New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.39: Dallas

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Dallas spent 13 years on the air and in its 14 seasons, New Jersey was mentioned only once. Regardless of being mostly Jersey-less, it’s still one of my favorite TV shows of all time. One NJ namedropping seems like one too many since The Garden State is probably the furthest thing from the wheelin’ and dealin’ of a Texas oil company. In Season 13, Sasha Mitchell (Cody on Step by Step, Kickboxer sequels, and Slammed) joined the cast as James Beaumont, J.R’s illegitimate son. In this scene he reveals a bit of his past to J.R’s assisstant, Sly Lovegren, just after applying suntan lotion on her back.

tv,dallas,dvd,new jersey,J.R Ewing
“Are you sure you don’t want to take this off?” 
– Good ‘ol James – always worried about those tan lines!

JAMES: “I was kicked out of 3 different schools in 3 different countries.”

SLY: “You don’t sound very European.”
JAMES: “No, when I was 10 my parents sent me to a military school in New Jersey…”

*Just in case you want to model your kid after James Beaumont from Dallas, two of the most popular military schools in New Jersey are The U.S Military Academy Prep School at Fort Monmouth aka West Point Prep, and Cedar Bridge Military Academy in Toms River, NJ.

www.SexyArmpit.com

Madonna in New Jersey: “Into The Groove” – Blond Ambition Tour 1990

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Recently, Madonna lent her music to Fox’s show Glee, and I inadvertently caught bits and pieces of it. I’m sorry if you love the show, but it’s fairly cheesy. Don’t get me wrong, Jane Lynch is hysterical, but the rest of the show just reminds me of a hipper version of High School Musical. The episode I saw, “The Power of Madonna,” had the cast performing Madonna’s big hits and recreating her videos throughout the show, but I would much rather hear the real thing.

I headed over to trusty YouTube and found a clip of Madonna performing one of my favorite songs of hers in New Jersey! It’s “Into The Groove,” from the East Rutherford, NJ stop on the Blond Ambition Tour in June of 1990 which took place at the Meadowlands Arena (aka Izod Center). If you can get past the banter at the beginning, it’s a damn fine performance, just as Madonna’s usually are. Also, it’s obvious that Lady Gaga’s style in the prison scene in her video for “Telephone” is clearly inspired by Blond Ambition era Madonna.

I’ll admit that I wanted to maul Madonna when I was a kid. It was abnormal because while most of my friends were tossing around a baseball with their friends, I was tossing in videocasettes of Desperately Seeking Susan, Who’s That Girl, and The Virgin Tour VHS tape to ogle my future wife. I don’t regret not throwing the baseball around since I knew I wasn’t MLB bound, but I chalked it up to the fact that all my Madonna “research” may come in handy someday when I’m older and I need to write a blog post about one of Madonna’s performances in New Jersey.

www.SexyArmpit.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 49: Guidon’t!

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guido,new jersey,jersey shore,shirt
The great Darius Whiteplume of Adventures in Nerdliness brought this tee to The Sexy Armpit’s attention. Guidos have been associated with Jersey since the dawn of time. When cavemen roamed the land, tanned, roided up, fist pounding, shaved beasts scientifically referred to as Guidos gallivanted around New Jersey. For the past several years anthropologists knew they weren’t officially extinct, but they definitely seemed dormant for a while, until now. Thanks to MTV’s Jersey Shore we’ve seen more and more guidos come out of the woodwork, almost as if they think it’s socially acceptable to be a Guido now. Go back and take refuge in the club where you belong! The Guido has become a mockery and this shirt sums up that sentiment perfectly. Regardless, they are more marketable now than ever because of Snooki, The Situation, and the rest of MTV’s Jersey Shore cast. The graphic on this tee would make a great logo for Guidobusters: The Movie, how much do you want to bet it gets greenlit before Ghostbusters 3?

