gpcm Archives - Page 8 of 9

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.13: Paramus on Venkman’s Show in Ghostbusters 2

Posted on November 20, 2008 by sexyarmpit

Let’s join Peter Venkman’s TV show World of the Psychic already in progress…

VENKMAN:

Elaine, now you had another date in mind…

ELAINE:

According to my source, the end of the world will be on February 14th in the year 2016.

VENKMAN:

Valentine’s Day…bummer. Where’d you get your date Elaine?

ELAINE:

I received this information from an alien. As I told my husband, it was in the Paramus Holiday Inn. I was having a drink at the bar, alone, and this alien approached me, he started talking to me, he bought me a drink, and then…I think he must’ve used some kind of a ray or a mind control device because he forced me to follow him to his room and that’s where…he told me about the end of the world.

VENKMAN:

…So your alien had a room at the Holiday Inn, Paramus?

ELAINE:

It might have been a room on the spacecraft made up to look like a room at the Holiday Inn. I can’t be sure about that Peter.

VENKMAN:

Of course not, and that is the whole problem with aliens, you just can’t trust ’em. Occassionally you meet a nice one…Starman, E.T, but usually they turn out to be some kind of big lizard!

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.12: The Karate Kid is “Goin’ Back to Jersey…to Jersey”

Posted on November 17, 2008 by sexyarmpit

In 1989, The Karate Kid starred in his own short lived animated series. In the 2nd episode, Homecoming, Danielson heads back to his home state of New Jersey to search for a mystical shrine. Sadly, there’s no sign of Johnny Lawrence aka the legendary William Zabka. Although all isn’t lost, since much of the episode’s action takes place at an amusement park. As far as I know there are no amusement parks in Newark, so who knows? Maybe they were at Six Flags Great Adventure?

It was announced last week that a new Karate Kid film may go into production starring Will Smith’s son Jaden.

Finding this video on Hulu was a big score. If you haven’t visited Hulu then get on it! I signed up when it was in beta and it was well worth it. Hulu is my first stop for SNL sketches, full length movies, and TV episodes. It gets me caught up on shows and some ’80s classics during my lunch hour at work.

http://www.hulu.com/embed/MI-D0wH3ZP6DF-_H7YrcGQ

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.11: The Misfits Form in Lodi, NJ

Posted on October 21, 2008 by sexyarmpit

I’m always amused when I see people’s reaction the first time they hear a KISS song. Throughout my entire life of being a KISS fan, everyone has always said “Oh I can’t listen to KISS, that’s like death metal.” Many people who have only seen KISS think their sound is more in line with their look. Aside from their typical “Rock and Roll all Nite” fare, take a listen to songs like “Hard Luck Woman,” “I Still Love You,” and “See You In You Dreams,” and you’ll hear that Kiss is the furthest thing from death metal. On the other hand, while they’re not death metal in the least, unlike Kiss, The Misfits sound is more in line with their image.

In 1977, The Misfits came together in Lodi, New Jersey. Named after a Marilyn Monroe film, their ghoulish, macabre makeup was attention grabbing and even more sinister than that of KISS and Alice Cooper. At first listen, their music sounds like simple guttural punk, yet it somehow perfectly evokes the nostalgic and eerie feeling of old horror movies. 30 years after the bands inception, The Misfits are credited as being the innovators of “Horror punk.”

A slew of bands cite The Misfits as one of their influences such as Metallica, and My Chemical Romance. Their skull logo can be seen everywhere, even if the kids wearing it don’t know what it stands for. It’s the MISFITS muthatruckas! Even with the departure of Glenn Danzig and various lineup changes, The Misfits are still terrorizing the country. Check out their tour dates to see when they’ll be in your neighborhood.

Now check out a few Misfit facts:

– Bassist, vocalist, and former WCW wrestler extraordinaire Jerry Only is known for inventing the “devilock” hairstyle seen here (2nd in from the left):

– The Misfits named their legion of fans “Fiends.” Their fiend club is their equivalent of the Kiss Army.

