Sludge Central

Birthday Cakes and Batman

Posted on July 7, 2008 by sexyarmpit

Birthday cakes have always been a bit of a sore subject for me. Every year since I could remember I wanted Cookie Puss for my birthday. It took about 8 years or so but I finally got him and he was the most enjoyable puss I ever had. For some reason, I never got big birthday shindigs or elaborate specialty birthday cakes. I guess it wasn’t in the cards for me. Dionne Warwick told me that when I called her up as a kid. She said almost exactly that: “Jay you’ll never have a great big party or a personalized character cake for your birthday.” I used to ask my mother why I didn’t (“How come ma?”) and it seemed there was no reason. “How come ma?”

Birthdays, especially in March, (like mine) seem to just creep up on people and then disappear like they never happened. In like a lion, out like a lamb as they say. Even though that doesn’t really pertain to this scenario, it sounded good. So I never really had a kickass cake until cookie Puss and that only happened once. About a year later my mother pulled a few slick moves and got Batman put on my cake. My father and I have birthdays that fall within 2 days of each other so both of our names were on the cake. I didn’t mind that at all since I was reasonable. I’ll share the sugary icing of a spotlight with my dad as long as Bats is on my cake. That definitely surprised me because it showed that someone was finally listening! A small part of me really wanted some little Batman and Robin figurines running on the icing backdrop of Gotham City, bat-signal and all, but I would take what I could get at that point! More than 10 years later, my girlfriend at the time created an amazing Batman cake for my 20th birthday. Cutting it up and eating it was the hardest part. Who would want to cut up Batman? Besides, The Joker!

I think birthdays in general should be fun and different than any other day. If your own birthday isn’t somewhat different from the norm that would suck. I’m not the type to ask for people to make a fuss over me but it’s sure nice when they do it on their own! I know if I was a kid right now, I’d be begging to have Batman parties, Pirates of the Caribbean parties, Hulk parties etc. When I was a kid I had everything from Super Friends plates (pictured) to WWF napkins but ne’er a Hulkster cake.
I think Birthday cakes should be personalized, although I understand the painstaking work that goes into them. A couple of years ago I took a crack at it and made my girl a Marvin the Martian birthday cake. For a guy who’s the opposite of Julia Childs I think I did a pretty damn good job. For a look at another cool cake related post check out Geektarded who has a really cool look at a MOTU birthday he had when he was a kid. How many bat-cakes have you guys had? Did you have any other cool cakes we should know about?

Batman Pez Dispensers

Posted on July 6, 2008 by sexyarmpit

Everyone I know seems to be candy crazy. I was never obsessed with sweets and I rarely go on sugar frenzies. Although I must say I do enjoy Reese’s cups, Snickers, 3 Musketeers, and peppermint patties every now and then. I definitely opt for a chocolate bar over a sugary candy like sweet tarts or airheads. I also have a disdain for anything too chewy or with a “gummy” prefix although the gummy raspberries and blackberries with the crunchies on the outside are highly enjoyable.

Throughout my life, Pez weren’t the most accessible candy out there. I couldn’t go to the nearest convenience store and pick up Pez. In my area of N.J they were readily available at toy stores and rarely anywhere else unless it was a holiday. Christmas and Valentine’s day brings Pez out to many stores in full force.

Pez were always a candy that I discovered every few months as a kid. I remember that I would keep my pez dispensers in a mini drawer in my closet. Whenever I broke out all my toys I’d open up my mini drawer and get my Pez paraphenalia ready to rock. In there I had stockpiled unwrapped pez candy that were waiting to be loaded into one of my many dispensers.

You can imagine how odd Pez tasted after a year or two even if they were still wrapped in their original package. I don’t think I realized that they probably went bad after a while. Regardless, I’d load the Pez candy into the Hulk head or the Snoopy head and then start popping them into my mouth like mad. I then realized how stale they were. They were fairly hard, I’m lying…they were break your teeth hard. They were also a bit hollow for some reason. But they still tasted like classic Pez pellets and aside from their stale state, they still had their unmistakable classic Pez flavor. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the actual candy but I still have many of my original dispensers.