**T-Shirt Bordello refers to this shirt as their “Fist Pumping Tribute to Jersey Shore” and it’s “made of 100% cotton for that comfy feeling you get after changing the channel from Jersey Shore.” Just before this post was published the tee was on sale for a rock bottom price of $2.99, so get it while you can! www.tshirtbordello.com

www.SexyArmpit.com

Monique “The Original Gata” Dupree is April’s Garden State Playmate!

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newark,new jersey,monique dupree

April’s Garden State Playmate is Newark-born actress and model Monique “The Original Gata” Dupree. She’s starred in several films such as Lean On Me, Bachelor Party in the Bungalow Of The Damned, The Skeleton Key 2, and Step Up 3-D. It’s easy to relate to “The Original Gata,” because she loves her kids, horror movies, and even wrestling! For this month’s GSP, The Sexy Armpit presents a special interview with Monique Dupree!

ARMPIT: Hey Monique! You’re an actress, model, and even a singer. You have your hands in so many different projects and it all sounds impossible to keep track of. I forget when I have a freaking dentist appointment! Do you have someone that helps you out? How do you keep your shit together so well? Do you sleep?

MONIQUE: Sleep? What IS that, lol I have a very supportive family and without them, I wouldn’t be able to accomplish a quarter of what I do. Especially my oldest, Monet. That girl is my ROCK.

ARMPIT: So, after 8 children, not many moms are rocking a body like yours, how doooo you do it?

MONIQUE: It’s really hard to get back into shape after each baby. I drink lots of water, watch my diet a bit, and exercise. Sounds easy, but throw that in with everything else and it becomes a magic trick!

newark,actress,new jersey,monique dupree

ARMPIT: When you indulge, what is your favorite thing to eat or snack on?

MONIQUE: GODIVA and Starbucks OMG yes lawd!! lol that’s a dangerous combo right there.

ARMPIT: You had one of the best lines in Bachelor Party in the Bungalow Of The Damned: “So…where can we drop our pom poms?” You seem to have a knack for delivering tongue in cheek lines like that. Do you consider yourself a funny person? Sexy AND funny is a rare combo!

MONIQUE: Actually, I don’t, although I’ve always wanted to do comedy, which I’m finally getting into. I so admire those with uncanny comedic timing.

ARMPIT: I’m a big fan of The Replacements, what was it like appearing in that film?

MONIQUE: It was pretty fun. I’m not a big football fan, but after filming I surely felt like I was.

ARMPIT: You will appear in the upcoming Step Up 3-D. Will you be playing a dancer?

MONIQUE: Yup. I was a dancer in the film. Dancing is hard enough as it is, but having to dance over and over and over AND add dust and wind it was like jeesh!

ARMPIT: Do you ever get sick of having such large breasts? Do you feel like they just get in the way sometimes?

MONIQUE: YES! I’ve actually discussed having a reduction. I know some of my fans would be like WTF, but its really hard on my back. With each kid I have, it seems they grow bigger and bigger. It just doesn’t feel as good as it looks.

newark,new jersey,actress,monique dupree

ARMPIT: Since it’s widely known that you have no qualms about being naked, how do you feel about your kids seeing some of your more naughty film appearances? Are you the type of mom who filters what her kids see?

MONIQUE: I don’t filter my children as long as they have a basic understanding of things that they are watching first. If they see a film that has violence, they know it’s not real. They’ve been on set with me and understand that it’s not real. I speak to my children honestly and intelligently, instead of baby feeding them information so to speak. They understand alot more than we give them credit for.

ARMPIT: At the risk of actually sounding like a mature and credible interviewer, how has the Internet and social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter effected your career?

MONIQUE: The Internet hurts and helps at the same time for me. But if you use the networking sites properly, the good will far outweigh the bad.

ARMPIT: As the First African American “Tromette” is there a tidbit that ONLY you can reveal to us about the legendary Lloyd Kaufman?

MONIQUE: Yeah…Lloyd Kaufman is My FATHER! lol, I’m sorry, I just had to do it. No. What you see is what you get with Lloyd. He’s the great man that he appears to be, very knowledgeable and loves the independent arts.