– This bit of interesting info comes courtesy of The Misfits website (www.misfits.com):

“The Misfits and their “Fiend Club” also became instrumental in petitioning for the release of the U.S. Classic Movie Monster Stamp series which, among other of their heroes, featured Bela Lugosi Sr., as Dracula, Ben Chapman as the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and of course, Boris Karloff as Frankenstein.”

– Here’s probably the most interesting thing I found about the Misfits:
The Misfits operate out of North Jersey where they own a machine shop and a knife factory. Not only do they make their own instruments but also their amps, studded straps and spiked leather jackets! The Misfits also fashion their very own stage sets and props!

– George Romero directed this Misfits video for “Scream” in exchange for letting Romero use 2 of their songs in his film Bruiser.

Video for “American Psycho” with an awesome intro:

Here you can see the craziness of a 1981 Misfits show as they perform one of their signature songs “Halloween”:

Here’s a really cool homemade video for their song “Vampira”:

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.10: What NOT to Watch This Halloween: Dark Ride

Posted on October 14, 2008 by sexyarmpit

I should’ve known that any movie the Sci-Fi Channel airs that’s not an established classic usually sucks ass. I wish I would’ve watched their presentation of After Dark Films 8 Films to Die For: Dark Ride (2006) before I unwittingly purchased the DVD.

Clearly a poor attempt at copying the Asbury Park Icon, Tillie

I admit I was enticed by hearing that there was finally a horror movie about a Dark Ride. Who doesn’t love Dark Rides? If it was up to me, when you walk into my condo you’re automatically invited onto a boat and take a dark ride through the place. The only catch is that the only way to get around the condo is to take the dark ride. I’d wake up in the morning with my pajamas on and my eyes half shut and take the boat over to the bathroom. I’d do my thing, wash my face, and then hop on again over to the kitchen for breakfast as I narrowly escape some robotic monsters trying to kill me. What? It’s time to go to work? This boat is damn slow and we aren’t even passed the walking corpses and the Pinhead animatronic display! I hope I make it to the front door in time! I know, I know…keep my feet and hands in the ride at all times. Forget that, we can do it cartoon style and I wouldn’t even have to take a real shower anymore. I’d hop on the boat and have water jets and soap spray me down after I go through the Dr. Satan exhibit. Shit, I may as well make the upstairs into a fountain of youth ride. Anything’s possible in dark rides, except for making a good movie about them.

Now that’s acting!

Jamie Lynn Sigler was the real grabber for me in this one. I think her performance would’ve resonated more if she video conferenced all her scenes in from her bedroom at home. Her work on The Sopranos is masterful and glorious compared to the hack job she turned in on this film. What a mess! I’m usually a fan of really bad movies like this one, especially of the horror genre, but so much of this movie let me down. It seems like the casting folks on this film tried to get Sigler because of her eternal connection to her starring role as the daughter of a mob boss from New Jersey.

Now that’s acting!

Being a lifelong native of New Jersey, I was excited to see that the movie was based in Asbury Park. The dark ride itself was in a haunted house on the boardwalk. One dark and spooky night a bunch of “meddling kids” broke into the attraction to pull a prank on Jamie Lynn Sigler’s cheating boyfriend. But as it turns out, there’s a killer on the loose that lives inside the Dark Ride! How much more dull can we be here? The male stars are actually the better actors in the film and that isn’t saying much.

Now that’s acting!

Oh, and if you thought I was too harsh on Sigler’s performance, you have no clue what you’re in for with David Clayton Rogers performance. Here’s another idiot that thinks he’ll get further in his career if he has 2 first names. This kid redefines that old addage “don’t quit your day job.” Before he decided to become an actor I heard he would sneak into public ladies rooms and steal the money out of tampon machines. What a dick! That money benefits autistic children, doesn’t he know that? Despitef his previous career as a complete loser, someone actually let him be an actor. The fact that Hollywood is still letting him practice this craft is completely beyond me. I hope and pray to the Gods of Film that I never have to witness an atrocity such as David Clayton Rogers ever again. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish anything bad to happen to him, I just wish that he would realize he sucks and try his luck at another career. Isn’t there a Jack in the Box or a Carl’s Jr. you can work at?