Here are the Batman dispensers I’ve gathered throughout the years. They go in order of when I got them. The oldest on the left I got when I was about 8 years old! You can see the changes to the mold and the color modifications. The blue color changes slightly from the 1st dispenser to the 2nd and it’s not just old age, they actually have slightly different blue tones. The first one is probably my favorite because it’s classic but if the last two were combined! Holy Nightmare! The last one’s head sculpt is reminiscent of the comic book Batman. Switching the last dispenser’s navy blue for black would make one heck of a perfect Bat-Pez dispenser!

**After scanning Bat-Blog, I noticed there’s a new set of Batman Pez dispensers that have been released that include Joker, Riddler, Two-Face, and a Batman with a gray body and the same head as the last dispenser pictured here. These are such nice sculpts and are a Bat-fans wet dream!

Batman Fruit Snacks and Fruit Roll-Ups

Posted on July 5, 2008 by sexyarmpit

The good ol’ Dark Knight must be tight on cash lately because it seems as if he sold his soul to Betty Crocker. Not only has there recently been Batman fruit snacks but now there are Batman The Dark Knight Fruit Roll-ups on the grocery store shelves. Something about fruit roll ups changed throughout the years. It’s like the Jello-O pudding pops conspiracy where the pops that are available now taste almost exactly the same as the old ones except for a minor detail that I can’t pinpoint. When I was a kid fruit roll-ups seemed like they had more of a real fruit consistency and they were less plasticy and chewy than they are now. It’s like eating a slab of strawberry flavored vinyl. On the fruit roll ups themselves are faces of all the characters from the new Dark Knight movie. The pictures that are stamped on really suck. It’s not as easy as it would seem to figure out what the hell you’re looking at. It’s almost like looking at one of those Rorschach tests. (an ink blot…remember that in Batman Forever?!) The roll-ups come in strawberry and berry cool, both tasted sickeningly sweet to me.

As for the fruit snacks, personally I think you can never go wrong with fruit snacks even though I have my reservations about them also. Out of the fruit snacks and fruit roll-ups, the fruit snacks are the clear winner because of they taste better than the roll up and they are more fun to eat.

Batman Button Collection

Posted on July 4, 2008 by sexyarmpit

In New Jersey one of the prerequisites to living here is at one time growing up you owned a jean jacket with the sleeves cut off that was scattered with buttons of your favorite band, maybe we’ll even thrown a full patch on the back of let’s say Guns N Roses or Twisted Sister. (Is that a twisted sister pin on your uniform?!?!) I stress owned because let’s face it, something in the back of your head told you it was a bad idea to wear it. Even when those things were cool there was always a small group of people who though you were a total asshole, and they were probably right if I was going to let myself get caught wearing that shit. So in actuality, I’m merely dancing around the subject of outright telling you that I may possibly have been a person who may have owned one at one time or another but it’s not definite and I can’t confirm or deny it so don’t ask me to try and differentiate from which one is the truth and which one was fiction because you know what? at this point I don’t even remember what the fuck we were talking about.

Wow…did I just really totally spaz out like that? You know that happens every damn time I dig in my closet and put that old sleeveless jean jacket on for old time sake. Or could’ve been that I was rokken Dokken so loud that I became momentarily completely inept at deciphering what you were saying so I started making up my own questions in my head that I started replying to out loud. To get back to what I was saying..I don’t only have buttons of my favorite bands…I have ones of Batman, Tony Hawk, Vision Street Wear, and a Motley Crue patch on the back.

“What what’s that?… You like the Batman button on my jacket?… Hey right on, radical bro!”

***I’m sure this button collection pales in comparison to other people’s. I just figured what other purpose is there for these buttons other than hording them in mass quantities or pinning them to your ’80s sleeveless jean jacket that you still put on occasionally fire up the memories?

Batman Playing Cards

Posted on July 3, 2008 by sexyarmpit

In my Christmas stocking for a few years I found sets of Batman playing cards. I used to think that since I wasn’t a big card player except for my big win in the “Go Fish Tournament of Champions” in ’86 that these cards were pretty useless to me. Considering almost every other thing in my room is Batman related these playing cards probably felt terribly neglected. You would think because these were such badass card sets that It would’ve made me want to play more cards, right? Well, that wasn’t the case. Recently I came to terms with these cards and realized that they are merely an addition to my Batman collection. If I were to play cards, let’s say, on my converting gaming bar that I never use, I highly doubt I’d whip these babies out for everyone to get their slimy hands on. Yeah right! Don’t underestimate my analness! I’m much more paranoid about my collectibles than that. Of course I have a regular set to play with that are NOT Batman, so relax!