ARMPIT: Did you decide to homeschool your kids because of your own experience in Newark schools growing up?

MONIQUE: Yes and No. I decided to homeschool my children because a few of them are considered to have learning disabilities and the schools’ answer to that was to put them in special education classes because the teachers were already overwhelmed with the student to teacher ratio in the first place. Then to have a child you have to constantly pay extra attention to? I took them out because as their parent, it’s my duty to make sure they get the best education possible by any means necessary. Even if it means killing myself to do it. By the way, teachers are unsung heroes. They have to put up with SO much for so little pay. I admire and respect them. So my decision was not based on the teachers performances. it was based on the way the system has things set up to run…it needs to change.

ARMPIT: On a scale of 1 being completely SUCKY and 10 being Bill and Ted EXCELLENT, where does Corey Booker rate as mayor of Newark?

MONIQUE: I’ll give Corey a 6

ARMPIT: Daamn! Besides you, what’s sexy about New Jersey?

MONIQUE: Lol…ummm Newark!

ARMPIT: Can you recommend some good spots to our readers that you frequent in New Jersey? Any local restaurants, shops, clubs etc?

MONIQUE: I’m a dark girl…I frequent QXT’s in Newark. And Queens Pizza!!!! yeah!! I freaking LOVE their food. That’s real pizza for ya!

armpit note: QXT’s is NJ’s alternative dance club on Mulberry Street in Newark and Queen’s Pizza is on Halsey Street in Newark.

ARMPIT: Cool. Who are some of your celebrity crushes?

MONIQUE: oooo, Well, I have a crush on Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie (ha, that’s funny) Prince, Jeff Hardy, Stephen Baldwin, Lucy Lui, Drew Barrymore and Hugh Jackman.

ARMPIT: You’re in luck Monique, I hear if you donate money to Stephen Baldwin he’s yours for life! Now let’s pretend that The Sopranos is still in production and you have a shot at a role in the series. Out of the following options, which role would you like the most and please give a short explanation of why:

a) A luscious exotic dancer at the Bada Bing club
b) Silvio is still in a coma and you’ll play his hot new nurse
c) Tony Soprano’s deaf masseuse. (a non-speaking role, but moans a lot when Tony has sex with her!)
d) A bisexual girl who Meadow finds herself attracted to

MONIQUE: D …I would so choose D!!! Explanation: have you SEEN MEADOW??? Nuff said

ARMPIT: Haha awesome! A BIG thank you to the lovely Monique Dupree!! Pay a visit to some of her websites:

http://www.moniquedupree.com/
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2374082/
www.twitter.com/originalgata
www.myspace.com/theoriginalgata
http://www.myspace.com/negrochilde
http://www.youtube.com/moniquedupree7

www.SexyArmpit.com

Happy 73rd Birthday to Jack Nicholson!

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batman,the joker,jack nicholson,neptune city,new jersey

Happy Birthday to one of the greatest actors of our time and Jersey boy Jack Nicholson! Nicholson grew up in Neptune City, New Jersey and attended Manasquan High School. Jack was voted class clown by the class of 1954 which seems even more comical when you think about how 35 years later he would become one of pop culture’s most famous clowns, The Clown Prince of Crime, THE JOKER! Sure Heath Ledger gave a one of a kind performance in The Dark Knight, but Jack revolutionized the role in 1989’s Batman. If you mix Jack’s performance in one of my favorite films of all time, The Shining, with his turn as The Joker, you will likely arrive at something very close to Heath Ledger’s approach to The Joker character. Thank you Jack for all the superb, over the top, and ridiculously entertaining performances throughout your career!

www.SexyArmpit.com

DC Comics Digital Subscriptions

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new jersey,the meadowlands,comic books
I can only imagine what the Disney/Marvel juggernaut will be unleashing on us within the next few years as their alliance grows stronger. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for my personal favorite, DC Comics. Why did it take blockbuster movies like The Dark Knight and Iron Man to make the two big comic book companies finally nut up and begin to truly exploit some of their other heroes? DC has a responsibility to it’s readers to provide them with the best adventures of our favorite characters in the various mediums available. The DCU animated movies are a step in the right direction, but first, innovation needs to be applied to the source material.

