“Death Is But a Door, The Toilet Is But a Window…I’ll Be Back”

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Vigo on My Toilet
“Only a Carpathian would come back to life now and choose Jay’s bathroom. Tasty pick bonehead!” 
– Peter Venkman

I’m going to wager that not too many people have Vigo The Carpathian staring at them while they are pissing. That smug bastard. He’s looking at me every time I take a leak. I try to do my business in the bathroom as quickly as possible knowing that at any moment he could come alive and rip right through the cheap Wal-Mart frame I’ve enclosed him in. Surprisingly, Vigo has tricked some guests who have never seen Ghostbusters 2 into thinking that I have some sort of fine art in my bathroom. It’s better that they think that anyway. Although if you’re ever constipated, sitting there with Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy looking right over your shoulder will scare the shit out of you real quick.

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STAR KILLER: Savoring Their Surge of Success

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star killer,new york city,hard rock,jasin cadic
STAR KILLER Photo by Coco Alexander (L to R): Lou LaRossa, drums – Steve Perlmutter, bass – 
Jasin Cadic, vocals – Rob Hayder, guitar – Ian Krier, guitar 

Have you ever been invigorated by a feeling of accomplishment when you get a lot done in a really short amount of time? It’s a feeling that New York City’s ultimate industrial rockers Star Killer are extremely familiar with. Progressing at a breakneck speed, it’s as if the band has taken a quantum leap, except Scott Bakula’s not at the forefront, it’s NJ born lead singer Jasin Cadic, who I spoke to recently upon hearing the news of their upcoming tour. “It’s a combination of luck, talent, and a lifetime of networking and connections all coming together at the right moment” said Cadic. Star Killer will now be moving full throttle into a tour with CombiChrist.

Any band that has formed within the last couple of years would kill to be in Star Killer’s boots right now. And although they are savoring these moments, Cadic mentioned that it isn’t without added stress and responsibilities. For many rock bands, it’s admirable to write a “To Do” list, but sometimes it’s futile. In fact, I can probably tell you that most of them read like this: 1) Rock really hard 2) Get Super famous 3) Get crazy drunk with Lemmy 4) Bang a bunch of groupies. Well, I guess if you’re going to have a to-do list that would be a better jumping off point than some bands start out with. I’ve seen bands come together, fantasize about stardom, practice a lot, but yet never even make it to the stage. In Star Killer’s case, merely their 7th live show will be on a tour in support of CombiChrist, one of the most eminent electro-industrial bands. CombiChrist, who will be promoting their latest work “Throat Full of Glass,” share a similar musical vibe with Star Killer which is credited to the bands roots.

This tour is reminiscent of Han Solo running into Lando on Cloud City as it reunites Cadic with old friend and former band mate Combi’s drummer, Joe Letz. Several years ago Cadic and Letz started their first serious band, Handful of Dust. Cadic told the Sexy Armpit that Letz is still one of his closest friends and that the tour “reunites us in a musical setting which is very full circle and exciting.” (Guitarist Rob Hayder of Star Killer was also in Handful of Dust for a number of years as well) Cadic expressed his appreciation for CombiChrist having Star Killer on the tour: “We are very fortunate and lucky that CombiChrist has given us this amazing opportunity. Combichrist is one of the best industrial bands out there today, bands would kill to be on this tour, and we don’t take that lightly. We plan on giving it all we got on this tour.” After their tour with CombiChrist ends, Star Killer has responded to the demands of their fans by setting up a few more big New York shows.

Their debut EP featuring the single “As The Sky Is Falling,” has been downloaded in the U.S, and around the world. Their first live show was not your average rock gig. Star Killer debuted at the House of Blues in New Orleans on Halloween 2010 at the world’s most badass Halloween party, The Endless Night Vampire Ball. After the overwhelming response from that show generated a positive buzz, packed shows in New York and New Jersey soon followed. From there, it’s like they’ve been accelerating to ludicrous speed with no sign of slowing down. I asked Jasin if they were ready for the rocket ride and he replied, “Myself and Star Killer are ready for whatever the future holds, no matter how big, I say bring it!” Check out the CombiChrist tour with STAR KILLER on Wednesday, May 4th at Irving Plaza in New York City.