For some reason it seems that every set of Batman playing cards was top quality. The cards were glossy and weren’t thin and flimsy like alot of card sets. The Animated Series set was by far the best because all of the cards featured almost the entire cast of characters in the show. The more recent “The Batman” card set runs a close second since every card has artwork from the show, but not enough of Batman’s rogue’s gallery! The Batman Returns set only featured photos on the face cards so that was a bummer. The Joker card in the Batman Returns set wasn’t even Joker since he wasn’t in the movie, so they slapped one of the skeletal members of the Red Circus Gang on the front of it. I don’t own the card sets for the other films but judging by these cards, I’m sure they were well done also. My dream playing card set would include Ace the Bat Hound on the ACE card, Matches Malone on the JACK card, King Tut on the KING card, and Marcia Queen of Diamonds on the Queen card. Who would you pick to be featured on your set?

Batman on Blu-Ray Giveaway!!!

Posted on July 2, 2008 by sexyarmpit

To celebrate the kickoff The Sexy Armpit’s DARK KNIGHT COUNTDOWN Fox Home Video has been gracious enough to supply us with a Blu-Ray disc of the original Batman The Movie (1966) Special Edition starring Adam West and Burt Ward to give away to a lucky reader. Batman was released today on Blu-Ray so THANKS Fox Home Video!

HOW TO WIN THE BATMAN BLU-RAY DISC: E-Mail sexyarmpit@comcast.net subject line: BATMAN. Just for fun, try to answer one of the 2 following questions: What was Catwoman’s Moscow Bugle Alias OR answer Riddler’s riddle What’s Yellow and Writes? One winner will be picked randomly and the deadline is 7/20.

I’ve always been obsessed with the ’60s Batman TV series. It’s so bad that I can tell you the episode name, what season it was in, who played each villain, etc. So basically it’s going to be difficult for me to give away the new Blu-Ray transfer and not try to hold onto it for dear life.

As any legit Bat-fan knows, the ’60s live action TV series brought us some cool bat crap but my favorite of all time comes from this film: SHARK REPELLENT BAT-SPRAY! When I was a kid my friend Frank and I made all kinds of accessories for our toy utility belts but the one thing that he never had that I DID was a mini can of Shark Repellent Bat Spray that my dad made for me. Alot of you remember the times that your dad taught you how to spiral a football, throw a slider, or change the oil in your first car. Well, I remember my dad fashioning me a kick-ass aerosol can that would repel sharks in case one decided to “pull my leg.”

In the film you’ll see all the classic villains masterfully portrayed as well as the entire cast of Batman regulars. There’s so many extras on this disc they couldn’t even fit on Commodore Schmidlapp’s yacht!

Features include: Commentary by Adam West and Burt Ward, Isolated musical Score in DTS, several featurettes including: Batman: A Dynamic Legacy, Caped Crusaders: A Heroes Tribute, Gotham’s City’s Most Wanted, The Batmobile Revealed, Batman on Location, original trailers, still galleries, trivia, and lots more! Take a look at one of the featurettes from the new Batman Blu-Ray disc:

Barbie: This is Why She’s Hot!

Posted on July 1, 2008 by sexyarmpit

Skipper was the younger, more experimental sister of Barbie. She was certainly trendy but not as mature as Barbie was in terms of her chest region. Skipper was just discovering the world right along with me. Her and I had alot of chemistry. We both loved the beach and doing other cool stuff like well…going to the beach. You see, when I was 4 years old, it was much more appealing to be involved with an energetic, fresh faced, blue-eyed blonde with spunk than a twenty-something skank who’s been around the block more times than an ice cream truck. She was right up my alley because she was young, petite, and had blonde hair. She was everything I looked for in a girl. Skipper’s appearance changed numerous times throughout the years but the cute, blonde skipper is the one I remember.

