sexyarmpit, Author at Sludge Central

Monique “The Original Gata” Dupree is April’s Garden State Playmate!

Posted on April 26, 2010 by sexyarmpit

April’s Garden State Playmate is Newark-born actress and model Monique “The Original Gata” Dupree. She’s starred in several films such as Lean On Me, Bachelor Party in the Bungalow Of The Damned, The Skeleton Key 2, and Step Up 3-D. It’s easy to relate to “The Original Gata,” because she loves her kids, horror movies, and even wrestling! For this month’s GSP, The Sexy Armpit presents a special interview with Monique Dupree!

ARMPIT: Hey Monique! You’re an actress, model, and even a singer. You have your hands in so many different projects and it all sounds impossible to keep track of. I forget when I have a freaking dentist appointment! Do you have someone that helps you out? How do you keep your shit together so well? Do you sleep?

MONIQUE: Sleep? What IS that, lol I have a very supportive family and without them, I wouldn’t be able to accomplish a quarter of what I do. Especially my oldest, Monet. That girl is my ROCK.

ARMPIT: So, after 8 children, not many moms are rocking a body like yours, how doooo you do it?

MONIQUE: It’s really hard to get back into shape after each baby. I drink lots of water, watch my diet a bit, and exercise. Sounds easy, but throw that in with everything else and it becomes a magic trick!

newark,actress,new jersey,monique dupree

ARMPIT: When you indulge, what is your favorite thing to eat or snack on?

MONIQUE: GODIVA and Starbucks OMG yes lawd!! lol that’s a dangerous combo right there.

ARMPIT: You had one of the best lines in Bachelor Party in the Bungalow Of The Damned: “So…where can we drop our pom poms?” You seem to have a knack for delivering tongue in cheek lines like that. Do you consider yourself a funny person? Sexy AND funny is a rare combo!

MONIQUE: Actually, I don’t, although I’ve always wanted to do comedy, which I’m finally getting into. I so admire those with uncanny comedic timing.

ARMPIT: I’m a big fan of The Replacements, what was it like appearing in that film?

MONIQUE: It was pretty fun. I’m not a big football fan, but after filming I surely felt like I was.

ARMPIT: You will appear in the upcoming Step Up 3-D. Will you be playing a dancer?

MONIQUE: Yup. I was a dancer in the film. Dancing is hard enough as it is, but having to dance over and over and over AND add dust and wind it was like jeesh!

ARMPIT: Do you ever get sick of having such large breasts? Do you feel like they just get in the way sometimes?

MONIQUE: YES! I’ve actually discussed having a reduction. I know some of my fans would be like WTF, but its really hard on my back. With each kid I have, it seems they grow bigger and bigger. It just doesn’t feel as good as it looks.

newark,new jersey,actress,monique dupree

ARMPIT: Since it’s widely known that you have no qualms about being naked, how do you feel about your kids seeing some of your more naughty film appearances? Are you the type of mom who filters what her kids see?

MONIQUE: I don’t filter my children as long as they have a basic understanding of things that they are watching first. If they see a film that has violence, they know it’s not real. They’ve been on set with me and understand that it’s not real. I speak to my children honestly and intelligently, instead of baby feeding them information so to speak. They understand alot more than we give them credit for.

ARMPIT: At the risk of actually sounding like a mature and credible interviewer, how has the Internet and social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter effected your career?

MONIQUE: The Internet hurts and helps at the same time for me. But if you use the networking sites properly, the good will far outweigh the bad.

ARMPIT: As the First African American “Tromette” is there a tidbit that ONLY you can reveal to us about the legendary Lloyd Kaufman?

MONIQUE: Yeah…Lloyd Kaufman is My FATHER! lol, I’m sorry, I just had to do it. No. What you see is what you get with Lloyd. He’s the great man that he appears to be, very knowledgeable and loves the independent arts.

ARMPIT: Did you decide to homeschool your kids because of your own experience in Newark schools growing up?