Star Killer’s diabolical sounds of cosmic chaos are not only a favorite here at The Sexy Armpit, but they have also been embraced by Brian Basher at Hard Rock Nights Radio, The Metal Mish, as well as other college radio stations around the Tri-State area. Tune in and ask them for more Star Killer!

Can’t stand that you only have 6 songs by Star Killer? Well, you have two options. Head over to their Reverb Nation page right now and check out an exclusive track “Echoes and Amputations,” a track not on their EP. Or you can wait patiently until their follow up CD gets released. Jasin Cadic has confirmed that Star Killer will be returning to the studio this summer. More music from Star Killer is on the way!

CombiChrist with STAR KILLER Tour Dates
5/2 Norfolk VA             Norva
5/3 Baltimore MD         Bourbon Street
5/4 New York NY        Irving Plaza
5/6 Worcester MA         Palladium
5/9 Detroit MI                Harpo’s
5/11 Minneapolis MN    Ground Zero
5/16 Portland OR           Hawthorne Theater
5/17 Sacramento CA      Ace of Spaces
5/19 Santa Ana CA        The Galaxy
5/22 Phoenix AZ            Nile Theater
5/23 Albuquerque NM    Sunshine Theater
5/24 El Paso TX              Club Peoria
5/25 Lubbock TX            Jakes
5/26 Dallas TX                South Side Music Hall
5/27 Houston TX             Numbers
5/28 San Antonio TX      White Rabbit
5/30 Jacksonville FL        Jack Rabbit’s
5/31 Orlando FL              Club Firestone
6/1 West Palm Beach FL Respectable Street
6/2 Tampa FL                  State Theater
6/3 Spartanburg SC         Ground Zero
6/4 Atlanta GA                Masquerade
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NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 74: Take Sesame Street To The Jersey Shore

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jersey shore sesame street 2

Mash-ups in pop culture are inevitable no matter how blasphemous. If you grew up watching Sesame Street and The Muppet Show, then there’s a damn good chance you are furious over the mere idea of the Sesame Street gang getting mixed up with the cast of Jersey Shore. It’s like the apostles banding together to create one righteously badass boy band, it’s just something that’s never supposed to happen. But when t-shirt sales are involved, all bets are off!

For some reason I can see Bert and Ernie going tanning and doing laundry, but I doubt I’d catch them at the gym since they seem pretty doughy. Maybe The Situation and Pauly D. have inspired them to tone up for beach season or bathtub season in their case? Oscar seems to fit right in. He’s chillin’ in a trash can that has an “I Heart Jersey” sign on it, and I’m sure he’ll be quite happy since we’ve got a helluva lot of trash here in Jersey. They really should’ve got the Muppets in on this and asked Miss Piggy if she wanted to be Snooki.

jersey shore sesame street 1

In the t-shirt pictured above, It looks like Cookie Monster turned red from too much tanning and had a sex change. I always thought Cookie Monster was male but seeing him as Snooki Monster has me worried. I hope Cookie Monster didn’t go and have any weird Muppet operation. I realize it’s only a play on words but who knows, right? Do you have a direct line into Cookie Monster’s personal affairs? Does he tell you his innermost feelings? Maybe he was never comfortable as himself and he engorges himself with COOOOOOKIES to help alleviate his misery. Until you truly know Cookie Monster then don’t make any assumptions! If he wants to have an operation to become a pudgy, tanned guidette who eats pickles instead of cookies, then so be it. We love you either way Cookie Monster.

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New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.54: Hatchet

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Hatchet NJ DMV
Samuel Barrat a.k.a Shapiro Driver’s License in HATCHET

In Hatchet (2006), the character of the pseudo filmmaker scumbag Shapiro (Joel Murray) was somewhat of a genius if you ask me! Shapiro went around with a video camera recording hot “Girls Gone Wild” type exploits of Misty and Jenna who frequently flashed their goods to the camera.

Shapiro convinced airhead girls that he was a film producer so he could amass his own little porn collection. He was basically a hornball whose name really wasn’t Shapiro after all. There’s nothing worse than a guy who goes around calling himself a filmmaker when he’s actually never worked on an actual film before, but I guess I can let it slide since low budget porn does actually count.