OK, I feel like I’m being too harsh. Dark Ride does have some redeemable qualities but what stunk most about this film is that it could’ve been so much more. Being from Jersey, I was blessed with some of the best haunted houses and dark rides ever. Take Castle Dracula in Wildwood or the haunted castle at Six Flags Great Adventure for instance would make great stories. Because of lame producers, filmmakers are constantly dumbing things down. This movie is not one that a fanboy, or an X-E fan would enjoy.

After feeling guilty that they didn’t film in Jersey,

they flew their film crew to quickly take some footage of Asbury Park and The Stone Pony

Why didn’t the producers hire Weird NJ to hop on as consultants? Let’s talk urban legends, local myths, etc. Any film about the Jersey Devil has sucked and now they’re sucking any coolness out of dark rides from Jersey as well! C’mon…The Jersey Shore used to be famous for it’s haunted houses! It’s interesting to note that the majority of this movie wasn’t even filmed in New Jersey, but in Los Angeles and at the Santa Monica Pier. That’s most likely because it’s so damn expensive to film in Jersey.

Horror Freak from Oregon on IMDB claims that he didn’t see the twist at the end coming at all. I think he may just be completely out of his mind. This was the most predictable movie, possibly as predictable as a Full House episode. I hate this movie so much, if I keep writing about it, I don’t think I’m ever going to want to blog again. So in an attempt to save my hobby from the clutches of the evil movie Dark Ride, my little boat ride stops here.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.9: Sammi Curr’s Waste City Records

Posted on October 4, 2008 by sexyarmpit

Back in the days when “fan mail” actually existed, more specifically, when people actually wrote letters, one Eddie Weinbauer incessantly wrote letters to his idol and rock saviour Sammi Curr. If you’ve never heard of Sammi Curr you need to watch Trick or Treat, an ’80s classic of the horror rock genre. Sammi is an icon of metal and don’t let people tell you he’s a fictional character because Sammi lives within all of your household appliances, especially your stereos. But for some reason, the best way to reach him is through his record label.

If you’re interested in sending fan mail to Sammi, first you’ll need to try and come up with something thought provoking and interesting enough to say to him in order to stand out from the millions of other notes, letters, and boxes of used lingerie that Sammi receives on a daily basis. Let your own personality shine through! When you’re done licking the envelope seductively, spray a spritz of your favorite cologne on the flap, Sammi may enjoy that. Then say a prayer that he actually gets it. Now you’ll have to fill out the front of the envelope.

Oh yes, you wanted the address of Sammi Curr at his record label:

Sammi Curr
C/O Waste City Records
Hoboken, N.J 07030

It’s no wonder that a record label named “Waste City” makes its residence in New Jersey of all places.

Next, you may want to skip and whistle or walk nervously fast to your nearest mailbox. For Eddie, he can expect the letter to take at least a few days to reach it’s destination. All signs point to Eddie living in a suburb of North Carolina, considering the credits stated that the movie was filmed there and the license plate in the movie told me so. I guess the really cool stuff happens everywhere other than where I live because I’ve never had a heavy metal icon come back from the dead, burned face and all, and torment me with subliminal messages before. Perhaps if I send him a letter asking him to come to MY town, that may do the trick. Or treat?

Notice the price of the stamp on the letter is $0.22 cents in 1986! Presently the price of a U.S postage stamp is $0.42 cents!

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.8: Batman and New Guernsey Purrrfect Together!

Posted on September 27, 2008 by sexyarmpit

Before Gotham City set up shop in Chicago in The Dark Knight, it was always widely thought to be inspired by New York City. Even though never explicitly defined, Gotham was similar to New York City and Metropolis seemed to be a mirror of Chicago. No matter where these imaginary cities are actually intended to be is up to the imagination of the comic book writers and their readers. The same goes for superhero adventures on the big screen and in this case, full color Television!

