequel, but if I have to wait 4 or 5 years I’ll be having flashbacks to the 8 year span of time that it took for WB and DC to grow enough cajones to release Batman Begins. They clearly wanted to be sure that the public had pretty much came to terms with 1997’s farce Batman and Robin. Finally, this brings me to my point, why the hell is DC Comics taking their sweet old time in rolling out a digital subscription plan?

Rather than living in the past and pandering to the old school of fans, DC desperately needs to commit itself to using the most cutting edge technology at all times. If there are so many readers out there who only want to buy print versions of their favorite comics, then why not produce both the hard copies as well as the digitally scanned issues? I’ve read some bullshit on the Internet that DC reps claim that they haven’t found the right method of presenting a comic book via the Internet. That’s funny considering you can find almost any popular comic available for download somewhere on the Internet. Collectors are nice enough to scan them in for archival purposes rather than alternatively finding an issue on eBay and paying a ridiculous $15 or $20 bucks for a comic with yellow pages.

Based in New Jersey, Galusha’s Zuda Webcomic “The Meadowlands” is awesome,

but still not exactly a digital subscription of my favorite DC comic books

What better way to reintroduce lesser known characters and bring superheroes to the forefront than by revolutionizing the way we read comics books? Making the comic book relevant again should be of paramount importance to the newfangled DC Entertainment. For the past few years, DC’s Zuda imprint has been their only foray into webcomics. The only problem with it is that the comics Zuda features are all original works, none of our favorite characters from say…Justice League or The Outsiders. It’s also a competition which provides independent artists and writers the opportunity to showcase their material. Think of it as the American Idol of DC Comics.

A true comic book fan merely wants an escape. They want to experience stories of their favorite heroes while being immersed in spectacular comic art. Personally, I could care less if I have the actual issue in my hand or not. It’s even better if I don’t because I have enough crap in my bedroom and I don’t need even more stacks of comics. My large screen computer monitor is a perfect way to enjoy a comic book, and it would sure make storing and organizing your collection a breeze. Many of us have learned to let go of albums, definitely shitcanned VHS and cassette tapes, and we’re even forgetting about CD’s, so why can’t we forego comic books? The best way of making a superhero eternal is to immortalize them on the Internet, or in a more modern fashion, make them available through an easy one click purchase on iTunes. As far as I’m concerned the fact that Marvel does offer digital subscriptions is a huge win for them. If DC Entertainment wants to compete on the same level as Disney/Marvel, they need to get in the game.

Joker, Joy Buzzers, and Jersey

Posted on March 1, 2010 by sexyarmpit

I’ve just discovered that we actually are just a bunch of ball busters over here in Jersey. The man partly to blame for that is Soren Sorenson Adams. You can thank his company, S.S Adams Co. for cheap gags such as the stink bomb, itching powder, and my personal favorite, the snake nut can! The S.S Adams Co. is also responsible for creating one of The Joker’s most memorable and ruthless pranks.

Adams was born in Denmark in 1879 and came to the United States at age four. His family moved to Perth Amboy, NJ where his father owned a bar. Sorensen was working as a salesman for a dye company when he discovered that the dyes he was selling had an ingredient that made people sneeze. Sorensen detected which additive created the effect and launched The Cachoo Sneezing Powder Company in Plainfield, NJ. In his Wikipedia entry, it actually claims that there was a “sneezing powder craze that swept the country.” Can you imagine walking around town and everyone is frantically snorting sneezing powder and sneezing like crazy everywhere you turn? That sounds gross. I wouldn’t walk out of the house without a motorcycle helmet on. I hate when people sneeze on me. What the f-ck is a “sneezing powder craze”? Was there actually a time when people thought getting sneezed on was so commonplace that they thought it was much weirder if they WEREN’T getting sneezed on? How did America end this craze is what I want to know. This is proof that Wikipedia is no Funk and Wagnalls.

Antoine got a little hot under the collar!