Hatchet NJ
“So he really didn’t work for Bayou Beavers?” – Misty

In this quick scene, Ben (Joel Moore) finds Shapiro’s wallet. Inside there was an American Excess credit card, $10 bucks, a condom, and a couple of business cards. Ben also pulls out his drivers license to discover that he’s really Samuel Barrat from Newark NJ! He must have been pretty desperate for girls to film if he had to travel all the way down to New Orleans. We also find out that Barrat is a senior marketing manager for Whitman Diagnostics located in Hoboken, NJ. Of course, that was before Victor Crowley made him a headless marketing manager.

Hatchet Shapiro
Northeastern areas of NJ have the (201) area code
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Santino Saturday Night!

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santino saturday
From The WWE Fall Preview 2007: “From Paterson, NJ”

“Wrestlemahnia” as Santino Marella pronounces it, is upon us! Whether you’re a wrestling fan or not, it’s the Super Bowl of sports entertainment. That isn’t some cliched pop culture analogy either, it’s true. No matter how many cringe worthy moments there usually are at Wrestlemania, I still get excited for the event after all these years. And I’m sure you’ve heard by now that Snooki from Jersey Shore will attempt to channel her fiery cat fighting skills as well as her horrific fake tan to help John Morrison and Trish Stratus subdue Dolph Ziggler and Lay-Cool at Wrestlemania 27.

In honor of the funniest man in WWE, Santino Marella, I’ve dubbed tonight Santino Saturday Night. I’m sure you can guess what tomorrow morning is! Why would I dedicate an entire post to The Tortellini of Temptation? Aside from constantly making me laugh, when Santino was first introduced in WWE he hailed from Paterson New Jersey, which is spelled with one T contrary to it’s spelling in the picture above. Nowadays, he’s announced as being from Calabria, Italy, but he was actually born in Canada. No matter what, I still fondly recall the days that the WWE writers got a kick out of claiming he was from New Jersey. Tomorrow, Santino will team up with his partner Vladimir Kozlov, The Big Show, and Kane to take on I-C Champ Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Heath Slater, and Justin Gabriel.

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The Man Cave Interviews The Sexy Armpit!

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[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR0imy5OA-w?rel=0]

Geof and Dan the cameraman from one of the best blogs around, The Man-Cave, filmed an impromptu interview with none other than The Sexy Armpit at the Monster Mania Convention in Cherry Hill NJ on March 12th, 2011. I had a lot of fun and I felt like I was on a much lower budget Jimmy Kimmel Live or something. Geof has been on a rampage with podcasting and Youtube interviews, and there’s been daily updates over there so after you watch the interview, take a trip into The Man-Cave and check it all out! Thanks for the interview Geof! http://www.theman-cave.com/

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Scarfin’ It With The Armpit 4: Hoboken Restaurants and Fruity Pebbles

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3Forty Grill 1
Slow Roasted Beet and Crispy Warm Goat Cheese Salad at 3Forty Grill in Hoboken

As a belated birthday trip Miss Sexy Armpit and I stayed at the ultra swank W Hotel in Hoboken and also ate at a couple of excellent restaurants. Dinner at the 3Forty Grill was fantastic and breakfast (brunch as they refer to it) at Bin 14.

3Forty Grill 2
Char Grilled 10 oz. Filet Mignon 

3Forty Grill’s menu is packed with creative dishes. We decided to go crazy and share a salad and an appetizer before our entree. We chose the slow roasted beet and crispy warm goat cheese salad which, thanks to their online menu, featured “frisee, candied walnuts, caramelized apples, and sherry viniagrette.” For the appetizer we went with the ridiculously tasty creamy truffle mac n’ cheese fritters which also contained “black forest ham, sriracha aioli.” I’m not really a steak guy but I had a good feeling about the Char Grilled 10 oz. Filet Mignon which is described on their menu as follows: “topped with applewood smoked bacon, blue cheese and glazed shallots, sour cream and chive whipped potatoes, almond french beans, steak sauce butter.” Everything was outstanding. As you can see in the picture, their presentation is equally as good as their food.