MONIQUE: Yes and No. I decided to homeschool my children because a few of them are considered to have learning disabilities and the schools’ answer to that was to put them in special education classes because the teachers were already overwhelmed with the student to teacher ratio in the first place. Then to have a child you have to constantly pay extra attention to? I took them out because as their parent, it’s my duty to make sure they get the best education possible by any means necessary. Even if it means killing myself to do it. By the way, teachers are unsung heroes. They have to put up with SO much for so little pay. I admire and respect them. So my decision was not based on the teachers performances. it was based on the way the system has things set up to run…it needs to change.

ARMPIT: On a scale of 1 being completely SUCKY and 10 being Bill and Ted EXCELLENT, where does Corey Booker rate as mayor of Newark?

MONIQUE: I’ll give Corey a 6

ARMPIT: Daamn! Besides you, what’s sexy about New Jersey?

MONIQUE: Lol…ummm Newark!

ARMPIT: Can you recommend some good spots to our readers that you frequent in New Jersey? Any local restaurants, shops, clubs etc?

MONIQUE: I’m a dark girl…I frequent QXT’s in Newark. And Queens Pizza!!!! yeah!! I freaking LOVE their food. That’s real pizza for ya!

armpit note: QXT’s is NJ’s alternative dance club on Mulberry Street in Newark and Queen’s Pizza is on Halsey Street in Newark.

ARMPIT: Cool. Who are some of your celebrity crushes?

MONIQUE: oooo, Well, I have a crush on Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie (ha, that’s funny) Prince, Jeff Hardy, Stephen Baldwin, Lucy Lui, Drew Barrymore and Hugh Jackman.

ARMPIT: You’re in luck Monique, I hear if you donate money to Stephen Baldwin he’s yours for life! Now let’s pretend that The Sopranos is still in production and you have a shot at a role in the series. Out of the following options, which role would you like the most and please give a short explanation of why:

a) A luscious exotic dancer at the Bada Bing club
b) Silvio is still in a coma and you’ll play his hot new nurse
c) Tony Soprano’s deaf masseuse. (a non-speaking role, but moans a lot when Tony has sex with her!)
d) A bisexual girl who Meadow finds herself attracted to

MONIQUE: D …I would so choose D!!! Explanation: have you SEEN MEADOW??? Nuff said

ARMPIT: Haha awesome! A BIG thank you to the lovely Monique Dupree!! Pay a visit to some of her websites:

http://www.moniquedupree.com/
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2374082/
www.twitter.com/originalgata
www.myspace.com/theoriginalgata
http://www.myspace.com/negrochilde
http://www.youtube.com/moniquedupree7

Happy 73rd Birthday to Jack Nicholson!

Posted on April 23, 2010 by sexyarmpit

batman,the joker,jack nicholson,neptune city,new jersey

Happy Birthday to one of the greatest actors of our time and Jersey boy Jack Nicholson! Nicholson grew up in Neptune City, New Jersey and attended Manasquan High School. Jack was voted class clown by the class of 1954 which seems even more comical when you think about how 35 years later he would become one of pop culture’s most famous clowns, The Clown Prince of Crime, THE JOKER! Sure Heath Ledger gave a one of a kind performance in The Dark Knight, but Jack revolutionized the role in 1989’s Batman. If you mix Jack’s performance in one of my favorite films of all time, The Shining, with his turn as The Joker, you will likely arrive at something very close to Heath Ledger’s approach to The Joker character. Thank you Jack for all the superb, over the top, and ridiculously entertaining performances throughout your career!

DC Comics Digital Subscriptions

Posted on April 21, 2010 by sexyarmpit

The Meadowlands Webcomic by Tadd Galusha

I can only imagine what the Disney/Marvel juggernaut will be unleashing on us within the next few years as their alliance grows stronger. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for my personal favorite, DC Comics. Why did it take blockbuster movies like The Dark Knight and Iron Man to make the two big comic book companies finally nut up and begin to truly exploit some of their other heroes? DC has a responsibility to it’s readers to provide them with the best adventures of our favorite characters in the various mediums available. The DCU animated movies are a step in the right direction, but first, innovation needs to be applied to the source material.