Skipper seemed filled with a lust for life that Barbie seemed to have lost. The thought of Skipper being closer to me in age really grabbed me. I felt like I had more of a chance with her. Barbie was off in her Dream House with Ken biting her pillow while the vulnerable, impressionable, and parentless Skipper didn’t have much to do. I felt like even though I was younger than her I could sort of rescue her from her older sisters neglect and out of control cocaine habit. Remember, it was the ‘80s.

She wasn’t a promiscuous teenager either. She liked the chase. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be with her. When Barbie was babysitting Skipper, I would come and hang out with both of the hotties. And naturally, my chances were a lot better with Skipper, although if Ken was at work who knew what types of debauchery could take place in the DREAM HOUSE! OK so, nothing really badass happened like that but I did get to “explore” quite a bit.

I remember being very distressed over the fact that Skipper shared the same name as a character on Gilligan’s Island, a show I watched relentlessly as a kid. Lets face it, Skipper wasn’t really nautical in any way but who said Barbie dolls made any sense? I can’t provide a good reason as to why Skipper had numerous other ludicrous nicknames. Let’s take a look at some: Hot Stuff Skipper, Horse Loving Skipper, (that‘s just wrong, why didn‘t they just name her Bestiality Skipper?) Super Teen Skipper, (what a coincidence, something just popped up on my computer screen that said Super Teen Stripper) And finally, talk about overlap, there was Sun Lovin’ Malibu Skipper and Sunsational Malibu Skipper!

While I was very young I was attracted to Skipper but as I started to get a little older I began to appreciate the finer things in life. As a few years past, Jem and the Holograms opened new doors for me. What could I say, I liked the rock chicks with big hair. Not only in cartoons but in real life I was digging rocker chicks also. From Lita Ford to Vixen they had the spotlight when I was a kid.

So, my taste in women matured when Barbie suddenly decided she wanted to be a rock star. It was 1985 and Barbie wouldn’t let Jem and the Holograms steal her thunder: “No way bitch I’ve been around for 25 years and I could rock out too.” Hence Barbie and the Rockers were born. What 7 year old boy wasn’t at least a little turned on by Barbie and Rockers? Okay probably NONE of you. But they did have their own stage and instruments!
Chicks with multicolored hair have always been a huge turn on for me. Chances are, if you have any type of neon color running through your hair I’ll think it’s cool. I’m easily sold. Perhaps this was a residual effect from the Jem period of my youth?

This article doesn’t mean I have some kind of weird doll fetish but DAMN people have fetishes for everything nowadays. There’s porn of cartoon characters which baffles me. How anyone can get off to that is beyond me. I seriously wouldn’t doubt there’s a niche for doll erotica. This article is merely about the shock that came over me when I realized, “Holy Shit, Barbie is f’n HOT!” Old school Barbie dolls were pretty generic looking dolls. They’ve gotten more glamorous and detailed over the years but they haven’t been closer to resembling an ACTUAL HOT CHICK than they do NOW! And Supergirl? Fughetabout it! Cosplay Barbies? Wowee. Who doesn’t love a girl dressed as Supergirl, Batgirl, or Wonder Woman? All of us geeky superhero obsessed dudes would take that any day. Ahem..If she wasn’t made of plastic that is.

What do you say after taking a look at some of these hot Barbie bitches? Keep in mind, I’ve taken these photos for research purposes only. Let’s be honest, what kind of creep stands around Toys ‘R Us and takes pictures of Barbie dolls with his phone? THIS CREEP! The following question is for guys, bisexual girls, and lesbians: Tell me if these dolls were real people you wouldn’t want to f–k them?

Seduced by Barbie

Posted on June 30, 2008 by sexyarmpit

Throughout my life there’s been many reasons why people have questioned my sexuality. Perhaps it was my pink bandanna phase. I swore that it was inspired by Jesse “the Body” Ventura but no one ever believed me. “Yeah right Jay, sure…Jesse the Body…that‘s it!” Even during backyard wrestling matches I’d come out dressed up like the androgynous Goldust, face paint and all freaking everyone out. My lifelong obsessions with Madonna and Prince didn’t help the cause either. Hell, I’ve even been on the receiving end of a massage and a pedicure! Go ahead, call me metro sexual. Luckily though, in my defense, there’s never been any concrete evidence against me on the subject of questioning my sexuality. Until now that is…