I was never a hardcore Green Lantern fan, but I can imagine how ridiculously pumped true GL fans will be in June of 2011 when the film hits theaters. Did it really take 23 years for a theatrical version of Watchmen to hit the silver screen? Shit, the rights to make a definitive Batman film were purchased from DC in 1979 and after enough scripts to fold up an entire origami model of Wayne Manor, the movie was finally produced and released 10 years later. Anticipation counts for something, but totally frustrating the shit out of your fans is a completely different story. I don’t mind waiting a couple of years for another Batman sequel, but if I have to wait 4 or 5 years I’ll be having flashbacks to the 8 year span of time that it took for WB and DC to grow enough cajones to release Batman Begins. They clearly wanted to be sure that the public had pretty much came to terms with 1997’s farce Batman and Robin. Finally, this brings me to my point, why the hell is DC Comics taking their sweet old time in rolling out a digital subscription plan?

Rather than living in the past and pandering to the old school of fans, DC desperately needs to commit itself to using the most cutting edge technology at all times. If there are so many readers out there who only want to buy print versions of their favorite comics, then why not produce both the hard copies as well as the digitally scanned issues? I’ve read some bullshit on the Internet that DC reps claim that they haven’t found the right method of presenting a comic book via the Internet. That’s funny considering you can find almost any popular comic available for download somewhere on the Internet. Collectors are nice enough to scan them in for archival purposes rather than alternatively finding an issue on eBay and paying a ridiculous $15 or $20 bucks for a comic with yellow pages.

comics,meadowlands,new jersey
Based in New Jersey, Galusha’s Zuda Webcomic “The Meadowlands” is awesome,
but still not exactly a digital subscription of my favorite DC comic books

What better way to reintroduce lesser known characters and bring superheroes to the forefront than by revolutionizing the way we read comics books? Making the comic book relevant again should be of paramount importance to the newfangled DC Entertainment. For the past few years, DC’s Zuda imprint has been their only foray into webcomics. The only problem with it is that the comics Zuda features are all original works, none of our favorite characters from say…Justice League or The Outsiders. It’s also a competition which provides independent artists and writers the opportunity to showcase their material. Think of it as the American Idol of DC Comics.

A true comic book fan merely wants an escape. They want to experience stories of their favorite heroes while being immersed in spectacular comic art. Personally, I could care less if I have the actual issue in my hand or not. It’s even better if I don’t because I have enough crap in my bedroom and I don’t need even more stacks of comics. My large screen computer monitor is a perfect way to enjoy a comic book, and it would sure make storing and organizing your collection a breeze. Many of us have learned to let go of albums, definitely shitcanned VHS and cassette tapes, and we’re even forgetting about CD’s, so why can’t we forego comic books? The best way of making a superhero eternal is to immortalize them on the Internet, or in a more modern fashion, make them available through an easy one click purchase on iTunes. As far as I’m concerned the fact that Marvel does offer digital subscriptions is a huge win for them. If DC Entertainment wants to compete on the same level as Disney/Marvel, they need to get in the game.

www.SexyArmpit.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 48: Bon Jovi “They’re Back!”

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Vintage Bon Jovi “New Jersey” T-Shirt from 1988

What a coincidence! This vintage Bon Jovi New Jersey T-shirt from 1988 is going for a whopping $150 bucks on eBay and an average ticket for Bon Jovi’s string of upcoming shows at the New Meadowlands Arena in May just so happens to be the same price! What a RIP! Of course, that’s not as bad as some of the other Jovi shirts I have seen on various sites which are going for upwards of $300 dollars! You are f-cking out of your mind if you pay that kind of money for a ratty, old t-shirt that’s more than 20 years old! I’d rather go experience an overpriced concert while simultaneously bypassing the $35 dollar beer/hot dog combo meal than buy a ridiculously priced, USED t-shirt.