I was never a hardcore Green Lantern fan, but I can imagine how ridiculously pumped true GL fans will be in June of 2011 when the film hits theaters. Did it really take 23 years for a theatrical version of Watchmen to hit the silver screen? Shit, the rights to make a definitive Batman film were purchased from DC in 1979 and after enough scripts to fold up an entire origami model of Wayne Manor, the movie was finally produced and released 10 years later. Anticipation counts for something, but totally frustrating the shit out of your fans is a completely different story. I don’t mind waiting a couple of years for another Batman sequel, but if I have to wait 4 or 5 years I’ll be having flashbacks to the 8 year span of time that it took for WB and DC to grow enough cajones to release Batman Begins. They clearly wanted to be sure that the public had pretty much came to terms with 1997’s farce Batman and Robin. Finally, this brings me to my point, why the hell is DC Comics taking their sweet old time in rolling out a digital subscription plan?

Rather than living in the past and pandering to the old school of fans, DC desperately needs to commit itself to using the most cutting edge technology at all times. If there are so many readers out there who only want to buy print versions of their favorite comics, then why not produce both the hard copies as well as the digitally scanned issues? I’ve read some bullshit on the Internet that DC reps claim that they haven’t found the right method of presenting a comic book via the Internet. That’s funny considering you can find almost any popular comic available for download somewhere on the Internet. Collectors are nice enough to scan them in for archival purposes rather than alternatively finding an issue on eBay and paying a ridiculous $15 or $20 bucks for a comic with yellow pages.

Based in New Jersey, Galusha’s Zuda Webcomic “The Meadowlands” is awesome,

but still not exactly a digital subscription of my favorite DC comic books

What better way to reintroduce lesser known characters and bring superheroes to the forefront than by revolutionizing the way we read comics books? Making the comic book relevant again should be of paramount importance to the newfangled DC Entertainment. For the past few years, DC’s Zuda imprint has been their only foray into webcomics. The only problem with it is that the comics Zuda features are all original works, none of our favorite characters from say…Justice League or The Outsiders. It’s also a competition which provides independent artists and writers the opportunity to showcase their material. Think of it as the American Idol of DC Comics.

A true comic book fan merely wants an escape. They want to experience stories of their favorite heroes while being immersed in spectacular comic art. Personally, I could care less if I have the actual issue in my hand or not. It’s even better if I don’t because I have enough crap in my bedroom and I don’t need even more stacks of comics. My large screen computer monitor is a perfect way to enjoy a comic book, and it would sure make storing and organizing your collection a breeze. Many of us have learned to let go of albums, definitely shitcanned VHS and cassette tapes, and we’re even forgetting about CD’s, so why can’t we forego comic books? The best way of making a superhero eternal is to immortalize them on the Internet, or in a more modern fashion, make them available through an easy one click purchase on iTunes. As far as I’m concerned the fact that Marvel does offer digital subscriptions is a huge win for them. If DC Entertainment wants to compete on the same level as Disney/Marvel, they need to get in the game.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 48: Bon Jovi “They’re Back!”

Posted on April 21, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Vintage Bon Jovi “New Jersey” T-Shirt from 1988

wyco_vintage has this for sale on eBay

What a coincidence! This vintage Bon Jovi New Jersey T-shirt from 1988 is going for a whopping $150 bucks on eBay and an average ticket for Bon Jovi’s string of upcoming shows at the New Meadowlands Arena in May just so happens to be the same price! What a RIP! Of course, that’s not as bad as some of the other Jovi shirts I have seen on various sites which are going for upwards of $300 dollars! You are f-cking out of your mind if you pay that kind of money for a ratty, old t-shirt that’s more than 20 years old! I’d rather go experience an overpriced concert while simultaneously bypassing the $35 dollar beer/hot dog combo meal than buy a ridiculously priced, USED t-shirt.

On the front of this shirt the band continues the Italian “mobster” stereotype that’s associated with New Jersey. Although, the guy on this shirt looks a lot like Lips Manlis from Dick Tracy.