If you feel like splurging a little, give the 3Forty Grill a shot. I suggest waiting until it gets dark because the lighting inside the dining area combined with the waterfront view of Manhattan creates a modern, romantic ambiance.

Trying to get into one of Hoboken’s notable pancake houses, Stacks, on a Sunday morning was a gigantic pain in the ass. The line was almost out the door. I’m not one to wait on long lines, especially considering that I don’t even really like pancakes all that much. I just wanted some damn breakfast! Then we discovered there was an hour wait at The Turning Point, so we walked over to Washington Street and waltzed into Bin 14 after seeing their “brunch” sign. To me, brunch is such an absurd word. Do they really think I’m going to tell my readers that I had “brunch?”

Bin 14 is primarily known as a wine bar, but it also has a delicious brunch breakfast. We ordered eggs any style with bacon and potatoes and it was freaking awesome. Something was different about this order of bacon and eggs. You can get that stuff anywhere, but this was not like getting it from a diner. This was one of the best breakfasts I’ve ever had. The best part was, I didn’t feel 40 pounds heavier after eating it either, much like I do when I leave a diner or Perkins.

fruity pebbles treats
Next up is my latest snackquisition. Yes I just coined that word! Use it and mention The Sexy Armpit! What kind of a wild goose chase would it be if these babies weren’t the end result? Ever since I saw the commercial for these Fruity Pebbles Treats I’ve wanted them so bad. Finally, after infiltrating every grocery store in New Jersey, I was able to get my hands on both the original and Cocoa versions, and they were so worth it. Think Rice Krispie treats only substitute Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles.
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“Reboot, Rebound…”

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Photobucket

You’re probably thinking that this post will compare and contrast the finer points of the Canadian CGI cartoon ReBoot that aired in the mid ’90s with Martin Lawrence’s 2005 theatrical tour de force Rebound. I’ll tell you this: You’re completely f’n wrong! This post will merely serve as an update as to what The Sexy Armpit has been up to as of late.

The lack of posting recently is because there’s been so much cool shit going on. I feel like Michael Cera’s character Evan in Superbad. Through all this welcome craziness, I haven’t had much time to write, but now I’m BACK! I didn’t want to make my little comeback without a new look, so take it all in! Breathe in all the noxious fumes! Ahh yes, “Reboot, Rebound…” not only signifies a new look here at The Sexy Armpit but it’s actually a line from The Dirty Pearls newest single “Who’s Coming Back to Who?” available now on iTunes and Amazon via the link below.

If you’re here reading this post and you still haven’t listened to at least ONE Dirty Pearls track then I’ll give you 30 – 60 seconds to create a new tab in your browser and go listen now. Come right back of course!

You’re still here? That means you’re either already aware of the New York City’s reigning kings of rock and roll, or you are just being an obstinate prick. You won’t regret discovering music from The Dirty Pearls, and you better get used to them because you’ll be hearing a lot more from them in the future and SEEING them too. The Dirty Pearls just wrapped up filming their first official music video for “Who’s Coming Back to Who?” and The Sexy Armpit was on location in NYC to capture behind the scenes footage for the making of the video. You’ll see that very soon, but until then I highly recommend you download the track because it’s so addictive that you’ll want to listen to it a bunch of times in a row.

I can’t reveal many details about the actual video yet, but I can say that the performance aspect has an old school rock and roll feel. Bands like The Beatles The Stones, KISS, AC/DC, and mostly all the great rockers have band members with their own distinct personality and look. The Dirty Pearls are bringing that idea to a new generation and their music and image will appeal to fans young and old.

At the helm directing the video was Jasin Cadic, lead singer of Star Killer and co-writer of the upcoming film The Perfect Age of Rock and Roll. I am hereby crediting Jasin and The Dirty Pearls for resuscitating the long forgotten art of the music video. After you see this video you will recall the days of being fascinated by MTV for hours and hours and all they played was videos. Judging from what I saw on the set, “Who’s Coming Back to Who?” restores hope for a full force comeback of stylish and bombastic music videos. Stay tuned!

*Remember, you still have time to enter The Green Hornet Toy Giveaway which ends this week. More info here.

http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=thesexarm-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B004T8GP9Y&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr

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