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On the front of this shirt the band continues the Italian “mobster” stereotype that’s associated with New Jersey. Although, the guy on this shirt looks a lot like Lips Manlis from Dick Tracy.
bon jovi,t-shirt

And what’s with the back of this shirt? Who the hell did Jovi think they were back then, DOKKEN? This “They’re Back!” business belongs on the back of an Alice Cooper or W.A.S.P t-shirt, NOT family friendly heartthrobs Bon Jovi! I’m getting scared just reading the back of this shirt, it’s scarier than David Bryan’s horrific hair.

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Scarlet Carson’s “Burn It All” Scorches – Review by Jay Amabile

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dirty Jersey,scarlet carson,rock,cd,review
Order Scarlet Carson’s “Burn It All” at this link for $10 bucks

Does rock music still exist? Aside from a few newer bands out there, rock music, albeit the good kind, seems to be nearly extinct. Truthfully, the suckyness of new rock music is one of the reasons why I stopped listening to radio almost 6 years ago. Think about how many rock stations folded or changed formats since that time. My main source for new music are blogs, iTunes, Pandora, MySpace, and any other bands space junk that’s floating around the Internet. What’s amazing is that even a routine task such as checking the Starland Ballroom’s concert schedule on their website lead me to discover a surprisingly awesome band, Scarlet Carson, who recently released their 2nd album Burn It All (available here). My curiosity was piqued, but I figured it was probably too good to be true. I gave the album a few in depth listens and in this review I’ll tell you whether Scarlet Carson is another flash in the pan or a force powerful enough to restore my faith in rock music.
While listening to Scarlet Carson’s fearless brand of rock and roll, I couldn’t believe these guys are from New Jersey. Labeling their type of sound as “Dirty Jersey Rock and Roll,” is brave since they are the first ones to step out of the shadow of “The Jersey Sound” i.e (Sinatra, Springsteen, The Rascals, The Jukes, Bon Jovi etc) and play what they want, not just what people think Jersey bands are supposed to sound like. Coming out of Jersey has only helped intensify their mighty ambitions. It’s not like they grew up around the corner from The Viper Room or The Whiskey, so lumping them into the same category as other rock bands is unfair. But, if you need some examples of what other bands Scarlet Carson might share the bill with at a rock festival, it would probably be Saliva, Papa Roach (who they are opening for at Starland on 4/18), and Pop Evil,  They have already played at CrueFest, so one thing is for sure, they are in NO WAY Nickelbacky. Lead singer and lyricist Santino Campanelli has more in common with Californians such as M.Shadows of Avenged Sevenfold and Jacoby Shaddix of Papa Roach than he does with any famous singer to ever come out of Jersey.
Their second release, Burn it All, is a superior rock album. In the first track, Overture, a transistor radio has lost its signal, similar to my search for good rock music, but soon the faint sounds grow clearer. Intense driving guitar chords and primal drum beats establish the scene. Finally we’ve got ourselves some rock and I’m sure as hell ready for it. The adrenalized title track features a ballistic guitar solo that will literally melt your brain and make your eyes go crossed. The song rises to a huge climatic finale and trails off with a soft reprise of the songs guitar riff. It’s a cool little reinforcement trick because it got stuck in my head and I wanted to hear it again already. But, with my senses elevated I couldn’t wait to hear the rest of the album.
All of a sudden, a car engine ignites and screeches off as the headbanger “Gone Baby Gone” erupted from my speakers. It’s all about getting away from a chick who is total trouble. Like most of the tracks here, this modern rocker features another blazing guitar solo and sounds like it should be in the trailer for the next Fast and the Furious film. And, whether intentional or not, “Cherry’s On Top” has a riff that’s reminiscent of Aerosmith’s “Love in an Elevator.” The dilemma in this song is that there is some fine looking chick who is so super sexy. Hitting notes like crazy, frontman Santino wants to cover her “in whip cream cherry on top, I’m gonna lick it all off in all the right spots.” This track reflects the libidinous aspect of rock and is definitely not serious, depressing, or emo. Scarlet Carson shows that they are here to party and admire the finer things in life, like ’80s style red lipstick.
Up next is a resounding build up to what could be Scarlet Carson’s signature crowd interaction song. These guys aren’t only talking shit about “Sex Drugs and Rock N Roll,” they are living it. Their lyrics, liner notes, and full throttle commitment to making their rock star dreams a reality, shows there’s a genuine connection to many iconic bands who have lived this tawdry lifestyle before them. The difference? These guys are the first ones from Jersey to do it. Yeah sure we’ve had Bon Jovi and Trixter, but they were less concerned about the rock star lifestyle. Bon Jovi didn’t want to be associated with bands like GNR and Motley Crue because they feared that women and children wouldn’t come to their concerts. It was more socially acceptable to buy a Bon Jovi record or go to a Bon Jovi concert than it was Motley or even KISS. No matter what they tell you, parents feared bands like that because they heard news reports of sex, satanism, nudity, blood and all the other cool shit that is part of their aura. So I commend Scarlet Carson for being themselves from jump street. They better stay true to themselves though. I wouldn’t want to see them sell out and become Justin Bieber’s touring band or some crap like that. Even worse…don’t make a country album. Hey Scarlet – you’ve been warned!