You see, as a child growing up with an older sister it was extremely difficult to get her to do “boy things” with me. Somehow when my sister finally caved in on those random occasions, I found myself unfulfilled when she would play as the Princess Leia action figure. Of course if it was He-Man time, she would be Teela. She wasn’t the worst action figure player but she wasn’t quite in tune with the “scene” if you catch my drift. She didn’t know Eternia from Ecuador. Ram Man could’ve been a mythological creature who was half ram and half man for all she knew. But alas she gave it her best effort. My sister’s finest skills weren’t in the creating of an original storyline to have the action figures take part in but they were in merely setting up the figures as if they were going to be in some sort of photo shoot. She would say things like “Let’s put all the good guys over here and the bad guys over here.” She was very organizational with these plastic heroes of mine. I guess I didn’t mind either because at least she was paying attention to me. There’d be times when she actually would play with her Barbie dolls and do their hair and make sure they all had the right outfits on and then set them up against the wall to show them off. To my sister it seemed like the details were more important than what adventures her dolls would be partaking in.

When my sister was in her Barbie doll playing mood, she’d be on one side of the room while I’d be on the other with my action figures. At first I detested these Barbies but then after I watched her through the open mouth of castle gray skull I realized she was having a fabulous time. (There’s another strike against me, I just used the word FABULOUS!) It wasn’t that my figures and playsets weren’t fulfilling me it was just that she seemed like she was accomplishing something with her Barbie Dolls while I sat with a bunch of hunks of plastic and Moss Man. There was a lot more pressure on me to create my own little stories to act out with the Universe of He-Man, GI Joe, WWF, etc. She could sit there and throw Skipper on a horse and have a super good time while Barbie and Ken made out on a park bench. It was that easy. Dammit, you could have anything happen in the ginormous Barbie Dream house she had. Fuck, it was called a DREAM HOUSE! Anything could happen in it! My sister even had the Barbie yacht that floated around in the pool! Talk about a cool invention! She had the Barbie corvette and everything you could possibly think of. This was the early ‘80s when Barbie was expanding her hobbies and accessories beyond your wildest dreams. Barbie’s family and group of friends suddenly grew extensively as if she just found out that she had another entire family in a parallel universe.

With her Barbie collection there was so much to be enticed by. Meanwhile I had already planned Skeletor to invade Grayskull and rule Eternia about a bazillion times. Buzz Off was getting a little boring and Duke, Shipwreck, and Zartan were already fed up with my unoriginal plots that I’d been casting them in. Let’s just say one day we all had a little falling out and I defected to the OTHER side of the room…my SISTERS side of the room.

If you’ve ever seen the episode of That ‘70s show where Kelso lets Jackie do his hair and makeup and then puts him in a dress, that’s the way I felt that day but I had fun. This move was voluntary and purely for investigative purposes. Naturally as a young healthy boy I would never think of playing with Barbie dolls, unless Cobra was plotting a terrorist attack on Barbie’s Dream house. Nah, I didn’t have anything elaborate like that planned but it just looked like fun. After my sister showed me how to primp these bitches then I set off hot-rodding in her corvette and chillin’ out in the DREAM HOUSE. It was that day that I fell in love with a hot little piece of plastic and her name was Skipper.

To be continued…

A Memoir by The Green Hornet

Posted on June 18, 2008 by sexyarmpit

To whom it may concern:

I never asked for much. I never wanted to be number one, I never asked them for anything. I didn’t have any “wonderful toys”, or crazy bionic-geo-thermal-night-gear-infrared suits. It was a hat and an overcoat, and I even got a little mask to cover part of my face. I got a neat car, no, not the Hornet-mobile, the Black Beauty. Yes, the name sounds like a horse, and it’s considered a “clunker” by today’s standards. It didn’t even talk, or cocoon itself.

Sure my sidekick Kato just happened to be Asian. I have nothing against Asians, but just because of his nationality he thought he was some martial arts “expert”. He was always trying to show off, making me look like a total incompetent tool. You might know Kato from “The Kato Show” oh no, wait…that’s what my show “The Green Hornet” was called in Hong Kong. Villains? Rogues Gallery? No such thing. It was about as exciting as a bank tellers banquet. No one with face paint, split personalities, serum injecting psychos, and especially no crazy reptiles. No, there was no Hornet-signal to light up the night sky, but I owned a newspaper, The Daily Sentinel. Excitement personified.