And what’s with the back of this shirt? Who the hell did Jovi think they were back then, DOKKEN? This “They’re Back!” business belongs on the back of an Alice Cooper or W.A.S.P t-shirt, NOT family friendly heartthrobs Bon Jovi! I’m getting scared just reading the back of this shirt, it’s scarier than David Bryan’s horrific hair.

Can MacGruber Save WWE Raw at The Meadowlands from SUCKING?

Posted on April 19, 2010 by sexyarmpit

The stars of the upcoming SNL movie, MacGruber, will be guest hosting WWE Monday Night Raw tonight on USA which emanates from The Izod Center in East Rutherford, NJ.

Scarlet Carson’s “Burn It All” Scorches – Review by Jay Amabile

Posted on April 15, 2010 by sexyarmpit

dirty Jersey,scarlet carson,rock,cd,review

Order Scarlet Carson’s “Burn It All” at this link for $10 bucks

Does rock music still exist? Aside from a few newer bands out there, rock music, albeit the good kind, seems to be nearly extinct. Truthfully, the suckyness of new rock music is one of the reasons why I stopped listening to radio almost 6 years ago. Think about how many rock stations folded or changed formats since that time. My main source for new music are blogs, iTunes, Pandora, MySpace, and any other bands space junk that’s floating around the Internet. What’s amazing is that even a routine task such as checking the Starland Ballroom’s concert schedule on their website lead me to discover a surprisingly awesome band, Scarlet Carson, who recently released their 2nd album Burn It All (available here). My curiosity was piqued, but I figured it was probably too good to be true. I gave the album a few in depth listens and in this review I’ll tell you whether Scarlet Carson is another flash in the pan or a force powerful enough to restore my faith in rock music.

While listening to Scarlet Carson’s fearless brand of rock and roll, I couldn’t believe these guys are from New Jersey. Labeling their type of sound as “Dirty Jersey Rock and Roll,” is brave since they are the first ones to step out of the shadow of “The Jersey Sound” i.e (Sinatra, Springsteen, The Rascals, The Jukes, Bon Jovi etc) and play what they want, not just what people think Jersey bands are supposed to sound like. Coming out of Jersey has only helped intensify their mighty ambitions. It’s not like they grew up around the corner from The Viper Room or The Whiskey, so lumping them into the same category as other rock bands is unfair. But, if you need some examples of what other bands Scarlet Carson might share the bill with at a rock festival, it would probably be Saliva, Papa Roach (who they are opening for at Starland on 4/18), and Pop Evil, They have already played at CrueFest, so one thing is for sure, they are in NO WAY Nickelbacky. Lead singer and lyricist Santino Campanelli has more in common with Californians such as M.Shadows of Avenged Sevenfold and Jacoby Shaddix of Papa Roach than he does with any famous singer to ever come out of Jersey.

Their second release, Burn it All, is a superior rock album. In the first track, Overture, a transistor radio has lost its signal, similar to my search for good rock music, but soon the faint sounds grow clearer. Intense driving guitar chords and primal drum beats establish the scene. Finally we’ve got ourselves some rock and I’m sure as hell ready for it. The adrenalized title track features a ballistic guitar solo that will literally melt your brain and make your eyes go crossed. The song rises to a huge climatic finale and trails off with a soft reprise of the songs guitar riff. It’s a cool little reinforcement trick because it got stuck in my head and I wanted to hear it again already. But, with my senses elevated I couldn’t wait to hear the rest of the album.

All of a sudden, a car engine ignites and screeches off as the headbanger “Gone Baby Gone” erupted from my speakers. It’s all about getting away from a chick who is total trouble. Like most of the tracks here, this modern rocker features another blazing guitar solo and sounds like it should be in the trailer for the next Fast and the Furious film. And, whether intentional or not, “Cherry’s On Top” has a riff that’s reminiscent of Aerosmith’s “Love in an Elevator.” The dilemma in this song is that there is some fine looking chick who is so super sexy. Hitting notes like crazy, frontman Santino wants to cover her “in whip cream cherry on top, I’m gonna lick it all off in all the right spots.” This track reflects the libidinous aspect of rock and is definitely not serious, depressing, or emo. Scarlet Carson shows that they are here to party and admire the finer things in life, like ’80s style red lipstick.