The ’60s live action Batman TV series frequently threw in parodies on names of real people and places. To the west of Gotham City was “New Guernsey,” which served as the New Jersey of the Batman dimension. New Guernsey is shown on a street sign in the episode “Scat, Darn Catwoman,” which aired in January of 1967.

Julie Newmar can sit on her golden cat throne forever because she’s the sexiest, most seductive, and sly Catwoman to ever play the role. How could we allow such feline failures in the past? Was there any reason for the Lee Meriwether’s, Eartha Kitt’s, and Halle Berry’s when we could’ve just reused old footage of Julie Newmar? If it wasn’t for Tim Burton resurrecting Selina Kyle as some kind of Cat-Zombie, Pfeiffer would be on the exact same level as Newmar. What can I say, I’m traditional, I don’t enjoy my women as much after they get eaten by cats.

I’m sure millions of simultaneous wet dreams ensued in 1967 as all the pubescent boys watched Catwoman as she was running and climbing stairs all over this episode. As you know, running leads to bouncing, and climbing leads to great ass shots. Thanks for everything Julie Newmar!

At the end of the episode we get to see Batman and Catwoman having one of their classic heart to hearts:

Batman: I’ll do everything I can to rehabilitate you…
Catwoman: Marry me
Batman: Everything except that, a wife no matter how beauteous or affectionate would severely impair my crime fighting!
Catwoman: But I can help you in your work…as a former criminal I’d be invaluable. I could reform honestly I can!
Batman: What about Robin?
Catwoman: Robin? Oh I’ve got it, we’ll kill him!

Was Catwoman possibly clairvoyant?

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.7: Who Watches The Watchmen? New Jersey Does!

Posted on September 18, 2008 by sexyarmpit

If you’re worth your weight in geek, you can’t wait for The Watchmen movie to be released. It’s sure to be an excruciating 6 months, and even the slightest Watchmen reference doesn’t calm my anxious anticipation. Hopefully the court will rule in favor of allowing Watchmen to be released on schedule that way we won’t have to continue pulling our hair out and re-watching the first chapter of the motion comic on iTunes for the fifty-thousandth time! In the meantime, you’re in luck you Sexy Armpiters! You can temporarily calm those nerves because there are a few references to New Jersey in the pages of the classic Watchmen comic book series! Don’t worry, there’s no spoilers here, so if you haven’t read Watchmen you can still enjoy this post! Shame on you…READ WATCHMEN NOW!

Chapter IV: Watchmaker centers around the most interesting and cool looking character in Watchmen, Dr. Manhattan. Jon Osterman a.k.a Dr. Manhattan holds a PH.D in Atomic Physics from Princeton University, in New Jersey. An Ivy League school, Princeton boasts graduates ranging from U.S presidents to dropouts such as Bruce Wayne, as well as serving as the location for several scenes in the upcoming Transformers 2 Revenge of the Fallen.

According to Wikipedia here’s what Osterman DIDN’T learn while matriculating at Princeton: “Manhattan’s powers include superhuman strength, the ability to teleport himself or others, the manipulation of matter at a subatomic level, and near total clairvoyance.” Oh yeah, Manhattan can also fix watches which isn’t traditionally that cool but proves to be a gift that gets him laid!
In this chapter, we also find out that the mother of Manhattan’s former flame Janey Slater lives in New Jersey. Janey and Jon decide to kill some time at an amusement park while waiting for Janey’s mother to get home.
Dr. Manhattan reflects on an old photo of himself with his past girlfriend taken at Palisades Amusement Park in N.J. You may remember Freddy Cannon singing about falling in love at “Palisades Park,” a song he recorded that was written by Chuck Barris and later covered by The Ramones. Palisades Amusement park featured the largest salt water wave pool in the country, thanks to water pumping in from the Hudson River. (ewwww! what were they thinking? lol) Presently there’s a high rise luxury apartment complex built on it’s property, but in it’s day the wildly popular Palisades Park was the place to be. Dr. Manhattan wasn’t reminiscing about Coney Island now was he? How ’bout that, huh?