My great grand uncle was the Lone Ranger. Do you know how hard it was living in his shadow? The man carried silver bullets! He was a legend and they made him hang out with an angry Native American. Wow, aren’t we a stereotypical bunch! Tonto must’ve been some prick though, always poking fun at L.R calling him “Kimosabe”. I’da belted him one. That wasn’t too long before Wayne Enterprises bought the Daily Sentinel and re-named it the Gotham Globe. Publishers revolted: “Britt Reid’s not cool enough to own a newspaper.” (direct quote)

Apparently I wasn’t cool enough for DC comics, who wouldn’t even touch me with one of Penguin’s umbrellas. Marvel said let’s tell Stan about him and see what he could do with him. The next month SPIDER MAN debuted in the comics, that’s how effed up Stan is. I finally signed with now-defunct NOW comics, the publishers of the ever popular Ralph Snart, Married with Children, and Robocop titles. (among other quality books)

What about show biz? Hollywood you ask? Well, when my glory days of radio were over, my TV show wasn’t fun and exciting enough so they teamed us up with Batman and Robin. Those caped clowns were gayer-than-gay in their leotards. I was so much more of a bad-ass. You’ll notice in that episode I was such a hardcore outcast compared to the others. I got no respect. They were in talks to make a movie starring GREG KINNEAR playing myself, but it never got off the ground. Not enough “Flash and Balls” they said. I said, Eff ’em. I don’t need them. But the franchise and merchandising rights alone would’ve made me rich beyond my wildest dreams.

God knows I haven’t been in a film since they re-created a scene from the TV show for “Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story”. As of now the Green Hornet film is in limbo and the licenses and options belong to Miramax. Last I heard Seth Rogen was writing a script about me. I’ll remember him in my will since by the time he finishes the damn thing I’ll be dead. Chances are if Seth Rogen writes the script, the movie will be about how some old time pothead radio announcer, who couldn’t pronounce his “R” sound, began calling me Bwitt Weed instead of Britt Reid. One of my tag lines that shows up in the teaser trailer will probably be “They don’t call me the GREEN Hornet for nothing” as I exhale a cloud of green smoke which also doubles as a sleeping gas that I use to fight criminals. Maybe I should just write the damn thing? (sswswswswsw whispers…..WAIT WHAT? They want Seth Rogen to play ME?”) What a joke. Why don’t they just kill me on the spot and cast Jonah Hill? Whatever, f-ck it. They won’t listen to any of MY thoughts on who should play me! After all…who knows me better than me??? TED “JEFFERSON” MCGINLEY BITCHES! If we’re going to make this funny then we may as well go for the gold here.

Oh and for those who’ve been pretending to care about what I’ve been doing lately then here it goes: For the last six months I’ve been living with Big Aunt Bertha. The sad part is she’s not even my aunt. I’m not even related to her. She’s a prostitute. I couldn’t pay her, so she’s forced me to stay here with her. She’s smelly and enormous. I hate rubbing her feet. I’ve learned to try and enjoy giving her oral pleasure, and some of the other God awful things she makes me do. It wouldn’t be that bad if she didn’t have a DING-DONG down there. I do get a meal every two weeks. It’s not anything exquisite, but then again, I’m living in a rat infested shack with an enormous prostitute. I cannot keep writing, because Bertha is behind me.

But I’ll leave you with this: I wasn’t a flying squirrel, not even a cool bird or serpent, I was a bug, just a fly on the wall. But I wasn’t just a fly, I was a HORNET! A Hornet who couldn’t fly. A Hornet who’s writing this wearing the old Hornet mask and green lingerie, bent over getting “Bertha-fied”, with a gun in his mouth.

BERTHA: “Ohh my Britt…You are onnee horrrnny Hornet!”

I’ll try…to…keep one shred of …de…decency… if I could just reach my Hornet sting…

………………..Kato!!!

Ahh, Thank goodness you’re here, get this Fat Piece of Shit off my ass!