Batman’s arch enemy The Joker should be indebted to Adams for providing him with one of his trademark lethal gags. The prototype to what would become known as the Joy Buzzer was designed in 1928. Then, in 1932, Adams copyrighted the final product and, unlike The Joker’s version, it wasn’t deadly. The Joy Buzzer brought S.S Adams Company huge success which lead them to move into a new factory in Neptune, NJ. In addition to the Joy Buzzer, Adams is said to have invented over 600 items, and patented around 40. Adams has a long list of tricks and puzzles to his credit as well as other novelty items such as the squirting nickel, the money maker, and the bar bug in ice cube. Adams died in Asbury Park, NJ in 1963.

Go to http://csadams.com/ to read more about The S.S Adams Company.

Bob The Goon: Jersey’s Number One Guy!

Posted on August 27, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Henchmen, for some reason, were always available and willing to abet The Joker. There must’ve been a waiting list to become one of Joker’s indistinct thugs, but why? The job of Henchman didn’t bring glory or kudos, it didn’t get their name in the Gotham Globe, and it undoubtedly lead to their demise. Whether it was thug #1 or Yock and Boff, they won’t be remembered for any of their dirty deeds against Batman or Gotham City. The Joker was the one who got all the press, save for one exception, and he actually had a name. His name was Bob, and motherf-cker even had his own action figure. It was from Toy Biz, but still an action figure nonetheless.

As if being known as a nondescript “henchman” was bad enough, Bob was known as ‘The Joker’s Goon,” or “Bob The Goon.” He was the highest level henchman The Joker had, hence “THEE GOON,” this guy wasn’t 2nd GOON or 6th GOON. That title was officially bestowed upon him when the Joker told Bob that he was his “Number One Guyyy.” Bob was a shabby man who looked as if he was freshly plucked from catching some zzz’s in a dumpster in a Crime Alley. Coming from those humble beginnings, having the Joker take him on as his henchman infused him with confidence. He felt like he could conquer the world, or at the very least, finally get his G.E.D. He was as loyal as they came, and he possessed a shimmer in his eye that showed us that a little part of him wished someday he could be half the criminal mastermind that The Joker is. He clung to that hope, even if it was all in vain.

When you’re down on your luck and you want some direction in your life, being the right hand to a super criminal like The Joker seems like an appealing and prestigious position. I’m almost positive The Joker didn’t offer any health benefits, and definitely no 401k. Perhaps dental? He did have one helluva smile. Love that Joker! In the case of Bob, The Joker granted him as much vacation time as he could ever possibly imagine when he blew him away point blank.

All other goons and henchman owe Bob a huge debt of gratitude for being such a superior role model. Bob was an icon, a go getter, and when he did hire a prostitute, he treated her with respect. It’s a shame that Bob was never able to take advantage of his fame. If he lived, he may have been able to ride the lucrative personal appearance circuit. Who wouldn’t want a B&W 8×10 of Bob signed “Bob, The Joker’s One and Only Muthaf–kin’ Goon!”

Bob The Goon was portrayed by Tracey Walter in the 1989 Batman film. It’s no secret that Jack Nicholson is a Jersey boy, but Walter also hails from the Garden State. He was born in Jersey City, NJ, and according to his IMDB bio, he “was working in a car parts store in Jersey City when he stumbled upon acting…” Walter’s impressive resume includes appearances in over 150 popular films and TV shows.
For more on Bob’s Toy Biz action figure, check out Cool Toy Review.

KWT: Ethan Van Sciver’s “Guardian of Freedom”

Posted on July 30, 2009 by sexyarmpit

This week Kip Winger Thursday kills two birds with one stone. Kip and NJ all in one.

In 2006, Kip Winger called upon comic book artist Ethan Van Sciver to create the cover art for Winger’s album, IV. The art was also released for sale in poster form.

In an interview on Comics Bulletin, Van Sciver reveals that he was born in Utah but grew up in South Jersey! He also admitted to having some unfavorable jobs in the art field before becoming the prominent comic book artist he is today. He told Comics Bulletin that he “…took a much envied job at the Cherry Hill Mall as a caricaturist. I had to wear a tuxedo, but I was ‘Goth’, so I also wore eye-makeup and a big clunky ankh around my neck, just under my bowtie.”