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.6: Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle

Posted on September 10, 2008 by sexyarmpit

They weren’t lying in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, we New Jerseyans can really put away massive amounts of White Castle burgers. Although, I’d hate to disappoint you, not everyone in New Jersey is a stoner but we definitely have our fair share of characters who are. The legendary Jay and Silent Bob oh so proudly enjoyed some herbal refreshments: “who smokes the blunts, we smoke the blunts!” and then Harold and Kumar followed in their footsteps, albeit in a more nerdy and culturally diverse way. The film depicts their wild and outlandish journey to get some White Castles to feed their craving.

As I’ve mentioned in the previous installments of New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments, (or NJ’sGPCM’s if you’re into the whole brevity thing) is that seeing a film or TV show where your state and surrounding cities get name dropped is really freakin’ cool. Even though the film gives the impression that it’s 100% Jersey, Harold and Kumar was filmed mostly in Canada and Los Angeles. Filming in New Jersey is expensive but there are some scenes filmed in Hoboken N.J and on the Garden State Parkway.

On their quest for some sliders, Harold and Kumar hold up traffic at a toll because their change didn’t activate the light to go green. Every car horn explodes because the impatient Jersey drivers can’t handle the delay. In usual Jersey style, the raging, belligerent a-hole behind them sticks his head out the window and screams at them: “Hey MOVE YOUR ASS!…MOVE YOU FUCKING TWAT…MOVE YOU RETARDED COCK SUCKER! MOVE!” That’s a typical day on the road in Jersey. God has granted you peace if you live in another state. If so, bless you, you’ll be able to live a calm, stress free life.

After getting cursed off, Harold and Kumar get off at the wrong exit and wind up in Newark. Kumar had the exact same sentiments we all have when we’re driving through Newark: “You know we’re gonna get shot!” From there, the boys get to New Brunswick just to find out that the lame Burger Shack has replaced White Castle! It seemed to be one disappointment after another until the guys are hiding from security in the girls bathroom. Then they had to suffer through two hot British girls playing a little game called “battleshits.”

The film featured a few notable cameos. Jaime Kennedy turned in possibly the creepiest performance he’s ever done, and Ryan Reynolds played a supergay doctor. It’s just a hunch, but something tells me that the Johnny come lately’s are going to be snatching copies of Harold and Kumar up so they can see Silk Spectre II’s boobies if they missed it the first time. That’s right, Malin Akerman plays Liane the hot girlfriend of the disgusting Freakshow. And I cannot forget Neil Patrick Harris’ brilliant, horny, drug induced appearance before he came out with his gay revelation.
Look out for Kumar’s love montage with a gigantic bag of weed to the tune of Heart’s “Crazy on You.” It’s one of the most hysterical scenes ever, especially after Kumar backhands the bag of weed: “Learn how to make coffee you fucking whore!” Even though I haven’t watched the sequel yet, I salute Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle for being a modern Jersey classic!

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol. 5: Bon Jovi – New Jersey

Posted on September 6, 2008 by sexyarmpit

Earlier today, just about 15 miles south of where I’m sitting at my computer Jon Bon Jovi hosted a fundraising engagement for Barack Obama and the Democratic National Convention at his mansion on the Navesink River. According to the Associated Press article, it cost each of the approximately 100 attendants over $30,000 to be there. You know me, whenever Barack is brought up I can’t help but spew the obligatory word play. Like when I sit around and wonder if Jon Bon Jovi and Barack Obama were Barakken like Dokken and Baracking out with their cocks out! There’s about 2 people in the entire world who will get a chuckle out of that. It’s those 2 middle aged South Koreans whom I write this blog for.

For the past several years, Jon Bon Jovi has been heavily involved in fundraising for the Democratic party, but he’s also known to spread his benevolence around in various other ways. For instance, Jon Bon Jovi also donated $1 million dollars to the city of Newark, N.J to build housing for homeless people with special needs such as AIDS.