Review: The Incredible Hulk

Posted on June 13, 2008 by sexyarmpit

While many folks schedule their vacations to the Bahamas or Mexico this summer, I base my vacation time off release dates of super hero movies. It’s something I’ve always done, even as a kid. Well, let me correct myself, we weren’t lucky enough to be able to schedule our own vacation time when we were in school but I did it anyway. “Mom, Batman Returns comes out on Friday and I want to take off of school so can you take me?” Surprisingly, my mom was always supportive of that kind of thing. Even as I went through High School I never ditched class, I just had my mom call me in sick. Then my friends (who all pulled similar strings with their moms) and I went to the theater whenever a MUST SEE movie came out. Most of the time it was a Batman movie. You can just imagine how pumped I am for THE DARK KNIGHT! I’ve already scheduled my day off and booked a room in Atlantic City so I can see it in an IMAX theater. To a lot of you those plans might seem a little excessive just to see a movie. The sun, palm trees, a frozen cocktail…a Jedi crave not these things. Today my vacation day entailed a trip to the theater to see The Incredible Hulk. Here’s the recap:

Like so many other people, I was not impressed with Hulk’s last movie treatment in 2003. I was never an obsessive fan of the Hulk like I am with Batman, but I was a loyal fan of the TV show as a kid. That was the type of film I was hoping for when I saw Ang Lee’s version. The latest incarnation starring Ed Norton as David Banner reached such a level of satisfaction for me that I was entirely impressed. Ed Norton and the rest of the cast (Liv Tyler, William Hurt, and Tim Roth) seemed like they rocketed straight out of the comic books and onto the screen.

A couple of my favorite scenes featured the interaction between Norton and Tyler who had such a natural chemistry. One scene involves Betty Ross (Liv Tyler), attempting to nurture the Hulk with her soothing voice while Hulk is going balls out throwing boulders because he just saw some lightning and heard thunder. “It’s OK, it’s only the rain…” she says. In that scene, the relationship between Kong and Ann Darrow come to mind. In comparison, Ang Lee’s version seemed tragic while this rejuvenated Hulk evokes vitality. A Hulk film should not be dull and dreary and this film was the opposite and triumphed because of it. Thankfully, The Incredible Hulk maintainted the drama and action with occasional poignant moments.

Another scene that I adored, and actually laughed out loud, is a scene where David Banner and Betty Ross are taking a cab ride in New York City. The driver is completely reckless and driving like a maniac. Because they’re getting dangerously bounced around, Banner is about to go ape shit. They get out and the ever protective Ross gets irate on the taxi driver kicking his car and calling him an “Asshole.” I couldn’t tell if her character was just trying to protect Banner from hulking up or if the filmmakers were attempting a social commentary on the uptight aggressive nature of New York City? If any place in the world makes you turn into a super pissed off 9 foot tall green monster it will probably be the New York/New Jersey area. Represent.

Fans of the TV series and comic book will not be disappointed because it seemed very much an accurate mixture of the two. You’ll notice many references to the TV series such as Ferrigno as a pizza accepting security guard, Bill Bixby’s on the TV in The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, hints of the old theme song, and of course the Marvel staple Stan Lee is sipping a gaurana soda. Norton even begins to utter “You wouldn’t like me if I’m…” I’ll leave the rest to your imagination if you haven’t seen it yet. You may even hear a “HULK SMASH!!!” thrown in for good measure and a hint at Leader as the next villian.

The film had an excellent pace and didn’t drag, and the action scenes were skillfully created. And like the filmmakers promised, this Hulk film wasn’t bogged down with CGI. Even though Hulk and Abomination were CGI, they looked totally realistic and not like a video game. Hulk especially looked awesome.

If you’ve read articles on the Internet about the film or watched any TV spots, they couldn’t wait to spoil the Tony Stark cameo. I really wish it was a secret because seeing him at the end would’ve been more more of a surprise. But honestly, I was so wrapped up in the film that I totally slipped my mind that Robert Downey Jr. was about to drop in. How exciting will THE AVENGERS be? That one might necessitate a week long celebration, not just a day off!

So far this has been one helluva summer for movies. I’m traditionally let down by “summer blockbusters” but many such as Indy, and Hulk have blown me away. I can’t imagine what THE DARK KNIGHT is going to do to me. It might make me Hulk up and SMASH stuff! Have you seen The Incredible Hulk yet? Did you enjoy it? I’d like to hear YOUR thoughts!