Up next is a resounding build up to what could be Scarlet Carson’s signature crowd interaction song. These guys aren’t only talking shit about “Sex Drugs and Rock N Roll,” they are living it. Their lyrics, liner notes, and full throttle commitment to making their rock star dreams a reality, shows there’s a genuine connection to many iconic bands who have lived this tawdry lifestyle before them. The difference? These guys are the first ones from Jersey to do it. Yeah sure we’ve had Bon Jovi and Trixter, but they were less concerned about the rock star lifestyle. Bon Jovi didn’t want to be associated with bands like GNR and Motley Crue because they feared that women and children wouldn’t come to their concerts. It was more socially acceptable to buy a Bon Jovi record or go to a Bon Jovi concert than it was Motley or even KISS. No matter what they tell you, parents feared bands like that because they heard news reports of sex, satanism, nudity, blood and all the other cool shit that is part of their aura. So I commend Scarlet Carson for being themselves from jump street. They better stay true to themselves though. I wouldn’t want to see them sell out and become Justin Bieber’s touring band or some crap like that. Even worse…don’t make a country album. Hey Scarlet – you’ve been warned!

Next, I used my keen deductive skills to determine that a drink pouring sound effect can mean only one thing: a drinking song, even more precisely “The Drinkin’ Song.” Following in the footsteps of distinguished predecessors such as KISS’ “Cold Gin,” AC/DC’s “Have a Drink on Me,” and Guns N Roses’ “Nightrain,””The Drinkin’ Song,” picks up where those anthems left off. Santino’s voice skyrockets into Myles Kennedy octaves here as he shouts, “Let’s get wasted tonight!”. It’s another standout track with layered vocals in the chorus, fist pumping “hey” chants, and a mesmerizing drum breakdown. Scarlet Carson is here to tell you that when you’re literally feeling like a gigantic heap of dung, a few drinks with your crew can help you “forget your worries, forget your problems…” I’m sure fans will be holding their drinks up during this one at the next concert – just don’t spill beer on me.

Whip out your iPhone, swipe your Zippo lighter app on, and bring down the pace a little bit “For Her Sake,” a surefire addition to Monster Ballads 2010. The low key mood doesn’t last that long because these guys aren’t done pummeling you. Get ready for the supercharged, punked out “P.L.A.D” (paid, laid, and die) that chronicles the nights when you wind up out drinking until 6am and waking up with random girls in random motels. Scarlet Carson’s lifestyle is fast paced, indulgent and in the moment, just like their tunes. Listen for the brass section in this track which proves to be a superb feature of its production.

Now we go from rock and roll revelry and drinking binges, into mind probing. What would a Scarlet Carson song sound like if they actually recorded a song inside their own heads? “My Own Head,” stands out from the rest because it’s methodical, reflective, and dark, but maintains harmonic accents. The remarkable production has helped create a very different mood in contrast to the rest of the album. I appreciate that they were brave enough to challenge themselves into creating a track with such a different vibe, and it worked. “My Own Head,” would make for an intriguing music video. If Tim Burton and Rivers Cuomo were hanging out tripping on acid and had a nightmare, this would be a perfect song to accompany it. Zach Braff will direct, I have it all planned out.