In addition to his own creation, the Cyberfrog comic book series, Van Sciver has worked on comics for DC and Marvel including Batman, Flash, Green Lantern and X-Men. Recently he’s done work on The Flash Rebirth and Blackest Night series for DC comics.

Tales of the Black Freighter on Blu-Ray & DVD 3/24!

Posted on March 20, 2009 by sexyarmpit

Watchmen’s comic within a comic, Tales of the Black Freighter, has been lavishly produced for Blu Ray and DVD and hits stores, online retailers, and on-demand on March 24th. I am totally pumped to see this aspect of Watchmen get such a superb treatment. It’s sad to think that those people who have only experienced Watchmen in a movie theater or IMAX may be unaware of what Tales of the Black Freighter actually is. If you are one of the “enlightened ones,” then you have experienced this ghastly allegorical pirate tale. Even if you haven’t read Watchmen, Tales of the Black Freighter is a “must own” addition to your collection solely for it’s atmosphere and significance in the Watchmen universe.

Delving deeper into Watchmen lore is the short based on Hollis Mason’s book Under the Hood. Mason, the original Nite Owl, published a book detailing his exploits as a costumed hero. Excerpts of the book can be found throughout the pages of Watchmen and now we’re able to experience it in visually stunning high definition! Under the Hood mixes live action and CGI in it’s rousing retelling of Mason’s superhero career. I’m a fan of Nite Owl so naturally I’m excited for this!

Watchmen fans have only dreamed of seeing these unique elements of the mythology unfold visually. It took over 20 years but with these 2 new releases as well as the motion comics, and the new video game The End is Nigh, us Watchmen fans have finally got what we were waiting for!

For more on the Watchmen universe visit: http://theworldofwatchmen.com/

The Sexy Armpit @ New York Comic Con ’09 Part 1

Posted on February 7, 2009 by sexyarmpit

It’s highly possible that a fanboy could very well “totally geek out” out at Comic-Con, it’s our form of cardiac arrest except it’s more emotional, ridiculous, and involves more girlish yelps.

This was my first official Comic Con and it was exactly as exhilarating as I expected. John Malkovich, in one of my favorite SNL sketches from this season involving a calculator, had a line that’s become an oft used quote in my repertoire: “I’m going to need freak out control.” After surviving the natural disaster that is NYC traffic, the accident that was holding up the flow for several miles at my Turnpike exit, and the aberration of forgetting my iPod, (no tunes in the car!!!) I finally made it home. I was mentally and physically drained since I spent 6 hours trying to contain my excitement and actually put my “freak out control” into effect. Then there’s the fact that I lose my patience while driving, especially when navigating around Manhattan. FYI – KITT was no help at all. Scumbag. I did a shitload of walking, probably made my way through every aisle 2 – 3 times, and I was forced to eat some fairly awful empanada from a lemonade stand that was fresh out of lemonade. What can ya do? There wasn’t much to choose from at Comic Con in the food department but there were plenty of artists, cosplayers, and a ton of geeky new stuff to check out. Read on!

Lots of Video Game Previews!

This is Jared Carr, art director for the upcoming DC Universe Online game was much more informative and cooler than the folks at the Ghostbusters video game preview. The specific reason I wanted a PS3 was to get the DCU game and fans have been waiting quite a long time for it. “We’re not discussing dates” Jared told me. WTF man? Give me a break, honestly. Comic Con wants the masses to come and visit all the latest products and kiosks, but if the game isn’t coming out anytime soon then what’s the sense on wasting a whole booth for it? If the makers of the game are trying to avoid setting a date only to have to push it back 3 times, that’s understandable. The burning question people want an answer to is WHEN will it come out!?!

I spent a good 20 minutes talking to Jared and despite him seeming rather irritated that I asked the release date, he was extremely easy to interact with and provided a lot of great insight into what the game is going to be like. You’ll be playing as a character YOU create and the customization is basically without limits. The landscapes and graphics in the game are beautiful and flawless. The PS3 version for instance has no noticeable difference visually to the common person even though the creators of the game naturally had more leeway in terms of power when working on the PC version. Jared told me that every map, area, street, city, and point of interest has been researched with the DC comics team which means the player will be officially emerged into the DC Universe when playing.