A while back in 1988, Bon Jovi did another cool thing for Jersey. The band released their 4th album and simply named it New Jersey. For those of you who were caught up in the “hair band” scene at that time then you know this album was pretty damn special. Perhaps, it was more special to those of us from Jersey. Imagine owning an album named after your state that featured colossal hits like “Bad Medicine,” “I’ll Be There For You,” “Born To Be My Baby,” and “Lay Your Hands on Me.” Those are songs you probably all know, some of you probably hate, but you ALL know how they go! Wikipedia confirms that New Jersey holds the record for most Top 10 singles from a rock album with 5! The record still remains. Let’s see if lamos like Daughtry and Nickelback can pull off something like that, huh?!?!

Even though Bon Jovi had successful albums prior to it’s release, New Jersey showed that mega stardom wasn’t going to make them turn their backs on the state that put them on the map. Naming the album after their home state illustrates how they revere N.J. It’s rare that people who have made it big from Jersey talk about it highly. Usually people can’t wait to move away and then immediately turn around and trash the state. They’ll rip N.J a new asshole without flinching AND in public no less. Fortunately, guys like Springsteen, Jon Bon Jovi, and Kevin Smith proudly admit they’re from Jersey. Even with all of New Jersey’s faults and underhanded reputation, they aren’t afraid to hail the state and give back to the community. When I first heard that Bon Jovi was naming his album New Jersey I thought that was one of the coolest things ever. It’s a moment that I consider a proud one no matter how minuscule it may seem.

Track to Download Now:

Bon Jovi’s New Jersey contains “99 In the Shade” and is one of Bon Jovi’s most underrated tracks!

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol. 4: WWF’s Land of a Thousand Dances

Posted on September 1, 2008 by sexyarmpit

Sometimes I sit and wonder why I feel like I haven’t reached my full potential in life. Moments later it occurs to me that I could recite all the banter from “The Wrestling Album.”

Back when WWE was called The World Wrestling Federation, 1985 to be exact, not only was I pretending to dodge bullets from the Libyans’ van, but I was also playing the shit out of this album cut by all the WWF wrestlers. In between songs, Vince McMahon, Mean Gene, and Jesse “The Body” Ventura provided color commentary which made the album quite original. I used to pose in the mirror to “Real American” ( Hulkster’s theme but originally for the U.S Express’ Mike Rotundo and Barry Windham) dance around like a maniac to JYD’s “Grab Them Cakes,” and pretend I knew how to line dance when “Don’t Go Messin’ with a Country Boy” by Hillbilly Jim kicked in. And sure, I’ll admit that I used to listen to Jimmy Hart’s “Eat Your Heart Out Rick Springfield,” and Rowdy Roddy Piper’s catchy tune “For Everybody” incessantly.

So what, maybe I have a few of these songs on my iPod. I’m sure you have some incriminating shit on yours too. Some TMNT “Pizza Power” anyone? I’ll forgive that because at least mutated super hero turtles were involved. But Ini Kamoze’s Hotstepper and Right Said Fred? C’mon, it looks like you need some higher quality embarrassment so you better start downloading The Wrestling Album. You see, I don’t really care if someone’s in my car and my iPod starts to play the WWF wrestler’s version of Land of a Thousand Dances. You’d be surprised at what a blast it is. I used to stare at the album cover and pick out who was singing each line.

You’ll never see anything like this again. All the wrestlers were together, singing and clapping in tandem. It was like the WWF version of We Are the World only not for charity and the opposite of touching. So how does this tie in to New Jersey? Well, Piper goes off on The Goonies, The Iron Shiek spits, Bundy threatens to squash us with his Avalanche, and perhaps the greatest manager of all time Bobby “The Brain” Heenan brilliantly warns: “I’m gonna stretch ya from here to New Jersay!” (3:18) Look out for cameos by Meatloaf and Mona Flambe aka Cyndi Lauper! As Jesse “The Body” Ventura said: “I’m gonna crush ya and ill see you lata!”