Growing up in Jersey, almost every kid dreams of living in California. The west coast seems so much more desirable and warm, and if the Beach Boys and David Lee Roth were telling us the truth, then the girls were wondrous. Don’t forget the ’80s hair band scene, replete with sexy strippers, liquor, and debauchery. What’s not to fantasize about? POOF! Back to reality and the mundane suburban rat race that defines many parts of the Garden State. It’s fitting that I listened to “West Coast Dreamer” when I was sitting in rush hour traffic on 287. This track provides a unique perspective that I haven’t heard thus far. It’s the story of a band from the east coast, dreaming of rock star status on the west coast. It’s almost as if Jersey is a c-ck blocker. It’s not easy trying to exist as a rock star or an aspiring rock star in NJ. For some reason, whether it’s an unwritten law of nature or whatever, NJ just stacks all the cards against you. Whereas you can head out to L.A and catch great rock bands almost every night of the week, all in a 2 mile vicinity. Come to Jersey and you’ll get a few good beer specials but you’ll be bombarded with tons of cover bands who perform rock versions of whatever songs are popular that weekend.

Just a warning, Scarlet Carson’s songs WILL make you instinctually play air guitar, headbang, and jump around like a madman. It might be a good idea not to listen in a place where you might look like a complete idiot. In the midst of your rock-out session, you might be wondering where Scarlet Carson’s monstrous sound comes from? The band is comprised of Santino’s clean scream, Stone’s slash-like guitar solos, Tommy Licore’s surging riffs on rhythm guitar, Mike O Mayhem’s crushing bass work, and Raab who pulverizes the drums.

Above all, the best attribute of Scarlet Carson’s “Burn It All” is its honesty. Santino writes his lyrics about being a loner focused on the bands dreams, and doing some hardcore partying in the meantime. They aren’t creating songs to market to the NFL or MLB like Bon Jovi, and they’re not formulating the next big wedding song, even though it sure would mean more cash, they are simply doing what they want to do. One of the reasons why rock music has been on the road to extinction is because bands don’t have the balls to highjack the reigns of rock. Scarlet Carson does, and they do it in style as they prove on “Burn It All.” In the immortal words of The Marvelous 3, Scarlet Carson has indeed “…brought back the rock.” www.scarletcarson.com

Upcoming shows

4/17/10 at the Stone Pony for The Break Contest
4/18/10 w/Papa Roach at The Starland Ballroom

4/23/10 at The Wonder Bar in Asbury Park
4/27/10 w/Saliva at The Highline Ballroom in NYC

Ad Jerseum 6: Playboy Great Gorge Resort and Country Club

Posted on April 15, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Ad Jerseum: So much Jersey advertising it’ll make you vomit!

This vintage ad for Playboy’s Great Gorge Resort and Country Club in McAfee, NJ

appeared in the pages of Playboy Magazine in approximately 1976/1977

If you can read all that fine print, you might be struck odd by how frequently they egg you on to bring your kids with you on your getaway throughout this ad. C’mon, would you really want to bring your kids to the Playboy resort? Hey Hubby, you could kiss your sexy adult alone time goodbye when wifey decides to bring little Bobby and Suzy along for the trip. Talk about a buzzkill. Ahh, who cares, at least when the old ball and chain is asleep with the kids you could sneak down to the Bunny Hutch Disco! Now the party is ON! Bunnies, Beefeater, and Bush, that’s what the ’70s were all about.

Were people that hard up for good babysitters back then? Well, the Playboy Club had no problem finding babysitters, they even had their own fleet of them. I’ll tell you one thing, if I was a kid when this place was in operation I would have begged my parents to go there just to be in the same vicinity as the bunnies! In fact, I have reason to believe that the babysitters may have moonlighted as Bunnies! Shhh! Don’t tell anyone! Babysitter by day, Playboy Bunny by night! Quick, get me some financing for this production!

Even by today’s high standards of mega resorts, this place is still very impressive. Aside from all its other amenities, Great Gorge had the world’s largest whirlpool, a THREE LEVEL GAME ROOM, and The Red Rumbler Slide, whatever the hell that was it still sounds rad. Maybe the ill fated Xanadu in East Rutherford could take a cue from Great Gorge and it can become Playboy’s next monstrous indoor resort. Now I demand it. Look at how convincing this ad is, it’s 34 years old and it’s still enticing me to make reservations, I better hurry though because these prices are only effective until October 31st, 1977.

Recently I posted a fantastic postcard from Playboy’s Great Gorge Resort and Country Club: Great Gorge: Vagina Euphemism or Playboy’s Enchanting NJ Getaway?