The new Ghostbusters game looks awesome although they didn’t have as many of the actual makers of the game at their booth. At least when I was there they had hired hands who kept asking people only to take still shot photos and NO video. The DCU game people were OK with video AND still shots. Regardless, I’m buying both of the games for sure. You can find plenty of video and screen caps from the new Ghostbusters game all over the Internets. They actually DO have a release date (6-16-09) and the Ghostbusters Blu-ray comes out the same day!

Legends of Wrestlemania is gearing up to serve as nostalgia to the old school WWF fans and also bring wrestling video games back to the basics. For years, wrestling video games have grown to feature complicated game play, intricate combinations, and other nonsense that the casual gamer doesn’t want to deal with. The best wrestling games were from back in the day. Games like Super Wrestlemania and Royal Rumble on Genesis and Super NES were so much fun that I’d be hanging out at a friends house playing them for hours on end. Legends of Wrestlemania is authentic since it features all the major classic WWF stars and their entrance themes. The venues to choose from have been those that have hosted Wrestlemania. The fueds and options are all based around classic Wrestlemania matchups. It’s literally a WWF/WWE fans dream come true. The American Dream Dusty Rhodes was there to sign autographs and promote the game which will be release on 3-24-09:

THE ARTISTS

There were many artists who had other business to tend to throughout the day. Some of the artists were doing signings or interviews and had someone else sitting in for them at points throughout the day to sell their artwork. Unless you’ve sought out pictures of the actual artists you’re a fan of, or have met them before, you may not know what they look like. At several of the artists’ tables I passed, I couldn’t be sure if it was really them or not so I always made it a point to look at their professional badges around their neck.

Even though I read his name on his tag “Dean Yeagle,” I verified “Is it really you!?!” I was so excited to meet this guy since he’s a legend in my book. I was first introduced to his art when I first saw his Mandy character getting into mischief in the pages of Playboy magazine. His art is playful and amusing, with a dash of big-eyed Disney wonder. He signed a hardcover copy of Mandy’s Shorts that I bought. Check out his company at www.cagedbeagle.com

Within the past year or so I really got into the pinup art of Amano Jyaku. Since I’ve never attended an official Comic-Con before, (been to a slew of conventions) I didn’t realize that I’d be running into artists and other folks who I knew solely through cyberspace. Creators and other people that I’ve become a fan of online seem to be imaginary until I actually meet them. As I strolled up and down the “Artists Alley,” I quickly glanced at a portfolio book and was immediately familiar with the pin-up style girls staring at me from inside the plastic sheets. It was Amano Jyaku, an artist I became friends with through seeing his art on various websites and on Myspace. I spoke with him and Paigey Pumphrey about how the Internet has opened so many doors for artists who, without the ‘net, might be struggling or forced to confine their skill to simply a hobby. I purchased 2 prints that he signed for me:

Amano’s guitar hero hottie (check out his logo on the guitar!)

Amano’s a big fan of spiced rum,

hence his love for sexy pirate chicks! I love that blue streak in her hair!

amanojyaku.deviantart.com

The magic of comic con or any convention of this type is not only the chance to meet the artists and industry people that you are familiar with or look up to, but also hopefully discover an artist or a book you haven’t heard of. Thanks to the Con, I became aware of Jamie Fay for and his awesome art for the first time. I fell totally in love with one of his Emma Frost pieces and I refused to leave without a signed print:

http://backend.deviantart.com/embed/view.swf
Ms Emma Frost by *windriderx23 on deviant ART

Another artist who I was pleased to discover was Richard P. Clark. His diverse portfolio is dramatic and mesmerizing. Clark is a truly versatile artist since he creates everthing from caricatures, and comic book characters to still life paintings. Richard was the type of guy who made me feel like I was already friends with him. He was sociable, funny, and appreciative. Clark was curious about The Sexy Armpit.com and it got a few laughs out of him. He signed an awesome Director Bones DC Comics foil card that he illustrated. www.zippystudio.com

Almost everyone I ran into snickered when they read my badge, that in a plain black font labeled me as “The Sexy Armpit.com.” It’s become somewhat of a nickname and I always get a few chuckles or comments, which I invite or I wouldn’t have kept this name otherwise! Thanks to all those who handed me stuff for review and answered my questions. New York Comic Con isn’t as revered as the San Diego Con, but I was still thrilled by the experience and I recommend getting your ass to one of them if you can. Check back soon for Part 2 of my trip the NY Comic Con!