Next, I used my keen deductive skills to determine that a drink pouring sound effect can mean only one thing: a drinking song, even more precisely “The Drinkin’ Song.” Following in the footsteps of distinguished predecessors such as KISS’ “Cold Gin,” AC/DC’s “Have a Drink on Me,” and Guns N Roses’ “Nightrain,””The Drinkin’ Song,” picks up where those anthems left off. Santino’s voice skyrockets into Myles Kennedy octaves here as he shouts, “Let’s get wasted tonight!”. It’s another standout track with layered vocals in the chorus, fist pumping “hey” chants, and a mesmerizing drum breakdown. Scarlet Carson is here to tell you that when you’re literally feeling like a gigantic heap of dung, a few drinks with your crew can help you “forget your worries, forget your problems…” I’m sure fans will be holding their drinks up during this one at the next concert – just don’t spill beer on me.
Whip out your iPhone, swipe your Zippo lighter app on, and bring down the pace a little bit “For Her Sake,” a surefire addition to Monster Ballads 2010. The low key mood doesn’t last that long because these guys aren’t done pummeling you. Get ready for the supercharged, punked out “P.L.A.D” (paid, laid, and die) that chronicles the nights when you wind up out drinking until 6am and waking up with random girls in random motels. Scarlet Carson’s lifestyle is fast paced, indulgent and in the moment, just like their tunes. Listen for the brass section in this track which proves to be a superb feature of its production.
Now we go from rock and roll revelry and drinking binges, into mind probing. What would a Scarlet Carson song sound like if they actually recorded a song inside their own heads? “My Own Head,” stands out from the rest because it’s methodical, reflective, and dark, but maintains harmonic accents. The remarkable production has helped create a very different mood in contrast to the rest of the album. I appreciate that they were brave enough to challenge themselves into creating a track with such a different vibe, and it worked. “My Own Head,” would make for an intriguing music video. If Tim Burton and Rivers Cuomo were hanging out tripping on acid and had a nightmare, this would be a perfect song to accompany it. Zach Braff will direct, I have it all planned out.
Growing up in Jersey, almost every kid dreams of living in California. The west coast seems so much more desirable and warm, and if the Beach Boys and David Lee Roth were telling us the truth, then the girls were wondrous. Don’t forget the ’80s hair band scene, replete with sexy strippers, liquor, and debauchery. What’s not to fantasize about? POOF! Back to reality and the mundane suburban rat race that defines many parts of the Garden State. It’s fitting that I listened to “West Coast Dreamer” when I was sitting in rush hour traffic on 287. This track provides a unique perspective that I haven’t heard thus far. It’s the story of a band from the east coast, dreaming of rock star status on the west coast. It’s almost as if Jersey is a c-ck blocker. It’s not easy trying to exist as a rock star or an aspiring rock star in NJ. For some reason, whether it’s an unwritten law of nature or whatever, NJ just stacks all the cards against you. Whereas you can head out to L.A and catch great rock bands almost every night of the week, all in a 2 mile vicinity. Come to Jersey and you’ll get a few good beer specials but you’ll be bombarded with tons of cover bands who perform rock versions of whatever songs are popular that weekend.
Just a warning, Scarlet Carson’s songs WILL make you instinctually play air guitar, headbang, and jump around like a madman. It might be a good idea not to listen in a place where you might look like a complete idiot. In the midst of your rock-out session, you might be wondering where Scarlet Carson’s monstrous sound comes from? The band is comprised of Santino’s clean scream, Stone’s slash-like guitar solos, Tommy Licore’s surging riffs on rhythm guitar, Mike O Mayhem’s crushing bass work, and Raab who pulverizes the drums.
Above all, the best attribute of Scarlet Carson’s “Burn It All” is its honesty. Santino writes his lyrics about being a loner focused on the bands dreams, and doing some hardcore partying in the meantime. They aren’t creating songs to market to the NFL or MLB like Bon Jovi, and they’re not formulating the next big wedding song, even though it sure would mean more cash, they are simply doing what they want to do. One of the reasons why rock music has been on the road to extinction is because bands don’t have the balls to highjack the reigns of rock. Scarlet Carson does, and they do it in style as they prove on “Burn It All.” In the immortal words of The Marvelous 3, Scarlet Carson has indeed “…brought back the rock.” www.scarletcarson.com