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 47: Hard Rock Cafe Atlantic City

Posted on April 14, 2010 by sexyarmpit

Art from a Hard Rock Cafe Atlantic City T-Shirt

The nation’s second most popular gambling city has a plan to eliminate their competition. Surrounding areas such as Pennsylvania, Connecticut, and New York have attempted to give Atlantic City a run for its money. But just like Dr. Janosz Poha said about the impervious Vigo the Carpathian, these other second rate gambling establishments “are like the buzzing of flies to him.” Taking its cue from swank hotels like The Borgata, The Hard Rock plans to create one hell of an upscale experience to sucker people back to the city that Monopoly took its street names from. The $300 million dollar project will include a boutique hotel and casino similar to their Las Vegas location. Translation: another reason for your girlfriend to try and entice you to hop on the GSP to voluntarily insert wads of hard earned cash into those noisy mind control machines. Until their new complex is built, you can head over to the existing Hard Rock Cafe in Atlantic City which is located at The Trump Taj Mahal and features a Gibson guitar shaped bar. If you’ve never been there, grab some lunch before a concert. The Hickory Smoked Pulled Pork Sandwich is recommended.

Today’s tee beats the hell out of the typical Hard Rock Cafe logo tees that you see everywhere. This shirt is colorful, elaborate, and captures both the gambling aspect of A.C as well as the skyline and elements of the shore where the restaurant is located. Ebay seller benk_store has this shirt up for sale.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.38: Baby It’s You

Posted on April 11, 2010 by sexyarmpit

I had not heard of Baby It’s You until a couple of years ago when I discovered that it was based in Trenton, NJ so I wanted to check it out. Recently, I rented it from Netflix and even though there’s been many occasions where The Sexy Armpit has been known to save a film merely based on its ties to New Jersey, as you will read in this review, even with the added feature of seeing Rosanna Arquette’s boobs for the bazillionth time, Baby It’s You is better left undiscovered.

Baby It’s You, is based on a story by Trenton-born Amy Robinson, and begins in 1966, and progresses into the early ’70s. The soundtrack is classic, but even it can’t incite the plot, if you want to call it that, to miraculously become interesting. Considering the film was made in 1983 and is set in 1966, when I heard the first Springsteen track play it was obvious the filmmakers were taking some creative license. Featuring some of Springsteen’s best songs worked well within the film and it kept with the Jersey theme, but it wasn’t enough to rescue the dismal film out of the depths of the Delaware River.

The flaw of the film is that the two main characters are unlikeable. Our main character, Jill, played by Rosanna Arquette, gets courted by a more suave version of a greaser who calls himself Sheik. Sheik (Vincent Spano) dresses to the nines to make up for the fact that he’s pretty much a loser and has daddy issues. For some outrageous reason, he thinks that he’s going to be a singer someday and make something of himself. Shiek’s mom is very sweet and encouraging while his father is tough on him. I didn’t feel bad for Sheik’s home life at all, nor did I have any sympathy for Jill’s situation. Jill seemed to have a perfect situation, she was an above average student who lived with 2 caring parents in a nice house. She aspired to be an actress and she succeeded in high school and college, but not without Sheik proving to be a distraction in her pursuit.

Get this, Sheik’s aspirations were not to be an actor like Jill, but to be a singer like Frank Sinatra. Now, if he could only actually SING then he’d be headed in the right direction! This guy looked like he would be a crooning version of Tony Manero. His dream is to do a night club show where he lip syncs to songs from Sinatra, Dean Martin, Paul Anka, and others. What kind of a lousy dream is it to lipsync to songs played from a stereo at a night club half filled with old drunk people? The dude winds up working at a club in Florida lip syncing along with songs, not even doing Karaoke. Karaoke singers seem like Pavarotti compared to this guy. If you’re halfway decent at the video game Rock Band then you already have more talent than Sheik! With all his expensive suits helping to play up his image, Sheik was clearly trying to find an identity. Sheik was overcompensating for the fact that he didn’t really have any talent, but knew that he wanted to be a famous singer. It was hard to relate to this character, since it’s easy to realize when you just aren’t cut out for something.