Nocturna Mission #4

Posted on January 6, 2009 by sexyarmpit

As part of my 4th Nocturna Mission, let’s take a look at Detective Comics #547 from February, 1985.

This issue’s cover is yet another classic Batman comic book cover. The background color, even though faded in this scan, is very eye catching in contrast with the light blue and white Batman logo. The blood orange background color makes this issue seem like a great companion to the earlier installment, Detective Comics #543, which shares a similiar background color.

My curiosity surged as I wondered why Batman would be revealing his secret identity to Commissioner Gordon and Harvey Bullock. Even more of a conundrum was the gang’s response of “You?!?” Settle down kids…It wasn’t Lance Bass under that cowl, but there was a Batman imposter like there’s been many times before.

In this panel we learn that Nocturna has a penthouse. I can’t help but make the adult magazine comparison and hope that one day Penthouse realizes the goldmine that is Cosplay. Get some hot skanky broads to dress up as some super hero chicks and villains. Perhaps one of them can be a certain ghostly white mistress of the night? Do it Bob! I SWARE you’ll be seeing sales in the range of the Vanessa Williams issue.

“Finding Nocturna and Jason was a nasty surprise” Now, if that’s not the kinkiest thing Batman’s ever said! Here we see Nocturna cheating on Batman with that rotten, no good, weasly Jason Todd. They weren’t just messing around either! That was some good ol’ S&M they’re getting into, they were bound and tied to chairs! I wonder how many seconds later “The Gimp” entered the room?

Oh Crap. You know it’s the ’80s when Batman’s rocking a finely manicured goatee…oh wait…it’s not really Batman, it’s actually Anton Knight/Night-Slayer, Natalia Knight’s bro. Natalia looks just as savvy as Batman and Robin on those grappling hooks, but her legs are way hotter. If you glance at this panel really fast it looks like Robin is out on patrol with Elvira. I could do without Nocturna’s queer choice of ballet slippers though.

According to this panel Batman apparently starred in some late ’70s Blaxploitation films. That Batman is Baadasss! Either that or he’s actually motivational speaker Tony Robbins when he was rockin’ that insane goatee. He encouraged it to grow and it did…and you can do the same! All you have to do is persevere.

In the top left of this next panel, Nocturna’s showing off her serious set of moves moves specifically the superkick or “sweet chin music,” that she blatantly stole from Shawn Michaels. Better yet, this is action that should’ve showed up in the Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe game if the game developers had any clue as to what the people really wanted:

If Nocturna was in that damn video game I would’ve bought it. If you’ve got some sort of code to make her magically appear, for the love of God please post it in the comments section. I’m sure many of you have already made her appear in the game taking on Kitana in a silky bathrobe wearing nothing underneath but a few dabs of that fancy fragrance Coco Chanel. I hear she doesn’t leave her penthouse without putting it on, but between you and me, I’m fairly certain that she buys the knockoff bottle from the mall kiosk. She claims you can’t tell the difference, but then again, she also wears cubic zirconia jewelery.

Whoa, whoa…”I know your every move intimately” ?? That’s borderline Luke/Leia makeout scene. You know what they say in Gotham City, nobody’s more of a player than Nocturna’s brother Night-Slayer! There she goes with the cheap costume jewelry again. Nocturna removes her plastic, yellow, star earring that she bought earlier that day at Claire’s in the lower level of the Gotham Center Mall (right near the women’s knockoff fragrance kiosk) and chucks it at her bro’s chestplate. Now take that cowl off Anton, you look ridiculous!