Upcoming shows
4/17/10 at the Stone Pony for The Break Contest
4/18/10 w/Papa Roach at The Starland Ballroom
4/23/10 at The Wonder Bar in Asbury Park
4/27/10 w/Saliva at The Highline Ballroom in NYC

www.SexyArmpit.com

Ad Jerseum 6: Playboy Great Gorge Resort and Country Club

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Ad Jerseum: So much Jersey advertising it’ll make you vomit!

new jersey,hugh hefner

This vintage ad for Playboy’s Great Gorge Resort and Country Club in McAfee, NJ 
appeared in the pages of Playboy Magazine in approximately 1976/1977
If you can read all that fine print, you might be struck odd by how frequently they egg you on to bring your kids with you on your getaway throughout this ad. C’mon, would you really want to bring your kids to the Playboy resort? Hey Hubby, you could kiss your sexy adult alone time goodbye when wifey decides to bring little Bobby and Suzy along for the trip. Talk about a buzzkill. Ahh, who cares, at least when the old ball and chain is asleep with the kids you could sneak down to the Bunny Hutch Disco! Now the party is ON! Bunnies, Beefeater, and Bush, that’s what the ’70s were all about.
Were people that hard up for good babysitters back then? Well, the Playboy Club had no problem finding babysitters, they even had their own fleet of them. I’ll tell you one thing, if I was a kid when this place was in operation I would have begged my parents to go there just to be in the same vicinity as the bunnies! In fact, I have reason to believe that the babysitters may have moonlighted as Bunnies! Shhh! Don’t tell anyone! Babysitter by day, Playboy Bunny by night! Quick, get me some financing for this production!
Even by today’s high standards of mega resorts, this place is still very impressive. Aside from all its other amenities, Great Gorge had the world’s largest whirlpool, a THREE LEVEL GAME ROOM, and The Red Rumbler Slide, whatever the hell that was it still sounds rad. Maybe the ill fated Xanadu in East Rutherford could take a cue from Great Gorge and it can become Playboy’s next monstrous indoor resort. Now I demand it. Look at how convincing this ad is, it’s 34 years old and it’s still enticing me to make reservations, I better hurry though because these prices are only effective until October 31st, 1977.
Recently I posted a fantastic postcard from Playboy’s Great Gorge Resort and Country Club: Great Gorge: Vagina Euphemism or Playboy’s Enchanting NJ Getaway?
www.SexyArmpit.com