His advances toward Jill were just plain creepy. They didn’t even know each other and he just plopped himself down at her lunch table one day, came on strong, and then wondered why she wasn’t receptive to him. Eventually, Jill falls for this metrosexual bad boy. She agrees to let him take her out. Sheik brings her to a dive bar and ignores her to hang with his friends at a completely different table for the entire night. What a douche! Oh yeah, was there a time when you were allowed to drive on the boardwalk? Or was this another way for him to demonstrate what a badass he is? Shiek was basically the film’s answer to late ’60s guido. Maybe guidos have a license to drive on the boardwalk?

“The way I figure it, there’s only 3 people in the world that matter.

Jesus Christ, Frank Sinatra, and Me.”

– Albert “Sheik” Capadilupo (It’s must be the late ’60s version of GTL)

Sheik had a bad temper. Spano played him like a completely unhinged slimeball, especially when Sheik informs Jill that he got kicked off the basketball team. She tries to get away from him and tells him to leave her alone “Whattya think you’re too f-cking good for me?” he says before launching her school books down the hallway. He throws a fit and hits the locker like an immature little bitch. What’s with this guy? Was this how Jersey Shore would have been in 1966? In a later scene, while looking for Jill, he trashed her dorm room before she returned. After she walks in to see him, Arquette barely shows any feeling of shock that he has just completely trashed her place. “…my stuff” she says in a docile tone. Yeah. That’s what I’d say if I came home to find that my shit was thrown around the room and the place had been totally ransacked. “…my stuff.”

As you can see, Jill is just plain stupid. Sheik and his pal actually wind up kidnapping Jill and her friend. He grabs them, tosses them in the car, puts a gun to them, and speeds away. Maybe I wasn’t interpreting this scene and the ones that followed correctly, but it seemed like a truly dumbass move for Jill to forgive him after what he did. If I put myself into Jill’s character, I just can’t relate to her, but you can bet your ass that I would NOT continue dating someone who kidnapped me at gunpoint. Crazy bitch! Is this entire movie just about Jill’s infatuation with “the wrong guy?” How pathetic. At one point, Sheik even bangs one of her best friends!

The theme of the film seems to be “I’ll love you no matter how fucked in the head you are.” With all the emotions that were desperately pleading to be relayed to the viewers, they never come across. It’s a shame because the movie intends to mirror the frustration, confusion, and chaos that makes up a teenagers transition into adulthood. It’s a downer and it fails to convey these feelings because of our lack of sympahty for the two main characters. Their lives aren’t that bad, in fact, they are pretty damn good. After watching the film, the characters seemed like 2 spoiled brats who are bored with their suburban upbringing. They are basically normal teens who are going through the same crap that everyone else goes through. Baby It’s You isn’t sure what it wants to be, but what it does agree on being is a f-cked up love story with some damn good shots of Asbury Park.

Jersey Shore Bobbleheads

Posted on April 7, 2010 by sexyarmpit

MTV’s Jersey Shore Bobbleheads available at Entertainment Earth

You’ve officially made it when there’s bobbleheads being made of you. Pictured above are renderings of what the upcoming MTV’s Jersey Shore Bobbleheads will look like, and they don’t look bad, except for The Situation. I don’t think it will matter to him that his face looks a bit odd because he’s still showing off his trademark abs. I imagine that the only people who will buy The Situation’s bobblehead are his young female fans. Come to think of it, I don’t know anyone who owns or buys bobbleheads, so I’m under the impression that Bobbleheads are exclusively sold to Bobblehead collectors. More importantly, who the hell wants to watch Snooki’s head bobble around? Couldn’t they have made her a “booblehead” instead? Bouncing boobs are always a source of endless enjoyment, and it’s a surefire way to make Snooki’s bobblehead a hit unless they design her head to jerk back and forth like she’s getting punched in the mouth.

Author: sexyarmpit